Paulos Versus Nordstrom

[Nathan]

First round of the EF "Battle of Wits" Tournament will take place between Paulos and Nordstrom. Fellas, your conversation topic shall be based upon the following comment:

"Same shit, different toilet."

Explain what this phrase means to you and, of course, if you disagree with some of what your opponent is saying, please do your best to disprove him (make him look like a retard). You will be graded on grammar, punctuation, ability to coherently argue your side, and most importantly proper use of profanity. GO!

 

[sermon_of_mockery]

 

[Lift Chief]

Already the best thread ever...

 

[Lao Tzu]

Is this a battle of wits or a flame war? i thought it was a flame war.

 

[Paulos]

Err...I'm not exactly sure how we start either...just start slinging insults or what?

 

[skaman607]

I don't know but some shit is gonna hit the fan all I can say is sit back and watch the shit fly.

 

[Nathan]

Okay, well rather than make this an all-out flame war, I figured it would be best to begin with stating an opinion about something, in this case the phrase "Same shit, different toilet." So, simply begin by talking about that, playing off your differences of opinion, and then if the mood strikes, let it decay into nothing more than a good-natured mockfest. So, for instance, it might go like this:

Paulos: This is stupid. That phrase is stupid and so is this whole fucking thread.
Nordy: Actually, moron, the phrase clearly might be used as a response to the question, "What's new with you." In this case, "Same shit, different toilet." essentially means not much is new. Man, any asshole could have seen that.
Paulos: Assholes don't have eyes stupid, that's why they aren't used for seeing but rather for deficating.
Nordy: I'm prettier than you.
etc.

And so on and so forth. If you're confused though, you may begin by simply taking jabs at your opponent. The idea here is to convey wit and hilarity. The subject matter is of little import, I was only trying to get the ball rolling. Above all though, have fun.

 

[Lao Tzu]

Paulos: This is stupid. That phrase is stupid and so is this whole fucking thread.
Nordy: Actually, moron, the phrase clearly might be used as a response to the question, "What's new with you." In this case, "Same shit, different toilet." essentially means not much is new. Man, any asshole could have seen that.
Paulos: Assholes don't have eyes stupid, that's why they aren't used for seeing but rather for deficating.
Nordy: I'm prettier than you.
etc.

Paulos is probably too busy trying miserably to get laid by women he sees on hotornot.com to fight a flame war.

 

[Paulos]

Paulos is probably too busy trying miserably to get laid by women he sees on hotornot.com to fight a flame war.

Speaking of Hotornot hows that 4.0 rating working out for you Nords? I'd be bitter and unhappy also if I repulsed the opposite sex.

 

[Lao Tzu]

Speaking of Hotornot hows that 4.0 rating working out for you Nords? I'd be bitter and unhappy also if I repulsed the opposite sex.

It was a 5.3 dumbass. I'm only moderately repulsive. I caught my bad side when i took that pic. the out side. its whats inside that counts, at least thats what i hear.

Speaking of bitter & unhappy is your mom still a borderline hobo?

 

[Bullit]

I just gotta say.........

THIS FUCKIN RULES

Brilliant I say, brilliant.

 

[Paulos]

It was a 5.3 dumbass. I'm only moderately repulsive. I caught my bad side when i took that pic. the out side. its whats inside that counts, at least thats what i hear.

Speaking of bitter & unhappy is your mom still a borderline hobo?

You're right, it is the inside that counts, or at least that's what my ugly friends mom tells him.

I appreciate your concern for my mother, my unmuscular Broly Nordstrom. She is actually moving to Washington and I'll be staying here, so everything is working out fine.

Now that you mention Depression, are you still eating a bowl of Prozac and Milk each morning to keep yourself half an inch above suicide?

 

[mylife]

amazing displays of intellect and wit up in this jizerp.

 

[Nathan]

You're right, it is the inside that counts, or at least that's what my ugly friends mom tells him.

I appreciate your concern for my mother, my unmuscular Broly Nordstrom. She is actually moving to Washington and I'll be staying here, so everything is working out fine.

Now that you mention Depression, are you still eating a bowl of Prozac and Milk each morning to keep yourself half an inch above suicide?

And we're getting personal. Keep up the good work guys.

