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Men vs. Women

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puddlemonkey

puddlemonkey

thou shalt not shill
EF VIP
Its overdue, give the opposite sex your best shot. Don't hold back ladies (this includes you beachboy).



Q: Why are women like condoms?

A: They spend more time in your wallet than they do on your dick.


Q: Why do women have such small feet?

A: So they can get closer to the sink!
 
Have you heard about the new Barbie doll?

It's called Divorce Barbie. It comes with all Ken's stuff.



If a man says something in the woods and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?
 
What do you tell a woman with a black eye?

Nothing, you shouldn't have to tell her twice!

Boom-boom-tish, thank you thank you, I'm here 'til Thursday, try the veal!
 
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

A: The dog of course ... at least he'll shut up after you let him in.


Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?

A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.


Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?

A: You don't. There's a clock on the oven.
 
I like women alot

you just cant impose male constructs on them

I look at them as flowers that need love, but flowers also need a secure environment to bloom

:)
 
To The Powerful Women in my Life ----- Keep the Faith!

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor
in the morning,
Satan shudders and says 'OH SHIT... SHE'S AWAKE'
 
kyderby said:
To The Powerful Women in my Life ----- Keep the Faith!

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor
in the morning,
Satan shudders and says 'OH SHIT... SHE'S AWAKE'
Click to expand...
I was married to her!!!
 
Things Men Wished Women Knew:

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up - put it down.

3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

4. Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

5. Get rid of your cat.

6. Sunday = Sports.

7. Anything you wear is fine - really.

8. Women wearing wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

9. You have too many shoes.

10. Crying is blackmail.

11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

13. Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point-blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

14. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers.

15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

17. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

18. If something we said could be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

19. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

20. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

21. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

22. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

23. You have enough clothes.

24. Nothing says 'I love you' like sex.
 
xcn508.jpg
 
MORNING SEX

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in; She turned and said,
You've got to make love to me this very moment.'
His eyes lit up and he thought,

'This is my lucky day.'
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her
And then gave it his all;
Right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said,

'Thanks,'
And returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked,

'What was that all about?'
She explained,
'The egg timer's broken.'
 
This man was so paranoid about the size of his penis that he could never work up the courage to have sex. Then one day he fell in love with a nurse. One fine evening, they went back to her place. She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom. Totally mortified, he told her of his problem. "Don’t worry," she said. "I’m a nurse. I won’t laugh."
Blushing the man drops his trousers.
"It’s OK," she said. "I’ve seen lots smaller than that."
"Really?" the relieved elf asked.
She nodded. "Yes," she chuckled, "I used to work in the maternity unit."
 
Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal...
 
Men Are Like...
... Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

... Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

... Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

... Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

... Curling Irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

... Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.

... Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

... Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

... Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.

... Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

... Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
 
Husband: I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don’t you?
 
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, selfassured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so.

"That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, "I don't THINK so."
 
