Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below Need some ideas to help wife lower her inhibitions. We have talked about a threesome often. Even have gone out to bars with that plan in mind but when it comes to chunch time she backs out . then on the way home she is mad for not doing it. we need some thing to lossen her up at the right time. so she can go thru with her fantasy. Alcohol makes her sleepy so to much of that does not work. any suggestions
One night uninhibited
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If the wife/gf needs more than the buzz that comes from a drink/two then I am thinking that a threesome isn't for her?
Often times fantasies should remain that way because once you cross the line, there is no going back.
May I ask what it is that brought you two to the conclusion that you need to invite a third party into your bed in order to *spice things up*?
Often times fantasies should remain that way because once you cross the line, there is no going back.
May I ask what it is that brought you two to the conclusion that you need to invite a third party into your bed in order to *spice things up*?
Mom in the 36 years as man and wife we have crossed many lines together. How many couples do you think marry at 17 and still get to say that. so we know each other very well. The best part of every fantasy is the pursuit of that fantasy and that swhat we are doing. I don't think she will ever do it but i do think she wants to get very close. maybe we pick up some one at the bar chat for a while a little flirting some teasing and maybe some fondeling is as far as it might go. The fun and fantasy will be playing the game.BIKINIMOM said:
*The_West*
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il have a threesome with you and your wife if you want
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sdever said:
Point well taken...
I just would hate for something to happen that neither one of you can take back.
With the exception of his first wife (that he married right out of the service) I am the first NON-swinging wife my Old Grump has married. I had also dabbled a bit in all kinda adult activities as a single woman after my divorce from my first husband so I know that this was *meh* at best for me and NOT preferential for a longterm committed situation. But that is ME and I don't judge. I was merely advising you on the experiences that my Old Grump had had for 20+ years while cautioning others AGAINST swinging.
After 36 years though I am thinkin that the two of you are beyond grown and know yourselves and one another well enough to partake if you so choose.
Better still, I will ask my Old Grump to take a look and see what advice he can offer you. To this day my Old Grump and I get approached constantly, matter of fact, used to creep me out because I wasn't looking for any sort of threesome situation, yet there it was ALL THE TIME.
Now I realize that it is just that the two of us are so much fun and are so laid back that these women just want to *capture a bit of the magic* we have. But sorry... I am too possessive over that magic. Maybe one day I will change that, but I don't see that happening any time soon.I know there are several members of couples who do swing on elite, though they don't always post up frequently... which is a shame really. Lotta people could benefit from the healthy exchanges about human sexuality.
Grumpy Old Man
Grumpy Old Biker Bastard
BIKINIMOM said:Point well taken...
I just would hate for something to happen that neither one of you can take back.
With the exception of his first wife (that he married right out of the service) I am the first NON-swinging wife my Old Grump has married. I had also dabbled a bit in all kinda adult activities as a single woman after my divorce from my first husband so I know that this was *meh* at best for me and NOT preferential for a longterm committed situation. But that is ME and I don't judge. I was merely advising you on the experiences that my Old Grump had had for 20+ years while cautioning others AGAINST swinging.
After 36 years though I am thinkin that the two of you are beyond grown and know yourselves and one another well enough to partake if you so choose.
Better still, I will ask my Old Grump to take a look and see what advice he can offer you. To this day my Old Grump and I get approached constantly, matter of fact, used to creep me out because I wasn't looking for any sort of threesome situation, yet there it was ALL THE TIME.
I know there are several members of couples who do swing on elite, though they don't always post up frequently... which is a shame really. Lotta people could benefit from the healthy exchanges about human sexuality.
Committed relationships that can handle a third party either are destroyed or can have fun.
If you have a woman that doesn't start the thing without you then leave it alone. It is not worth it!
I guess I may be misleading a little. We don't want to be swingers. And personally i don't want to go thru with a 3some. What we really want i believe is to go looking for one. It's kind of like when i was young I loved to go hunting but I never wanted to actually kill something it was more the trill of getting close eniought that i could have !!!
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sdever said:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh I see... so it is more about the thrill of the hunt.
Gotcha...
Well then isn't it the adrenaline rush you get from the titilation of the experience that is *this close* what you both are seeking?
Maybe going to a strip club and getting private dances might be enough to satisfy your fantasy?
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LOL This actually sounds like a pretty funny scenario...
Goodness I can see me doing stuff like that... heheheheheh Driving my husband nuts.
What is your wife inhibited by? What is she afraid of? Perhaps once she can verbalize/figure out what she fears most then you will either be able to continue the fantasy or just shift your focus someplace else.
