Men are pathetic!

[alien amp pharm]

Rewind back 4 years....

I was drinking keg beer at a buddies house on college football gameday with about 50 friends, male and female.

I clearly remember my good friend who is the same age as me saying "I think I am going to get married". His reasoning was "We aren't getting any younger".

Now everyone knew his girlfriend who was part of our 'group of friends' and knew she is a whinny, self-deserving, bitch.

Fast forward to today...

He informs me they will be trying to have a baby soon.
I told him "I hope you don't get mad at me, but I am telling you this because I consider you a close friend....Make absolutely sure you see yourself with this girl permanently before having a kid. I have seen my other friends go divorces and it's nasty for sure, but especially nasty when you have a kid involved" .

His reply was "I know and I only see divorce as something you do when the other person is unfaithful, NOT something you do just because you are miserable".

 

[alien amp pharm]

So he admits he is miserable (which is no surprise)

Since they have been married I have witnessed....

1. Him saying to me after a few months, "I don't know if I can do this the rest of my life"

2. She came into the marriage with ZERO assets except an old carolla. She now has a brand new loaded Accord.

3. He is now paying on her $27,000 student loan debts.

4. She has zero friends and I am not exagerating

5. She whines constantly

6. She faked a neck sprain when a bunch of us came into town and wanted to go to the lake

7. She made him stop smoking & is working on dipping

8. She never participates in anything, and expects him to do the same

9. She makes him cook and laughs at the fact she doesn't know how.

10. She got pissed off and stomped out of the room when he was joking around and changed the channel to HBO softcore porn while me and another buddy were visiting.

there are other things, but bottom line my friend is pathetic for ever marrying this girl, and even more pathetic for allowing it to continue.

Do you have friends like this?

 

[bluepeter]

I would say you but that would mean you'd have to actually be my friend.

So no.

 

[Powerbuilder333]

No.
You might try an intervention like the do for drug addicts.

 

[Sub-Zero]

i think everyone has to be in a relationship like that before they realize that they arefucking retarded for dealing with it...

the unlucky ones end up married to them for a while first

 

[heatherrae]

You seem to take lots of pleasure in ripping on your friend's marriage and his wife.

 

[blueta2]

Forget your whole friggin sob story....just end it at the title ;-)

 

[alien amp pharm]

I would say you but that would mean you'd have to actually be my friend.

So no.

I would punch you in the balls, but I need to ask your wife where she has them at first.

 

[alien amp pharm]

No.
You might try an intervention like the do for drug addicts.

That was why I said for him to think this over before making the mistake of having kids.

Of course I also tried talking sense into him before marriage, but that didn't work either and now he is living with it.

 

[jh1]

You seem to take lots of pleasure in ripping on your friend's marriage and his wife.

More of your bias!!!!

 

[ksharp01]

As much as your his friend and want to stop him from doing something you think will only hurt him in the long run........he ultimatly has to learn on his own.
We all learn and get wiser through these experiences.....TRUST ME!!!

and if he has a kid and it doesn't work with wife....he will never regret the kid.

 

[feisty11975]

Forget your whole friggin sob story....just end it at the title ;-)

 

[heatherrae]

More of your bias!!!!

Not a bias. I just don't see coming online and ripping on my gf's husband. I don't particularly like my best friend's husband but I wouldn't go around calling her pathetic or stupid for having married him. I think that is disrespectful to her and her choices.

 

[Sub-Zero]

As much as your his friend and want to stop him from doing something you think will only hurt him in the long run........he ultimatly has to learn on his own.
We all learn and get wiser through these experiences.....TRUST ME!!!

and if he has a kid and it doesn't work with wife....he will never regret the kid.

OL!

 

[bluepeter]

I would punch you in the balls, but I need to ask your wife where she has them at first.

The usual spot. Bangin against her curtains as I sodomize her.

 

[alien amp pharm]

You seem to take lots of pleasure in ripping on your friend's marriage and his wife.

This guy is a blast to hang around and now I hardly ever get to spend time with him.

It'd be one thing if he was happy and wanted to be with her 24/7/365 but he has admitted he isn't and doesn't.

I only wish he would grow some balls.

I wasn't exaggerating when I said she has zero friends. I hear negative comments about her all the time..... "Bill is a cool guy, but he married the wrong woman" ... "Man is his wife always a bitch like that?"... etc.

 

[BBR100]

I've got a friend in Fla who reminds me of your friend.
42 yrs old and married for the third time just over a year ago.
Girl's a total princess and loves telling him what to do. She keeps her days busy with massage, manicure, pedicure and personal trainer.
Baby's due next month.
Yeah, pathetic and miserable!

