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This a loooong post. Please read and advise. I would highly appreciate it.
We had a semi-arranged marriage. Our culture believes in first the marriage and then love comes later. She was so pretty that I considered myself to be the luckiest person alive. She had one of the prettiest eyes (not just my opinion) and her boobs were bigger than most playboy models.
Everything went south after that. On our second day of honeymoon, she started telling me about her other suitors. How a guy was offering $100,000 dowry to her family and how a guy sent his grandfather to beg for her hand. I told her that I didn’t want to hear it, but she kept on telling it anyway. She told me that I was lying, but that was OK as all men lie. I told her that I felt like driving the car in the wall. We had fights, and fights, and fights on our honeymoon.
That was the start of marriage from hell. She would get into rage and physically attack me (she knew I would not raise my hand on a woman). She would call me every possible name to hurt me. No one else has ever called me a bastard and gotten away with it. On those occasions, my only option would be to get out of the house, and she would try to block the door. At one time I almost had frost bite because I went out without socks in below zero temp. She blamed her every professor and every employer of sexual harassment. I knew from her own description that she was very flirtatious.
One and a half year into marriage, she told me that she had bipolar disorder and had been on lithium in past. She only did that because she had fight with a cousin who threatened to squeal on her. Six months later, after her MS annual exam, she completely broke down. She saw her Psychiatrist who under-medicated her. Next day she was completely out of control. I called her parents who came. I went to my clinic. She picked up the kitchen knife and tried to leave the house saying that she would kill me. Her father called the police who took her to ER. I got her transferred to another hospital where a psychiatrist friend of mine released her in less than 2 days after stabilizing her. I have a very close friend who is a Psychiatrist in Louisiana. I discussed with him on daily basis and he finally got her on medication that completely stabilized her. Those 2-3 months were the most pleasant period of our marriage. She would tell family and friends that ‘after 2 years we have finally figured out how marriage works’. Then she complained that the medication made her too ‘restless’. Her father (who is an asshole and has Paranoid disorder but he refuses to see a psychiatrist) called everyone that ‘my daughter is being mistreated’. He called my Psychiatrist friend that what type of doctor he was treating someone from 800 miles distance’. My friend advised me that, for my own (legal) protection, I should not intervene in her treatment. I did that, she changed her treatment, and we were back to same BS. After trying for 2 more years, I waited for an appropriate time to get separated.
One thing that had always bothered me: She wears glasses. She had thick, big, ugly glasses that positively made her look ugly, and she knew it. Everyone in her family told her to change her glasses but she didn’t. She only bought new, pretty glasses AFTER we got separated.
I care about her. Although she had put on some pounds, I still find her attractive. She has significantly helped me in a side-business (that I am going to give her once it is fully established). She is asking me to give her one more chance (one year of living together) to show that she has changed. At least, she wants us to start with a ‘weekend marriage’.
I don’t have to take her back. I have at least two more pretty women who are really interested in me. I am a highly paid professional. I also know that I could have much better choices if I start looking for (which I have not been).
These are my concerns:
1. Can people’s core personality really change? All of my knowledge tells me ‘no’. I don’t want to raise her hopes if it now going to work out in the long run.
2. Once we have children, then she would have me by my balls. I would rather not have a child than the possibility that I don’t raise it.
3. She is angry at me for imposing this separation. Once she is in full control, it would be pay back time for me. What do you think?
We had a semi-arranged marriage. Our culture believes in first the marriage and then love comes later. She was so pretty that I considered myself to be the luckiest person alive. She had one of the prettiest eyes (not just my opinion) and her boobs were bigger than most playboy models.
Everything went south after that. On our second day of honeymoon, she started telling me about her other suitors. How a guy was offering $100,000 dowry to her family and how a guy sent his grandfather to beg for her hand. I told her that I didn’t want to hear it, but she kept on telling it anyway. She told me that I was lying, but that was OK as all men lie. I told her that I felt like driving the car in the wall. We had fights, and fights, and fights on our honeymoon.
That was the start of marriage from hell. She would get into rage and physically attack me (she knew I would not raise my hand on a woman). She would call me every possible name to hurt me. No one else has ever called me a bastard and gotten away with it. On those occasions, my only option would be to get out of the house, and she would try to block the door. At one time I almost had frost bite because I went out without socks in below zero temp. She blamed her every professor and every employer of sexual harassment. I knew from her own description that she was very flirtatious.
One and a half year into marriage, she told me that she had bipolar disorder and had been on lithium in past. She only did that because she had fight with a cousin who threatened to squeal on her. Six months later, after her MS annual exam, she completely broke down. She saw her Psychiatrist who under-medicated her. Next day she was completely out of control. I called her parents who came. I went to my clinic. She picked up the kitchen knife and tried to leave the house saying that she would kill me. Her father called the police who took her to ER. I got her transferred to another hospital where a psychiatrist friend of mine released her in less than 2 days after stabilizing her. I have a very close friend who is a Psychiatrist in Louisiana. I discussed with him on daily basis and he finally got her on medication that completely stabilized her. Those 2-3 months were the most pleasant period of our marriage. She would tell family and friends that ‘after 2 years we have finally figured out how marriage works’. Then she complained that the medication made her too ‘restless’. Her father (who is an asshole and has Paranoid disorder but he refuses to see a psychiatrist) called everyone that ‘my daughter is being mistreated’. He called my Psychiatrist friend that what type of doctor he was treating someone from 800 miles distance’. My friend advised me that, for my own (legal) protection, I should not intervene in her treatment. I did that, she changed her treatment, and we were back to same BS. After trying for 2 more years, I waited for an appropriate time to get separated.
One thing that had always bothered me: She wears glasses. She had thick, big, ugly glasses that positively made her look ugly, and she knew it. Everyone in her family told her to change her glasses but she didn’t. She only bought new, pretty glasses AFTER we got separated.
I care about her. Although she had put on some pounds, I still find her attractive. She has significantly helped me in a side-business (that I am going to give her once it is fully established). She is asking me to give her one more chance (one year of living together) to show that she has changed. At least, she wants us to start with a ‘weekend marriage’.
I don’t have to take her back. I have at least two more pretty women who are really interested in me. I am a highly paid professional. I also know that I could have much better choices if I start looking for (which I have not been).
These are my concerns:
1. Can people’s core personality really change? All of my knowledge tells me ‘no’. I don’t want to raise her hopes if it now going to work out in the long run.
2. Once we have children, then she would have me by my balls. I would rather not have a child than the possibility that I don’t raise it.
3. She is angry at me for imposing this separation. Once she is in full control, it would be pay back time for me. What do you think?
