love hurts, love scars, etc.

[Lao Tzu]

ok. i think i have felt romantic love 4x in my life.
in 2 of those situations the girl loved me back. in one i told the girl & she wasn't interested & in another i never told the girl. 50/50 odds aren't bad.

my question is, for anyone who knows, why is it that stereotypically it is always men who loves the woman but the woman who isn't interested? i can't recall any events where a woman said
'i love you, you know'
'thats nice, but im not interested in you as anything more than a friend. oh look, tire barn is having a sale, etc)'.

am i being biased, or am i right that it is usually men express unrequited love for women who aren't interested.

if i am right, why is that. is it because women desire more substance and are therefore more picky, or what.

i'm reminded of a guy i know. he's somewhat interesting, and i just found out he is in love with a woman in my social circle who doesn't love him back. the woman has terribly low self esteem & is now in love with another person in the circle.

i can think of 3 instances offhand in my social circle where a man expressed romantic love for a woman who didn't recripocate, but 0 instances where a woman did that for a man. why?

why can't love be user friendly like windows 98? designed to accomidate the user. instead it is arbitrary, represses reason, hurts like hell & usually fails 90% of the time, causing habitual pain 30-40% (a guess) of the time. read about canadian oak or patkob2001.


i will leave you with a quote from the song 'love' by the smashing pumpkins


love, love, it's who you know.

 

[Taps]

I've noticed that as well. Maybe not to the same degree as you, but I'll admit that most of my male friends have fallen in love with girls who haven't loved them back.

I was gonna post more, but fuck...I need to go to bed.

T.

 

[KAYNE]

YOU CANT CHOOSE WHO YOU LOVE IS THE OLD SAYING. I WISH I COULD. I WAS "IN LOVE" ONE TIME IN MY LIFE. THE GIRL I WAS WITH RECENTLY, I LOVE, BUT NOT NEARLY TO THE DEGREE OF MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE OF VARIOUS REASONS LIKE I CAN HONESTLY SAY I CAN WALK AWAY FROM THIS ONE WITHOUT EXPERIENCING HALF THE AMOUNT OF PAIN THAT I DID FROM THE FIRST ONE. I WOULD GET OVER THIS RELATIONSHIP QUICK AS OPPOSED TO MY PREVIOUS ONE.

TO ADDRESS YOUR POST, I HAVENT REALLY NOTICED A DIFFERENCE IN MALES OR FEMALES BEING IN LOVE MORE THAN THE OTHER. I KNOW FEMALES IN LOVE WITH THE OTHER, AND VICE VERSA.

I'M RAMBLING........SORRY........I JUST GOT FINISHED STUDYING FOR FINANCE AND THAT TOOK 4 HOURS SO I'M GOING TO BED NOW. I HAVE TO BE UP IN THREE HOURS.

KAYNE

 

[flickenu]

you can't resist what you can't have, thats pretty much all there is to it.

 

[HamHock]

When you fall in love with a chick, you act like it, and chicks prefer dickheads who don't appear too interested. They also like it if you got bank, a nice ride, and a donkey dick.

 

[Lao Tzu]

When you fall in love with a chick, you act like it, and chicks prefer dickheads who don't appear too interested. They also like it if you got bank, a nice ride, and a donkey dick.

shall i add you to the list of those in my social circle(s) who has been rejected by a woman he loves?

 

[Draggon]

I don't think that it is fair to say that men fall in love with women a lot more that women fall in love with men. Just from my experiences I am always the one that gets stuck with pricks. And after a few times of that you don't let your guard down as easily. You are not biased when you say that. It just comes from what you have seen or experienced. It's hard to find someone that will return the same kind of feeling that you have toward them.

It is very frustrating now a days. You just can't find anyone worth a darn. Especially around here. I thought I had but nope either he was scared or what. I don't know and probably never will.

But, you are right to feel the way you do. Just remember it does go both ways.

 

[Lao Tzu]

But, you are right to feel the way you do. Just remember it does go both ways.

yeah. but i don't like love. i am tired of the stupidity of it all. i would rather not have these needs than have them manipulated like this.

i remember telling a girl who didn't love me back 'why can't i feel this way about my dad' as my relationship with him is kinda fucked up right now and emotions like that directed at a man who i have to see everyday would be much more productive than wasting them on someone who considers me just another friend & a mild annoyance.

a woman loved me a few years ago & i didn't really feel it back. now i love(d) someone who doesn't love me back, but she is also in love with someone who broke up with her. it is very stupid at this point. stupid & counterproductive to be this infantile.