1. We can get laid anytime we want.
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk.
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.
5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg.
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class.
7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret.
8. We can marry a rich man and then not have to work.
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates.
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do is sleep with them.
11. Men light our cigarettes for us.
12. Men hold the door open for us.
13. We pout better. (Those puppy dog eyes always work!)
14. We're cuter.
15. We lie better.
16. We're better manipulators.
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch.
18. We always have food in the fridge.
19. We don't worry about losing our hair.
20. We always get to choose the movie.
21. We don't have to mow the lawn.
22. We don't have to take out the garbage.
23. we don't have to paint the house or walls.
24. PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men.
25. Cosmopolitan.
26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole.
27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold.
28. PMS is a legal defense for murder.
29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever.
30. We can masturbate more in a day than men.
31. 2 words - multiple orgasms.
32. We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals.
33. Sweat is sexy on us.
34. We never run out of excuses.
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often.
36. Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too.
37. We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.
38. We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time because men mess up so often.
39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner.
40. Women are cleaner.
41. Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didn't know).
42. We're better arguers.
43. We don't always have to think with our genitals.
44. Massage!!!!
45. We're better parents.
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night if we don't want to.
47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men.
48. We're flexible.
49. When women get pissed we don't destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can.
50. Menopause - thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50.
51. Menstruation - just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex.
52. Men in uniform.
53. There is no penis envy.
54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up.
55. It generally takes us less to get drunk.
56. We have a higher tolerance to pain.
57. We often get to cut in line.
58. Most women actually look good in short shorts - men DON'T.
59. Better tips.
60. Women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its just disgusting.
61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public.
62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume!
63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers, or carrying our books anytime we want.
64. We don't have excessive amounts of body hair.
65. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet.
66. Men will pay us for sex.
67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile.
68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return.
69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want.
70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us.
71. Women sweat less.
72. Women smell better.
73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - sex fixes all.
74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats.
75. Women don't get the humor in the three stooges.
76. Women have three accessible holes.
77. We don't get embarassed when buying tampons.
78. We're better gossips.
79. We have better fashion sense.
80. We're better shoppers.
81. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man.
82. Our friends don't pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone.
83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you).
84. We're all sitting on a gold mine - we know it and use it to our extreme advantage.
85. We don't have to drive when on a date.
86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked.
87. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line.
88. Women know how fake it.
89. Women look better naked.
90. We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing.
91. When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short.
92. Women do less time for violent crime.
93. Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up.
94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time anynight.
95. Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye."
96. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood.
97. Women never have to see combat.
98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves.
99. Women are sexier.
100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!
 
WhistleBritches said:
I like women alot

you just cant impose male constructs on them

I look at them as flowers that need love, but flowers also need a secure environment to bloom

:)
Click to expand...


No hate, its all in fun! I encourage the women to take shots at us.
 
kyderby said:
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, selfassured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so.

"That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, "I don't THINK so."
Click to expand...


Not your best alter bro!
 
Men say why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free...
I say why buy the whole pig for 7 ounces of sausage.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
uhoh! I got scolded by BM for using that one about a month ago. Tread carefully
:chomp:
Click to expand...

LOL I was trying to remember where I heard that one!! I guess it is too late to delete it since it has been quoted TWICE already.
 
SouthernLord said:
LOL I was trying to remember where I heard that one!! I guess it is too late to delete it since it has been quoted TWICE already.
Click to expand...


I think its a great joke! That one and this:


Q: Why do doctors spank babies when they are born?

A: To knock the dicks off the dumb ones.
 
If Women Ran the World

A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.

Medical research money would be spent on developing new birth control methods for men.

Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.

Baby-sitting, doing dishes and making beds would be considered "Macho".

The hem of men's pants would go up or down depending on the economy.

Men would be forced to purchase overpriced clothes every season.

Minnie Mouse would get equal billing with Mickey.

Fewer women would be dieting because the ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.

Overweight men would be encouraged to wear girdles.

PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.

Men would come with papers showing their true identity, marital and employment status, if they live with their mother, and whether they have had their shots.

Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.

Men would get reputations for sleeping around.

"Ms. Magazine" would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.

Men who designed women's shoes would be forced to wear them.

Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.

Men would be as attentive AFTER marriage as they were before.

Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.

Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks".

Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women make.

Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.

Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.

Men would learn phrases like: I'm sorry, I love you, You're beautiful, Of course you don't look fat in that outfit, Go to sleep, I'll take care of the baby, etc.

Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.

Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.

Men would pay as much attention to their women as their cars.

All toilet seats would be nailed down.

Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.

TV news segments on sports would never run longer than one minute.

All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.

Men would have their wedding rings permanently attached so they can't pretend to be single.

During mid-life crises, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year old boys.

Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.

After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.

For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.

A female employee would be noticed for her work performance, not her bra size.

Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.
 
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A: A battery has a positive side.


Q: Why did the woman cross the road?

A: Wait, better question, what is she doing out of the kitchen!?


Q:How do you turn a dish washer into a snow blower?

