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not being able to get pregnant

*ebony*

*ebony*

New member
not me.lol

at least i hope i wont have that problem.:(

this morning i found out a friend of mine has been trying for quit a while to have a baby and unable to get pregnant. I was so sad for her. bummed out my whole day. fuk, that would suck a whole lot to finally be ready for kids and find out you cant.
 
yea,:(

just took it for granted that i would have babies someday, what if i cant even get preggo. damn, not sure i could handle that.



been thinking about it all day.lol not really :(
 
my sister thought she could nt have kids, she tryed for years ,then one day she told us she was preg,i was over the moon for her ,finger cross for your friend . It might just happen some day .
 
Oh darn, I was hoping it was you> I was going to offer to assist you with that..:bigkiss:
 
it took $50,000, an icsi procedure and a little asian embryologist to knock my wife up the first time (with our twin girls)...then, i did it all by myself at 40 y/o (yay!!! i'm 40 and fertile!!! ftw????) and we got our son.

she needs to go to the best fertility program she can find (we went to UPMC Magee...they could impregnate a rock).

i've posted up about this stuff before (all the trials and tribulations and costs and etc.).
 
I'm very fertile, so I need to be careful!
In the Naturopathic clinic I apprentice at, the ND's speciality is infertility. So far, she's not had one of her patients not get preggies and go to full term (including her secretary who for 15 yrs could not get preggies). My ex's sister in law was also able to get preggies and go to term (with two kids) by going the naturopathic route.
Have your friend find an ND who specializes in infertility
 
All she needs to do is say she doesn't think she's ready for kids and to have drunk sex. Works all over the world.
 
*ebony* said:
not me.lol

at least i hope i wont have that problem.:(

this morning i found out a friend of mine has been trying for quit a while to have a baby and unable to get pregnant. I was so sad for her. bummed out my whole day. fuk, that would suck a whole lot to finally be ready for kids and find out you cant.
Click to expand...


I've always been on the edge about whether or not I want kids (that I actually gave birth to). Not because I don't love children....I do. But for various reasons it's been a question mark for me. that said, if I had the option taken away....I think I'd be devestated.
 
I never worried about that but then my soon to be wifey asked me that same thing. Scary thought.

I've smoked enough weed to kill a small rhinoceros so that kinda makes me think a bit on it as well.

Not really worth stressing over though until you actually try for 6 months and nuttin happens.
 
A close friend of mine wanted lots of kids but she had cancer in her lady parts at 27 yrs old and can't have kids anymore. Sad. All she ever talked about was having babies.
 
mrplunkey said:
You're just wanting to explore surgical options!

Barry warned me about you.
Click to expand...

I have a hilarious story about someone I referred to a REI doc whom I was sure wouldn't get pregnant without IVF who hit the jackpot with the first round of insemination. Good times.
 
calveless wonder said:
paging Dr. Dickpants
Click to expand...

dickpants.jpg
 
who cares if you can't have your own baby- just adopt one if you really want one that bad. there's a lot of kids out there who would love a family to choose them , instead of the parents trying and trying to have their own little genetic experiment.
 
trex74 said:
who cares if you can't have your own baby- just adopt one if you really want one that bad. there's a lot of kids out there who would love a family to choose them , instead of the parents trying and trying to have their own little genetic experiment.
Click to expand...

because maybe they don't want somebody else's cum stain of a gene pool.

miss me? ;)
 
*ebony* said:
not me.lol

at least i hope i wont have that problem.:(

this morning i found out a friend of mine has been trying for quit a while to have a baby and unable to get pregnant. I was so sad for her. bummed out my whole day. fuk, that would suck a whole lot to finally be ready for kids and find out you cant.
Click to expand...

ask her to start taking some pct (it's not just for bodybuilders!). clomid is okay but you get very moody. take lestrole (sp?) for 3-4 days 50mg a day, and you should get pregnant within a few months.

c
 
trex74 said:
who cares if you can't have your own baby- just adopt one if you really want one that bad. there's a lot of kids out there who would love a family to choose them , instead of the parents trying and trying to have their own little genetic experiment.
Click to expand...

Good point but the "who cares" part seems a little harsh.
 
chris302001 said:
because maybe they don't want somebody else's cum stain of a gene pool.
Click to expand...


THIS. I just can't get past the not knowing any of the background. What if the parents were stupid? What if they didn't have an athletic bone in their bodies? Let alone the serious health issues that are strongly influenced by genetics. I just couldn't gamble on investing that kind of time/energy/emotion into a kid destined to be a dud.
 
canadianhitman said:
THIS. I just can't get past the not knowing any of the background. What if the parents were stupid? What if they didn't have an athletic bone in their bodies? Let alone the serious health issues that are strongly influenced by genetics. I just couldn't gamble on investing that kind of time/energy/emotion into a kid destined to be a dud.
Click to expand...


wow...just...wow


and if your own kid happens to have every negative gene you and your partner have?? then what?? you trade em in somewhere?
 
shirlene29 said:
wow...just...wow


and if your own kid happens to have every negative gene you and your partner have?? then what?? you trade em in somewhere?
Click to expand...