 

[alien amp pharm]

Not a bias. I just don't see coming online and ripping on my gf's husband. I don't particularly like my best friend's husband but I wouldn't go around calling her pathetic or stupid for having married him. I think that is disrespectful to her and her choices.

Well we had to endure your numerous "My ex is a jerk who abuses me!" threads, so I guess you will just have to get over it.

 

[heatherrae]

This guy is a blast to hang around and now I hardly ever get to spend time with him.

It'd be one thing if he was happy and wanted to be with her 24/7/365 but he has admitted he isn't and doesn't.

I only wish he would grow some balls.

I wasn't exaggerating when I said she has zero friends. I hear negative comments about her all the time..... "Bill is a cool guy, but he married the wrong woman" ... "Man is his wife always a bitch like that?"... etc.

ummmm...I hate to tell you this, but if he really wanted to be spending his time with you, he would. He has grown up and now wants to do stuff with his wife and has responsibilities. He isn't just going to tell you that. Instead, he blames it on the wife.

 

[alien amp pharm]

ummmm...I hate to tell you this, but if he really wanted to be spending his time with you, he would. He has grown up and now wants to do stuff with his wife and has responsibilities. He isn't just going to tell you that. Instead, he blames it on the wife.

X1000

 

[habitualhealth]

sounds like to me you miss your friend. c'mere, gimme a hug

 

[ksharp01]

This guy is a blast to hang around and now I hardly ever get to spend time with him.

It'd be one thing if he was happy and wanted to be with her 24/7/365 but he has admitted he isn't and doesn't.

I only wish he would grow some balls.

I wasn't exaggerating when I said she has zero friends. I hear negative comments about her all the time..... "Bill is a cool guy, but he married the wrong woman" ... "Man is his wife always a bitch like that?"... etc.

That tends to happen when one gets married...that is his family now. That's what your suppose to do.

 

[alien amp pharm]

So men should give up hanging out with his buddies, fishing, drinking, watching sports, etc. once they get married?

That truely is the thinking of females isn't it?

 

[alien amp pharm]

sounds like to me you miss your friend. c'mere, gimme a hug

 

[heatherrae]

Well we had to endure your numerous "My ex is a jerk who abuses me!" threads, so I guess you will just have to get over it.

It doesn't bug me that you are ripping on your alleged friend and emasculating him here. I was just making an observation.

 

[habitualhealth]

So men should give up hanging out with his buddies, fishing, drinking, watching sports, etc. once they get married?

That truely is the thinking of females isn't it?

Yep! You ready to settle down with me yet?

 

[jackangel]

That tends to happen when one gets married...that is his family now. That's what your suppose to do.

what the. and lol at he'll never regret the kid...i hope not, but you make it seem as if such a thing couldn't possibly happen, or has never happened.

ksharp01, really. nigga please.

 

[ksharp01]

So men should give up hanging out with his buddies, fishing, drinking, watching sports, etc. once they get married?

That truely is the thinking of females isn't it?

NO Not give it up but family should come first is all I am saying.
I have no problem with my beau doing any of those things AT ALL...I do draw a line with mine at the bar rooms....drinking affects judgement and my (ex) beau has nothing but single loser friends......I say losers not because they are single......simple because they are losers that think they are God's gift to women. The main two are in 30's, lives with mom and doesn't work and has no plans to.

 

[heatherrae]

So men should give up hanging out with his buddies, fishing, drinking, watching sports, etc. once they get married?

That truely is the thinking of females isn't it?

LOL...it will happen to you too, one day. When I was married, my hubby wanted to spend all his time with me except he liked to play golf every Saturday. Other than his golf buddies, his friends probably thought I didn't let him go out. Truth be told, he never had to ask me to go anywhere. He had open permission to go anytime he wanted.

I bet this is true with LOTS of relationships. Then, the friends get jealous and ask the guy why he doesn't hang out anymore. He doesn't want to hurt their feelings by saying, "I just am more settled down now." So, he says, "Oh sorry, dude, the wife said no."

 

[feisty11975]

So men should give up hanging out with his buddies, fishing, drinking, watching sports, etc. once they get married?

That truely is the thinking of females isn't it?

Oh hell no. I am all for my SO having friends and hanging out with them. As long as I can trust that person, go ahead have fun and be good. I'd expect the same though.

