serious contemplating..

[satchboogie]

scenario:

you've been goin out with your partner for a few years or longer when you find out something about their past that you dont like.

something, that if you had known on the first date, you wouldnt make a second date.

now, you're in love and years into a relationship.

how do you handle such situation?

 

[WarriorPL]

dude just say it... youre gay.

 

[hondacbrfi]

you can't have a future if you live in the past. How many people did he kill?

 

[Devastation]

what do you think. why does this past event change who she is today?

 

[Paulos]

Depends on what happened. Be more specific man.

 

[Seashell]

I think it depends what that "something" is...

..if it's bodies in the backyard.. I'd definately still have a problem with it, 2 years later..

..if it's that they had only JUST broken up with their ex 3 days before meeting you... that would have bothered me at the time, but not after 2 years anymore..

 

[PoyeBoy]

its hard man, I found out 6 years after the fact that my girlfriend kissed a guy, we had only been going out for about a month at that time, I can GUARANTEE that we would not be going out now if I would have found out at the time, im sure there would actually be 2 people in the hospital and one person in juvinile detention for a while, but thats besides the point

any way, if its done its done, no use dwelling over the past if it really cant affect the future or present, especially now since I know my girl wouldnt do that to me again, and people do stupid shit that they regret, if they dont acknowlage the fact that they fucked up would make it much worse by 10 folds

 

[alien amp pharm]

Well if it's something you should've known and he/she knew this, then I'd be more upset that he/she kept this from you all this time. i.e. lied.

What is it anyways? Perhaps you are over stressing it.

 

[magman1]

yeah, it depends what it is...few bodies, no biggie! but think about how different of a person you probably were six years ago!

 

[satchboogie]

actually, this is a total hypothetical question..

i mean, lets say you go out with somebody and down the line you found out that they used to strip?

 

[Buffy Beffy]

I know exactly how you feel, except in reverse. I've pondered this question myself....
If only ---- knew this, they wouldn't be around, despite the length of the rel. or friendship.
That's a tough one.
It is in the past and they have, in some way, grown from it. Everything about us makes us who we are...every circumstance we endure. But also, they should have told you. Maybe they weren't ready. I sure don't know.
The best thing to do right now in this situation is talk about it together. Find out everything. Why they didn't tell you long ago. Discuss how this effects a major factor in your relationship: trust. And after everything is 100% clear, contemplate the best solution for handling the situation.
I would say if it is REAL love....not this fake shit that is spreadin' around....then it will make it through this speed bump, despite the size. But as I say again, I don't know the situation.

 

[Seashell]

The thing I dislike the most about this type of situation is that it makes you wonder "...what ELSE has this person not told me.."

 

[satchboogie]

again this is a total hypothetical situation..

but everybody has a dark side, and in a marriage i'm sure that darkside is revealed at some point.

 

[sh4dowf4lcon]

need more details, like seashell said, it would depend...

 

[Burning_Inside]

hey satch..... Hypotheically hehe...I know a girl..Well I met her online about 4 years ago thru the AOL free personals. Hot as hell. Lived in the same state, but 6 hrs. away. We have tons of shit in common. I've talked to her on the phone a couple times, have seen her on webcam (while ont he phone with her) so I know this chick is real.

I can say that this is the only girl who I've known this long that I have never ever argued with, and one of the very very select few women who I've met online or in person in the past few years that I ENJOY interacting with online, or talking to. She's going to school in LA right now for makup/special effects for movies. She actually personally knows a few popular singers/bandmembers such as Maynard from Tool, a few guys from Static x, and Manson.
She has her act together, moreso than I can say about myself.

the punchline: She was/is a lapdancer at strip clubs.

 

[Becoming]

The thing I dislike the most about this type of situation is that it makes you wonder "...what ELSE has this person not told me.."

yeah, like how many tricks did she turn WHILE she was a stripper...

hypothetical questions suck, the don't have the requisite details... you can only give real answers to real questions, hypothetical questions can only have hypothetical answers...

 

[satchboogie]

hey satch..... Hypotheically hehe...I know a girl..Well I met her online about 4 years ago thru the AOL free personals. Hot as hell. Lived in the same state, but 6 hrs. away. We have tons of shit in common. I've talked to her on the phone a couple times, have seen her on webcam (while ont he phone with her) so I know this chick is real.



the punchline: She was/is a lapdancer at strip clubs.

thats tough bro.

i mean.. stripping isnt exactly a very 'normal' job.. spreadin pussy in front of total strangers.

no disrespect bro but i'm just a littel hesitant to have anything to do with girls into modeling/porn/acting/stripping.

 

[sh4dowf4lcon]

thats tough bro.
i mean.. stripping isnt exactly a very 'normal' job.. spreadin pussy in front of total strangers.
no disrespect bro but i'm just a littel hesitant to have anything to do with girls into modeling/porn/acting/stripping.

Okay, I see your point...if something happened to call in question the Character of someone you cared about...how to respond??

All you can do is talk to the person about how you feel...you cant change things...
you can only express that you feel betrayed or confused or whatever it is that you feel...If you had been with this person for a few years then you should give them the benefit of the doubt. -IMO
If talking and time doesnt bring back the trust, then you move on...
In a relationship the following applies 100% of the time: WITHOUT TRUST YOU HAVE NOTHING

 

[Bullit]

Satch, broly, ignore these jokesters
They don't respect threads like this.

I kinda know what you are talking about, and I'd like to help.

So first thing's first.... I need some info about your partner.
Like, whats his name?

 

[biteme]

scenario:

you've been goin out with your partner for a few years or longer when you find out something about their past that you dont like.

something, that if you had known on the first date, you wouldnt make a second date.

now, you're in love and years into a relationship.

how do you handle such situation?

Kill them and collect the insurance money.

 

[satchboogie]

Satch, broly, ignore these jokesters
They don't respect threads like this.

I kinda know what you are talking about, and I'd like to help.

So first thing's first.... I need some info about your partner.
Like, whats his name?

lmfao.. good one fag boy!

 

[biteme]

again this is a total hypothetical situation..

but everybody has a dark side, and in a marriage i'm sure that darkside is revealed at some point.

Yes, and you may not see it for 10 years, so it's always a gamble.

 

[sh4dowf4lcon]

Good thing peeps can come to C&C and find solid advice.

When in doubt turn to C&C and the butt bandits.

Lucky for me the butt bandits dont like me, and I dont like them...so you know you can get sound advice from the enemy of the enemy.

Let him with ears to hear...hear