A: You give the bitch a shovel.


Q: Why don't women need drivers licenses?

A: There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.
 
SouthernLord said:
LOL I was trying to remember where I heard that one!! I guess it is too late to delete it since it has been quoted TWICE already.
Click to expand...

Too bad the every man's mother was ONLY a woman.

That joke is not funny - PERIOD... not now, not then, not ever.

Any man who thinks it is has lost ALL of my respect.

The rest of this thread is hysterical. But I got serious issue with this one *joke*.

Let's remember who carried us and brought us into this world and in many cases fed us from her body.

Carry on please.
 
NO MAAM Nine Commandments:

1. It's okay to call hooters "knockers" and sometimes "snack trays."
2. It is wrong to be French.
3. It's okay to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder.
4. Lawyers: see rule three.
5. It is okay to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes.
6. Everyone should car pool but me.
7. Bring back the word "stewardesses"
8. Synchronized Swimming is not a sport.
9. Mudwrestling is a sport.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
That joke is not funny - PERIOD... not now, not then, not ever.

Any man who thinks it is has lost ALL of my respect.
Click to expand...


I still don't understand why this bothers you so much. Its just like you stated, a joke. I don't think any of us feel this is factual information. Its really no different than some of the jokes about men that say we're only good for reproduction, we're only good for money, etc.
 
You know a man that dos not respect women or other people should not be held in high regard. People are people. Women and men are all people of different kinds and collars. These type of threads and people like the thread starters should be frowned on.

We can all throw a joke out there in good fun, but to attack women in general means your a peace of shit.
 
needtogetaas said:
You know a man that dos not respect women or other people should not be held in high regard. People are people. Women and men are all people of different kinds and collars. These type of threads and people like the thread starters should be frowned on.

We can all throw a joke out there in good fun, but to attack women in general means your a peace of shit.
Click to expand...


Are you stating I am attacking women?
 
needtogetaas said:
You know a man that dos not respect women or other people should not be held in high regard. People are people. Women and men are all people of different kinds and collars. These type of threads and people like the thread starters should be frowned on.

We can all throw a joke out there in good fun, but to attack women in general means your a peace of shit.
Click to expand...

Or me??? This is a parody thread and it should taken as just that, a parody. The joke was in poor taste, but i have nothing but respect for women. It was not meant as an attack on anyone, and I am sorry if came off that way.
 
javaguru said:
So what's your excuse. :)
Click to expand...

why should I have an excuse?

I was in a women's rights club at my university back home. I didn't like how some people treated women and I liked what the club stood for. Equal right's for women. Personally, I have the highest respect for women, especially the one's who make it big in this patriotical society.
 
the_alcatraz said:
why should I have an excuse?

I was in a women's rights club at my university back home. I didn't like how some people treated women and I liked what the club stood for. Equal right's for women. Personally, I have the highest respect for women, especially the one's who make it big in this patriotical society.
Click to expand...
I'm all for equal rights, the next time you have a flat tire flip a coin with your wife about who has to change the tire. :)
 
javaguru said:
I'm all for equal rights, the next time you have a flat tire flip a coin with your wife about who has to change the tire. :)
Click to expand...

And the next time I come home from working 12 hours, I'll flip a coin with my wife for who's going to do the dishes, cook, etc....Marital role are distributed equally or should be. Wives and husbands should be able to share anything.

A husband fixing a flat tire is just proof that chivalry is not dead. Even if I knew my wife would do it, I wouldn't want her too.
 
javaguru said:
I'm all for equal rights, the next time you have a flat tire flip a coin with your wife about who has to change the tire. :)
Click to expand...
Ditto. I do that now.

Let's also replace the 'stop the violence again women' groups with 'stop the violence period' groups.
 
