Alright here goes:
To Whom It May Concern i.e. HG Pennywacker,
It has come to my attention that you are masquerading as a moderator here at Elite Fitness, when in fact sir, you are not. Only WODIN can pull that one off. I ask you to please abort this foolish fantasy and take up building miniature airplane models. I could really use a Deluxe Firefly SG Turbo for my collection but don't have the time to build one so if you could help me out that would be great. Also, if you could stop placing bets on elevators that would also be great since elevators don't need the aggrevation. They're already under a great deal of stress what with lugging the fat asses of North America around all day and don't need your shannannigans.
Seriously,
Nathan aka George Spellwin