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Southern Women.........

ksharp01

New member
Southern Women, Kittens and Biscuits

Someone once noted that a Southern woman can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 6-lane highway."

I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new transplanted northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Southern accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to the South a couple of years ago."Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."

Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here because the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!

I have a friend from Bawston, bless her heart, who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin" to do something. And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means!

My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she cain't help being ugly, but she could'uh stayed home."

Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
1. Drinking straight out of a can.
2. Not sending thank you notes.
3. Velvet after February.
4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.

Southern girls always say:
1. "Yes Maam."
2. "Yessir."

Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
1. "Yawl come back."
2. "Well, bless yer harrt."
3. "Drop by when ya can."
4. "How's yer mama?"
5. "Love yer hair."

Southern girls know their three R's:
1. Rich
2. Richer
3. Richest

Southern girls know everybody's first name:
1. Hunny
2. Darlin'
3. Shuger

Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
1. "Gone With the Wind"
2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
4. "Steel Magnolias"

Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
1. Bad hair
2. Bad manners
3. Bad blind dates

G.R.I.T.S. = Girls Raised in the South!
 
do you live by a byu? or w/e
or fuck I dont know anything about southerners, just that it's probably insane down there, fewf for living in Toronto, land of the sane..ish ;)
 
youngguns said:
do you live by a byu? or w/e
or fuck I dont know anything about southerners, just that it's probably insane down there, fewf for living in Toronto, land of the sane..ish ;)

wtf are you talking about? Everywhere you look down here are bayou's and basin's. Yes we do have swamps but we don't ride around in boats to get from one place to another. I do, however, have a pet gator named T-Boy ;)
 
feisty11975 said:
wtf are you talking about? Everywhere you look down here are bayou's and basin's. Yes we do have swamps but we don't ride around in boats to get from one place to another. I do, however, have a pet gator named T-Boy ;)
serious? I live in an igloo!
 
Gotta love southern women. Just don't piss em off. They know how to shoot, and aren't afraid to do it.
 
youngguns said:
lol they obviously do, nothing like a good pee tree,


tell me something out you guys I wouldn't know, I'm interested....

Louisiana does not have counties. We have parishes

We are the home of the soon to be Superbowl champions THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS! (had to throw that one in there)

ummm

we love spicy foods. Boiled crawfish, shrimp and crabs are a down home tradition here!

What else you wanna know?
 
feisty11975 said:
Louisiana does not have counties. We have parishes

We are the home of the soon to be Superbowl champions THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS! (had to throw that one in there)

ummm

we love spicy foods. Boiled crawfish, shrimp and crabs are a down home tradition here!

What else you wanna know?
Foot who? anyways..

where I live we have "towns", where I used to live it was 500 ppl...! Actually look up Manitoulin Island, that's wher I use to live...BAHAHAHA
 
youngguns said:
Foot who? anyways..

where I live we have "towns", where I used to live it was 500 ppl...! Actually look up Manitoulin Island, that's wher I use to live...BAHAHAHA

wtf are you talking about FOOT??? :confused:
 
feisty11975 said:
Louisiana does not have counties. We have parishes

We are the home of the soon to be Superbowl champions THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS! (had to throw that one in there)

ummm

we love spicy foods. Boiled crawfish, shrimp and crabs are a down home tradition here!

What else you wanna know?
Y'aaaallllllll are clearly delusional, bless your hearts.

There's a lot of crabs in Scarborough too, I hear.
 
And you don't really know a southern woman until you've been married to her for five or more years too :)
 
HiDnGoD said:
Y'aaaallllllll are clearly delusional, bless your hearts.

There's a lot of crabs in Scarborough too, I hear.

Hey, a girl can dream can't she? They do have a good shot. We'll see this weekend
 
feisty11975 said:
Louisiana does not have counties. We have parishes

We are the home of the soon to be Superbowl champions THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS! (had to throw that one in there)

ummm

we love spicy foods. Boiled crawfish, shrimp and crabs are a down home tradition here!

What else you wanna know?


don't forget we also have mo-dad's. lol
My ex husband (from Michigan) had no idea what that was.
 
ksharp01 said:
don't forget we also have mo-dad's. lol
My ex husband (from Michigan) had no idea what that was.

lol

some do, some don't

I haven't had one of those in years. City sewerage is the way to go. hahahahaha
 
youngguns said:
lol they obviously do, nothing like a good pee tree,


tell me something out you guys I wouldn't know, I'm interested....

they are called outhouses.......sucks every morning walking out barefoot and trying to avoid the gators to go pee. :)
 
ksharp01 said:
they are called outhouses.......sucks every morning walking out barefoot and trying to avoid the gators to go pee. :)
Hell, that's not Southern. Try using one when it's -10 deg, with snow up to your armpits. You get half way there, pick a clean spot in the snow, & colour it. And, ya gotta watch out for the snow snakes. :worried:
 
HiDnGoD said:
Hell, that's not Southern. Try using one when it's -10 deg, with snow up to your armpits. You get half way there, pick a clean spot in the snow, & colour it. And, ya gotta watch out for the snow snakes. :worried:


We have only had snow here twice in my life time...real snow I say! enough to keep everyone away from school and work, all streets were pretty much shut down. We just aren't prepared for snow. It was cool while it last though.
 
ksharp01 said:
they are called outhouses.......sucks every morning walking out barefoot and trying to avoid the gators to go pee. :)

However up north you can't actually use the outhouse until you shovel a path out to it. Otherwise you go quick out the window.
 
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