SouthernLord said:
Or me??? This is a parody thread and it should taken as just that, a parody. The joke was in poor taste, but i have nothing but respect for women. It was not meant as an attack on anyone, and I am sorry if came off that way.
Click to expand...
How far and how many times do people have to joke about things like this before we relies the prick they really are though. Not talking about you but people in general. We can all hide behind a joke but when its a eg thing then we know who you are as a person.
 
needtogetaas said:
Are you? Or are you lifting them up and praising them with this thread? :rolleyes: I am having a hard time figuring it out.
Click to expand...


I didn't think so, I felt I clearly welcomed jokes about both sexes. But I assume you made that post with intent or reason, no?
 
I think this thread needs to change to posting jokes about some other human condition or mishap before it changes direction to the nasty or unknown.
 
EnderJE said:
Ditto. I do that now.

Let's also replace the 'stop the violence again women' groups with 'stop the violence period' groups.
Click to expand...
Your a man right. Are you going to lower yourself right now and say you need physical help against a women. Physically we all know man can beet the fuck out of a women.

There is stop the violence in general groups, but let me ask you do you feel like a man asking for what you are asking for. If you do then cut your sack off and join the women as the physically weaker.
 
the_alcatraz said:
I think this thread needs to change to posting jokes about some other human condition or mishap before it changes direction to the nasty or unknown.
Click to expand...
Okay, your picture looks like you have tits. Nice ones too. :p
 
EnderJE said:
Ditto. I do that now.

Let's also replace the 'stop the violence again women' groups with 'stop the violence period' groups.
Click to expand...
IME, wiminzes don't like that kind of equality. :)
 
needtogetaas said:
Your a man right. Are you going to lower yourself right now and say you need physical help against a women. Physically we all know man can beet the fuck out of a women.

There is stop the violence in general groups, but let me ask you do you feel like a man asking for what you are asking for. If you do then cut your sack off and join the women as the physically weaker.
Click to expand...

Agreed

Men are known to be physically stronger

However it is imp. to mention that women have been proven to withstand a great deal of pain more than a man...i.e. giving birth
 
needtogetaas said:
Your a man right. Are you going to lower yourself right now and say you need physical help against a women. Physically we all know man can beet the fuck out of a women.

There is stop the violence in general groups, but let me ask you do you feel like a man asking for what you are asking for. If you do then cut your sack off and join the women as the physically weaker.
Click to expand...


Ok, now you're just being an ass. Female on male violence is just as disgusting as when it's the other way around...and all it takes is some cop with a bullshit attitude on this like yours and some poor fucker gets the shaft even though he's done nothing wrong. Give your head a shake...and if you can't take this criticism...feel free to bomb away.
 
canadianhitman said:
Ok, now you're just being an ass. Female on male violence is just as disgusting as when it's the other way around...and all it takes is some cop with a bullshit attitude on this like yours and some poor fucker gets the shaft even though he's done nothing wrong. Give your head a shake...and if you can't take this criticism...feel free to bomb away.
Click to expand...

Bro, tbh I dnt see there is anything wrong with what needto said. I respect your opinions always and you know that, but calling needto an ass for giving his opinion on the matter is uncalled for, not to mention he said nothing illogical or unacceptable.
 
needtogetaas said:
Your a man right. Are you going to lower yourself right now and say you need physical help against a women. Physically we all know man can beet the fuck out of a women.

There is stop the violence in general groups, but let me ask you do you feel like a man asking for what you are asking for. If you do then cut your sack off and join the women as the physically weaker.
Click to expand...
Are you saying that you do not believe in equality? I don't think that's what you mean, but it sounds like it from your post.

Are you saying that you are bullet proof when a woman comes after you with a gun? Physically, you might be able to defend yourself from a physical attack, but there are ways to even the odds (ie she has a gun or a frying pan or a truck).
 
the_alcatraz said:
Bro, tbh I dnt see there is anything wrong with what needto said. I respect your opinions always and you know that, but calling needto an ass for giving his opinion on the matter is uncalled for, not to mention he said nothing illogical or unacceptable.
Click to expand...


