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Nicknames at the gym?
- Thread starter argent
- Start date
Moderate_THIS
New member
We got a HighIntensity and Poyeboy at my gym
Boulder257
New member
I have a couple of people that I see on a regular basis that I have a name to.
randyjones
New member
everyone calls me fag.
Moderate_THIS
New member
randyjones said:
Since this isn't your gym, we'll just call you "love"
PIGEON-RAT
New member
not just at the gym bor. i have names for people i see around campus or on the streets every day. even when i find out someone's real name, it just doesn't replace the nickname in my head.
"The Beast" Its on the back window of my car and tatted on my forearm also. Its also the name of a weight gainer I took for a few years with real good results. Not that store bought shit.
There's one I call "Birdman" because he's skinny, has a long white ponytail, and a nose like a toucan's beak. He paces back and forth between sets, and his head bobs like a pigeon's when he walks. He's been doing the same weights and reps for seven years.
One I call "Fitness Boy" is an airline pilot with no sense of humor at all. His upper body is decent, but the only leg work he ever does is extended running on the treadmill.
Crew of wiggers I call "Icy Hot Stuntaz" for obvious reasons. "Jethro Mullet" should be obvious too. There's a gold-toothed-set group that I call "The Crackhouse Gang." Fat guy with 16" arms who always rolls up the sleeves of his t-shirt is "Pipes." He must iron the cuff on his shirts to get it to stay up like that.
One fellow who NEEDS a nickname, but I haven't thought of a good one. For the seven years I've been going to this gym, he doesn't appear to have changed. He's about 5'6", dumpy accountant-looking dude with a Moe Howard bowl haircut and an unconvincing Grecian Formula 16 job, always stays in the Cybex machines area and does ballistic sets on the rotary torso machine, and does the girly machines like the adductor/abductors and butt-blaster. He always wears tank tops to show off his ghost-white 12" arms and shoulders. Drives a Kia.
One I call "Fitness Boy" is an airline pilot with no sense of humor at all. His upper body is decent, but the only leg work he ever does is extended running on the treadmill.
Crew of wiggers I call "Icy Hot Stuntaz" for obvious reasons. "Jethro Mullet" should be obvious too. There's a gold-toothed-set group that I call "The Crackhouse Gang." Fat guy with 16" arms who always rolls up the sleeves of his t-shirt is "Pipes." He must iron the cuff on his shirts to get it to stay up like that.
One fellow who NEEDS a nickname, but I haven't thought of a good one. For the seven years I've been going to this gym, he doesn't appear to have changed. He's about 5'6", dumpy accountant-looking dude with a Moe Howard bowl haircut and an unconvincing Grecian Formula 16 job, always stays in the Cybex machines area and does ballistic sets on the rotary torso machine, and does the girly machines like the adductor/abductors and butt-blaster. He always wears tank tops to show off his ghost-white 12" arms and shoulders. Drives a Kia.
A
Apöllo
Guest
They call me, "Big Daddy Pain" and by they I mean myself.
Lift Chief
New member
I dont have any special names for people but theres one everyone calls me:
huge buff stacked jacked own artist... its kind of annoying sometimes.
huge buff stacked jacked own artist... its kind of annoying sometimes.
Moderate_THIS
New member
PoyeBoy said:
Nothing. I mean we have a HiIntensity and Plornive at my gym
big_bad_buff
New member
I call the owner "george" and everyone else that works there "mods" and i ask every girl that walks in the door to show me her tits. I dont workout, just like to hangout at the gym and put people down and take showers so people can see my 10" cock
Bullit said:
I kid you not, this moron wears that. And get this, my buddy comes running out of the locker room laughing his balls off one day. He says; "Check this out, I come walking around the corner from the bathroom and Mr. Mirrors is changing into a gold studded yellow thong. I laughed in his face and walked out".
He's a fucking queen stuck in a males body.
This whole thread made me giggle.
I love half rep. lol
Not in a gay way cause he`s not my type, anymore. I just love the name.
I love half rep. lol
Not in a gay way cause he`s not my type, anymore. I just love the name.
J
jenscats5
Guest
My eyes are tearing cuz I'm laughing so much about this thread....
I've got "Big Dude" cuz he's the only big weightlifter guy we have....
There's the "gay couple" cuz they are 2 gay men who are always in my way....
There's the "Fine YOung Cannibals" guy cuz he looks like the lead singer....
"Tan Surfer Guy" is a overly tan, bleached hair 50 yo guy with a big gut trying to be cool....
"Runner Girl" cuz she always runs to & from the gym & when she gets there, she runs on the treadmill, nothing else....
I've got "Big Dude" cuz he's the only big weightlifter guy we have....
There's the "gay couple" cuz they are 2 gay men who are always in my way....