 

[mylife]

ps - next round suggestion is highintensity vs sermon of mockery

 

[Nathan]

ps - next round suggestion is highintensity vs sermon of mockery

That's a good call. Lots of animosity there. Come on guys, do you want the title or not dammit?

 

[sermon_of_mockery]

That's a good call. Lots of animosity there. Come on guys, do you want the title or not dammit?

good call

 

[Paulos]

HI will emerge Victorious, unless you dock ALOT of points for grammar.

 

[mylife]

good call

i said it graphic arts boy

 

[sermon_of_mockery]

HI will emerge Victorious, unless you dock ALOT of points for grammar.

you don't have to suck his cock yet,he has'nt signed on.

 

[Paulos]

you don't have to suck his cock yet,he has'nt signed on.

Don't start with me white boy, at least I could suck his cock. Your nose would block you from doing so by about a foot, Pinocchio.

 

[sermon_of_mockery]

Don't start with me white boy, at least I could suck his cock. Your nose would block you from doing so by about a foot, Pinocchio.

now your recycling his humor way to be original beaner

 

[Paulos]

now your recycling his humor way to be original beaner

How is that recycling Humor? That angle of mocking your gigantic nose has not been taken before.

Either way, let us cease fire until we are pitted against one another.

 

[Lao Tzu]

Now that you mention Depression, are you still eating a bowl of Prozac and Milk each morning to keep yourself half an inch above suicide?

Nope. I have taken up aerobic exercise for my depression. You know what exercise is don't you? its that thing you did so you would have the self esteem to not be a 300 pound high school dropout anymore.

Remember those days Paulos? when 'having a date' was a girl feeling sorry for you and letting you hold her hand while stating firmly that it would never go beyond that? you suck and you know it, its just a matter of time before that sinks in.

 

[sermon_of_mockery]

Either way, let us cease fire until we are pitted against one another.

deal

 

[Paulos]

Nope. I have taken up aerobic exercise for my depression. You know what exercise is don't you? its that thing you did so you would have the self esteem to not be a 300 pound high school dropout anymore.

Remember those days Paulos? when 'having a date' was a girl feeling sorry for you and letting you hold her hand while stating firmly that it would never go beyond that? you suck and you know it, its just a matter of time before that sinks in.

How can you try to clown on my Physique when I have a significant amount of mass over you and less Bodyfat? I don't particularly remember anything about holding hands, but there was a good deal of hiding in the bushes, rummaging through garbage, and ejaculating onto attractive females doorknobs so I could claim they had touched my semen. No holding hands though.

The only thing that's going to be "Sinking In" is my floppy, Trenbolone destroyed member into various underaged female anuses, Puc style.

 

[Lao Tzu]

How can you try to clown on my Physique when I have a significant amount of mass over you and less Bodyfat? I don't particularly remember anything about holding hands, but there was a good deal of hiding in the bushes, rummaging through garbage, and ejaculating onto attractive females doorknobs so I could claim they had touched my semen. No holding hands though.

The only thing that's going to be "Sinking In" is my floppy, Trenbolone destroyed member into various underaged female anuses, Puc style.

I detect no flame directed towards me in this post. Have you given up because you are out of ammo, out of motive to continue or out of time? I'm the USA, and you're Saddam. You can buy some time with these distractions but eventually i will bury your ass, with or without UN approval.

Face it big PP. You flame like retards fuck. You don't know what you're doing, you have no sense of timing, you are out of touch with whats going on in reality and you think a few token gestures makes you the king.

The Nordstrom is not just a man, he is beyond that at this point. The definition of verbal violence will be rewritten in my image when Websters comes out with its 2006 edition of 'juvenile slang'.

 

[Paulos]

I detect no flame directed towards me in this post. Have you given up because you are out of ammo, out of motive to continue or out of time? I'm the USA, and you're Saddam. You can buy some time with these distractions but eventually i will bury your ass, with or without UN approval.

Face it big PP. You flame like retards fuck. You don't know what you're doing, you have no sense of timing, you are out of touch with whats going on in reality and you think a few token gestures makes you the king.

The Nordstrom is not just a man, he is beyond that at this point. The definition of verbal violence will be rewritten in my image when Websters comes out with its 2006 edition of 'juvenile slang'.

