Not exactly sure why I am posting this

[BsC]

I'm not sure why I am posting this. I guess I am looking for encouragement, motivation, help, and training advice from all of you. I have weight trained on and off since I was about 14 yrs old, but never real seriously, although I did take it seriously for a few months at a time, and then slacked off. Ever since my wife died January of 2002, I have gone down-hill really bad. I tried to get back into training after she died, but my mind wasnt right. I just could not focus on what I needed to do. My mind was consumed with the image that I had of her when I found her dead when I got home from work that day (she committed suicide by gunshot to the head). Well, I got help and although I still deal with it in some way everday (who wouldn't?) I feel like I really need to get myself back into training again in a VERY SERIOUS MANNER, and this time I am definately focused. I need to not only do it for myself, but for my 2 yr old baby girl. I want to show her a healthy lifestyle for her to follow. When she is in school, I want her to be proud to point out to her friends that I am her daddy. Also, weight training is the only time I have ever really been happy with myself. I was always more confident and in better moods, and basically, I just felt like an all around better person. I want to be healthy and live and be there for my daughter for as long as I possibly can. I still have a pretty good build (thats what most people tell me anyway), but I know i can look better. My stats as of right now are as follows:

5'7"
260 lbs.
26% bodyfat (approx.)

waist-45" (47"at navel)
neck-19.5"
quads-29"
calves-18"
chest-48"
arms-18" (at bicep)
forearm-14.5"
wrist-8"

As you can see, I am a fat piece of shit right now, but that will come to end soon enough. I plan to follow the CKD diet and use the 5x5 weight training method for now, and do light cardio on days off. I would like to eventually get down to 210-220 lbs, while keeping as much muscle as i can (don't we all?). I plan to use a good multivitamin and drink the dreadful protein shakes everyday. I guess what I am asking; especially from some of you trainers that know if somebody has potential by just looking at their current stats and attitude, is do I really have any reasonable potential to have a nice physic? I have always been bulky my whole life (I guess thats not necissarily bad). Is it possible for me to slim down to my desired weight range by......lets say........January? I just want a good idea of what is possible if I set my mind to it........I do not want to set unrealistic goals for myself and lose confidence. I know that I will never be as built and powerful as alot of you guys on this forum (some of you are truly amazing!) but, I just want to be proud of myself again. I see so many people who try getting back into a routine, and they quit or drop out so soon......who knows what they could have done with their body and mind if they only stuck it out like they originally planned? Well, I don't want to be like that......I am tired of dealing with all of the "what if's" and "what could have been's" in my life. Life is to short for that. If anybody is interested, please drop a couple of lines to me, and I honestly do appreciate and will absorb any and all information that you give me.

damn...........sorry about the long-winded post.

 

[Backlash]

Great dude. Welcome to the board. Sounds like you are on track to do great things with your life.

 

[MULE1]

Get on it my man, Sorry about your loss. Pick up the pieces and go foreward. You've got a little one to set an example for...

If you need any help[

610-438-2902

Mike Nazareth Barbell
Pa. Chapter Pres. of the Metal Militia

 

[Zander1983]

I'm glad you posted that.

I'm inspired... Very, very moving.

 

[WalkingBeast]

Hey bro Sorry about the loss Sounds to me like you have the drive to do great things. The worse the experiences in your life the stronger they can make you. Just try to keep a good attitude towards life, personally I lose that often myself. The only thing that helps me is to focus on God and my lifting. I wish you and your daughter the best Stay strong

beast

 

[spatts]

Nail in my hand
From my Creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live...

You've been given one hell of a burden to bear. It will get lighter as you get stronger. Stick with us. We'll show you.

Welcome to the board.

 

[Toozee]

I am truly sorry for your loss.
You made the right choice in coming here.
Everyone here is more than glad to help... in more ways than one.

God bless
-2z-

 

[jeremys]

you've made a wise choice. we all help each other out in time of need

and yes, it sounds like you have potential and your goal is definitely possible

 

[PlatnumKowboy]

Welcome, you sound determined, thats awesome although taking pictures or jornaling your progress might help keep you motivated.