There's the "Fine YOung Cannibals" guy cuz he looks like the lead singer....
"Tan Surfer Guy" is a overly tan, bleached hair 50 yo guy with a big gut trying to be cool....
"Runner Girl" cuz she always runs to & from the gym & when she gets there, she runs on the treadmill, nothing else....
supersizeme
New member
Bullit said:
omg i thought we were cool
Beachbum1546
New member
i get called "arnold". mostly for the fact that i know everything about him and i am always talking about him and that i want to be a bodybuilder. i call one guy in the gym "twinkie" cuz he's a pussy ass bitch. i call it to his face, he doesnt seem to mind.
Synpax
Well-known member
I have been doing this since college. Just making up little nic names in my head for people. Some of them aren't all that special though.
One guy is CSX because he always wears a CSX t-shirt.
There is another guy I call I-Pod because he always is walking around with one of those things and looks really gay. Doesn't lift much weight.
One really cute woman with a big ring is 'married.'
There's also a 'half-rep' guy who does a bunch of flat benches only half way or less.
One unattractive girl who always has a trainer with her is 'goofy' because she looks kind of funny but seems to have a lot of cash to blow on stupid trainers.
Another guy who looks like crap and is always walking around with a gallon water jug and always acting like he knows everyone and is all cool and everything is 'phony.' He doesn't seem to lift much but is always wandering around with that water jug. He isn't cut at all, so it's hard to tell fat from muscle.
Then there is 'Yuri'. An obviously Slavic guy who is the only one who does serious deadlifts and squats other than me. He stinks like hell like he doesn't bathe. Usually quiet quiet. Never see him anywhere but the power cage.
There are others as well. I've been going there a year now so and am here inspired to continue handing out names and will try to be more creative.
When I was a total frail wimp I use to go to a Golds a long time ago and had no clue. There were these HUGE black guys there and I referred to them in my head as 'the Dreadnaughts'.
One guy is CSX because he always wears a CSX t-shirt.
There is another guy I call I-Pod because he always is walking around with one of those things and looks really gay. Doesn't lift much weight.
One really cute woman with a big ring is 'married.'
There's also a 'half-rep' guy who does a bunch of flat benches only half way or less.
One unattractive girl who always has a trainer with her is 'goofy' because she looks kind of funny but seems to have a lot of cash to blow on stupid trainers.
Another guy who looks like crap and is always walking around with a gallon water jug and always acting like he knows everyone and is all cool and everything is 'phony.' He doesn't seem to lift much but is always wandering around with that water jug. He isn't cut at all, so it's hard to tell fat from muscle.
Then there is 'Yuri'. An obviously Slavic guy who is the only one who does serious deadlifts and squats other than me. He stinks like hell like he doesn't bathe. Usually quiet quiet. Never see him anywhere but the power cage.
There are others as well. I've been going there a year now so and am here inspired to continue handing out names and will try to be more creative.
When I was a total frail wimp I use to go to a Golds a long time ago and had no clue. There were these HUGE black guys there and I referred to them in my head as 'the Dreadnaughts'.
GoldenDelicious
New member
yeah we have "miss man" (a woman who is fucken jacked up)
then theres the other "miss man", who is a mate of mine just doenst grow
then theres "eaten chicken" because he is so skinny that is what he looks like
the rest are all called "wanker"
then theres the other "miss man", who is a mate of mine just doenst grow
then theres "eaten chicken" because he is so skinny that is what he looks like
the rest are all called "wanker"
We have and the list is gonna be awhile hehe.
White Billy Blanks- He is used to be in the gym teaching some lame ass kung fu type self defense class basically looked like some tai-bo shit hence the name.
Train Wreak- This guy walks around with the worst case of ils I have ever seen in my life like he has a couple watermelons under his arms at all times, he does this stupid hand rub thing where he puts his hands together in front of him and does this upper body flex while rubbing them together. He is about 5'4 130lbs and i'm not kidding when he turns sideways he almost disappears. Damn I hate that guy.
The Cable Guy- This is train wreaks brother/cousin who is never anywhere but the cable machines, he will hog those bitches for 2 hours straight doing all kinds of asnine shit some arm flapping motion that I think is supposed to work his chest, shoulders, stupidity level fuckall if I know he also walks around with a look on his face like he's gonna beat Mike tysons ass, he is about train wreaks size 5'4 cept he might push 140 they both walk around in tank tops damn I hate this guy to.
Short Bus- This fucker smells like a goat herder and never does anything but decline bench, he lifts pretty decent weight on decline like I seen him push 315 for 4 or 5 which isn't bad considering he weighs probably 175 or so but his odor and generally he is just a moron who drags you into converstions about how good of a spot you gave him he is a moron.