Did you guys ever think about dabbling in online dating?
Goodness I can see me doing stuff like that... heheheheheh Driving my husband nuts.
What is your wife inhibited by? What is she afraid of? Perhaps once she can verbalize/figure out what she fears most then you will either be able to continue the fantasy or just shift your focus someplace else.
Did you guys ever think about dabbling in online dating?
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sdever said:
Hhhhhhhhhhhmmmmm LOL
Then what could the problem be? I suppose there is fear associated with crossing over from cyber to real time?
What is it that she is afraid of? I think once you guys get to the bottom of that fear you will be able to get on with it.
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sdever said:
I'm always happy to help.
Know that I am married to a man who IS old enough to be my dad. LOL So I can't take credit for everything I *seem* to know.I think that it is absolutely awesome that you still have a sex life that most young people would envy after all these years. Everyone that is <30 something thinks that your genitalia automatically falls off or something once you pass that age - heaven forbid you actually get to 40 and beyond! The fact that the two of you had made it thus far TOGETHER speaks volumes about your patience, wisdom and life experience not only as a couple, but as individuals.
There is SO MUCH that I am certain you and your lovely wife could help the entire board with and I would be pleased if you would stick around and share some more.
Perhaps the younger board members could help us remember what it was like when WE were young (the good memories and perhaps some of the memories that weren't so great <---- those are the ones that I feel are particularly helpful to us to guage how far we have come... in a GOOD WAY!) and those members of the board who are a weeee bit more senior can educate the rest on what types of physical and emotional pitfalls to avoid so that we can enjoy the sex we are having in the here and now sooner!!!
Goodness how I luuuuuuuuuuuv elite.
Mom nicely said but as we quickly approach the age of 55 we don't really like to hear the word senior mentioned in a sentance that includes us. We are by no means relationship experts but we are proud of our 36 years together much of which was great some of which was not but it was always good so we would just share two things. 1) we have done everything sexually together that two people can do to each other ,some we have done only once and some that we have done over a thousand times (love those BJ's) but the best sex we ever had was last night and i have a strong feeling that tonight will be even better. 2) when we fight ,and we do , we ask our selves whats the goal of this arguement and is it really important to win. 99.9% of the time we realize that this disagreement will not change our lives so who cares who wins so why fight .
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sdever said:
Senior... mature... you say tomaotoes and my husband says tomahtoe... Hhehehehee He is 57 so I get to use such verbiage.
Hell, his screen name is grumpy old man!! Believe it or not that was one of the things that drew me to him as we met online. After gobs of online dates I just had to send him an email telling him how hysterical I thought it was.
I am so glad that members like you are here to help us all along our journeys.
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sdever said:
So you are talking pharmaceuticals are ya?
Hmmmmmm I was reading something about an agent called Absynthe... not too knowledgable. Totally legal now, can get it in the liquor store or something...
Anybody else know about this stuff?
Short of smoking weed I don't know what else to tell you.
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sdever said:
Dunno what to tell you.
I know that Xanax makes me pass out... Maybe others will chime in.
H
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Drop her off at my house ill take it from here
This is just the time of year to do this, too.sdever said:
Take her to a place where reduced inhibitions are acceptable.
Something like this would be ideal:
http://www.freespiritgathering.org/fov/index.htm
sdever said:
Frankly I'm willing to bet hard money that any pagan sacred sexuality fire festival is a LOT more likely to get the old juices flowing than a place like that or Hedonism but who am I to say. I assume the place you guys went to was clothing optional and you could see or hear folks getting uh, friendly (by accident). You can practically trip over people having sex at some of these festivals.
You got your answer though, seriously. If you were in that environment and she froze then tell her to stop worrying about it. If she ever really wants to do it, she will, stone cold sober, drunk or whatever. Anything she takes to reduce her inhibitions that's stronger than alcohol or weed is just going to make her black out which basically defeats the entire purpose.
Look, 95% of the time fantasies do NOT live up to their expectations. Maybe at her heart she doesn't really want to involve another body in your bedroom.
Try Tantric sex, seriously. Way more interesting and enlightening, and it will do things to your relationship and sex life that you wouldn't have dreamed possible. Makes that mundane one night thrill stuff look like preschool.
BIKINIMOM said:So you are talking pharmaceuticals are ya?
Hmmmmmm I was reading something about an agent called Absynthe... not too knowledgable. Totally legal now, can get it in the liquor store or something...
Anybody else know about this stuff?
