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Freak Show
New member
I've been told this since I started dating. Damn these morals!
So who here is the "Marrying Type?"
- Thread starter Freak Show
- Start date
Bikini Mod
New member
I used to be. Now I am the "Living in Sin" type LOL!
R
ryker77
Guest
The better question is " Who is the type that wants to loose an assload of money in a divorce"
Marriage is a holy event. And since most americans now think its ok to marry and divorce just like trading in a new car. Marriage in America is way to overrated and has to many $$$$$ risks.
Stay single- keep your money- keep your freedom.
If you both love each other - Then what does a piece of paper prove????
Marriage is a holy event. And since most americans now think its ok to marry and divorce just like trading in a new car. Marriage in America is way to overrated and has to many $$$$$ risks.
Stay single- keep your money- keep your freedom.
If you both love each other - Then what does a piece of paper prove????
theoak01
New member
I feel im the type that would want to be settleing down within the next 5 years,i hate this dating game bullshit,i just want to meet someone im crazy about and cant stand to be away from,then i will marry,and when i do get married she is signing a paper saying she gets none of my shit and i get none of hers if there is divorce,im not gonna bust my balls to have some women play me and take half my shit,and im not having kids so ill never have to pay child support,this is a fool proof method so you dont lose your shit and arent paying child support leaving you money for gear
Train Harder
New member
I wouldn't mind living in sin with bikinimom
Bikini Mod
New member
I agree w/Dillon and Ryker - a piece of paper doesn't mean JACK SHIT and you should find yourself BEFORE you find a mate..but there is more to it than that.
W/O that piece of paper you do NOT have the same rights that marrried people do, otherwise why would gay couples be trying to change the laws so that same sex marriages would be LEGALLY recognized? Unfortunately, the piece of paper is a double edged sword: yes, your "union" is recognized by the law and society in general. There is also some protection afforded...ie deadbeat parents and just fucking advantage-taking sharks, but GODDAMN is it fucking messed up trying to end it when the relationship is no longer functional and it would benefit BOTH parties (and children MOST) to dissolve it.
As for "finding yourself"....this sounds like a good idea. Unfortunately, life is not that simple. Perhaps I am incorrect in my thinking, but isn't "finding yourself" a life-long process? True, I know so much more about myself now than I did when I was first married. So does that mean I should only consider a legal commitment once my ovaries are dusty? I know this last comment makes me sound like I believe that the only reason for marriage is procreation. Nothing could be further from the truth.
All I am saying is that there are no black and white, quick fix, "one size fits all" answer. We do not look at life the same in our twenties, thirties, forties, etc.... I am not commitment phobic. I thought that I would be married FOREVER. But my ex's actions have not only NOT made me regret my decision to divorce (he did not want it), but REAFFIRM that I did the right thing for MY CHILDREN AND ME and should've done this a LONG TIME AGO. Hell, the only person this is NOT RIGHT FOR - IS HIM! Kind of makes you see why he did NOT want the divorce to begin with......yea, it was good to be the king.
W/O that piece of paper you do NOT have the same rights that marrried people do, otherwise why would gay couples be trying to change the laws so that same sex marriages would be LEGALLY recognized? Unfortunately, the piece of paper is a double edged sword: yes, your "union" is recognized by the law and society in general. There is also some protection afforded...ie deadbeat parents and just fucking advantage-taking sharks, but GODDAMN is it fucking messed up trying to end it when the relationship is no longer functional and it would benefit BOTH parties (and children MOST) to dissolve it.
As for "finding yourself"....this sounds like a good idea. Unfortunately, life is not that simple. Perhaps I am incorrect in my thinking, but isn't "finding yourself" a life-long process? True, I know so much more about myself now than I did when I was first married. So does that mean I should only consider a legal commitment once my ovaries are dusty? I know this last comment makes me sound like I believe that the only reason for marriage is procreation. Nothing could be further from the truth.
