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Raptorex
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Insane Woman Theory
(Beckett & Jones, 1998)
Abstract
A woman will do everything in her power to prevent that which she wants most.
Observations
Example 1
The Situation - A woman is falling in love with a man. The feelings are not unrequited. The woman is happier than she has ever been, and there is no reason to believe that things could get anything other than better. The more she stays with him, the more she falls in love, and vice versa. He feels the same way, and is equally happy.
The Result - She dumps him.
The Reasoning - She is too happy already, and if she doesn't dump him, she will get hurt too much in the possibility of an unexpected break up (for whatever unfeasible reason) or if he is the victim of a freak accident.
Example 2
The Situation - Same as situation 1, but the man has a female friend. She is worried that he will sleep with this woman, despite there being almost no possibility of this happening, and is paranoid about being dumped.
The Result - She sleeps with someone else. He finds out, and dumps her.
The Reasoning - She does not want to get hurt if she finds out that he has slept with this other woman. By sleeping with someone else, it makes it a lot less hard to deal with in the extremely unlikely circumstance that she finds out that he has done the same thing.
Example 3
The Situation - Same as situation 1, and the male is a really nice bloke.
The Result - She dumps him.
The Reasoning - She feels that he is far too nice for her, and is worried that she would hurt him if they continued to go out.
Example 4
The Situation - Same as situation 1, but she is worried that he will dump her, despite there being no reason to suspect this.
The Result - He dumps her.
The Reasoning - She is so paranoid about him dumping her that she picks up on everything he says, has a go at him and frequently gets into moods. The male tries to support her, but there is only so much he can take, as he is constantly being criticised.
Example 5
The Situation - The woman has a wardrobe containing both clothes that she likes, and clothes that she strongly dislikes. In other words, a normal wardrobe.
The Result - She only ever wears the clothes that she dislikes.
The Reasoning - When she first bought the offending garments, she liked them. This may seem like a redundant statement, but the reader must note the truly insane nature of the female and appreciate that the two things may be entirely unrelated. Initially, she liked the clothing so much that she didn't want to wear it out, resulting in her never wearing it. Thus the garment remained in her wardrobe until such a time that she didn't like it anymore. She then feels too guilty to throw it away given that she has never worn it, so endeavours to wear it out to justify getting rid of it.
Example 6
The Situation - Woman has dumped bloke, undoubtedly due to one of previously described cases. She has a house for the following year that has a shared room.
The Result - She ends up living with him.
The Reasoning - Despite the fact the she dumped him because they were spending too much time together, the female concludes that they should get back together again. She reasons that sharing a room would be ideal, as they could spend more time with each other.
Conclusion
These observations lead to the conclusion that when a woman is in an ideal situation she will somehow lay waste to it. Similarly, merely by fearing something her very actions will cause that realisation of her fear. Clearly the woman is nothing but insane.
(Beckett & Jones, 1998)
Abstract
A woman will do everything in her power to prevent that which she wants most.
Observations
Example 1
The Situation - A woman is falling in love with a man. The feelings are not unrequited. The woman is happier than she has ever been, and there is no reason to believe that things could get anything other than better. The more she stays with him, the more she falls in love, and vice versa. He feels the same way, and is equally happy.
The Result - She dumps him.
The Reasoning - She is too happy already, and if she doesn't dump him, she will get hurt too much in the possibility of an unexpected break up (for whatever unfeasible reason) or if he is the victim of a freak accident.
Example 2
The Situation - Same as situation 1, but the man has a female friend. She is worried that he will sleep with this woman, despite there being almost no possibility of this happening, and is paranoid about being dumped.
The Result - She sleeps with someone else. He finds out, and dumps her.
The Reasoning - She does not want to get hurt if she finds out that he has slept with this other woman. By sleeping with someone else, it makes it a lot less hard to deal with in the extremely unlikely circumstance that she finds out that he has done the same thing.
Example 3
The Situation - Same as situation 1, and the male is a really nice bloke.
The Result - She dumps him.
The Reasoning - She feels that he is far too nice for her, and is worried that she would hurt him if they continued to go out.
Example 4
The Situation - Same as situation 1, but she is worried that he will dump her, despite there being no reason to suspect this.
The Result - He dumps her.
The Reasoning - She is so paranoid about him dumping her that she picks up on everything he says, has a go at him and frequently gets into moods. The male tries to support her, but there is only so much he can take, as he is constantly being criticised.
Example 5
The Situation - The woman has a wardrobe containing both clothes that she likes, and clothes that she strongly dislikes. In other words, a normal wardrobe.
The Result - She only ever wears the clothes that she dislikes.
The Reasoning - When she first bought the offending garments, she liked them. This may seem like a redundant statement, but the reader must note the truly insane nature of the female and appreciate that the two things may be entirely unrelated. Initially, she liked the clothing so much that she didn't want to wear it out, resulting in her never wearing it. Thus the garment remained in her wardrobe until such a time that she didn't like it anymore. She then feels too guilty to throw it away given that she has never worn it, so endeavours to wear it out to justify getting rid of it.
Example 6
The Situation - Woman has dumped bloke, undoubtedly due to one of previously described cases. She has a house for the following year that has a shared room.
The Result - She ends up living with him.
The Reasoning - Despite the fact the she dumped him because they were spending too much time together, the female concludes that they should get back together again. She reasons that sharing a room would be ideal, as they could spend more time with each other.
Conclusion
These observations lead to the conclusion that when a woman is in an ideal situation she will somehow lay waste to it. Similarly, merely by fearing something her very actions will cause that realisation of her fear. Clearly the woman is nothing but insane.