You can screen out the blatantly obvious bad traits by being a little bit selective when choosing a partner. And personally, if I had terrible genetics and I knew it, I'd do the right thing and not have any children.
 
canadianhitman said:
You can screen out the blatantly obvious bad traits by being a little bit selective when choosing a partner. And personally, if I had terrible genetics and I knew it, I'd do the right thing and not have any children.
Click to expand...

lol the view is good from the cheap seats huh bro. I guarantee you wouldnt be so "gracious" as to abstain from having children simply because you think your own genes are bad. no ones ever took that position and no one ever will because if you end up being "that guy" you never think you are that guy and can always find some sort of redeeming qualities or have hope etc.
 
canadianhitman said:
THIS. I just can't get past the not knowing any of the background. What if the parents were stupid? What if they didn't have an athletic bone in their bodies? Let alone the serious health issues that are strongly influenced by genetics. I just couldn't gamble on investing that kind of time/energy/emotion into a kid destined to be a dud.
Click to expand...

i would have said it a little less bluntly but, yes, i kind of agree with you...back when my wife and i were having fertility issues, we talked about adopting...neither of us had any interest in it...and...my wife is from a family that has two adopted kids...genetics play a big role in who you become (or at least who you are most likely to have the potential to become), it's an inescapable fact...my wife's adopted brother is just a peach of a human being...her adopted sister is an unhappy, fucked up, asshole...same thing with my adopted cousins...the boy is a peach...the girl is fuggin' nuts...we wanted our own kids, with our own fucked-up genes...at least we know our tedencies and weaknesses...sometimes the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know.
 
well im pretty selfish and want my own kids. I dont think adoption is a bad option, but i don't know if i'll ever do that.
 
To each their own, I am probably too late to have kids, so I will probably adopt if I eventually want one... I am not very motherly, so who knows if that will happen...I am kind of afraid of the changing body part of it all...I can't even handle a ten pound weight gain without getting weird about it. Oh jeez:(
 
canadianhitman said:
THIS. I just can't get past the not knowing any of the background. What if the parents were stupid? What if they didn't have an athletic bone in their bodies? Let alone the serious health issues that are strongly influenced by genetics. I just couldn't gamble on investing that kind of time/energy/emotion into a kid destined to be a dud.
Click to expand...
On a positive note you can blame the genetics for your adopted child's failures instead of admitting you are a failure as a parent...... ;)

I'm with T-rex, I'm not very motherly but might adopt, there are things of adoption that kinda suck, breaking it to them, having them accept it, having them at some point rebel and saying you're not their real parent, them wanting to meet their biological parents or origins of their culture or where they came from, etc so adopting isnt easy either and dont get me started on adopting and then having your own pregnancy/ kid, yikes!

The way I see it adopting means they dont carry my blood or genes, but I'm giving a chance to a kid who is already in this world, might as well help one here instead of just making a new one...... but in call fairness I kinda hate the divided world we live in now a days and that's one of the many reasons I dont want kids....
 
nangiggles said:
On a positive note you can blame the genetics for your adopted child's failures instead of admitting you are a failure as a parent...... ;)

I'm with T-rex, I'm not very motherly but might adopt, there are things of adoption that kinda suck, breaking it to them, having them accept it, having them at some point rebel and saying you're not their real parent, them wanting to meet their biological parents or origins of their culture or where they came from, etc so adopting isnt easy either and dont get me started on adopting and then having your own pregnancy/ kid, yikes!

The way I see it adopting means they dont carry my blood or genes, but I'm giving a chance to a kid who is already in this world, might as well help one here instead of just making a new one...... but in call fairness I kinda hate the divided world we live in now a days and that's one of the many reasons I dont want kids....
Click to expand...

I have also just thought about being a foster parent, if I passed all their requirements. I read a story about a young girl who was a teenager, who had no parents, and who just wanted a stable home life so she could go to school. It kind of made me think about it- how it would be nice to give someone a break in life like I could have used when I was younger and on my own.
 
trex74 said:
I have also just thought about being a foster parent, if I passed all their requirements. I read a story about a young girl who was a teenager, who had no parents, and who just wanted a stable home life so she could go to school. It kind of made me think about it- how it would be nice to give someone a break in life like I could have used when I was younger and on my own.
Click to expand...

I worked in Child Welfare for 13 yrs. Don't be a foster parent.
 