Broly Nordy, apparently I was not harsh enough to get my point across. Let me break it down, Son.

You are a bitter, unattractive, permanently celibate, reliant on anti-depressant, sociopath that has erotic fantasies of murdering entire families in a cold rage then fellating the dead male family members while wearing an XXXL Bikini in some perverse attempt to achieve the love your father never gave you when you were a child.

I flame like retards fuck?

Nigga please.

At least me and the retards can get laid, how about you? I'm sure it's not too difficult with your winning personality, stunning good looks, and personable extrovert nature.

With someone as fucked up as you, I could never run out of ammo.

Go do some more DNP in a fruitless effort to lose the bodyfat you lack the discipline to lose normally you pathetic, unmotivated Fatass.

 

[gmanlax7]

ouch he will remember that flambasting the rest of his life

 

[anythingbutsane]

you two are both pathetic shitbaskets.

Look you little fuckmonkeys, I am diagnosed OCD and i can still find the time in between vomiting and picking at scabs to belittle either of you to the point of suicide.

HEY NORDSTROM! Ever find the intern who molested you at the hospital ward during your commitment for attempted suicide? I know how you can find him. Go buy one of those AI machines we have all been waiting years for based on your premonition.

And as for you Paulos, you Jared wannabe, I've got news for your, your weight loss has NOT solved all of the problems you blamed it for. You are still ugly, dumb, and unmotivated. So, what do you do to solve these resident issues? You start taking juice. GOOD CALL. Nothing is better than a fat 19 year old dropout. Nothing, that is, except a fat BALD 19 year old dropout.

All this fucking thread needs is an asshole who takes 7 years to get an undergrad degree while attending school full time who uses the term grasshopper to make it fucking complete.

 

[Lao Tzu]

Broly Nordy, apparently I was not harsh enough to get my point across. Let me break it down, Son.

You are a bitter, unattractive, permanently celibate, reliant on anti-depressant, sociopath that has erotic fantasies of murdering entire families in a cold rage then fellating the dead male family members while wearing an XXXL Bikini in some perverse attempt to achieve the love your father never gave you when you were a child.

Half true, my reformed fatass with bullshit fantasies about getting into med school. Unlike your dad, my dad loved me enough to stick around.

I flame like retards fuck?

Thats what i said. Even a high school dropout can read. How quaint (please look up quaint in the dictionary before you reply to that).

At least me and the retards can get laid, how about you? I'm sure it's not too difficult with your winning personality, stunning good looks, and personable extrovert nature.

Yep. I will never get laid. I admit this upfront. Unlike you, my priorities are straight enough to know women are generally a dead end road. I dont spend my class time thinking of trying to fuck women who don't give a shit about me. i study in the hopes that it will help me get into grad school if the need presents itself.

With someone as fucked up as you, I could never run out of ammo.

This is probably true, but even with that fact playing heavily against me, my verbal skills have you eating my dick like a $20 prostitute (is that why you don't know yo' daddy)? You going to make fun of my ugliness again? How original.

Go do some more DNP in a fruitless effort to lose the bodyfat you lack the discipline to lose normally you pathetic, unmotivated Fatass.

Ah. I expect a dimwitted dropout to not be able to understand a principle those of us in the know call 'long range planning'. 95-99% of weight loss is regained within 5 years. You will be at 300 pounds again by the time you are 25, the odds of it not happening are 1 in 50.

Have fun fatass. due to the fact that i, unlike you, can resist peer pressure and EF's unscientific bullshit etiquette about diet & exercise i will not yo yo diet for the rest of my life. i will see you on the treadmills in 5 years, holding back tears as you run for hours and think of the twinkies you flushed down the toilet that moring because you were too stupid to learn how to take care of yourself in any long range way.

 

[Nathan]

Nordy's back in it with his systematic take-down of Paulos' verbal assault. Let's see if Paulos can live up to his reputation and dismantle Nordy's carefully orchestrated attack. I feel like the narrator to Wild Kingdom for some reason.

 

[Paulos]

Half true, my reformed fatass with bullshit fantasies about getting into med school. Unlike your dad, my dad loved me enough to stick around.