 

[alien amp pharm]

LOL...it will happen to you too, one day. When I was married, my hubby wanted to spend all his time with me except he liked to play golf every Saturday. Other than his golf buddies, his friends probably thought I didn't let him go out. Truth be told, he never had to ask me to go anywhere. He had open permission to go anytime he wanted.

I bet this is true with LOTS of relationships. Then, the friends get jealous and ask the guy why he doesn't hang out anymore. He doesn't want to hurt their feelings by saying, "I just am more settled down now." So, he says, "Oh sorry, dude, the wife said no."

Well I will agree with you up to a certain point.

I do know plenty of guys who are desperate and once they finally find a female they do everything in their power to please the girl, fullfilling her every demand.

Sadly this usually ends up with them calling me wanting to hang out once the girl dumps or divorces them because they've grown tired of a little boy with no testicles.

 

[BBR100]

LOL...it will happen to you too, one day. When I was married, my hubby wanted to spend all his time with me except he liked to play golf every Saturday. Other than his golf buddies, his friends probably thought I didn't let him go out. Truth be told, he never had to ask me to go anywhere. He had open permission to go anytime he wanted.

I bet this is true with LOTS of relationships. Then, the friends get jealous and ask the guy why he doesn't hang out anymore. He doesn't want to hurt their feelings by saying, "I just am more settled down now." So, he says, "Oh sorry, dude, the wife said no."

I agree with you right up until that last part.
No way a guy says that...even if it were true.

 

[Y_lifter]

Damn, you sure put a lot of thought into this issue with your "Friend"...

Is he BI ?

 

[heatherrae]

Well I will agree with you up to a certain point.

I do know plenty of guys who are desperate and once they finally find a female they do everything in their power to please the girl, fullfilling her every demand.

Sadly this usually ends up with them calling me wanting to hang out once the girl dumps or divorces them because they've grown tired of a little boy with no testicles.

No, what your not getting is that it isn't the woman's demands. Maybe the guy actually enjoys being with his wife more than you. GASP! You know, that can happen.

 

[Wulfgar]

No, what your not getting is that it isn't the woman's demands. Maybe the guy actually enjoys being with his wife more than you. GASP! You know, that can happen.

That is what all my married buddies try to tell me
somehow they like thier wives more than me!! I dont buy it for a second

 

[heatherrae]

Damn, you sure put a lot of thought into this issue with your "Friend"...

Is he BI ?

he needs a new man crush. ;-)

 

[feisty11975]

[/B]

I agree with you right up until that last part.
No way a guy says that...even if it were true.

my ex-husband used to blame me for everything. He'd make plans with people then tell them that I did not want to go or would not let him go. I used to get sooo pissed. Once we divorced, I called them all and told them the truth. Needless to say, they don't like him very much anymore. hahahahhaahahah

 

[Frisky]

do onto others....

I don't even need to finish that off for anyone to understand. NOW you get his side but honestly do you know her side. Not saying she's an angel but I sure the hell be he's no saint.

 

[Y_lifter]

I think the only people that are never miserable with their mate at one time
or another are on the LIFETIME network.

 

[bluepeter]

lol at the females on this thread purporting to know what all males think in terms of relationships.

 

[alien amp pharm]

So him telling me "I don't know if I can do this the rest of my life" was all just for show?

He was just telling me that because he didn't want to hurt my feelings about wanting to spend time with the wife more than me?

That makes perfect sense!

 

[Bikini Mod]

That is what all my married buddies try to tell me
somehow they like thier wives more than me!! I dont buy it for a second

LOL

My sister had a gf that she grew up with but NO ONE liked her choice of husband (the dude was a TOTAL ASS to his exwife - so much so that HIS MOTHER defended the ex-wife) but they had to either accept HER CHOICE or end the friendship. She just had a baby with the man (against medical advice, she has lupus). No one was happier than the exwife because now he had another baby and would stop fucking with HER KIDS...

Needless to say this woman's closest friends (one being my sister) and her own family seriously let her be because they could not stand her husband and how she further flushed her life down the toilet actually procreating with this man given his history with his children from his first marriage.

Either accept your friend's choices or move on. You really dont have any other alternative.

And for the record my husband (who had gobs of time to screw all sorts of women all over the globe) now VOLUNTARILY chooses to be with me. I get to go where I want and do what I want as does he, we just both decide to spend most of our time together. WE hang out together - his friends/my friends/his family/my family and US.

 

[javaguru]

Well, he's chosen his life.......I prefer divorce over misery but I'm not that much of a masochist....