Lop Of Shit- This guy weighs about 250 and swears to have worked out for years even though it doesn't look like he's ever touched a weight in his lifetime he mostly walks around talking to other people pretending he's working out hard while his biceps look like an 80 year old womans.
Applebees- This FINE ass chick who does quite a bit of cardio always wears black spandex shorts and a applebees shirt I want her to have my children.
Tigger And Poo Bear- These two jerkoffs used to be in the gym alot always doing chest and always staring at me and my workout partner like they wanted to start some shit. They were decent sized guys but I think they were jealous cause I am like half their age and bigger than either one of them. I don't see them anymore good riddance.
The Hulk- This 20 year old monster fucking kid is like 6'1 310 pretty lean seen doing inclines 395 for 8 he is a total house hence the name.
I have plenty more and some of these people might recgonize their name on here, I don't have anything against any of you personally cept you train wreak and cable guy you both suck ass and need to learn how to do something besides forearms and biceps everyday. Stop hogging the machines homos.
White Billy Blanks- He is used to be in the gym teaching some lame ass kung fu type self defense class basically looked like some tai-bo shit hence the name.
Train Wreak- This guy walks around with the worst case of ils I have ever seen in my life like he has a couple watermelons under his arms at all times, he does this stupid hand rub thing where he puts his hands together in front of him and does this upper body flex while rubbing them together. He is about 5'4 130lbs and i'm not kidding when he turns sideways he almost disappears. Damn I hate that guy.
The Cable Guy- This is train wreaks brother/cousin who is never anywhere but the cable machines, he will hog those bitches for 2 hours straight doing all kinds of asnine shit some arm flapping motion that I think is supposed to work his chest, shoulders, stupidity level fuckall if I know he also walks around with a look on his face like he's gonna beat Mike tysons ass, he is about train wreaks size 5'4 cept he might push 140 they both walk around in tank tops damn I hate this guy to.
Short Bus- This fucker smells like a goat herder and never does anything but decline bench, he lifts pretty decent weight on decline like I seen him push 315 for 4 or 5 which isn't bad considering he weighs probably 175 or so but his odor and generally he is just a moron who drags you into converstions about how good of a spot you gave him he is a moron.
Lop Of Shit- This guy weighs about 250 and swears to have worked out for years even though it doesn't look like he's ever touched a weight in his lifetime he mostly walks around talking to other people pretending he's working out hard while his biceps look like an 80 year old womans.
Applebees- This FINE ass chick who does quite a bit of cardio always wears black spandex shorts and a applebees shirt I want her to have my children.
Tigger And Poo Bear- These two jerkoffs used to be in the gym alot always doing chest and always staring at me and my workout partner like they wanted to start some shit. They were decent sized guys but I think they were jealous cause I am like half their age and bigger than either one of them. I don't see them anymore good riddance.
The Hulk- This 20 year old monster fucking kid is like 6'1 310 pretty lean seen doing inclines 395 for 8 he is a total house hence the name.
I have plenty more and some of these people might recgonize their name on here, I don't have anything against any of you personally cept you train wreak and cable guy you both suck ass and need to learn how to do something besides forearms and biceps everyday. Stop hogging the machines homos.
Last edited:
big_bad_buff
New member
sweetDial_tone said:
Skinny arab kid who does set after set after set of ballistic barbell curls in the squat rack, I call him every cliche Islamic name in the book: "Osama," "Mohammed," "Ali," "Mustapha," "Sulieman," "Mommar," "Gamel," "Faisal," "Farouk," just whatever comes to mind.
The Ranger
New member
STEVE STICKFIGURE- Steve goes from gym to gym, and has the remarkable ability to let everyone in the gym know how GREAT his body is. He wears all the latest bodybuilding clothes Crazeewear, Otomix, etc. Steve knows more than anyone about training, and is more than happy to share his knowledge. Of course this generally happens when you're in the middle of a rep. It's to bad Steve weighs 135lbs. cell phone, and gold chains included.
THE PEC-DECK POSSE- They generally move in groups of five, so beware!! No one knows for sure how many teams there are, but they run from gym to gym surrounding the pec-deck machine. A word of caution, DO NOT try to enter their circle!! It's a shame they cannot bench their own body weight.
CARLA COROLLA- Carla is quite the legend! No one has bigger balls than Carla when it comes to wearing spandex to smooth out cellulite. You can recognize her by the ½ inch of cake she wears on her face to smooth out the divots. Carla's name comes from the famous Toyota Corolla than runs forever, and Carla runs from one gym to the next...forever!
ANNA DROL- Anna is the chick that looks like Chyna, benches more than half the dudes in the gym, and has sexual organs longer than a footlong hot dog. Her voice sounds like Tone Loc when she asks for a spot, and stretch marks across her pecs that would rival the hardest core lifter. After her workout, she disappears in the locker room, only to emerge looking like a monkey wearing a mini skirt...Stretch really digs this chick!