Better a reformed fatass than a permanent fatass. Your dad loved you enough to stick around? Clearly he did a stellar job. Any parent would be proud to have offspring that was reliant on medication to get through the day without killing themself and/or anyone else.

Yep. I will never get laid. I admit this upfront. Unlike you, my priorities are straight enough to know women are generally a dead end road. I dont spend my class time thinking of trying to fuck women who don't give a shit about me. i study in the hopes that it will help me get into grad school if the need presents itself.

I will actually agree with you on this one. If I were you I would not put any effort into women either, it is a dead end for you.

Spending time paying attention in a class like History is a waste of time when I can cram for three hours and pull a higher grade than 80% of the class.

This is probably true, but even with that fact playing heavily against me, my verbal skills have you eating my dick like a $20 prostitute (is that why you don't know yo' daddy)? You going to make fun of my ugliness again? How original.

If that were true it would be the first and only time your dick would have been in someones mouth without the use of a large amount of cash or Choroform.

No, I am not going to make fun of your ugliness again. I'm going to make fun of your fatness, you four eyed fattie.

Ah. I expect a dimwitted dropout to not be able to understand a principle those of us in the know call 'long range planning'. 95-99% of weight loss is regained within 5 years. You will be at 300 pounds again by the time you are 25, the odds of it not happening are 1 in 50.

I totally understand, Long Range thinking...right. DNP fits into that perfectly, it's not a quick fix to something you are too weak to do yourself.

Oh wait, yeah it is.

Guess what, in those five years the only way I'll be 300 pounds is if I gain so much LBM that I become immobile. Those 1 in 50 odds apply to someone like yourself who is pathetic and unmotivated. As for the rest of us that aren't too big of pussies to take the hard road, the chances of keeping something you've earned are much greater.

But hey, keep on with that DNP, I'm sure the yellow cum is worth the 2 pounds you lose because you can't diet for shit. (Not that said yellow cum is going to come into contact with anything other than your current issue of "Hot Black Dick" magazine.)

Have fun fatass. due to the fact that i, unlike you, can resist peer pressure and EF's unscientific bullshit etiquette about diet & exercise i will not yo yo diet for the rest of my life. i will see you on the treadmills in 5 years, holding back tears as you run for hours and think of the twinkies you flushed down the toilet that moring because you were too stupid to learn how to take care of yourself in any long range way.

Unscientific bullshit etiquette written by people who have some of the best bodies on earth. I will stick to their opinions over the opionion of a lonely, depressed loser like yourself.

I doubt you will see me at the gym, my gym doesn't offer Jazzercise so there is no reason for you to be there.

 

[Sebass67]

(Golfclaps)(Golfclaps)(Golfclaps)(Golfclaps)(Golfclaps)(Golfclaps)(Golfclaps)(Golfclaps)(Golfclaps)(Golfclaps)(Golfclaps)(Golfclaps)
This is too good.

 

[Mysterio]

Damn. what a thread!

 

[Sebass67]

All this fighting is making me feel like fighting too. Unfortunately...and fortunately for other members i won;t be on for much longer tonight...

 

[Lao Tzu]

So what if my bodyfat is 26%? i can tell from your old avatar that yours hovers around 16%. It used to be around 50%. What is the big deal? who outside of EF gives a shit if i am fatter than you? i also have a higher LBM, brag about that.

In the end, i can't blame you for being mad. I'd be mad too if my father didn't give a shit if i lived or died. Where is your father Paulos? he is probably in Kentucky living with his real family right now. He is probably playing with his kids. Not you, mind you, just the ones he gives 2 shits about. Whats that like Paulos, to sit alone in your room at night staring at the ceiling knowing that the first thing that went through your fathers mind when he found out your mother was pregnant was "how can i scrape together the $300 necessary to hire a doctor to hook a vacuum cleaner up to my wife's cooter to kill my son because he means less than nothing to me?". At least you have your fathers inability to handle finances & make a living wage. I guess that will have to be a substitute for his love.

