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Real Authentic George Carlin Quotes!!

Wfabrizio

New member
I love this guy......


George Carlin


I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.


I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. [George Carlin]


Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money! [George Carlin, on Politically Incorrect, May 29, 1997]


I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to God are all answered at about the same 50-percent rate. [George Carlin, Brain Droppings]


I have as much authority as the pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it. [George Carlin, Brain Droppings]


When it comes to BULLSHIT...BIG-TIME, MAJOR LEAGUE BULLSHIT... you have to stand IN AWE, IN AWE of the all time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. [George Carlin]


Here's another question I've been pondering- What is all this shit about Angels? Have you herd this? 3 out of 4 people belive in Angels. Are you FUCKING STUPID? Has everybody lost their mind? You know what I think it is? I think it's a massive, collective, psychotic chemical flashback for all the drugs smoked, swallowed, shot, and obsorbed rectally by all Americans from 1960 to 1990. 30 years of street drugs will get you some fucking Angels my friend! [George Carlin]


What about Goblins, huh? Doesn't anybody belive in Goblins? You never hear about this.. Except on Halloween and then it's all negative shit. And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're unreliable! I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.. [George Carlin, You are all Diseased]


:FRlol:
 
Simply beautiful. LOL I've followed Carlin for 20 years, and actually have alot of his old stuff memorized. He says what everyone is thinking. One brilliant SOB.



delts2
 
I don't know what happened, but there were a lot of bogus Carlin quotes floating around on the internet. I don't know if someone fucked up or intentionally used his name. Who knows? There was one thread on this board that was an improper Carlin quote. It sounded a lot more like a NRA speech.
 
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