All I am saying is that there are no black and white, quick fix, "one size fits all" answer. We do not look at life the same in our twenties, thirties, forties, etc.... I am not commitment phobic. I thought that I would be married FOREVER. But my ex's actions have not only NOT made me regret my decision to divorce (he did not want it), but REAFFIRM that I did the right thing for MY CHILDREN AND ME and should've done this a LONG TIME AGO. Hell, the only person this is NOT RIGHT FOR - IS HIM! Kind of makes you see why he did NOT want the divorce to begin with......yea, it was good to be the king.
R
ryker77
Guest
BikiniMom- I don't know the whole story of you and your EX. But I do know this you both made a promise to each other and in front of God. Something like " for better and worse" , " sickness and health" etc etc. But when the tough got going you got packing.
Like I said I don't know the whole story so you may have had needed to get rid of him.
But it seams the American society has watched way too much TV and now thinks it totally OK to quit and give up.
With the divorce rate at over 50% failure and can only say that the American culture view on Marriage has changed alot in the last few years.
So I can say I don't think I'll ever legally married again. Perhaps I'll get married in the Lords eyes but the goverment and courts can stay out of it.
Like I said I don't know the whole story so you may have had needed to get rid of him.
But it seams the American society has watched way too much TV and now thinks it totally OK to quit and give up.
With the divorce rate at over 50% failure and can only say that the American culture view on Marriage has changed alot in the last few years.
So I can say I don't think I'll ever legally married again. Perhaps I'll get married in the Lords eyes but the goverment and courts can stay out of it.
Bikini Mod
New member
I understand what you are saying. I DID make a promise, both legally and in the eyes of God...but at what point do you continue w/the marriage because you do not want to "break your word" and when do you dissolve a union that is deterimental to you BOTH - and MOST ESPECIALLY to YOUR CHILDREN?
Too many seem to think that I decided to "pack it in" because it got tough. Hell, if that were the case then I would've NEVER made it to the altar. The details are too long and boring....let us just say that EVERYONE who knows us sez that they CAN NOT BELIEVE that I lasted the 13 years that I did (11 of them married) and that my girls can ONLY BENEFIT from my decision to divorce.
It would have been FAR EASIER for me to send the white flag up, die on the inside, stay in the marriage "for the sake of the kids" and have my girls grow to hate me and disrespect me just a little more each day for not having had the BALLS to leave. Since THE POLICE had my ex removed from the home (I now have a Final Protection Order against him....something that is very difficult to get - ESPECIALLY when there is NO PROOF - only me and my word - A FPO is FOREVER...it does NOT expire with time....he can NEVER contact me again - nor can anyone even so much as leave me a note on his behalf, or he will be jailed.......does this help your picture of my situation?) my children have been calmer, respectful of me and people in general and though they are QUITE saddened at only being able to spend small periods of time with their dad, they do agree and have said to me on a few occasions, "If you had called the police the first time daddy hit you (he only hit me ONCE) would all this be over by now?"....my answer, "Probably." "Well then Mommy, why didn't you call?"
Pretty fucking shocking shit. Here I was trying to do what I thought was right by not involving the authorities. So now, 7 months later, one final protection order and new harrassment charges pending, the word "settlement" has not EVEN been discussed. My ex is quite disturbed and has SERIOUS anger management issues to deal with.....until he gets them resolved I think we will all be trapped in hell.
I could go on and on (SHit, I think I did).....bottom line. I do agree with you about the divorce thing. Too many people take the commitment to marriage and family far too lightly. But you also have to realize that (I believe) many of the divorces are not frivolous because people just "didn't want to stick it out"....but because we now have choices (BOTH MEN and WOMEN) to stand up for ourselves when we are being abused emotionally and/or physically and just end it. Now, if one does not rectify within THEMSELVES (something I am working VERY HARD to do) that caused them to commit such an error in judgement when choosing a mate to have to end the relationship...than that is ON THEM.
As for not marrying legally, but making a commitment in the eyes of God....isn't that semantics now? Why is one ceremony MORE VALID than the other and in whose eyes is it valid? Certainly NOT society's!