Short of smoking weed I don't know what else to tell you.
Okay, I had no idea that it was legal now. Is it?
BIKINIMOM said:So you are talking pharmaceuticals are ya?
Hmmmmmm I was reading something about an agent called Absynthe... not too knowledgable. Totally legal now, can get it in the liquor store or something...
Anybody else know about this stuff?
Short of smoking weed I don't know what else to tell you.
hey Mom that
St. George Absinthe Verte looks good Do you know how it is consumed ? do you mix it or sip it or suck it down. does it have a strong alcohol taste
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sdever said:
I saw an advertisement for it on a recent flight but my Old Grump knows more. I will get him to post up.
Grumpy Old Man
Grumpy Old Biker Bastard
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Could you whoop me up a potion or sumthin?musclemom said:
Frankly I'm willing to bet hard money that any pagan sacred sexuality fire festival is a LOT more likely to get the old juices flowing than a place like that or Hedonism but who am I to say. I assume the place you guys went to was clothing optional and you could see or hear folks getting uh, friendly (by accident). You can practically trip over people having sex at some of these festivals.
You got your answer though, seriously. If you were in that environment and she froze then tell her to stop worrying about it. If she ever really wants to do it, she will, stone cold sober, drunk or whatever. Anything she takes to reduce her inhibitions that's stronger than alcohol or weed is just going to make her black out which basically defeats the entire purpose.
Look, 95% of the time fantasies do NOT live up to their expectations. Maybe at her heart she doesn't really want to involve another body in your bedroom.
Try Tantric sex, seriously. Way more interesting and enlightening, and it will do things to your relationship and sex life that you wouldn't have dreamed possible. Makes that mundane one night thrill stuff look like preschool.
Strongbow
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What is a Pagan ? Might be a dumb question, what exactly do you beleive in? Im searching for the secret to life, thats why I ask?musclemom said:
Don't look at me. Pagans are usually getting slapped down for flying our freak flags, since we don't have any of those christian hang ups.
This is such a wrong thread to post this in ... whateverStrongbow said:
Okay, here's one definition of pagan that sort of fits me:
Paganism (from Latin paganus, meaning "country dweller, rustic") is a term which, from a Western perspective, has modern connotations of spiritual practices or beliefs of any folk religion, and of historical and contemporary polytheistic religions in particular.
In my case that means I'm a member of a Wiccan coven that is part of a syncratic quasi Western ceremonial magical tradition. Wicca is a nature-based religion based on pre-Christian beliefs that honors the earth as sacred and sees deity as both male and female, God and Goddess.
It's a nature based spirituality. Long story short, I dance around fires, believe in gods and goddesses, participate in rituals, and believe in reincarnation
*The_West*
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see, to me that sounds better than any amount of sittin on a cold hard pew singing the same old boring songs every week and believing in "god" and accepting atrocities as he is just "testing our faith"musclemom said:This is such a wrong thread to post this in ... whatever
Okay, here's one definition of pagan that sort of fits me:
Paganism (from Latin paganus, meaning "country dweller, rustic") is a term which, from a Western perspective, has modern connotations of spiritual practices or beliefs of any folk religion, and of historical and contemporary polytheistic religions in particular.
In my case that means I'm a member of a Wiccan coven that is part of a syncratic quasi Western ceremonial magical tradition. Wicca is a nature-based religion based on pre-Christian beliefs that honors the earth as sacred and sees deity as both male and female, God and Goddess.
It's a nature based spirituality. Long story short, I dance around fires, believe in gods and goddesses, participate in rituals, and believe in reincarnation
im not religious at all, but i find religion and the concept of it interesting (and if im honest, amusing at times)
i think i could happily go for some of that dancing around fires though.
how old were you when you found paganism?
Discovered the concepts, I was in my mid teens.*The_West* said:
Gave a name to the concepts and realized there are actually people out there doing this stuff? Mid to late 20s.
Actually started formally practicing two or so years ago and was dedicated to my coven last year.
Wicca is a very dynamic spiritual path. It's less about "Oh God Save Me." Or "Oh God I'm So Unworthy." and primarily about personal growth and responsibility. We revere the divinity within ourselves, and the divinity of the world and the Gods and Goddesses but we don't grovel to them.
Paganism/wicca/witchcraft theoretically has one law (because that was all they could basically agree on): Love is the Law, love under Will, an' it Harm None do What Thou Will [none also includes self].
I don't mind talking more about this subject but PM me, this forum and this thread is just sort of inappropriate
*The_West*
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^sent
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