Re-read what he said bro....and then consider for a minute that female on male violence is a serious problem in society...one that often goes undocumented because the men who are dealing with it are afraid nobody will take them seriously. In the same way needto dismissed it so easily. He also seems to be forgetting that there are some 160 pound men out there married to women who outweigh them be 100 pounds or more, so his comment that pretty much states that a man can easily beat down a woman physically is way off base. It hit a nerve, because I've seen it happen to a friend.
 
canadianhitman said:
Ok, now you're just being an ass. Female on male violence is just as disgusting as when it's the other way around...and all it takes is some cop with a bullshit attitude on this like yours and some poor fucker gets the shaft even though he's done nothing wrong. Give your head a shake...and if you can't take this criticism...feel free to bomb away.
Click to expand...
lmao ... dude ... this is EF ... people can post whatever ... they stay, they're banned, they leave ... whatever

lmao x 2 because I'm going after your post....
 
canadianhitman said:
Re-read what he said bro....and then consider for a minute that female on male violence is a serious problem in society...one that often goes undocumented because the men who are dealing with it are afraid nobody will take them seriously. In the same way needto dismissed it so easily. He also seems to be forgetting that there are some 160 pound men out there married to women who outweigh them be 100 pounds or more, so his comment that pretty much states that a man can easily beat down a woman physically is way off base. It hit a nerve, because I've seen it happen to a friend.
Click to expand...
I've had wiminz punch me in the nuts and face because "They were mad.":rolleyes:
 
canadianhitman said:
Re-read what he said bro....and then consider for a minute that female on male violence is a serious problem in society...one that often goes undocumented because the men who are dealing with it are afraid nobody will take them seriously. In the same way needto dismissed it so easily. He also seems to be forgetting that there are some 160 pound men out there married to women who outweigh them be 100 pounds or more, so his comment that pretty much states that a man can easily beat down a woman physically is way off base. It hit a nerve, because I've seen it happen to a friend.
Click to expand...

Bro, needto meant no offense or harm. If you know needto as well as I'd like to think I know he, he has nothing but respect for everyone - man & woman.

I don't want to try to explain his posts, but I'm assuming he meant to say that in the general scenario, men ARE in fact proven scientifically to be a lot stronger than women. There are special cases when a woman can "break" a man, but he just giving a general example.

Chill bro...dnt let C&C get under your skin....I've learned this - the HARD way

We're all buds here
 
the_alcatraz said:
Bro, needto meant no offense or harm. If you know needto as well as I'd like to think I know he, he has nothing but respect for everyone - man & woman.

I don't want to try to explain his posts, but I'm assuming he meant to say that in the general scenario, men ARE in fact proven scientifically to be a lot stronger than women. There are special cases when a woman can "break" a man, but he just giving a general example.

Chill bro...dnt let C&C get under your skin....I've learned this - the HARD way

We're all buds here
Click to expand...


Dont' worry, bro...I'm not going to jump up on a soapbox and keep it going...I just wanted to counter a statement I strongly disagreed with. And when I say 'just being an ass', that's not a serious putdown. When I say something like that, it's got about the same weight as if I had said "you're being dense"...or "you're being a smart-ass". Nothing seriously malicious intended.
 
canadianhitman said:
Dont' worry, bro...I'm not going to jump up on a soapbox and keep it going...I just wanted to counter a statement I strongly disagreed with. And when I say 'just being an ass', that's not a serious putdown. When I say something like that, it's got about the same weight as if I had said "you're being dense"...or "you're being a smart-ass". Nothing seriously malicious intended.
Click to expand...

Alright that's good.

On to bigger and better things then...
 
EnderJE said:
Are you saying that you do not believe in equality? I don't think that's what you mean, but it sounds like it from your post.

Are you saying that you are bullet proof when a woman comes after you with a gun? Physically, you might be able to defend yourself from a physical attack, but there are ways to even the odds (ie she has a gun or a frying pan or a truck).
Click to expand...
Yes of cource there are things to even the odds bro. Lets face it when it comes to physical abuse women have and always will take a lot of it. women are weaker physically and emotionally though they will fight tooth and nail to never admit it and maybe thats half there problem.

