Need help, bluetoothing my toilet

[BrothaBill]

How would I go about bluetoothing my toilet flushing. Im sick of touching a toilet handle in my life and wish to bluetooth the flush to avoid washing my hands. See given I usually where scrubs or shorts. I have come to a method of actually urinating without touching areas that contain the more oily sebaceous sweat glands that can foster bacterial growth that are present in the groin and armpit regions causing necessity to most definitely wash hands which I do at a near OCD rate throughout the day. Ill prolly still wash my hands, but would rather not touch the toilet handle, at work, its infrared, but at home. Rather than install infrared sensors. How can I bluetooth it??
Thank you in advance

 

[HumorMe]