Bigdawg1468 said:
yes and tomorrow you will post and tell us how she is trying, you forgive her and you are willing to make it work.
Daisy_Girl said:
Sorry sweetie...but this suprises you WHY?
She has shown...over and over and over....that she is not trustworthy. Why all of a sudden do you think she will change overnight?
You gotta do what you gotta do, and I certainly won't judge you for that....but honestly, this cycle will continue until YOU change it.
ditto and ditto.
you're either unable to see what you're doing to yourself, or you ENJOY having all this drama in your life and getting the attention of those around you.
countless people have tried to give you advice, but you don't seem to want to listen. it seems the only advice you want to hear is the advice that agrees with how you are feeling that day.
know the definition of insanity? doing the same thing repeatedly but expecting different results each time.
you're pissing on those that have been supportive of you. i'm not an insensitive asshole. i in no way envy the position you are in. this is a tough emotional time, anyone can see that, but guess what? it's not the end of the world. the sun will rise again tomorrow and set once again. life will go on. you can heal your wounds. your wife can't make up her mind, fine. make up yours. leave her until she makes up her mind. stop trying to do it for her, because it will only make the situation worse. move foreward, not backwards.
wake up and realize what's happening to you. you're blinded by a dream that you have of patching up this marrige and living happily ever after. you're not going to force your wife to change. understand it, accept it, and move on. change yourself. let her decide what she's going to do with her life. you've got your life to live. why are you wasting your time stressing yourself out to the point that you're physically ill? life is too short for that. learn from your mistakes. apply them to the rest of your life.
i'm not saying anything that hasn't been said to you before, but it's apparent you don't want to listen to anybody but yourself. pretty soon, no one is going to want to listen to you change your mind day to day and watch you make yourself more miserable. what will you do then? most normal people will only give sympathy for so long until they realize that the person they are consoling is just going to stay in the cycle of hurting themselves and not break out of it. make your own choices. let us know when you've started taking steps forward in your life.
let's start hearing about the positive things Chesty is doing to make his life better. let's start hearing about how Chesty is making progress with his own emotional struggles. let's start hearing about how Chesty is making the best out of one of the worst situations he could've possibily been thrown into by making one decision at a time, even just small ones, to move on in his life and give himself and his kids the best he can give them by being a good father, listening to them, helping them with their struggles in school, with friends, whatever it may be, and giving them the love and support that they, as his children, deserve. if your wife decides that she wants to change her ways and join you in all of this, so be it. if not, then continue on without her. she's only one part of this situation. there's 3 other lives involved. stop trying to fix the weak link and instead, cut it loose and strengthen the rest of the chain.
hope some of this sank in and i didn't just waste my time again. just to make sure, why don't you re-read it when you're sober. then, read it again. and maybe just one more time for good measure. when it starts to make sense and you decide to take steps forward in your life, let me know and i'll be more than willing to listen.
as i tell my 6 year old, help yourself and i'll help you. don't help yourself and you won't get my help. i know i'm not the only one in this world that works that way.
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