I am in no way saying I should or any one should kiss a womens ass. I am not saying we should all hand them the world ether.

I am saying respect there strengths and acknowledge there weakness even though they wont. Not put them down and degrade them for it but acknowledge it and work with it.
 
canadianhitman said:
Ok, now you're just being an ass. Female on male violence is just as disgusting as when it's the other way around...and all it takes is some cop with a bullshit attitude on this like yours and some poor fucker gets the shaft even though he's done nothing wrong. Give your head a shake...and if you can't take this criticism...feel free to bomb away.
Click to expand...
I have no problem with you saying I am being an ass bro. Could have chosen a better chose of words but its not like I am a bitch and can't take it.


Any person on person violence is disgusting. I hate it when a person is just defending them self and they get the shit end of the stick. I think police and courts should investigate things more before saying its always the mans fault.

Yes we all know it happens all the time. The man almost always gets fucked in the court. Thats not a womens fault thats the courts fault.
 
needtogetaas said:
I have no problem with you saying I am being an ass bro. Could have chosen a better chose of words but its not like I am a bitch and can't take it.


Any person on person violence is disgusting. I hate it when a person is just defending them self and they get the shit end of the stick. I think police and courts should investigate things more before saying its always the mans fault.

Yes we all know it happens all the time. The man almost always gets fucked in the court. Thats not a womens fault thats the courts fault.
Click to expand...
Can I quote the King? Rodney King," Can't we all just get along?" :)
 
needtogetaas said:
These type of threads and people like the thread starters should be frowned on.

We can all throw a joke out there in good fun, but to attack women in general means your a peace of shit.
Click to expand...
PuddleMonkey said:
Are you stating I am attacking women?
Click to expand...
needtogetaas said:
Are you? Or are you lifting them up and praising them with this thread? :rolleyes: I am having a hard time figuring it out.
Click to expand...


Why coat it with sarcasm? Don't hide your feelings, if you want to say I'm a piece of shit just come out and say I'm a piece of shit.
 
javaguru said:
You're a piece of shit..happy?

How is Jennifer... :)
Click to expand...


Dammit, you're not who I wanted to hear from! Now I'm gonna go finish doing the dishes by hand since my dish washer broke.

I try not to talk to Jennifer anymore.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
Why coat it with sarcasm? Don't hide your feelings, if you want to say I'm a piece of shit just come out and say I'm a piece of shit.
Click to expand...
are you blind, he said you are a piece of shit.... LOL
 
chazk said:
are you blind, he said you are a piece of shit.... LOL
Click to expand...


That is certainly the impression I got, but I'd like to make sure I'm not taking it the wrong way. Sometimes when people say something it doesn't come out the way they wanted. Other times it does.
 
... and here I was just enjoying the jokes.

Of course, Smurf's jokes about men where in terrible taste and I am horribly offended.

The irony of the last 3-4 pages of this thread are the men defending the wiminz. If the ladies stop and think about it, some guy feeling the need to rush into this thread and e-protect them is probably the greatest insult of all. Can't injure those fragile little girls with those nasty words now, can we?

And I'm still waiting for one of the ladies to e-protect me from Smurfy's mean post. Help me please!!!!
 
You can't make a joke, that's insensitive. You can't defend them, that's demeaning. I am convinced the only way to make some people happy ( regardless of gender ) is to never say anything, period.
 
NEO1 said:
You can't make a joke, that's insensitive. You can't defend them, that's demeaning. I am convinced the only way to make some people happy ( regardless of gender ) is to never say anything, period.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I'm beginning to think the only solution is to think they're just "words" and can't seem to really do much of anything to anyone. But I guess that wouldn't be as fun because we'd have to find something more substantial to get all worked-up about.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
I still don't understand why this bothers you so much. Its just like you stated, a joke. I don't think any of us feel this is factual information. Its really no different than some of the jokes about men that say we're only good for reproduction, we're only good for money, etc.
Click to expand...