BILL FLOODGATE- Nerdy looking clown, headphones, popular science magazines, I'm sure you've seen him. Fifteen minutes into his workout, he leaves a puddle of sweat on everything he touches. Towels will not work on Bill, so use caution when approaching him!
RANDY RATCHETJAW- This Bozo never works out, stays in the gym for three hours, greets everyone like he's known them for life, and constantly spews forth babble from that wadgobbling hole under his nose. Randy is easy to overcome, a simple slap usually will suffice, but the best method is to inform him that Bill Floodgate needs a spot...Heh heh heh!
LITTLE COUSIN BOBBY- This is the slightly(mentally) challenged guy who works the front desk. Bobby is VERY intense, and generally foams at the mouth when you forget your membership card. DO NOT make Bobby mad!
AUNT BEE- Aqua Net hairdo, leaves a waif of perfume vapor that lingers for three days, sits on a machine for 1 hour showing pictures of her grandchild Opie that looks like the missing link. I know you've seen her....Never discuss a recipe with this broad!!
THE BENCH BUNCH- I don't need to go into this to much. They are three guys who hog the bench, never do legs, and will pile on three times the weight they can actually bench. Their reps consist of the bar dropping at a rapid rate to their chest, while the other two pop blood vessels in their heads to get the bar back up. Once the rep is complete, there are high fives all the way around. Indented chests, and hockey stick legs identify these clowns!
CANDY CARDIOBUNNY- The absolute treadmill wonder of the gym. One solid hour at warp speed for this chick, and all without a rest. Never lifts weights because she doesn't want to look " Bulky " . Candy can be identified simply because she looks as though she could hang glide from a Dorito Chip!
BEN BACKINTHEDAY- Ben's a hoot. He comes up with long lost exercises, and training methods that have been locked away in the pyramids. Poor Ben suffers from ELS, a very rare disorder for which there is no cure. Around the gym it's known as Exaggerated Lat Syndrom, which forces the afflicted to walk around bellowing while the arms are extended at 45 degree angles giving the impression of huge, Coleman-like lats. Wide-grip chins have been reported to reduce the effects of this grossly deforming disease.
BUNNY SPANDEX- Gotta love Bunny. She has the unearthly ability to stop workouts, make older men act 18, and has an ass that could crack walnuts whole! She wears the latest " Show me everything " attire, blonde hair, perky breasts, and has a following that would rival Jesus at the gym. Generally accompanied by Arnold Roidhead, so beware!
ARNOLD ROIDHEAD- No gym is complete without a few Arnolds around. Most of the time, the biggest, loudest, and most obnoxious guy there. He has a following of slaves that worship his every move and slobber over him and his bulging roidgut. Careful with Arnold though, he will swell up to immense proportions when Bunny Spandex walks in, and it's best not to make eye contact with him or her until she leaves. Arnold must see a doctor at least once per month to have new parts placed in his head to maintain bodily functions.
GARY GOATFARMER- Gary is one of the most hated guys in the gym. Comes in straight off the farm, goatshit splattered boots, dirty jeans, and removes his flannel shirt down to a yellow-stained tee shirt to work out in. Gary can simply clear a room by his presence alone. There is no known defense for Gary, but it has been reputed that soap may reduce the after burner qualities he has!
WILLIE WIFEBEATER- They travel in groups of 2 to 12. Pants straight from MC Hammer's wardrobe with ground dragging crotch. White wifebeater shirts, pasty white skin, hats turned backwards, and at least 10 body piercing spread out all over their 110lb. bodies. Their function at the gym remains unknown at this point.
LARRY LOCKERROOM- Most of the time Larry is in his 70's or 80's at least, no one knows for sure. Larry, after his workout, likes to spend at least an hour in the locker room naked, prancing around with elephant like wrinkles, and more chins than a Chinese Restaurant. He will use the blow dryer to dry private parts of his body, and feels no shame at striking up a conversation with you at this point in time. I think my training partner Stretch has the best cure for this. He calls it ABC!! Absolute Bowel Control, as he puts it, his squat hardened ass doesn't hit porcelain until Larry has cleared the locker room. I feel this is sound advice and should be followed at all times.
FRED FITNESSTRAINER- Fred has all the certifications, and has passed all the written requirements, he just seemed to forget the physical ones. Usually can be seen with 2 to 3 others built like him, and can be heard telling them what everyone is doing wrong. This of course is between bites from his Twinkies while proclaiming he is bulking for some non-existent power lifting meet he has been training for, for the last 12 years. Need training? Submit application to Stretch or myself, photo's must be included.
