Social Anxiety [how to cure]?

[Growth&Courage]

My parents have no idea that I have this "disorder"...they are aware that I'm shy, but they (and I) would never think that it was because of a medical reason. I'm gonna ask my mom about this tommorow, and ask her to maybe take me to a CGT guy a few blocks down.

I used to be MUCH more shy and have MUCH more anxiety. Over the years I've made a concious effort to be more social and it has worked to some extent. I can introduce myself to people, talk to people, make presentations in front of groups. But, I'm just too self-conscious about what I say in front of ppl in fear that ppl will think negatively of me for it. TFor example, I fear phoning people b/c I might be interupting them. Another example: I fear talking a lot, b/c I think ppl get tired of me talking. That's what I need to work on. Interstingly, when I talk to ppl who I consider "below myself" (it sounds bad to say this, but it's a reality), I have none of these reservations. I can blab and blab for hours, I can swear, say whatever I want, etc. I think this is b/c I don't care what they think of me. If I could adapt this kind of attitude towards everybody ELSE in my life, I'd be set. I know this for sure. The only problem is: how to go aobut doing this.

Just following up here...after I read the above, I am now even more inclined for you to give CBT a try. Really. Your evaluation, perception and reaction to activity such as your fear of telephoning people seems like a combination of flawed cognitive processes and perhaps having roots deeply embedded in your internally constructed fears. Sounds like a perfect psychoanalytic case to me.
I've asked DIVISION to take a look at this. He'll give you his $0.02.

 

[DIVISION]

I was wondering, what's the best way to attack this? I don't really want to do "therapy" or stuff like that, so I'm thinking some kind of med?

All the signs point to Social Anxiety Disorder, bro.

I would recommend seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist for intial diagnosis and based on the symptoms you present, I'd say they'll put you on an SSRI most likely Paxil as well as a counseling schedule.

SAD, is not something to mess around with, it can potentially be emotionally scarring and is not something you want to just "live with". Please make that first step and see a mental health professional.

Good luck, holmes.




DIV

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

move to the woods

 

[cheddar cheese]

CBT can be done on your own -- its basically writting down all the errors in your thought process and countering them with objective ones.
Books:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...103-9770571-6522244?v=glance&s=books&n=507846 -- Really indepth, covers everything you'll ever need to know about anxiety.

http://www.supertao.com/about_book.html -- Focuses more on CBT.


And seriously go to a psychologist.

 

[CFZB]

no chemicals.

they wil hurt you.

its something you have to work out naturally inside yourself

or your just numbing yourself.

 

[Island Son]

I understand the attraction of taking a pill in the quiet of your own home, away from people, but normal behaviour isn't a condition. Try group first, especially because you're ok when you don't think you're being judged. The map is not the territory.
I'm still introverted but it's 5000% better now, no meds.

 

[DIVISION]

I'm still introverted but it's 5000% better now, no meds.

Let me be the judge of that, sir.

With all due respect, clinical diagnosis is the only thing that we have, anything else is just self perception and that is no basis for realistic behavioural study.




DIV

 

[CrazyRussian]

I used to just want to do all this stuff, but not be able to do it. For example, I would want to ask a guy next to me for a pencil, but I just couldn't. If I had taken one second to think about it, I would've thought "dude..it's no big deal, just ask him for the fucking pencil" but I used to just shrug it off and say "meh, guess I'm just shy by nature".

For the last few weeks, I've just been pushing thru that "wall". If I want to say something, but start getting those "I don't want to" urges, I simply think to myself "what's the big deal, you're just asking the guy for a pencil/ asking the girl how her day was/ telling the guy how your day is." It's actually worked. I talk more now. I've literally initiated more conversations with strangers/ppl I don't know very well in the last two weeks than I have in the past few years. Swear to god. Not over-exaggerating here. I now raise my hand in class, comment on what the teacher is saying, etc. I used to think people were critcizing what I said...then I looked at it from my point of view. When someone raises their hand in class and says something, do I criticize them? No, I could give two shakes of a shit what they say.

At the sake of rambling, here's what I've been thinking when I want to ask/say something to someone: "if I was in that person's shoes, would I get pissed off by this question/comment?" 99% of the time, I find that the answer is no. Usually embaresing things like semi-flirting have become kinda easier once I've realize that people not only don't mind it, but welcome it.

Although I'm certain I still have some social anxiety which may warrant treatment, I wanna just try my new thingie for a few weeks, see if it doesn't fix things up for me. I kinda wanna do all that therapy and stuff as a last resort.


EDIT = I hope this post doesn't reek too much of the "guy who doesn't want to admit his problem" stench (although I see why it might)

 

[Growth&Courage]

Let me be the judge of that, sir.

With all due respect, clinical diagnosis is the only thing that we have, anything else is just self perception and that is no basis for realistic behavioural study.




DIV

And clinical diagnosis is objective friend?

Clinical diagnosis relies heavily on scoring system by means of utilizing psychometrics construct. Scoring system is at best representative of clusters of those factors associated with introversion. Very often it is constructed with flaws and biases not to mentioned human errors and subject's responses have been documented to be influenced by a variety of internal and external factors. At last but not least, statistical analysis can only give a certain statement, much of the interpretation is subjective.

But with all due to respect, something tells me that you would have judged him well.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

You just have to keep facing it and it will gradually go away as you gain more confidence in being in front of other people. Soon it will seem as natural as talking to a buddy.

As with most things, practice never hurts.