It is NOT a joke.

What do you call a black kid with a bike?

A thief.

How come the hispanic kid didn't have a bike?

Didn't anyone tell you that spics are lazier than niggers?

^^^ Was that funny? I am CERTAIN that there are many of you who would think it was hysterical. :rolleyes:

How many times does it have to be explained that there are some things that are funny and some that are not.

It isn't a difficult concept to get. :whatever:

If you don't get offended by it cool, then PM it to one another but that sort of open hatred towards any group (yea, that applies to women to surprise, surprise) will no longer be tolerated on elite.
 
javaguru said:
I'm all for equal rights, the next time you have a flat tire flip a coin with your wife about who has to change the tire. :)
Click to expand...

The sexes are NOT equal. They are designed to work together synergistically, side by side. One is not above the other. The woman is the one that creates life but she can not do it without the man. She becomes vulnerable while she carries and nurtures HIS child, so then nature designed this so that he should protect and care for her while she protects and cares for his. Evolution has changed a lot, but not this one basic fact.

If a man would feel comfortable sitting in the car while his wife changed the tire, then who am I to judge them? :whatever:
 
As best I can estimate, the three most ostricized groups on EF (stistically speaking) are:

1) Homosexuals (by far -- estimate about 30-60 "MO" and "I'm str8" comments in C&C per night)

2) Republicans

3) Christians

Then you'd have your fringe insult groups like women, blacks, liberals, etc. etc.

I'd recommend "protecting" those groups first and foremost, if the goal of EF is to now be socially and politically correct.
 
mrplunkey said:
As best I can estimate, the three most ostricized groups on EF (stistically speaking) are:

1) Homosexuals (by far -- estimate about 30-60 "MO" and "I'm str8" comments in C&C per night)

2) Republicans

3) Christians

Then you'd have your fringe insult groups like women, blacks, liberals, etc. etc.

I'd recommend "protecting" those groups first and foremost, if the goal of EF is to now be socially and politically correct.
Click to expand...

Your recommendations have been duly noted. I'll get back to you on them when administration has had a chance to consider them. :)
 
All this open hatred toward woman needs to stop they are beautiful creatures that need to be worshipped dailey
 
hog#head#cheese said:
All this open hatred toward woman needs to stop they are beautiful creatures that need to be worshipped dailey
Click to expand...

I wouldn't go as far as saying that ALL women should be worshipped because clearly that isn't the case. Many shouldn't be allowed to breathe the same air as the rest of the planet.

My advice for men?

Just avoid those women that are not worthy. Step around them like you would a clump of trash on the street or some other unpleasant mess that you wouldn't want smeared onto the bottom of your shoe. No need to talk about them, just avoid them altogether. I mean why would you take into your mouth that which you wouldn't want stuck to the bottom of your shoe? :whatever:

Treat EVERYONE with respect as you respect yourself above all. And when you DO find a woman that is worthy don't let a day go by without letting her know how happy you are that she is in your life. If she does not reciprocate that, clearly she is NOT worthy.

I still don't understand why it became out of fashion to treat your lady well. My husband literally worships me and I do all that I can to let him know how much I appreciate it.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Your recommendations have been duly noted. I'll get back to you on them when administration has had a chance to consider them. :)
Click to expand...

Well, they better not MO it up like those damn Republicans and Christians always do.

Aw shit. I offended myself now.
 
mrplunkey said:
Well, they better not MO it up like those damn Republicans and Christians always do.

Aw shit. I offended myself now.
Click to expand...

Well then, would you say that a self-banning is in order?

:lmao:

That right there was funny. I don't care WHO you are!
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Well then, would you say that a self-banning is in order?

:lmao:

That right there was funny. I don't care WHO you are!
Click to expand...

No, I'm deeply offended. My feelings are easily hurt.

:) :) :)
 
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