JIMMY CHIA-PET- Jimmy can make the most hard core lifters shudder! He seems normal when he walks in and heads to the locker room, but what exits is straight from the jungles of Bangladesh!! Very tight onion-skin running shorts left over from the mid 80's, and nipple showing lifting tee's straight from any hard core BB magazine, and with no socks or shoes, Jimmy is awe inspiring!! He has thick, gorilla-coarse hair that covers every inch of his troll like body, it actually grows up his neck, though generally clean shaved, it's still a very scary site. If you've never seen Jimmy at your gym, see the movie Lord of the Rings, he had several parts in that flick I've been told. I cannot bring myself to see it at this point.
GREG GORILLABOY- Greg works out alone, and is the opposite of the Benchbunch gang. Greg has very short legs, but his arms drag the ground. Greg can be identified by the roller skates he wears on his hands so his knuckles won't scrape the carpet. Never does bench, he just squats. All of Greg's pants must be special ordered from K-mart.
THE GERBIL- " SHUDDER " I'd rather not go into this, but he's the guy that hides back in the corner watching all the big guys pound iron. Looks like Hannible Lecter, and talks with a lisp. Never make eye contact with him, act like he's not there. Avoid at all costs unless you want a 6 foot by 3 foot plot of ground in his back yard!!
SALLY SPREADLEGS- She comes to the gym to pick up Iron Brothers. Never works out, and can ruin a good workout with one Pall Mall voiced sentence. Has the IQ of a cricket, and can be identified when leaving by the eight children she has in tow. Avoid at all costs, or your gym career is over!
KENNY KNOWSTHEMALL- Kenny knows everyone, and he's the GREATEST! If you don't believe him, just ask him. His advice starts out with, " Ronnie told me " or the famous, " Flex has said many times " and lest we not forget " King Kamali and I did " These types generally cannot distinguish between fantasy land and the real gym. It's also a known fact they cannot enter any bodybuilding function due to the pending stalking charges. Depending on your physique level, you may wish to avoid, usually gives sound advice to Arnold Roidhead.
MARK MrO- Marks been training for the Mr. O for many years, very much like Stretch and myself. And Mark is the first to let you know he's going this year, of course we did as well, but our tickets had better seats than his did. Harmless, but can be irritating.
PETER POPAZIT- This gym wonder forgot side effects of steroids and has a roadmap atlas of zits across his back and chest. He gets his name due to the popping noise his zits make when doing heavy bench and bent over rows...For safety reasons, you should wear goggles when working around Peter!
CARLY CAMELTOE- Carly is AMAZING!! Straight off the treadmill, nice sweat going on, and straight to the weight room for the intense workout portion of her day. Face down on the leg curl machine, tight shorts, up the legs go......Need I say more? Heh heh heh....Although Stretch and I enjoy her presence very much I must add!!
HARLOD HOCKEYSTICKS- The upper body wonder of the gym scene people. Upper body is flawless in every respect, and actually seems to be a nice guy in a way. Wears nice baggies to workout in, decent shoes, good form, what else could you want. When you see him at the beach is when the shock sets in, Harold never works legs, and in the tight swim suit he's wearing his legs look like hockey sticks, or perhaps he's riding a chicken...Stretch and I are undecided at this point though.
THE HALF-REP GURUGODS- A must for every gym, and not complete without them. Most of the time huddled around the squat rack with 5 plates on each side. The noise they emit from their pie holes is staggering and done to ensure everyone will pause to watch the enormous feat coming up! I must admit Stretch and I have fallen victim to them at least once or twice. The first of the group bangs head off the bar until blood flows from his forehead(a hardcore habit), unracks the bar emitting a Tarzan like scream, lowers 4 inches into a squat, then stands erect once again to complete the awe inspiring rep. We are generally left dumbfounded by the sheer stupidity of this act, yet they perceive it to be God-Like looks of worship...Ignore them and move on!
HAL HALITOSIS- AVOID at all costs. Hal's diet consists of shitburgers for every meal, and his breath reeks of their after effects. If you're caught unaware and he starts a conversation with you, Stretch has the best advice. Take deep breath, turn face to the side, and close one eye, as Stretch puts it, " It's better to be blind in one eye than both eyes! " Truly a nightmare.
DEREK DRUNKGUY- Gibbering to himself, covered in filth, eating his own toenail clippings, curling in the squat rack. There's no end to his perversions!
THE SUPERHERO GANG- Skin tight spandex showing off disgustingly perfect bodies, flying here and there like giant mosquitoes, throwing lightning bolts at each other and saving the world between sets. I hate these guys!
ANGIE DIMPLEKNEES- The self proclaimed Oreo-Cookie Queen of Bodybuilding. Easily spotted due to the fact you'd have to roll her in flour to find a wet spot. She appears out of hibernation January 2nd, but her life is short lived and returns to hibernation February 3rd for another year. Harmless, but a GREAT cook!!