 

[The Red Dragon]

Sorry about your loss man. It's great to here that you've decided to start moving forward. Sounds like you know your stuff. Just stick around, whenever you need support do not hesistate to ask, we're all here to help each other out. Your goals are definately possible. A strong male-role model in a little girls life is a must. As you work out you might feel yourself feeling gradually better. Lifting certainly helped me through rough times.

 

[BsC]

Thank you all for your support and encouragement.........God knows I could use all of the encouragement that I can get right now. You all are a great bunch of people. It is a tough burden, and I won't lie, it IS a very tough job being a single parent, but I will not complain about it. God is testing me, and I plan on passing his test. I know that He will not give me more than I can bear. As I write this post, my little girl is at a peaceful sleep in my bed, and when I look at her as she sleeps, I find strength in myself like I have never felt before. I want to show her that when you make goals and set your mind to it.......then it can be done. This goes much deeper than getting shredded or being able to squat 1000 lbs.........it is about proving something to myself, its about strengthening my mind and spirit more than anything. Sometimes when I think about why my wife did what she did, or what the hell am I going to do, and get stressed out.......I simply look deep into my daughter's eyes, and it puts EVERYTHING into perspective. She inspires me to accept and take on every challenge that comes my way; and that is where I'm at now. I know what I have to do for the both of us, and just like any other challenge, I will find my strength in her and God, and train with fury and vengence against all the negative things and events in my life. I will not let her or myself down.

 

[BsC]

Well, here is my 5 x5 routine. Let me know what you all think about it. Keep in mind that I HAVE to train at home for obvious reasons.

Sunday-chest/calves

flat bp 5x5
incline db press 2x8-10
incline db flyes 2x8-10
standing calf raises 5x15
(seems like there is something missing)

monday-back/shoulders
military press 5x5
side laterals 2x8-10
dead lifts 5x5
shrugs 2x8-10
bent over rows 2x8-10
bent over laterals 2x8-10
(i am getting a lat machine and chin up bar next week)

tues-rest/cardio
wed-rest/cardio

thurs-biceps/triceps
close-grip bp 5x5
barbell curls 5x5
dips 2x8-10
incline db curls 2x8-10
overhead ext. 2x8-10
preacher curls 2x8-10

friday-legs/abs
squats 5x5
leg ext. 2x8-10
stiff legged dead lifts 2x8-10
leg curls 2x8-10
standing calf raises 2x8-10
weighted crunches 5x15

saturday-rest/cardio

can cardio include chasing a 2yr old around the house?....j/k

 

[spatts]

Diet?

...and yes chasing a 2 year old is cardio.

 

[trinity73]

Very sorry to hear of your loss. Life can be hard but you seem to have your priorities in order when it comes to lifting. Your mind set plays a huge role in training and it looks like your on the right track..The people here are awesome.They will help you and give you advice from every perspective..You have definately come to the right place for ENCOURAGEMENT. Good luck with your lifting. Keep us posted on your progress!

trinity

 

[Atomic Punk]

