It's funny but I have been very down lately myself over some of these same issues. Both my girl and my family don't give 2 shits about my bodybuilding. I mean, I went from just under a measly buck 80 to 200lbs with under 8% bodyfat.
At first I was like around 188lbs and had around 15% bodyfat. Not too great. Decent build but nothing special. My girl would make me feel like shit because her ex-bf was very low bodyfat and she would always bring him up whenever talking about fitness. It made me pissed off so I cut my cals big time, upped cardio, used some ECA and got down below 180 with some abs. Looked very lean but I wasn't happy with myself because I wanted to be big and strong. I felt embarassed around the guys because I used to be a decent size but now I looked like a scrawny beachboy. Even my own mother laughed at me and said I'm not a man.
Well, meanwhile the girl could give a shit less. All that hard work and determination and she didn't care about my abs or the fact that I didn't have an ounce of fat on me. Fuck it. I realized I can't make her happy so I bulk. Get up to 215lbs and feel like a king. But I would hear comments all the time about me being bloated and fat, or whispers of steroids. The girl thought I just pigged out on mcdonalds the past few weeks when I was actually eating very clean and never allowed my bodyfat to get higher than 13%. Some people gave compliments, others just said I was big and looked stupid. My family was disappointed and my dad said that I have to get my abs back and that I look a bit overgrown.
Again...fuck...so I wait my time and then cut like a mofo. Now, at 200lbs and less than 8%bf with an 8 pack and veins coming up my lower abs, striations everwhere, leg seperation, etc etc....nobody says shit! I mean, I really think I look GOOD. My brother who is honest with me is in complete awe and so are a bunch of people in the gym. But outside of that....with the people I really care about...I don't get ANYTHING. I took my girl to the gym with me where she did cardio and I did arms. I made sure I got a sick pump and all the striations and veins came out. I am talking to her and I say "honestly, do I look like I lost any fat to you?" she said "i don't know, you look the same I guess." That killed me. I mean, here I am BUSTING my ass and making sure my diet is down to the T, popping winstrol and taking needles in the ass....and this is what I hear?
I continually figure out that you can't make anybody else happy. People will tear you down no matter what. Even people you love or who love you, for some reason, they just have a way of beating the shit out of you mentally. You have to be strong and know what's best for you. In the end, you have to make yourself happy because if people truly love you, they will accept you for who you are.
Rant over...lol
But Needto, keep it up. You know that you have a great bunch of bros who got your back. You have been putting a lot of dedication into these forums and your products and your support is truly appreciated. You've helped me on numerous occassions, just as I'm sure you have helped countless other bros out there. Keep it up man. It means a lot to us.
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