 

[heatherrae]

So him telling me "I don't know if I can do this the rest of my life" was all just for show?

He was just telling me that because he didn't want to hurt my feelings about wanting to spend time with the wife more than me?

That makes perfect sense!

Dude, he is venting to you. Every relationship has ups and downs. Actions speak louder than words. If he wanted a divorce, he would get one. If he wanted to hang out more, he would. Unless she has a gun to his head, he is making his own choices.

Bottom line is, if you talk smack about someone's mate to them, even if they are doing it too, once they begin to feel better and are not mad at thier mate anymore, guess who they will be mad at? You.

 

[alien amp pharm]

I also bet he is afraid of what he will lose in a divorce.

She had nothing to her name except overwhelming debt. He has a nice house, 2 cars, lake house, pontoon boat, land, jet ski and two businesses.

Poor guy.

 

[bluepeter]

Dude, he is venting to you. Every relationship has ups and downs. Actions speak louder than words. If he wanted a divorce, he would get one. If he wanted to hang out more, he would. Unless she has a gun to his head, he is making his own choices.

Bottom line is, if you talk smack about someone's mate to them, even if they are doing it too, once they begin to feel better and are not mad at thier mate anymore, guess who they will be mad at? You.

Come on. Many men choose not to even try and get any 'freedom' in terms of going out with their friends because in order to do so, they need to endure endless nagging and fighting. So your 'unless she has a gun to his head' quote is actually kind of apt. For some males, just going along to get along is better than the alternative even if they are miserable.

 

[Y_lifter]

It's sorta like playing that TV gameshow "Lets Make A Deal"

You pick door #3 and get an OK prize.
Then you think "Damn, I wonder it there is something better behind door #2" ?

But of course, Door #2 could have been a Goat pulling a cart or other crap prize.

 

[heatherrae]

Come on. Many men choose not to even try and get any 'freedom' in terms of going out with their friends because in order to do so, they need to endure endless nagging and fighting. So your 'unless she has a gun to his head' quote is actually kind of apt. For some males, just going along to get along is better than the alternative even if they are miserable.

That is still his choice. I just know from experience, lots of men just are making excuses because they don't feel like running around anymore. Regardless, a good friend isn't going to rip on his friend or chide him into divorce. If he really wants to go out, he will. If he wants a divorce, he will get it.

 

[jackangel]

So him telling me "I don't know if I can do this the rest of my life" was all just for show?

He was just telling me that because he didn't want to hurt my feelings about wanting to spend time with the wife more than me?

That makes perfect sense!

bro, give it up, just because this is your life and your friend, doesn't mean you actually know what you're talking about. since you're a guy, you are (by definition) probably misrepresenting the woman's side of things. furthermore, you just don't understand how all married men are, and your friend's true feelings will forever remain a mystery to you.

there's simply no way you could have a clear picture of this situation, you should leave it up to strangers on the internet who know better simply because they've had different experiences and understand what the world is always about.

 

[alien amp pharm]

That is still his choice. I just know from experience, lots of men just are making excuses because they don't feel like running around anymore. Regardless, a good friend isn't going to rip on his friend or chide him into divorce. If he really wants to go out, he will. If he wants a divorce, he will get it.

Do you honestly believe the stuff you type or are you just intentionally f'ing with us for shits and giggles?

 

[javaguru]

I also bet he is afraid of what he will lose in a divorce.

She had nothing to her name except overwhelming debt. He has a nice house, 2 cars, lake house, pontoon boat, land, jet ski and two businesses.

Poor guy.

They're called pre-nups........I know a lot of guys who are unhappily married because they know how much they will lose in a divorce. How much will he lose by supporting her the rest of his life? You know that generally pre-marital assets are untouchable? Just sayin' It's the co-mingling that screws ya....

 

[heatherrae]

Do you honestly believe the stuff you type or are you just intentionally f'ing with us for shits and giggles?

1/2 and 1/2. Yes, I believe that you have only his side of the story on this, and yes I love effing with you for shits and giggles.

 

[bluepeter]

That is still his choice. I just know from experience, lots of men just are making excuses because they don't feel like running around anymore. Regardless, a good friend isn't going to rip on his friend or chide him into divorce. If he really wants to go out, he will. If he wants a divorce, he will get it.

No. See, this is the critical difference. In many cases, it isn't because the guy doesn't WANT to, it's because he no longer has the energy to deal with the endless headaches he would get from his wife. Believe me, as much as some guys would LOVE to go out with the guys occasionally, the consequences at home just aren't worth it.