Smurfy said:
I worked in Child Welfare for 13 yrs. Don't be a foster parent.
Click to expand...

Wait ... I may have found my angle to living on Sugar's leg and catching up on soap operas.

What kind of gobmint check accompanies said foster duties.
 
Smurfy said:
I worked in Child Welfare for 13 yrs. Don't be a foster parent.
Click to expand...

Someone has to do it...better that it's people who care than someone just trying to get a check. It's not easy, there is risk involved, but you have a chance to turn a child's life around. My brother and his wife fostered two girls for three years (they eventually went back to their mother) after signing on specifically to take on hard to place children. There were all kinds of hardships involved but they don't regret it at all.
 
nefertiti said:
Someone has to do it...better that it's people who care than someone just trying to get a check. It's not easy, there is risk involved, but you have a chance to turn a child's life around. My brother and his wife fostered two girls for three years (they eventually went back to their mother) after signing on specifically to take on hard to place children. There were all kinds of hardships involved but they don't regret it at all.
Click to expand...

The systems is broken:

  • One of every 10 foster children stays in foster care longer than seven years
  • Nearly half of foster kids in the U.S. become homeless when they turn 18
  • Children in foster care experience high rates of child abuse, emotional deprivation, and physical neglect

Foster care - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
 
PICK3 said:
The systems is broken:

  • One of every 10 foster children stays in foster care longer than seven years
  • Nearly half of foster kids in the U.S. become homeless when they turn 18
  • Children in foster care experience high rates of child abuse, emotional deprivation, and physical neglect

Foster care - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Click to expand...

My point remains the same. Someone has to do it. Better someone decent than someone looking for a payout.
 
nefertiti said:
My point remains the same. Someone has to do it. Better someone decent than someone looking for a payout.
Click to expand...

My point was that if the screening process was more selective, even if they compensated caring families more robustly, in the long run "the system" would pay less.
 
PICK3 said:
My point was that if the screening process was more selective, even if they compensated caring families more robustly, in the long run "the system" would pay less.
Click to expand...


Foster kids need homes. If the system sucks, it sucks. People who are willing to give time, money and love to those kids shouldn't be deterred. Those kids need people who are going to be willing to deal with a BS system on their behalf.
 
PICK3 said:
My point was that if the screening process was more selective, even if they compensated caring families more robustly, in the long run "the system" would pay less.
Click to expand...

That makes sense to me as well. Raise the standards and raise the pay. I wonder how many qualified families simply can't handle the additional financial burden.
 
I didn't actually realize they paid you- maybe they don't here?
 
trex74 said:
how come?
Click to expand...

OK maybe I should have worded my response differently. I would never do it, knowing what I know. But I'm already tainted by what I've seen. The chances of saving someone are rather slim, instead, there's frustration (at the kids, at the system) and little reward. But I think Nef has a point. Someone needs to do it and if you're going into it with a good heart, then give it a shot. Yes, here they do pay you, but it's minimal - like you get paid most for a teenager, and still it's only like 350-400 a month.
 
PICK3 said:
There are little unclaimed bastards that are already in this world that need unconditional love.

You are knot worthy of them.
Click to expand...

agreed.

if you think having kids is an extension of your positive qualities, you're in for a huge disappointment.
 
Smurfy said:
OK maybe I should have worded my response differently. I would never do it, knowing what I know. But I'm already tainted by what I've seen. The chances of saving someone are rather slim, instead, there's frustration (at the kids, at the system) and little reward. But I think Nef has a point. Someone needs to do it and if you're going into it with a good heart, then give it a shot. Yes, here they do pay you, but it's minimal - like you get paid most for a teenager, and still it's only like 350-400 a month.
Click to expand...

no doubt tainted by reality of what in most cases actually happens.

You have to be somewhat selfless to be a parent.

Welfare system here encourages some to have more kids for financial compensation.

Messed up.
 
BBR100 said:
no doubt tainted by reality of what in most cases actually happens.

You have to be somewhat selfless to be a parent.

Welfare system here encourages some to have more kids for financial compensation.

Messed up.
Click to expand...


I think thats how the welfare system rolls everywhere..its really sad

here foster kids compensation is rather high but I would imagine cost of living is a factor
I'd never do it though, I don't have the temperment for it and know of one family's lives that were absolutely destroyed by a pair of foster kids ..these kids up until that point had been brought up knowing how to bilk the system and used it to their fullest capacity
everyone lost there
really sad

closests I had come was taking in my ex husbands niece ( I regard her as my niece still) because she was completely at odds with her parents and getting into serious trouble

she raised hell at my house too but I was able to manage it a little better than her parents did because I was less impassioned and had local law enforcement on my side.


but yeah, the system sucks and I have zero idea for solutions to its problems
 
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