I know you will succeed with this, brother. It's an easy call really. You took the step of getting professional help with your depression, anxiety, or whatever other mental issues that were associated with the tragic death of your wife. That is a HUGE step towards recovery & happiness on your part(as well as for your little girl) because of the ludicrous, and hopefully dying social stigma, that a man who seeks help with these types of issues is somehow weak, which often results in that person trying to self-cure a medical problem on their own, which isn't possible. You did it though(sought help), and on your own for that matter. Alot of people would have wrecked their car 25 times, risked the safety of other people with children as well before they will get help, but at that point it is probably court-ordered. You're doing the right thing, which is almost always the hardest choice in how to deal with any given problem and why? For yourself & your daughter. You are doing everything possible to be the best parent to her, despite the rather large & overwhelming task that situation can at times become I'm sure. You want her to be proud of you, and basically want to be her hero, which is way cool brother. I have a son who would look up to me just because I'm his father, but you would(or rather you WILL) be surprised as to how kids look up to you because you lift. To him, at his age, I must look like the hulk. When his friends see me, they are in awe, which makes him proud to be my son. He respects me for it , and doesn't fuckup because he actually cares that I would be pissed or disappointed in him if he did fuck up. I mean, the other day we were in my truck, and got caught in a bad T-storm. The windshield started to fog up, he started to wipe it with his hands, and I kinda snapped at him saying not to do that. Not yelling, but just kindof short, just so he would stop doing it right away. Anyhow, he was asking me for a 1/2-hour after that if I was mad at him. Anyhow, I'm telling you bro, you will be her hero if you can get yourself back into the shape that will make you happy. If she can see you sucking it up, working hard, being dedicated, and doing the right thing, it will rub off on her I GUARANTEE it! Hey, I'm sure you're her hero as it is now, but the fact that you want to be even more makes you my friggin hero...lol! and will earn you even more of her admiration & respect, which I think kids lack towards their parents these days. I have seen kids my sons age telling their folks to "shutup". I think I'd have a stroke if my son ever said that to me. He is a very respectfull boy, and i know that the way I look, and the things I have done to accomplish that look, has alot to do with his respect towards me.

Anyhow, it is more than admirable the mindset you are in, and the goals you are seeking to accomplish after having gone through such a mentally taxing event such as the suicide of ones own wife. Well bro, I personally consider it a priviledge just to have gotten to know the tyoe of person you are simply by reading this Thread. It will be the same having you here as a member for all who you associate with as well I'm sure.

Take a peek at some of "spatts" video links in the stickies at the top of this page. There are some great exersises there. I also had a 3-days/week (M, W, & F) Strength/Mass program I liked, that I will try to dig up & post the link.

Good luck with it bro. Peace

 

[Atomic Punk]

Here it is: Links on the left-hand side.

http://www.pinsonsfitness.com/size_strength.html

 

[pwr_machine]

Welcome to the boards. Soon, you'll be overwhelmed and consumed by the amount of information here.

You may not be able to see it, but you are an inspiration to us. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world to witness success. Definately keep us posted on the goals you have set for yourself.

 

[Zander1983]

You may not be able to see it, but you are an inspiration to us. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world to witness success.

You're right. I think we've witnessed success already. I don't think I've read anything more inspirational on these boards, and that does say a lot.

 

[WalkingBeast]

Definately an inspiration

 

[DBCooper]

Doing this for yourself and your daughter are the best reasons possible, starting out I would go with a strength building routine that fits you and a high protein diet with maybe light cardio like walking in the mornings to shed the fat faster. Good luck all the info is on or near this site.

 

[Backlash]

5x5 looks good man. My only comment is that I might switch the days around a bit, cause doing shoulder day after chest day is tough - your shoulders will probably still be worn out.

 

[gonelifting]

You have inspired everyone reading this thread. I wish you luck. You`ve come to the right place. Just do alot of reading.

Thank You for the inspiration


You`ve said you were going to do a CKD, I don`t think that will give you enough energy for the 5x5 you`re planning on. Someone else more knowlegable can answer more directly I think, but you`re definately going in the right direction.

 

[t3c]

welcome to the board

good luck

 

[BsC]

Wow, thanks for all the feeback and encouragment. I didn't expect so much help and encouragement to be honest with you. I really do appreciate it. I am glad that I inspired all of you to keep up your training. Maybe that is just part of the plan in my life that has been layed out before me. Everything happens for a reason, so maybe my story will help all of you to stay focused and motivated in your life, wheather its getting a new PR in a deadlift or raising a decent family and noticing just how precious life really is. It really is a never ending circle; we are all here for each other in some way.