 

[jackangel]

btw, did you mention her hotness or lack thereof? that's always a useful piece of information.

 

[heatherrae]

No. See, this is the critical difference. In many cases, it isn't because the guy doesn't WANT to, it's because he no longer has the energy to deal with the endless headaches he would get from his wife. Believe me, as much as some guys would LOVE to go out with the guys occasionally, the consequences at home just aren't worth it.

So, he CHOOSES not to do it because he doesn't want the wife to nag? He still chooses. That is his choice to make. I maybe have known 2 wives like that, in my experience. So, it happens, but it takes TWO to have a co-dependant relationship. However, in 99% of healthy marriages, people are going to settle in and go out less with their former drinking buddies.

 

[alien amp pharm]

btw, did you mention her hotness or lack thereof? that's always a useful piece of information.

He is no abercrombie model, hence why he married this girl...because he was desperate.

She is failry ugly. She use to like me before they got together but 1. She wasn't my type looks wise and 2. I wasn't dumb enough to be around her for more than a few minutes at a time let alone marry her.

I remember him talling her "You've got to stop acting the way you do or else all my friends will end up hating you"
We didn't have the nerve to tell him it was too late.

 

[velvett]

People will often stay in bad relationships because in the back of their mind they don't think they could do better or they are not sure anyone else would want them.

That said there are people that think being abused is a form of love.

AAP - you're friend is pathetic - I agree with everything you've said but most importantly he doesn't have the strength or backbone to have any control over his own life.

 

[alien amp pharm]

The bottom line here is that women love controlling their husbands. If it makes him happy, they must change it.

For the men it's either tuck your tail between your legs and go along with it and try to keep the peace
or do something about it and lose half or more of your assets.

That's marriage in a nutshell.

(Granted there are also men who enjoy being controlled. I actually know a few of those.)

 

[velvett]

The bottom line here is that women love controlling their husbands. If it makes him happy, they must change it.

For the men it's either tuck your tail between your legs and go along with it and try to keep the peace
or do something about it and lose half or more of your assets.

That's marriage in a nutshell.

Ok now I don't agree with you.

 

[sardonicone]

Rewind back 4 years....

I was drinking keg beer at a buddies house on college football gameday with about 50 friends, male and female.

I clearly remember my good friend who is the same age as me saying "I think I am going to get married". His reasoning was "We aren't getting any younger".

Now everyone knew his girlfriend who was part of our 'group of friends' and knew she is a whinny, self-deserving, bitch.

Fast forward to today...

He informs me they will be trying to have a baby soon.
I told him "I hope you don't get mad at me, but I am telling you this because I consider you a close friend....Make absolutely sure you see yourself with this girl permanently before having a kid. I have seen my other friends go divorces and it's nasty for sure, but especially nasty when you have a kid involved" .

His reply was "I know and I only see divorce as something you do when the other person is unfaithful, NOT something you do just because you are miserable".

Wow, this sounds familiar...

 

[alien amp pharm]

Ok now I don't agree with you.

Yes, but you also are not the typical female from what I know of you. You are an extremely rare breed, especially for an American Woman.

I could list numerous examples of why I think you are a good catch ... you remind me a lot of my girlfriend from what I can conclude.

 

[Frisky]

The bottom line here is that women love controlling their husbands. If it makes him happy, they must change it.

For the men it's either tuck your tail between your legs and go along with it and try to keep the peace
or do something about it and lose half or more of your assets.

That's marriage in a nutshell.

(Granted there are also men who enjoy being controlled. I actually know a few of those.)

hahahahah

honey that can and does go both ways...

 

[sardonicone]

LOL...it will happen to you too, one day. When I was married, my hubby wanted to spend all his time with me except he liked to play golf every Saturday. Other than his golf buddies, his friends probably thought I didn't let him go out. Truth be told, he never had to ask me to go anywhere. He had open permission to go anytime he wanted.

I bet this is true with LOTS of relationships. Then, the friends get jealous and ask the guy why he doesn't hang out anymore. He doesn't want to hurt their feelings by saying, "I just am more settled down now." So, he says, "Oh sorry, dude, the wife said no."

I totally disagree here. I think there are a lot more wives out there that try and put their husbands on lockdown than you'd think.

I know, because my wife was like that before we got married. Now, not so much. It only took her 8+ years to lighten up. It took me about 5 years to get tired of that shit. Needless to say.. conflict occured.

 

[alien amp pharm]

hahahahah

honey that can and does go both ways...

