Cutler also has gallons upon gallons of test, gh, and other goodies to swear by......that stuff enhances your training stimulus, even a crappy stimulus. The body needs to adapt to something and get good at it to grow...the muscles/body knows workload placed on it, the fastest way to give it a reason to grow is to increase that workload over time, the only way to actually know if you're doing that is to have something quantifiable.....you're a CPA, you know the importance of being able to measure, track, record, and actually keep track of something, rather than blindly going into the gym to 'pump' and 'blast' .......if you incline 275x8 one week, then do dumbells the next, then smith the next, then hammer incline the next, and you keep doing something different, and at the end of 6 months your 8 rep incline is still 275ish and you really made no progress on any of your other lifts, you won't grow (unless, of course, you're living on large doses of drugs and ancillaries.....cattle grow on that stuff without training, throw in a little resistance training, and bang). The fastest, easiest, least frustrating way to do this is to progressively get good at pressing, pulling, and squatting......your goal right now should be to add 150lbs to your 8 rep incline and military presses and 200-250lbs to your 8 rep squats and rows and deadlifts.
I agree with Bruce's eating philosophy, pound down quality whole foods, not egg whites and powders, but real, satisfying meals, whole eggs (it's the good cholesterol and your body needs the fats and cals more than ever right now), red meat in abundance. I hate to oversimplify because I know your history of beating yourself up about this, but you really have to let go of the fear, it's totally irrational and you're an intelligent enough guy to know that.
30 is pretty young, man.....I'm 27 and feel the same as when I was 18.....I think what you do is look at articles geared towards the average American slob and apply them to you....you're not the average American slob, the way you'll be training is not what the typical 30-year old, let themselves go to Hell in a handbasket American man does.
Don't worry about going through phases of looking normal and looking like this and that......any phase you pass through is gonna be a step up from 150 at 6' 2".......the thing is JK, you know this.....I am not telling you anything you don't already know, you let those irrational thoughts get the best of you, just outsmart them.