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Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy
marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems
by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with
himself as the beneficiary, and arranging to have her
killed.
A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious
underworld figure who went by the name of "Artie."
Artie explained to the husband that his going price for
snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was
willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any
cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance
money.
Artie insisted on being paid something up front. The man
opened up his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill
that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to
accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the
local Kroger grocery store. There, he surprised her in
the produce department and proceeded to strangle her
with his gloved hands.
As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath
and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce
department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene.
Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no
choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured
by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security
guard, who immediately called the police.
Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave
the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie
revealed the sordid plan, including his financial
arrangements with the hapless husband.
And that is why, the next day in the newspaper,
the headline declared
DRUM ROLL (PAUSE) Go all the way to the end!!!!!
[You're going to hate me for this]
ready
you sure?
ok, here it is
"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT KROGERS"
marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems
by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with
himself as the beneficiary, and arranging to have her
killed.
A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious
underworld figure who went by the name of "Artie."
Artie explained to the husband that his going price for
snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was
willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any
cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance
money.
Artie insisted on being paid something up front. The man
opened up his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill
that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to
accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the
local Kroger grocery store. There, he surprised her in
the produce department and proceeded to strangle her
with his gloved hands.
As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath
and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce
department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene.
Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no
choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured
by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security
guard, who immediately called the police.
Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave
the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie
revealed the sordid plan, including his financial
arrangements with the hapless husband.
And that is why, the next day in the newspaper,
the headline declared
DRUM ROLL (PAUSE) Go all the way to the end!!!!!
[You're going to hate me for this]
ready
you sure?
ok, here it is
"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT KROGERS"
Last edited:
Cheers, Suga'