True

"that's marriage in a nutshell"

 

[heatherrae]

The bottom line here is that women love controlling their husbands. If it makes him happy, they must change it.

For the men it's either tuck your tail between your legs and go along with it and try to keep the peace
or do something about it and lose half or more of your assets.

That's marriage in a nutshell.

(Granted there are also men who enjoy being controlled. I actually know a few of those.)

ummm...last time I checked some men were guilty of this too.

 

[jackangel]

duderino, you shouldn't bother with that conclusion in this case. whether it's true or not, fuck it. if you've portrayed this situation accurately, he's a fool and he's responsible for getting his own ass out of it. you emphasized his attitude that divorce isn't a viable option, even if one is miserable. that's a fucking retarded point of view. focus on that more. make that your bottom line.

 

[ksharp01]

The bottom line here is that women love controlling their husbands. If it makes him happy, they must change it.

For the men it's either tuck your tail between your legs and go along with it and try to keep the peace
or do something about it and lose half or more of your assets.

That's marriage in a nutshell.

(Granted there are also men who enjoy being controlled. I actually know a few of those.)

I so can't agree with this.
Ya know if this is your friend you will have accept his choice and try maybe try to include the wife sometimes.
If my beau or husband had friends that I was never welcomed around then I would have a problem with that. Include her sometimes and then he will have a leg to stand on when he wants to spend time with you without her.

 

[heatherrae]

I totally disagree here. I think there are a lot more wives out there that try and put their husbands on lockdown than you'd think.

I know, because my wife was like that before we got married. Now, not so much. It only took her 8+ years to lighten up. It took me about 5 years to get tired of that shit. Needless to say.. conflict occured.

and you are drawing this conclusion based upon one example, your own? lol.

 

[alien amp pharm]

ummm...last time I checked some men were guilty of this too.

I just said that.

The difference is that when it happens to a woman (assuming she has a little self-esteem) instead of staying in the marriage and being miserable she divorces and benefits from taking assets & child support. Rarely does a female come into a marriage with more assets than the man and we all know how the law favors women in divorces.

 

[samoth]

The constant going back and fourth betwixt total generalities and complete specifics and particulars will assure that no one reaches a common ground.

 

[Frisky]

True

"that's marriage in a nutshell"

you are just still bitter about the 18 yr old virgin... get over it dammit

LOL

 

[sardonicone]

and you are drawing this conclusion based upon one example, your own? lol.

Do you think I'm the type of person to do that? You should know me better than that. I was merely adding in my own story as an example.

Truth be told, both sexes can/ and ARE be guilty of this. I just feel we shouldn't all be sitting here throwing out generalities.

 

[jackangel]

The constant going back and fourth betwixt total generalities and complete specifics and particulars will assure that no one reaches a common ground.

this is the credited [mothafuckin'] response. but it's the bread n butter of the c n c.

 

[samoth]

this is the credited [mothafuckin'] response. but it's the bread n butter of the c n c.

TITCR

 

[Frisky]

I just said that.

The difference is that when it happens to a woman (assuming she has a little self-esteem) instead of staying in the marriage and being miserable she divorces and benefits from taking assets & child support. Rarely does a female come into a marriage with more assets than the man and we all know how the law favors women in divorces.

Oh and ended up with all the debt in the end...

 

[alien amp pharm]

I so can't agree with this.
Ya know if this is your friend you will have accept his choice and try maybe try to include the wife sometimes.
If my beau or husband had friends that I was never welcomed around then I would have a problem with that. Include her sometimes and then he will have a leg to stand on when he wants to spend time with you without her.

She dislikes people (which she admits) and dislikes doing pretty much anything except shopping, eating out, or laying on the couch.

He and she came into town over the weekend and during superbowl Sunday about 15 of us were playing the Nintendo Wii. She was the only person that never participated despite numerous attempts to get her to. (yes other females were playing and loving it)

Over the summer I went to visit him. Me and about 8 other friends had planned to go out on the lake (he has a lake house, boat, and jet ski). That morning she suddenly developed "A bad neck cramp". I gaurantee you she was bullshitting. She told my friend "You can go if you want, but I'd rather you stay here and take care of me". Long story short we did not get to go to the lake. I ended up driving home immediately after.

 

[javaguru]

The constant going back and fourth betwixt total generalities and complete specifics and particulars will assure that no one reaches a common ground.

Isn't that almost every C&C thread?

 

[heatherrae]

I just said that.

