love hurts, love scars, etc.

[Lao Tzu]

ok. i think i have felt romantic love 4x in my life.
in 2 of those situations the girl loved me back. in one i told the girl & she wasn't interested & in another i never told the girl. 50/50 odds aren't bad.

my question is, for anyone who knows, why is it that stereotypically it is always men who loves the woman but the woman who isn't interested? i can't recall any events where a woman said
'i love you, you know'
'thats nice, but im not interested in you as anything more than a friend. oh look, tire barn is having a sale, etc)'.

am i being biased, or am i right that it is usually men express unrequited love for women who aren't interested.

if i am right, why is that. is it because women desire more substance and are therefore more picky, or what.

i'm reminded of a guy i know. he's somewhat interesting, and i just found out he is in love with a woman in my social circle who doesn't love him back. the woman has terribly low self esteem & is now in love with another person in the circle.

i can think of 3 instances offhand in my social circle where a man expressed romantic love for a woman who didn't recripocate, but 0 instances where a woman did that for a man. why?

why can't love be user friendly like windows 98? designed to accomidate the user. instead it is arbitrary, represses reason, hurts like hell & usually fails 90% of the time, causing habitual pain 30-40% (a guess) of the time. read about canadian oak or patkob2001.


i will leave you with a quote from the song 'love' by the smashing pumpkins


love, love, it's who you know.

 

[Taps]

I've noticed that as well. Maybe not to the same degree as you, but I'll admit that most of my male friends have fallen in love with girls who haven't loved them back.

I was gonna post more, but fuck...I need to go to bed.

T.

 

[KAYNE]

YOU CANT CHOOSE WHO YOU LOVE IS THE OLD SAYING. I WISH I COULD. I WAS "IN LOVE" ONE TIME IN MY LIFE. THE GIRL I WAS WITH RECENTLY, I LOVE, BUT NOT NEARLY TO THE DEGREE OF MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE OF VARIOUS REASONS LIKE I CAN HONESTLY SAY I CAN WALK AWAY FROM THIS ONE WITHOUT EXPERIENCING HALF THE AMOUNT OF PAIN THAT I DID FROM THE FIRST ONE. I WOULD GET OVER THIS RELATIONSHIP QUICK AS OPPOSED TO MY PREVIOUS ONE.

TO ADDRESS YOUR POST, I HAVENT REALLY NOTICED A DIFFERENCE IN MALES OR FEMALES BEING IN LOVE MORE THAN THE OTHER. I KNOW FEMALES IN LOVE WITH THE OTHER, AND VICE VERSA.

I'M RAMBLING........SORRY........I JUST GOT FINISHED STUDYING FOR FINANCE AND THAT TOOK 4 HOURS SO I'M GOING TO BED NOW. I HAVE TO BE UP IN THREE HOURS.

KAYNE

 

[flickenu]

you can't resist what you can't have, thats pretty much all there is to it.

 

[HamHock]

When you fall in love with a chick, you act like it, and chicks prefer dickheads who don't appear too interested. They also like it if you got bank, a nice ride, and a donkey dick.

 

[Lao Tzu]

When you fall in love with a chick, you act like it, and chicks prefer dickheads who don't appear too interested. They also like it if you got bank, a nice ride, and a donkey dick.

shall i add you to the list of those in my social circle(s) who has been rejected by a woman he loves?

 

[Draggon]

I don't think that it is fair to say that men fall in love with women a lot more that women fall in love with men. Just from my experiences I am always the one that gets stuck with pricks. And after a few times of that you don't let your guard down as easily. You are not biased when you say that. It just comes from what you have seen or experienced. It's hard to find someone that will return the same kind of feeling that you have toward them.

It is very frustrating now a days. You just can't find anyone worth a darn. Especially around here. I thought I had but nope either he was scared or what. I don't know and probably never will.

But, you are right to feel the way you do. Just remember it does go both ways.

 

[Lao Tzu]

But, you are right to feel the way you do. Just remember it does go both ways.

yeah. but i don't like love. i am tired of the stupidity of it all. i would rather not have these needs than have them manipulated like this.

i remember telling a girl who didn't love me back 'why can't i feel this way about my dad' as my relationship with him is kinda fucked up right now and emotions like that directed at a man who i have to see everyday would be much more productive than wasting them on someone who considers me just another friend & a mild annoyance.

a woman loved me a few years ago & i didn't really feel it back. now i love(d) someone who doesn't love me back, but she is also in love with someone who broke up with her. it is very stupid at this point. stupid & counterproductive to be this infantile.

 

[Draggon]

It's not stupid. You are just human.

As for the relationship with your dad, I know exactly how you feel. I didn't understand why I couldn't feel any type of love for him. But, finally I had to sit down and talk to him. Explain how I felt and realize that he is human too. And that I had to understand the type of person he was. we have a better relationship now than we have ever had. I'm not saying it's easy but, sometimes you have to be the "adult" in the situation. (what ever you issues are with your dad).

As for not liking love. I can definitely understand. It is a very complex issue. Right now I'm trying to stay far away. (hurt real bad). Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, if someone doesn't love you as much it just doesn't workout. But, don't give up you'll fall in love with someone that will love you as much. Just have faith.

When? I can't tell you (waiting for that myself)

But, you do have control over the relationship with your Father. So work on that. Then other will happen when it's time!

 

[Lao Tzu]

It's not stupid. You are just human.

As for the relationship with your dad, I know exactly how you feel. I didn't understand why I couldn't feel any type of love for him. But, finally I had to sit down and talk to him. Explain how I felt and realize that he is human too. And that I had to understand the type of person he was. we have a better relationship now than we have ever had. I'm not saying it's easy but, sometimes you have to be the "adult" in the situation. (what ever you issues are with your dad).

As for not liking love. I can definitely understand. It is a very complex issue. Right now I'm trying to stay far away. (hurt real bad). Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, if someone doesn't love you as much it just doesn't workout. But, don't give up you'll fall in love with someone that will love you as much. Just have faith.

When? I can't tell you (waiting for that myself)

But, you do have control over the relationship with your Father. So work on that. Then other will happen when it's time!

its nice that you are concerned, but it isn't really that bad. there just isnt any communication.

PM me with info on how you worked stuff out with him though. i would like to hear it.

i like love, i just don't like how un-user friendly it is. it inhibits rational thought, is addictive, hardly ever works out, happens arbitrarily, etc.
if i could feel that way in a controlled, intellegent fashion i would be ok with it. but it never works that way.
but as i said, i have a story about how stupid love is.

a girl used to love me 2 years ago. but i didn't love her
while she loved me unrequited, another man (her ex) loved her.
currently i am recovering from loving a woman who doesn't love me but who does love her ex, who doesn't love her back.

it is very very stupid at this point.