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txbondsman
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somebody tell the joke from the other day about the monkey who was putting everything up his ass and then eating it... who told that one? funny MF'er....
post up your best jokes
- Thread starter *The_West*
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*The_West*
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was that not just puddles describing his picnic?txbondsman said:
Scotsman
New member
And Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. All three sit at the bar and order a pint of Guinness. While they are waiting for their beers to settle a fly comes and lands in the Englishman's beer. He pushes the pint aside and asks for a new one. Another fly comes and lands in the Scotsman's beer, he calmly picks up the pint and starts drinking. A third fly comes and lands in the Irishman's beer. He plucks the fly out and starts shaking it over the glass screaming "Spit it out you bastard"
Cheers,
Scotsman
Cheers,
Scotsman
*The_West*
New member
lmao how true!Scotsman said:
*The_West*
New member
why cant they sell vibrators in ireland? because the women keep chipping their teeth!
Scotsman
New member
A young American is sitting in a pub in Scotland when an older man sits down next to him.
The older man points out the window at a barn and says:
"You see that barn that fine fine barn out there I built it with me own two hands but do the call me Angus the barn builder? No."
The American kind of shrugs and turns back to his beer.
The older man then points out to the field outside the pub and says:
"You see that field there that fine fine field, I plowed the hole thing by hand and planted it myself. Do the call me Angus the farmer? No."
Again the American turns back to his beer.
The older man then points out the window to the stone bridge outside and says:
"Do you see that bridge there, that fine fine bridge? I build the hole thing myself carried every stone and placed it by hand, but do the call me Angus the bridgebuilder? No. But you fuck just one sheep....."
Cheers,
Scotsman
The older man points out the window at a barn and says:
"You see that barn that fine fine barn out there I built it with me own two hands but do the call me Angus the barn builder? No."
The American kind of shrugs and turns back to his beer.
The older man then points out to the field outside the pub and says:
"You see that field there that fine fine field, I plowed the hole thing by hand and planted it myself. Do the call me Angus the farmer? No."
Again the American turns back to his beer.
The older man then points out the window to the stone bridge outside and says:
"Do you see that bridge there, that fine fine bridge? I build the hole thing myself carried every stone and placed it by hand, but do the call me Angus the bridgebuilder? No. But you fuck just one sheep....."
Cheers,
Scotsman
*The_West*
New member
haha!
a man is driving through the countryside, almost in the middle of nowhere when his car breaks down. luckily, he can see lights in the distance so he walks towards it. when he gets closer he realises it is a tiny little pub in a tiny little village. he enters, and when he does everyone falls silent and he notices some people staring menacingly at him. he says to the barman "im having some car trouble..." the barman cuts him short and says "who the hell are you, what do you do?" the man notices some of the locals creeping up behind him, rope in hand he says "i was just passing through, im a taxidermist" "what the hell is one of those" says the barman "i mount dead animals replies the now terrified man. the barman waves his hand at the approaching locals "its ok boys, he's one of us"
a man is driving through the countryside, almost in the middle of nowhere when his car breaks down. luckily, he can see lights in the distance so he walks towards it. when he gets closer he realises it is a tiny little pub in a tiny little village. he enters, and when he does everyone falls silent and he notices some people staring menacingly at him. he says to the barman "im having some car trouble..." the barman cuts him short and says "who the hell are you, what do you do?" the man notices some of the locals creeping up behind him, rope in hand he says "i was just passing through, im a taxidermist" "what the hell is one of those" says the barman "i mount dead animals replies the now terrified man. the barman waves his hand at the approaching locals "its ok boys, he's one of us"
*The_West*
New member
lol sick fucker
