Problem with the ex-wife

[biteme]

I don't understand this woman. She divorced me. Her reasons: We didn't have enough in common. She liked to smoke, drink, and party and I didn't. Those were her exact words to me. We've been divorced nearly 5 years now and I rarely ever mention her name, yet she badmouths me to my daughter knowing that she's going to tell me. Why? I'm guessing it's because my daughter would rather live with me than with her and her boyfriend. The things she says about me have no basis in fact. I just don't understand her need to criticize me to my child. I refuse to respond because I believe she wants to argue.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I don't understand this woman. She divorced me. Her reasons: We didn't have enough in common. She liked to smoke, drink, and party and I didn't. Those were her exact words to me. We've been divorced nearly 5 years now and I rarely ever mention her name, yet she badmouths me to my daughter knowing that she's going to tell me. Why? I'm guessing it's because my daughter would rather live with me than with her and her boyfriend. The things she says about me have no basis in fact. I just don't understand her need to criticize me to my child. I refuse to respond because I believe she wants to argue.

I know it is easier said than done, but let it go. Your daughter knows the truth and your wife is only fucking herself. You are that child's one and only father. Your ex needs to deal with that.

This whole notion about one parent "turning" the child against the other is utter HORSESHIT. The only one that can hurt or solidify a relationship with a child IS THAT PERSON.

You are doing the right thing by not addressing bullshit. Believe me, I know it's hard. I have said a lot of things that I shouldn't have when I was hurt or angry. And I always apologized afterwards to my girls.

Just tell your daughter that her mother isn't a bad person, she is only hurting and when people hurt you shouldn't take what they say to heart. You know it hurts your daughter to hear her mother talk shit about you and one of these days that child will tell her mother where to go and what to do when she gets there. Of course, then your wife will talk shit about how you "turned the child against her". So damned easy to point the finger at others rather than turn that fucker around back at ourselves, isn't it?

God, I hate it when people can't fucking take responsibility for their own behavior.

 

[biteme]

Re: Re: Problem with the ex-wife

I know it is easier said than done, but let it go. Your daughter knows the truth and your wife is only fucking herself. You are that child's one and only father. Your ex needs to deal with that.

This whole notion about one parent "turning" the child against the other is utter HORSESHIT. The only one that can hurt or solidify a relationship with a child IS THAT PERSON.

You are doing the right thing by not addressing bullshit. Believe me, I know it's hard. I have said a lot of things that I shouldn't have when I was hurt or angry. And I always apologized afterwards to my girls.

Just tell your daughter that her mother isn't a bad person, she is only hurting and when people hurt you shouldn't take what they say to heart. You know it hurts your daughter to hear her mother talk shit about you and one of these days that child will tell her mother where to go and what to do when she gets there. Of course, then your wife will talk shit about how you "turned the child against her". So damned easy to point the finger at others rather than turn that fucker around back at ourselves, isn't it?

God, I hate it when people can't fucking take responsibility for their own behavior.

Yes, I am very tempted to pick up the phone and call her and tell her to shut her damn mouth and what is her problem. But I know now that this is what she wants me to do. She likes to goad me into arguments for some reason. She calls over here all the time to speak with my daughter, yet if I call over there, she tells my daughter that I call there too much and that I need to get a life. I work full-time and go to school and raise a child. I'm trying to understand the motive for her comments. Your right, the sad thing is the child gets hurt no matter what and I have been guilty of talking about her in the past, but I have let it go and she has not. It seems that she has got what she wants. She found her a well-to-do man, she lives in a big house on a ranch. I would think that she would rather avoid me than try to provoke me into arguments. I'm not taking the bait.

 

[HANSEL]

She liked to smoke, drink, and party and I didn't. Those were her exact words to me.

yet she badmouths me to my daughter knowing that she's going to tell me.

good Riddance bro.

That is really messed up when they do that shit!

 

[out_at_sea]

Dude, she is just tempting you...DO not fall for her trap! you seem to be a lot beter than her..

 

[RADAR]

Re: Re: Problem with the ex-wife

[B

This whole notion about one parent "turning" the child against the other is utter HORSESHIT.
Sorry Bmom- wrong answer. My brother had gotten divorced many yrs ago,this woman has taken upon herself to launch a destructive crusade against my side of the family,it has gotten so bad (shondra i'll call her) has quit comming over even after my mom bought her a christmas present as she does each yr well my moms gone now shondra never came to the funeral,in fact she has stopped vistting alltogether and 8 yrs later we still have her present - everyone always said"Well when shes older she will know the truth-------- she is now married and 26 yrs old and still has nothing to do with us" When she was small i would have all sorts of goodies on hand that i ordered thru my company(electronics) we would fly this hot air baloon and she would get a kick outta it,when my bros ex came to pick her up shondra would be going 100 miles an hr about what we did and how much fun it was......but the next time i saw her she was shut up tighter than a clam,this kept repeating over & over until she finally stopped comming all together.To this day i still wonder what vile propraganda was spewed it make this suitation so messed up!




