My Fucking Shirt -- Part III

[Citruscide]

For those of you familiar with my shirt... I have one I wear alot... he's really the apple of my eye... except when he FUCKS up... once... he got some water spilled on him... and the second time, he got himself caught on a tack... after which... I spent a great deal of time MENDING my fucking shirt... oh man... it was shitsville after that.

Things have been going well with my shirt the last few months... We've gone to the gym together... he holds sweat and doesn't shrink when washed... maintains color... we go get food, and he avoids getting it spilled on him...

Today, it was something far worse...

I was in the parking lot today... walking to my car after a decent tri/bi workout. I was pretty happy with myself (as usual) and I accidently walked too close to a really dirty van and rubbed up against it... my shirt... was full of black-city soot... which would no doubt take many washes to get out. So I'm thinking... was this really an accident?

Much to the dismay of the two people who were sitting in the van... I started in on my shirt...

"What the fuck do you think you were doing walking into that fucking filthy van like THAT!"

--- people in van are confused at this point ---

"YOU think you can control me? You think you can just throw yourself into any dirt, and I'm going to keep you clean?? DO you ever fucking think about HOW I FEEL!!!" " YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH... That Van is your LAST STRAW... now i have to do wash tonight!"

-- guy in the van rolling up window

"Oh SURE blame them... blame the people for not washing their VAN... you think you can just get off by having me beat the fuck out of THEM!?! You are not getting off THAT easy"

Then I started in on the insults... after taking my shirt off... and pinning it on the back wiper of my CR-V. I started in on 15 minutes of public humiliation... I even asked passer-bys to hurl insults... although, many... didn't have the intestinal fortitude to be as ruthless as I was... the best I could get was to pay a homeless man 25 cents to call the shirt a "fucking muther fucker" -- I'll take what I can get...

My shirt is soaking... and probably sulking... but I do know one thing though... shirts... they come they go... Saturday through Sunday Monday... Monday through Sunday yo....

C-ditty

 

[Citruscide]

I'm begining to think you are abusing your shirt! Does PETA cover shirts also? Or is that PETS?

Fruit of the Looms called me last week... and Haynes has been on my case for years.

C-ditty

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

I'm begining to think you are abusing your shirt! Does PETA cover shirts also? Or is that PETS?

 

[Citruscide]

This is the first even mildly amusing/entertaining thing you've posted since you became a mod.

That's the weakest come on line you've used on me YET VDL.

In chat... probably... but it wasn't ment to be amusing... ?? LOL

C-ditty

 

[VooDoo Lady]

This is the first even mildly amusing/entertaining thing you've posted since you became a mod.

 

[VooDoo Lady]

That's the weakest come on line you've used on me YET VDL.

In chat... probably... but it wasn't ment to be amusing... ?? LOL

C-ditty

LOL!!! Yeah, I suppose my disgust for you is simply misplaced lust.

 

[Citruscide]

LOL!!! Yeah, I suppose my disgust for you is simply misplaced lust.

Disgust... now you are talking like an irrational woman who has problems expressing herself.

Trust me. If you were ever to Citrus-land... you'd drink the nectar all day long.

C-ditty

 

[Citruscide]

Bump

 

[PlatnumKowboy]

If your shirt treats you wrong show it who is in control by going on a bleaching rampage of its closest relatives you might also consider raping his best friend sock.

 

[XBiker]

I got a NIKE dry fit shirt that's much worse than yours.

I wore him in a mountain bike race and look what he did.

Threw massive amounts of dirt all over himself.

Wicked sweat away and further stained the already mud stained blotches.

However, with his help I came in 3rd of 30, keeping me in the top 10% of the class.

After the race was over, I removed him, washed myself with a water bottle (showers we not available). I threw him over the tail gate of my truck and said to him, "Just do it, huh?"

He was smart enough to keep his sleeves shut and take his berating.