Ranger
THE PEC-DECK POSSE- They generally move in groups of five, so beware!! No one knows for sure how many teams there are, but they run from gym to gym surrounding the pec-deck machine. A word of caution, DO NOT try to enter their circle!! It's a shame they cannot bench their own body weight.
CARLA COROLLA- Carla is quite the legend! No one has bigger balls than Carla when it comes to wearing spandex to smooth out cellulite. You can recognize her by the ½ inch of cake she wears on her face to smooth out the divots. Carla's name comes from the famous Toyota Corolla than runs forever, and Carla runs from one gym to the next...forever!
ANNA DROL- Anna is the chick that looks like Chyna, benches more than half the dudes in the gym, and has sexual organs longer than a footlong hot dog. Her voice sounds like Tone Loc when she asks for a spot, and stretch marks across her pecs that would rival the hardest core lifter. After her workout, she disappears in the locker room, only to emerge looking like a monkey wearing a mini skirt...Stretch really digs this chick!
BILL FLOODGATE- Nerdy looking clown, headphones, popular science magazines, I'm sure you've seen him. Fifteen minutes into his workout, he leaves a puddle of sweat on everything he touches. Towels will not work on Bill, so use caution when approaching him!
RANDY RATCHETJAW- This Bozo never works out, stays in the gym for three hours, greets everyone like he's known them for life, and constantly spews forth babble from that wadgobbling hole under his nose. Randy is easy to overcome, a simple slap usually will suffice, but the best method is to inform him that Bill Floodgate needs a spot...Heh heh heh!
LITTLE COUSIN BOBBY- This is the slightly(mentally) challenged guy who works the front desk. Bobby is VERY intense, and generally foams at the mouth when you forget your membership card. DO NOT make Bobby mad!
AUNT BEE- Aqua Net hairdo, leaves a waif of perfume vapor that lingers for three days, sits on a machine for 1 hour showing pictures of her grandchild Opie that looks like the missing link. I know you've seen her....Never discuss a recipe with this broad!!
THE BENCH BUNCH- I don't need to go into this to much. They are three guys who hog the bench, never do legs, and will pile on three times the weight they can actually bench. Their reps consist of the bar dropping at a rapid rate to their chest, while the other two pop blood vessels in their heads to get the bar back up. Once the rep is complete, there are high fives all the way around. Indented chests, and hockey stick legs identify these clowns!
CANDY CARDIOBUNNY- The absolute treadmill wonder of the gym. One solid hour at warp speed for this chick, and all without a rest. Never lifts weights because she doesn't want to look " Bulky " . Candy can be identified simply because she looks as though she could hang glide from a Dorito Chip!
BEN BACKINTHEDAY- Ben's a hoot. He comes up with long lost exercises, and training methods that have been locked away in the pyramids. Poor Ben suffers from ELS, a very rare disorder for which there is no cure. Around the gym it's known as Exaggerated Lat Syndrom, which forces the afflicted to walk around bellowing while the arms are extended at 45 degree angles giving the impression of huge, Coleman-like lats. Wide-grip chins have been reported to reduce the effects of this grossly deforming disease.
BUNNY SPANDEX- Gotta love Bunny. She has the unearthly ability to stop workouts, make older men act 18, and has an ass that could crack walnuts whole! She wears the latest " Show me everything " attire, blonde hair, perky breasts, and has a following that would rival Jesus at the gym. Generally accompanied by Arnold Roidhead, so beware!
ARNOLD ROIDHEAD- No gym is complete without a few Arnolds around. Most of the time, the biggest, loudest, and most obnoxious guy there. He has a following of slaves that worship his every move and slobber over him and his bulging roidgut. Careful with Arnold though, he will swell up to immense proportions when Bunny Spandex walks in, and it's best not to make eye contact with him or her until she leaves. Arnold must see a doctor at least once per month to have new parts placed in his head to maintain bodily functions.
GARY GOATFARMER- Gary is one of the most hated guys in the gym. Comes in straight off the farm, goatshit splattered boots, dirty jeans, and removes his flannel shirt down to a yellow-stained tee shirt to work out in. Gary can simply clear a room by his presence alone. There is no known defense for Gary, but it has been reputed that soap may reduce the after burner qualities he has!
WILLIE WIFEBEATER- They travel in groups of 2 to 12. Pants straight from MC Hammer's wardrobe with ground dragging crotch. White wifebeater shirts, pasty white skin, hats turned backwards, and at least 10 body piercing spread out all over their 110lb. bodies. Their function at the gym remains unknown at this point.