The difference is that when it happens to a woman (assuming she has a little self-esteem) instead of staying in the marriage and being miserable she divorces and benefits from taking assets & child support. Rarely does a female come into a marriage with more assets than the man and we all know how the law favors women in divorces.

Actually, i don't know of any state that has a law that says a woman gets more. Most states say that the marital assets are divided equitably between the parties. That isn't true about men always having more assets going into a marriage either. I had more and made more $$$ than my hubby. Same with child support. I think 99% of states have adopted the "best interests of the child" standard in determining child custody. So, men are just as likey to get the kids and child support as the men. It has been my experience that men don't seek primary custody as often as women do, though.

 

[sardonicone]

Women are evil. Can't we agree on that?

 

[heatherrae]

She dislikes people (which she admits) and dislikes doing pretty much anything except shopping, eating out, or laying on the couch.

He and she came into town over the weekend and during superbowl Sunday about 15 of us were playing the Nintendo Wii. She was the only person that never participated despite numerous attempts to get her to. (yes other females were playing and loving it)

Over the summer I went to visit him. Me and about 8 other friends had planned to go out on the lake (he has a lake house, boat, and jet ski). That morning she suddenly developed "A bad neck cramp". I gaurantee you she was bullshitting. She told my friend "You can go if you want, but I'd rather you stay here and take care of me". Long story short we did not get to go to the lake. I ended up driving home immediately after.

What a bitch for not wanting to play Nintendo! I can see why you hate her so much.

 

[alien amp pharm]

Actually, i don't know of any state that has a law that says a woman gets more. Most states say that the marital assets are divided equitably between the parties. That isn't true about men always having more assets going into a marriage either. I had more and made more $$$ than my hubby.

Hence the reason I didn't say "always" in my post.

I can safely conclude that of all the divorces I've witnessed, 6 of the 7 the woman came out with more and the man less than pre-marriage.

I am not even adding child support into the equation.

 

[alien amp pharm]

What a bitch for not wanting to play Nintendo! I can see why you hate her so much.

My point is that she is like this with everything.

Spending the night once, we wanted to order a movie-on-demand. Nothing he and I decided on was good enough for her.

 

[heatherrae]

Hence the reason I didn't say "always" in my post.

I can safely conclude that of all the divorces I've witnessed, 6 of the 7 the woman came out with more and the man less than pre-marriage.

I am not even adding child support into the equation.

They usually get the marital home if they keep the kids, but they also get to pay the mortgage too, so it isn't as great as it seems.

Coming from experience of doing a few hundred divorces, it seems to me that most of the time it is split pretty darned fairly. There is a worksheet that I work up and pretty much look at all the columns of debt and assets. In the end marital debts and assets are divided pretty close to 50/50, as much as that may surprise you.

 

[sardonicone]

Tab makes more than me. I'm fucked.

 

[Y_lifter]

They usually get the marital home if they keep the kids, but they also get to pay the mortgage too, so it isn't as great as it seems.

Coming from experience of doing a few hundred divorces, it seems to me that most of the time it is split pretty darned fairly. There is a worksheet that I work up and pretty much look at all the columns of debt and assets. In the end marital debts and assets are divided pretty close to 50/50, as much as that may surprise you.

Apparently not in Mountain Holler Appalachia where he's at.

 

[heatherrae]

My point is that she is like this with everything.

Spending the night once, we wanted to order a movie-on-demand. Nothing he and I decided on was good enough for her.

LOL...it is so easy to be a little recalcitrant bitch with you. got you in a lather and all. I'm just pregnant and looking for a fight...

 

[eat big]

Kill the bitch.

Frame her.

Fuck her so he has to dump her.

Do something. This has to stop.

 

[alien amp pharm]

They usually get the marital home if they keep the kids, but they also get to pay the mortgage too, so it isn't as great as it seems.

Coming from experience of doing a few hundred divorces, it seems to me that most of the time it is split pretty darned fairly. There is a worksheet that I work up and pretty much look at all the columns of debt and assets. In the end marital debts and assets are divided pretty close to 50/50, as much as that may surprise you.

So lets use my friend as an example.

Say he had 2 houses, 1 car, a boat, 2 businesses and $10,000 savings before the marriage with no debt.

She had 1 car and $30,000 debt.

They divorce.

What would your worksheet say?

 

[velvett]

Yes, but you also are not the typical female from what I know of you. You are an extremely rare breed, especially for an American Woman.

I could list numerous examples of why I think you are a good catch ... you remind me a lot of my girlfriend from what I can conclude.

Ok, I'm too flustered now to say anything.






















THANKS. THAT WAS SWEET.