RADAR

 

[RADAR]

Biteme i feel for you bro, thats messed up!


RADAR

 

[Bikini Mod]

Re: Re: Re: Problem with the ex-wife

Yes, I am very tempted to pick up the phone and call her and tell her to shut her damn mouth and what is her problem. But I know now that this is what she wants me to do. She likes to goad me into arguments for some reason. She calls over here all the time to speak with my daughter, yet if I call over there, she tells my daughter that I call there too much and that I need to get a life. I work full-time and go to school and raise a child. I'm trying to understand the motive for her comments. Your right, the sad thing is the child gets hurt no matter what and I have been guilty of talking about her in the past, but I have let it go and she has not. It seems that she has got what she wants. She found her a well-to-do man, she lives in a big house on a ranch. I would think that she would rather avoid me than try to provoke me into arguments. I'm not taking the bait.

FUCK HER.

You call as often as you want, hell, call 10 x's p/day if you like to speak with your daughter. SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER TOO...

She sounds like she has issues. I know it is hard, but let it the fuck go. All you can do is feel sorry for a person like that.

 

[out_at_sea]

Re: Re: Re: Problem with the ex-wife

[B

This whole notion about one parent "turning" the child against the other is utter HORSESHIT.
Sorry Bmom- wrong answer. My brother had gotten divorced many yrs ago,this woman has taken upon herself to launch a destructive crusade against my side of the family,it has gotten so bad (shondra i'll call her) has quit comming over even after my mom bought her a christmas present as she does each yr well my moms gone now shondra never came to the funeral,in fact she has stopped vistting alltogether and 8 yrs later we still have her present - everyone always said"Well when shes older she will know the truth-------- she is now married and 26 yrs old and still has nothing to do with us" When she was small i would have all sorts of goodies on hand that i ordered thru my company(electronics) we would fly this hot air baloon and she would get a kick outta it,when my bros ex came to pick her up shondra would be going 100 miles an hr about what we did and how much fun it was......but the next time i saw her she was shut up tighter than a clam,this kept repeating over & over until she finally stopped comming all together.To this day i still wonder what vile propraganda was spewed it make this suitation so messed up!



RADAR

Tough to comprehend.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Radar I am so sorry... Sometimes there is just no "answer".

 

[biteme]

Thanks for the comments. It helps to get other's viewpoints and understanding.

 

[Lao Tzu]

Sounds like resentment against you (thats an obvious statement, but thats what resentful people do). Do you have any idea why she would resent you like that? Do you think it has anything to do with your daughter almost reaching 14, so she gets to choose which parent she can stay with?

 

[KAYNE]

YOU SHOULD SPLASH HER WITH NITRIC ACID. PREFERABLY IN THE FACE AREA. THAT SHOULD SOLVE EVERYTHING.

 

[Mandinka2]

Your ex-wife sounds like she has bi-polar personality disorder. Knowledge of that should be enough for you to get on with your own life. Take care of the small one.

 

[AAP]

She is baiting you for some reason. Sitting around feeling insecure and with low self confidence, she is trying to build herself up by tearing you down. Which feels good for like... umm... 5 seconds. Then it is dashed when she has an inkling of a clue that other people are not fooled by her little tirades and lies.

Take the high road and ignore her. Give a woman enough rope and she will hang herself.... which will be the case in your daughter. Children are not stupid nor blind.

 

[Zebo]

She is baiting you for some reason. Sitting around feeling insecure and with low self confidence, she is trying to build herself up by tearing you down. Which feels good for like... umm... 5 seconds. Then it is dashed when she has an inkling of a clue that other people are not fooled by her little tirades and lies.

Take the high road and ignore her. Give a woman enough rope and she will hang herself.... which will be the case in your daughter. Children are not stupid nor blind.

Great advice......AAP is wise.

 

[Bikini Mod]

She is baiting you for some reason. Sitting around feeling insecure and with low self confidence, she is trying to build herself up by tearing you down. Which feels good for like... umm... 5 seconds. Then it is dashed when she has an inkling of a clue that other people are not fooled by her little tirades and lies.

Take the high road and ignore her. Give a woman enough rope and she will hang herself.... which will be the case in your daughter. Children are not stupid nor blind.

Worth quoting

 

[ariolanine]

I just don't understand her need to criticize me to my child. I refuse to respond because I believe she wants to argue.

She criticizes you because deep down she still wants you bro. She has some interest in you. Just your existence is enough for her to be constantly thinking about you. Don't argue with her because that is all an immature drama bitch wants. Take the high road and you'll win and drive her CRAZY!!