As far as my diet goes, I plan to follow a CKD outline. I have my CKD parameters printed out, and I am in the process of getting it lined out so I can go to the store. I generally do not respond very well to low carb diets, meaning that I am very moody, tired, and its hard to focus (my job requires alot of focus in my behalf). So I will give it my very best shot, and if the low carbs are just too much for me to handle, I will switch to a 33/33/33 diet and up the intensity and/or cardio. My daughter definately does not need a moody daddy; SHE is moody enough for the both of us...LOL. I plan to have Saturdays as my refeed days and use the parameters that I have printed out for a 24 hr carb up with hi-GI carbs. The hardest part is trying to eat 6 meals/day. My job is so damn busy, and it really is hard to make the time to eat; hell I am lucky if I even get to take a lunch break......I'm not being sarcastic either; its the God-honest truth. But if it means taking a cold chicken breast and a protein drink and flax oil to the restroom with me and scarfing it down real quick, then that is what I will do. Once again, thanks for all of your advice and motivation, and I will try to post my goals and and success in my quest to better myself to share with you all.

 

[BsC]

5x5 looks good man. My only comment is that I might switch the days around a bit, cause doing shoulder day after chest day is tough - your shoulders will probably still be worn out.

yeah, I think you are right. Thanks.

how is this:

sun-legs/abs
mon-chest(any ideas what else i can add to this?....it just seems like its not enough work)
tues-same
wed-same
thurs-back/shoulders
fri-bicep/tricep/calves
sat-same

 

[overhead]

If you follow CKD and find that you have little energy for workouts after a couple of weeks make sure you are eating enough calories everyday. I found that the fat and protein were making me *feel* like I was eating more than I was. Another thing you can do is use a two day carb up instead of one, or do a one or two hour carb up for an hour or so mid week post workout. Or, even up the carbs slowly until you find you can function.

 

[longarms]

I'm glad I got to read this today.
You will indeed get good advice on lifting, lifestyle & nutrition here. There are still good folks in the world who can give you a hand when you need it. We all have naysayers, but they aren't the one's we're trying to impress. As the father of 2 teenage girls, I can tell you that you're in for a ride, but it's gonna be worth it. Raise them right, & you'll be proud of them, & they will be proud of you, too.
I have met some new friends here in the last few months myself. Judging from the responses so far, I'd say they are strong in character & mind, as well as in body. I look forward to logging on each day, just to see what's happening with everyone. You'll find out very quickly who knows what they're talking about, & it's all first hand, real life experience, not some exercise theorist writing for a living. There are some world champs & record holders who'll tell you how it is. We'll give you a slap on the back when you surpass your personal goals, & kick you in the butt when you're slackin'. That's why you'll like it here.
After what you've already gone through, the rest is gravy. Oh, it won't be easy, but nothing worth having ever is. Keep the faith.

Brothers in iron,
Rick

 

[Backlash]

I added grip and forearm work to chest day since it is pretty short. Wrist rollers, wrist curls, static holds, grippers, etc.

 

[BsC]

I added grip and forearm work to chest day since it is pretty short. Wrist rollers, wrist curls, static holds, grippers, etc.

Thanks, thats a very good idea.
Well, I will begin my 1st of VERY MANY workout sessions in about 30 minutes, wish me luck.

btw, I do have a small pic of my daughter and I in my picture gallery if anybody was interested in checking it out.

Once again, thank you very much everybody!

 

[BsC]

UPDATE:

i did legs on sunday; got winded and dry-heaved a little......MAN, IT FELT GREAT!
i did chest/forearms yesterday. kind of embarrassing being this weak, but I will get stronger.
today i can hardly move because of doing squats sunday, especially when i got to sit down and when i go to get up. My little girl thinks something is wrong with me, because sometimes I yell in pain when i stand up, but she pats me on the back and says "are you ok, daddy" and hugs me.........makes all the pain disappear for a moment. The diet is going good so far. I'm staying about 300 cals below maintanence right now with mainly egg whites, REAL ham, tuna, chicken and protein drinks, and alot of cheddar cheese. So, hopefully i can make until refeed time on saturday.

 

[lucidblue]

Welcome. I'm sorry for your loss... working out is a great way improve your state of mind. You seem really motivated to move forward and to be healthy for your daughter. Best of luck to you. As you can already see you will get a lot of encouragement, motivation and help on this board!