 

[alien amp pharm]

LOL...it is so easy to be a little recalcitrant bitch with you. got you in a lather and all. I'm just pregnant and looking for a fight...

If we ever met you'd totally jump my bones and I would totally let you





then you'd never hear from me again. All the while thinking "Where'd aap go?" "Why won't he return my PM s?" "Dang he was good"

 

[Frisky]

Sounds like you have just a tad bit of jealousy here... tee hee

 

[sardonicone]

I like the framing idea...

 

[Frisky]

So lets use my friend as an example.

Say he had 2 houses, 1 car, a boat, 2 businesses and $10,000 savings before the marriage with no debt.

She had 1 car and $30,000 debt.

They divorce.

What would your worksheet say?

she gets the house, the cars, the savings.... he gets his life back

lol

 

[heatherrae]

So lets use my friend as an example.

Say he had 2 houses, 1 car, a boat, 2 businesses and $10,000 savings before the marriage with no debt.

She had 1 car and $30,000 debt.

They divorce.

What would your worksheet say?

My worksheet would say that the premarital equity in the house blonged solely to him. The equity accrued during the marriage in the real estate would be split 50/50. Premarital savings is his. Premarital debt and her car is hers.

So, how long have they been married? She should expect to get 1/2 of only the MARITAL ASSETS. In my state is says that MARITAL property is divided equitably. This doesn't necessarily mean 50/50, but we usually start that out as a jumping off point.

This is assuming that they don't live in one of the weird states out west that do it differently and assuming there is no premarital agreement.

I don't think you understand the concept of MARITAL property. This means property acquired during the marriage. In all but a few states, only marital property is subject to divisions. inheritances are also not usually subject to division.

Of course the judge can order alimony, but alimony is getting pretty unusual in my state, especially if both are able to work.

 

[ksharp01]

She dislikes people (which she admits) and dislikes doing pretty much anything except shopping, eating out, or laying on the couch.

He and she came into town over the weekend and during superbowl Sunday about 15 of us were playing the Nintendo Wii. She was the only person that never participated despite numerous attempts to get her to. (yes other females were playing and loving it)

Over the summer I went to visit him. Me and about 8 other friends had planned to go out on the lake (he has a lake house, boat, and jet ski). That morning she suddenly developed "A bad neck cramp". I gaurantee you she was bullshitting. She told my friend "You can go if you want, but I'd rather you stay here and take care of me". Long story short we did not get to go to the lake. I ended up driving home immediately after.

Well, doesn't sound like there is much you can do but maybe let your friend go or be satisfied with the way things are. He won't change until he is ready.

 

[alien amp pharm]

Well, doesn't sound like there is much you can do but maybe let your friend go or be satisfied with the way things are. He won't change until he is ready.

I know. The only thing I said is "Make sure you plan on being with this broad permanently before you consider having a kid"

He admitted being miserable and everyone can see it. Bringing a kid into a bad marriage isn't fair to the kid and will only add to problems down the road.

I was called jeaous, a bad friend, and a marriage wrecker in this thread, but in reality I am being a good friend.

The ultimate decisions are his, but great advice should never be withheld. I am glad people wiser and experienced told me important things while growing up.

 

[heatherrae]

dude, you are keeping track of his marital assets like you are his accountant or something. Let it go! lol.

 

[Cutiebaby]

I agree with the title of this thread

 

[alien amp pharm]

dude, you are keeping track of his marital assets like you are his accountant or something. Let it go! lol.

I've known this guy for years. We are good friends. I know what he owns as does he me. The $10,000 savings was ficticous.

I've also known his wife equally as long. Although he volunteerly told me how much in student loans she owes because he was complaining about it.

 

[ksharp01]

I know. The only thing I said is "Make sure you plan on being with this broad permanently before you consider having a kid"

He admitted being miserable and everyone can see it. Bringing a kid into a bad marriage isn't fair to the kid and will only add to problems down the road.

I was called jeaous, a bad friend, and a marriage wrecker in this thread, but in reality I am being a good friend.

The ultimate decisions are his, but great advice should never be withheld. I am glad people wiser and experienced told me important things while growing up.

It does suck.
I had a friend and no one liked her husband either. Every time we tried to hang out he would get drunk and get pissy with everyone. In time most of us got tired of it and slowly but surely stopped going around. She had one kid and then one with him, I knew she wasn't happy with him and I know that he was even abusive to her. She did in time split with him but so much time had passed that we eventually lost touch. She isn't even the same fun loving person she once was.