LARRY LOCKERROOM- Most of the time Larry is in his 70's or 80's at least, no one knows for sure. Larry, after his workout, likes to spend at least an hour in the locker room naked, prancing around with elephant like wrinkles, and more chins than a Chinese Restaurant. He will use the blow dryer to dry private parts of his body, and feels no shame at striking up a conversation with you at this point in time. I think my training partner Stretch has the best cure for this. He calls it ABC!! Absolute Bowel Control, as he puts it, his squat hardened ass doesn't hit porcelain until Larry has cleared the locker room. I feel this is sound advice and should be followed at all times.
FRED FITNESSTRAINER- Fred has all the certifications, and has passed all the written requirements, he just seemed to forget the physical ones. Usually can be seen with 2 to 3 others built like him, and can be heard telling them what everyone is doing wrong. This of course is between bites from his Twinkies while proclaiming he is bulking for some non-existent power lifting meet he has been training for, for the last 12 years. Need training? Submit application to Stretch or myself, photo's must be included.
JIMMY CHIA-PET- Jimmy can make the most hard core lifters shudder! He seems normal when he walks in and heads to the locker room, but what exits is straight from the jungles of Bangladesh!! Very tight onion-skin running shorts left over from the mid 80's, and nipple showing lifting tee's straight from any hard core BB magazine, and with no socks or shoes, Jimmy is awe inspiring!! He has thick, gorilla-coarse hair that covers every inch of his troll like body, it actually grows up his neck, though generally clean shaved, it's still a very scary site. If you've never seen Jimmy at your gym, see the movie Lord of the Rings, he had several parts in that flick I've been told. I cannot bring myself to see it at this point.
GREG GORILLABOY- Greg works out alone, and is the opposite of the Benchbunch gang. Greg has very short legs, but his arms drag the ground. Greg can be identified by the roller skates he wears on his hands so his knuckles won't scrape the carpet. Never does bench, he just squats. All of Greg's pants must be special ordered from K-mart.
THE GERBIL- " SHUDDER " I'd rather not go into this, but he's the guy that hides back in the corner watching all the big guys pound iron. Looks like Hannible Lecter, and talks with a lisp. Never make eye contact with him, act like he's not there. Avoid at all costs unless you want a 6 foot by 3 foot plot of ground in his back yard!!
SALLY SPREADLEGS- She comes to the gym to pick up Iron Brothers. Never works out, and can ruin a good workout with one Pall Mall voiced sentence. Has the IQ of a cricket, and can be identified when leaving by the eight children she has in tow. Avoid at all costs, or your gym career is over!
KENNY KNOWSTHEMALL- Kenny knows everyone, and he's the GREATEST! If you don't believe him, just ask him. His advice starts out with, " Ronnie told me " or the famous, " Flex has said many times " and lest we not forget " King Kamali and I did " These types generally cannot distinguish between fantasy land and the real gym. It's also a known fact they cannot enter any bodybuilding function due to the pending stalking charges. Depending on your physique level, you may wish to avoid, usually gives sound advice to Arnold Roidhead.
MARK MrO- Marks been training for the Mr. O for many years, very much like Stretch and myself. And Mark is the first to let you know he's going this year, of course we did as well, but our tickets had better seats than his did. Harmless, but can be irritating.
PETER POPAZIT- This gym wonder forgot side effects of steroids and has a roadmap atlas of zits across his back and chest. He gets his name due to the popping noise his zits make when doing heavy bench and bent over rows...For safety reasons, you should wear goggles when working around Peter!
CARLY CAMELTOE- Carly is AMAZING!! Straight off the treadmill, nice sweat going on, and straight to the weight room for the intense workout portion of her day. Face down on the leg curl machine, tight shorts, up the legs go......Need I say more? Heh heh heh....Although Stretch and I enjoy her presence very much I must add!!
HARLOD HOCKEYSTICKS- The upper body wonder of the gym scene people. Upper body is flawless in every respect, and actually seems to be a nice guy in a way. Wears nice baggies to workout in, decent shoes, good form, what else could you want. When you see him at the beach is when the shock sets in, Harold never works legs, and in the tight swim suit he's wearing his legs look like hockey sticks, or perhaps he's riding a chicken...Stretch and I are undecided at this point though.
THE HALF-REP GURUGODS- A must for every gym, and not complete without them. Most of the time huddled around the squat rack with 5 plates on each side. The noise they emit from their pie holes is staggering and done to ensure everyone will pause to watch the enormous feat coming up! I must admit Stretch and I have fallen victim to them at least once or twice. The first of the group bangs head off the bar until blood flows from his forehead(a hardcore habit), unracks the bar emitting a Tarzan like scream, lowers 4 inches into a squat, then stands erect once again to complete the awe inspiring rep. We are generally left dumbfounded by the sheer stupidity of this act, yet they perceive it to be God-Like looks of worship...Ignore them and move on!
