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If he routinely assaults her, why hasn't she called the police?
Oak desperatly needs advice before i do something dumb
- Thread starter theoak01
- Start date
FarBeyondDriven
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How old are ya man? Get the slob to hit you first, then it will be all over, just take it to the street. Shit like thats uncool as hell. He needs to be bitch smacked. Hell, worried of going to jail, get someone else to do it while you have an alibi.
mattcanning99
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violence won't solve anything...have you considered reporting this?
Si|vio
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you should shut up and not do anything.
in 3 weeks when you two are broken up will you give her food and shelter? If he can hit her, he can easily kick her ass out because her dumb 17 year old boyfriend put his nose where it didn't belong.
if you absolutely want to do something, talk to HER about filling a report HERSELF, because when you two are through you might have done more harm than good by sticking your face up in everyone else business.
in 3 weeks when you two are broken up will you give her food and shelter? If he can hit her, he can easily kick her ass out because her dumb 17 year old boyfriend put his nose where it didn't belong.
if you absolutely want to do something, talk to HER about filling a report HERSELF, because when you two are through you might have done more harm than good by sticking your face up in everyone else business.
Zirakzigil
New member
Ok. If you get in a fight with him, over her, (or threaten him), it is very very unlikely that he will stop - he will continue to hit her and even do so to "get revenge" on you. DO NOT confront him - what, you think you'll slap him around a bit or threaten him and he'll suddenly stop hitting her? Hell no, it's going to continue.
The only possible solution is to contact the authorities. She is underage, and hitting her is child abuse. He doesn't hit her younger sisters? Well, wait 4 years and see what happens. I bet they'll get hit too.
Her sisters might get taken away. That's the risk you have to take. More likely he will do some time, if you've got proof. Try to videotape him in the act (you hide outside and tape through a window). When you do this, she must not provoke him through any physical means - only be in an argument.
Let's review. You can
(a) Threaten him or attack him.
(b) Have her go to the authorities.
(c) Do nothing.
If you do (a), you might get in trouble, and it is very very unlikely that he will stop. You might think (a) is the most manly option, but it is still a bad one. You can't protect her every second of every day. You can't protect her sisters in the future. Think about it - this is a guy who fucking BEATS his DAUGHTER. Do you think he's going to say "oh - shit, I better not do this any more, it's wrong" after you confront him? Hell no.
If you do (b), what is likely is the family will get put through some counseling. This may seem like a pussy way out, but it has a far higher likelihood of working than (a) does. If it continues, he will be arrested. Be sure you have evidence for (b), like video footage and/or bruises. If you take video footage, be 100% sure she is not threatening him physically - that wouldn't absolve him of blame, but it somewhat lessens his moral culpability. It might be that if you go this route they will no longer pay for her college education. So? I worked my way through college and she can too. It's a harder life, true, but the good that getting this man some help or taking him AWAY, would do, is far greater. She owes it to herself and to her sisters. Lastly, make HER go to the authorities. You don't want to meddle in this and get your feet dirty. You support her in every way possible, but you must make HER do the report.
If you do (c), it will continue. He doesn't hit her sisters now. Wait 4 years, especially once she is gone and not able to be the target any more.
I have tried to take a calm, rational look at this problem. I hope this has helped.
The only possible solution is to contact the authorities. She is underage, and hitting her is child abuse. He doesn't hit her younger sisters? Well, wait 4 years and see what happens. I bet they'll get hit too.
Her sisters might get taken away. That's the risk you have to take. More likely he will do some time, if you've got proof. Try to videotape him in the act (you hide outside and tape through a window). When you do this, she must not provoke him through any physical means - only be in an argument.
Let's review. You can
(a) Threaten him or attack him.
(b) Have her go to the authorities.
(c) Do nothing.
If you do (a), you might get in trouble, and it is very very unlikely that he will stop. You might think (a) is the most manly option, but it is still a bad one. You can't protect her every second of every day. You can't protect her sisters in the future. Think about it - this is a guy who fucking BEATS his DAUGHTER. Do you think he's going to say "oh - shit, I better not do this any more, it's wrong" after you confront him? Hell no.
If you do (b), what is likely is the family will get put through some counseling. This may seem like a pussy way out, but it has a far higher likelihood of working than (a) does. If it continues, he will be arrested. Be sure you have evidence for (b), like video footage and/or bruises. If you take video footage, be 100% sure she is not threatening him physically - that wouldn't absolve him of blame, but it somewhat lessens his moral culpability. It might be that if you go this route they will no longer pay for her college education. So? I worked my way through college and she can too. It's a harder life, true, but the good that getting this man some help or taking him AWAY, would do, is far greater. She owes it to herself and to her sisters. Lastly, make HER go to the authorities. You don't want to meddle in this and get your feet dirty. You support her in every way possible, but you must make HER do the report.
If you do (c), it will continue. He doesn't hit her sisters now. Wait 4 years, especially once she is gone and not able to be the target any more.
I have tried to take a calm, rational look at this problem. I hope this has helped.
SofaGeorge
New member
Oak, you handled it correctly by not putting him through a wall. It may have felt like the right thing to do, but the situation would have twisted around with her being told to never see you again - and then you wouldn't be able to help at all.
First, recognize that this isn't a new situation. This is the pattern of behavior that she has grown up with and adapted to. This is probably all she has known all her life. It sucks to put it this bluntly, but she is accustomed to a violent, abusive home. She doesn't know any different.
Second, the best assistance you can offer at this point is to get her working with a therapist. The psycological conditioning here goes years deep, and it is going to take a GOOD professional to get her to recognize that she has accepted an unacceptable situation.
Third, she is almost an adult. She may think she is dependant on her parents for financial support, but truthfully she isn't. She is going to need help to realize that it is better to get out from under that roof.
PM me if you want to talk on the phone... my dime.
First, recognize that this isn't a new situation. This is the pattern of behavior that she has grown up with and adapted to. This is probably all she has known all her life. It sucks to put it this bluntly, but she is accustomed to a violent, abusive home. She doesn't know any different.
Second, the best assistance you can offer at this point is to get her working with a therapist. The psycological conditioning here goes years deep, and it is going to take a GOOD professional to get her to recognize that she has accepted an unacceptable situation.
Third, she is almost an adult. She may think she is dependant on her parents for financial support, but truthfully she isn't. She is going to need help to realize that it is better to get out from under that roof.
PM me if you want to talk on the phone... my dime.
Satanic Goatslayer said:
Oh....... you must have forgotten his little "incident" a while back with another girl (or this same one) that he felt he had to "defend". Taking a road trip and attempting to beat down someone over a female.
You were encouraged to call the police and report that incident too and let them handle the guy involved. Yet you chose not to. Same advice goes here. At some point the authorities are GOING to get involved. You better hope it is not when it is AGAINST you.
The last go around, you claimed you COULD DO THE TIME involved as well. Motherfucker you crazy for giving up your freedom over some woman. You might have been a boxer and can hold your own against a 20 year old, but I got $50 that 350lb Tyrone is going to come out as Husband of the shower fight.
Where do you find these women? Motherfucker I couldn't find these fucked up situations if I ran an ad in the paper looking.
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