If two people are committed to each other no piece of paper or ceremony will make it more valid. It is in the hearts of the two involved in that relationship...the rest is inconsequential. The only tie that REALLY binds is LEGAL. All I was saying by my previous post is that I do NOT believe that I will EVER LEGALLY tie myself to a man again - PERIOD. Did you know that statistically MORE MEN remarry after a divorce THAN WOMEN (this number is different with women w/younger children...they tend to remarry more often than their counterparts with older or NO children....for men the number is STILL higher REGARDLESS of their parental status)?! This just goes to show you who TRULY gets the "raw end of the deal".
Too many seem to think that I decided to "pack it in" because it got tough. Hell, if that were the case then I would've NEVER made it to the altar. The details are too long and boring....let us just say that EVERYONE who knows us sez that they CAN NOT BELIEVE that I lasted the 13 years that I did (11 of them married) and that my girls can ONLY BENEFIT from my decision to divorce.
It would have been FAR EASIER for me to send the white flag up, die on the inside, stay in the marriage "for the sake of the kids" and have my girls grow to hate me and disrespect me just a little more each day for not having had the BALLS to leave. Since THE POLICE had my ex removed from the home (I now have a Final Protection Order against him....something that is very difficult to get - ESPECIALLY when there is NO PROOF - only me and my word - A FPO is FOREVER...it does NOT expire with time....he can NEVER contact me again - nor can anyone even so much as leave me a note on his behalf, or he will be jailed.......does this help your picture of my situation?) my children have been calmer, respectful of me and people in general and though they are QUITE saddened at only being able to spend small periods of time with their dad, they do agree and have said to me on a few occasions, "If you had called the police the first time daddy hit you (he only hit me ONCE) would all this be over by now?"....my answer, "Probably." "Well then Mommy, why didn't you call?"
Pretty fucking shocking shit. Here I was trying to do what I thought was right by not involving the authorities. So now, 7 months later, one final protection order and new harrassment charges pending, the word "settlement" has not EVEN been discussed. My ex is quite disturbed and has SERIOUS anger management issues to deal with.....until he gets them resolved I think we will all be trapped in hell.
I could go on and on (SHit, I think I did).....bottom line. I do agree with you about the divorce thing. Too many people take the commitment to marriage and family far too lightly. But you also have to realize that (I believe) many of the divorces are not frivolous because people just "didn't want to stick it out"....but because we now have choices (BOTH MEN and WOMEN) to stand up for ourselves when we are being abused emotionally and/or physically and just end it. Now, if one does not rectify within THEMSELVES (something I am working VERY HARD to do) that caused them to commit such an error in judgement when choosing a mate to have to end the relationship...than that is ON THEM.
As for not marrying legally, but making a commitment in the eyes of God....isn't that semantics now? Why is one ceremony MORE VALID than the other and in whose eyes is it valid? Certainly NOT society's!
If two people are committed to each other no piece of paper or ceremony will make it more valid. It is in the hearts of the two involved in that relationship...the rest is inconsequential. The only tie that REALLY binds is LEGAL. All I was saying by my previous post is that I do NOT believe that I will EVER LEGALLY tie myself to a man again - PERIOD. Did you know that statistically MORE MEN remarry after a divorce THAN WOMEN (this number is different with women w/younger children...they tend to remarry more often than their counterparts with older or NO children....for men the number is STILL higher REGARDLESS of their parental status)?! This just goes to show you who TRULY gets the "raw end of the deal".
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I myself don't want to get married until I have done everything/seen everything I wanted to, and am willing to give up most of my personal freedom. Who knows when that will be. 
SleepingFist
New member
Well, I was, then I wasn't then I did and wasn't and now I'm not and I'm gonna be so...anythign for a licence I guess.
R
ryker77
Guest
Bikinimom, thier was no excuse for your Ex to abuse you. Like I said I didn't know the whole story and now I do ' I say you probably did the right thing by leaving him.
P
plifter
Guest
Velvett, since you don't want to get married can I at least be your sex slave?