HAL HALITOSIS- AVOID at all costs. Hal's diet consists of shitburgers for every meal, and his breath reeks of their after effects. If you're caught unaware and he starts a conversation with you, Stretch has the best advice. Take deep breath, turn face to the side, and close one eye, as Stretch puts it, " It's better to be blind in one eye than both eyes! " Truly a nightmare.
DEREK DRUNKGUY- Gibbering to himself, covered in filth, eating his own toenail clippings, curling in the squat rack. There's no end to his perversions!
THE SUPERHERO GANG- Skin tight spandex showing off disgustingly perfect bodies, flying here and there like giant mosquitoes, throwing lightning bolts at each other and saving the world between sets. I hate these guys!
ANGIE DIMPLEKNEES- The self proclaimed Oreo-Cookie Queen of Bodybuilding. Easily spotted due to the fact you'd have to roll her in flour to find a wet spot. She appears out of hibernation January 2nd, but her life is short lived and returns to hibernation February 3rd for another year. Harmless, but a GREAT cook!!
Ranger
MR Pink
New member
We call this guy at my gym l-rom...he always gets pissed of when we call him like that because he doesn't know what that means and thinks it's something nasty (it's stands for limited range of motion)...the name says it all. He thinks he a bad ass and only use machines....he takes the whole weightstack and only moves 7-10 inches.
argent
New member
We've got:
Mr. Intensity
Captain Insano
Fat and Ugly (guy and gf combo)
The Tourettes Dancer
John the Stripper (who all of a sudden became very religious so his name was changed to John the Baptist)
D
Dan the Welder
SMUF(Scary MUthaFucka) aka The Gerbil
The Spring Break Gnome
Stinky Mountain Man
Team Gay
Mr. Intensity
Captain Insano
Fat and Ugly (guy and gf combo)
The Tourettes Dancer
John the Stripper (who all of a sudden became very religious so his name was changed to John the Baptist)
D
Dan the Welder
SMUF(Scary MUthaFucka) aka The Gerbil
The Spring Break Gnome
Stinky Mountain Man
Team Gay
strider364
New member
argent said:
fat and ugly are married broham.
Other names:
Fruit loop
Elvis and prick
air lats
spikey the gay
Q-tip
man-woman
quadzilla
punk ass bitch
Don't forget the good names we have:
Tiger=me
Double D
single d
Uncle Nico
McBayne
Richy Rich
Tony Black
Old Blue
Mean Joe
Team Randall
Pugsly
loaf
The Big Ragu
strider364 said:
I call them invisble lats
superqt4u2nv said:
I call them invisble lats
lol i hav ea kid at my school who wears muscle shirts all the time even if weather doesnt permit, and walks around with air lats. his upper arms are about as thick as my wrists... and is back is invisble
i also cought another guy checking himself out in the bathroom mirror with his shirt off, but ive told that story in like 5 differnt threads
sh4dowf4lcon
New member
:geigh:
Oh and "The Highlander" fat dude with a ponytail that wears zebra zubaz and a Highlander t-shirt. Always talking about the show and his gay ass sword thats just like the real deal. gay. He gives everybody that looks better than him advice on how to train properly too. He once started talking to me during a set and when I was done I just walked away while he was talking. Fuking moron.
Moderate_THIS
New member
hardrock said:
Christopher Lambert works out at your gym. No Fucking way!
Beachbum1546
New member
i dont get it. why am i "super dumb?"Bullit said:
Moderate_THIS
New member
Starting today, we have a Beachbum at my gym
Beachbum1546
New member
cool, i guess. they dont say it in a condecending way. i'm good friends with these people, we even have a poker night together. I have been working out with these guys for YEARS. so they are not making fun of me. arnold is the only bb'er they know of, so they call me him cuz i want to be one too.chaos mage said:
damn.
strider364
New member
argent said:
it's cool mang
Synpax
Well-known member
I forgot two of them that I saw today. These are real names, not generic, just like in my earlire thread:
Tits. One of the guys who works at the gym but doesn't appear to 'work out.' Has the worse case of gyno I have ever seen on a man.
Fugly. This girl who is incredibly fat and comes up on the weight floor when she should be on cardio and does manly weights. The issue ihave with her is she appears to only be wearing a sports bra top, and you see the rolls of fat on her back and stomach. Disgusting.
Tits. One of the guys who works at the gym but doesn't appear to 'work out.' Has the worse case of gyno I have ever seen on a man.
Fugly. This girl who is incredibly fat and comes up on the weight floor when she should be on cardio and does manly weights. The issue ihave with her is she appears to only be wearing a sports bra top, and you see the rolls of fat on her back and stomach. Disgusting.
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