If you want, you can live vicariously through my father & I. I go home next weekend to see my parents. My dad & I may go out to dinner & talk. Perhaps i can send you the reciept and keep it in your scrapbook, and you can look at it while you sit around alone at the end of the day, drinking vodka and fantasizing about what its like to have a father who gave a shit and a mother who wasn't nuttier than elephant crap. Perhaps you can listen to 'father of mine' by Everclear to add to the sentiment of the moment. I know i would. Even though your mom is one of the most spineless people alive (she can't even handle being fired) at least she had the courage to not have you end up as a science experiment in a laboratory or med school. If you are smart enough to get into med school and you ever find yourself disecting aborted fetuses, try not to think of the fact that that probably would have been you 20 years ago if your mom were as spineless then as she is now.

Yes i'm fat. Yes i'm ugly. Yes i have no luck with women, and yes i am lazy. But when my father found out my mom was pregnant his first response wasn't "how can i kill him because he isn't important". Or when that failed, it wasn't "how can i abandon him". It was "This is an amazing moment for me". It must have been nice. Too bad you'll never experience it. Maybe you should go to the video store & rent a movie if you want to see what a nice family is like. Instead of looking at the drama section or horror section, look for the big sign that says 'family'. The mom isn't nuts, the dad isn't gone. Think about that.

This will most likely be my last post on this thread. It is a runaround circle now, just rehasing the same weaknesses over & over. Its been fun to see someone as creative & willing to overstep boundries as i am. Your last post was very cutting, very personal (in a good way). Probably one of the best flames i've ever seen on EF. I hope there are no hard feelings.

 

[Mysterio]

OUCH!!! That post had to hurt. What makes it worse is there's nothing to say against that, since nord essentially flamed himself, so it would be futile to work against that.

Brutal flames here guys...

Darktooth your such a trouble maker...LOL!!!

 

[Paulos]

So what if my bodyfat is 26%? i can tell from your old avatar that yours hovers around 16%. It used to be around 50%. What is the big deal? who outside of EF gives a shit if i am fatter than you? i also have a higher LBM, brag about that.

In the end, i can't blame you for being mad. I'd be mad too if my father didn't give a shit if i lived or died. Where is your father Paulos? he is probably in Kentucky living with his real family right now. He is probably playing with his kids. Not you, mind you, just the ones he gives 2 shits about. Whats that like Paulos, to sit alone in your room at night staring at the ceiling knowing that the first thing that went through your fathers mind when he found out your mother was pregnant was "how can i scrape together the $300 necessary to hire a doctor to hook a vacuum cleaner up to my wife's cooter to kill my son because he means less than nothing to me?". At least you have your fathers inability to handle finances & make a living wage. I guess that will have to be a substitute for his love.

If you want, you can live vicariously through my father & I. I go home next weekend to see my parents. My dad & I may go out to dinner & talk. Perhaps i can send you the reciept and keep it in your scrapbook, and you can look at it while you sit around alone at the end of the day, drinking vodka and fantasizing about what its like to have a father who gave a shit and a mother who wasn't nuttier than elephant crap. Perhaps you can listen to 'father of mine' by Everclear to add to the sentiment of the moment. I know i would. Even though your mom is one of the most spineless people alive (she can't even handle being fired) at least she had the courage to not have you end up as a science experiment in a laboratory or med school. If you are smart enough to get into med school and you ever find yourself disecting aborted fetuses, try not to think of the fact that that probably would have been you 20 years ago if your mom were as spineless then as she is now.

Yes i'm fat. Yes i'm ugly. Yes i have no luck with women, and yes i am lazy. But when my father found out my mom was pregnant his first response wasn't "how can i kill him because he isn't important". Or when that failed, it wasn't "how can i abandon him". It was "This is an amazing moment for me". It must have been nice. Too bad you'll never experience it. Maybe you should go to the video store & rent a movie if you want to see what a nice family is like. Instead of looking at the drama section or horror section, look for the big sign that says 'family'. The mom isn't nuts, the dad isn't gone. Think about that.

This will most likely be my last post on this thread. It is a runaround circle now, just rehasing the same weaknesses over & over. Its been fun to see someone as creative & willing to overstep boundries as i am. Your last post was very cutting, very personal (in a good way). Probably one of the best flames i've ever seen on EF. I hope there are no hard feelings.

Golf Clap for a Valiant Attempt Broly Nordy, but rules state there was a 12 hour deadline on responses from the original post made by Nathan.

I have defeated you, Better luck next time.

P.S. It's all good, you already know that.