 

[Draggon]

It's not stupid. You are just human.

As for the relationship with your dad, I know exactly how you feel. I didn't understand why I couldn't feel any type of love for him. But, finally I had to sit down and talk to him. Explain how I felt and realize that he is human too. And that I had to understand the type of person he was. we have a better relationship now than we have ever had. I'm not saying it's easy but, sometimes you have to be the "adult" in the situation. (what ever you issues are with your dad).

As for not liking love. I can definitely understand. It is a very complex issue. Right now I'm trying to stay far away. (hurt real bad). Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, if someone doesn't love you as much it just doesn't workout. But, don't give up you'll fall in love with someone that will love you as much. Just have faith.

When? I can't tell you (waiting for that myself)

But, you do have control over the relationship with your Father. So work on that. Then other will happen when it's time!

 

[Lao Tzu]

It's not stupid. You are just human.

As for the relationship with your dad, I know exactly how you feel. I didn't understand why I couldn't feel any type of love for him. But, finally I had to sit down and talk to him. Explain how I felt and realize that he is human too. And that I had to understand the type of person he was. we have a better relationship now than we have ever had. I'm not saying it's easy but, sometimes you have to be the "adult" in the situation. (what ever you issues are with your dad).

As for not liking love. I can definitely understand. It is a very complex issue. Right now I'm trying to stay far away. (hurt real bad). Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, if someone doesn't love you as much it just doesn't workout. But, don't give up you'll fall in love with someone that will love you as much. Just have faith.

When? I can't tell you (waiting for that myself)

But, you do have control over the relationship with your Father. So work on that. Then other will happen when it's time!

its nice that you are concerned, but it isn't really that bad. there just isnt any communication.

PM me with info on how you worked stuff out with him though. i would like to hear it.

i like love, i just don't like how un-user friendly it is. it inhibits rational thought, is addictive, hardly ever works out, happens arbitrarily, etc.
if i could feel that way in a controlled, intellegent fashion i would be ok with it. but it never works that way.
but as i said, i have a story about how stupid love is.

a girl used to love me 2 years ago. but i didn't love her
while she loved me unrequited, another man (her ex) loved her.
currently i am recovering from loving a woman who doesn't love me but who does love her ex, who doesn't love her back.

it is very very stupid at this point.

 

[Draggon]

I will PM you with info on how I work stuff out with my father.

As for the other. It's not stupid just a common case of where someone had stronger feelings for for the other and it wasn't returned. Sometimes we do confuse a strong romantic connection with love. You can obviously Love someone (we love a close friend & family ) But, when it's true love you want be able to do anything about it. And always remember what ever is ment to be will be because, love knows no boundaries

 

[Big Brother Val]

I don't know. I wish I could say. If I could, I wouldn't be in the situation I am now. Totally, completely in love with a woman... who won't even have a real conversation with me anymore. Why am I hangin' on? Hopin' to recover what we had.

There's no answer. People want what they can't have. If they KNOW they can have it, then it's not as interesting. Maybe telling someone that you love them is the problem.

But who really knows.

 

[Draggon]

Nordstrom Check you PM


Val,

All I can say is that she's not th one for you. I know it's not any comfort but, I do know exactly how you feel. But, you really have to stop thinking about the future and look at today. And when your thoughts move to your current circumstances reverse them and think about somthing else. And definately don't let her get the best of you. Keep your head up..

 

[The_Ghost]

I have been in love 3 times in my life and have been lucky enough that all 3 woman loved me as well. It was all good except for the last one who's love for me wasn't as strong as my love for her.

One thing I don't do is tell a woman I love her before she tells me she loves me. I might know it but I don't say it. I have seen to many friends relationships go down the tubes when they said they loved their woman first. Maybe its crazy but it is just the way it is for me.

 

[Lord_Suston]

Cut the crap,
All I know is that If one sex likes the other then the other doesn't like them. If you want a girl then be a dick tyo one that always attracts them. Men always say they are in love cause women are afraid to.... If you want a nice women try to find one that doesn't speak english or has never had sex as is real freak but she doesn't know it yet.

 

[Milhouse]

I have been in love 3 times in my life and have been lucky enough that all 3 woman loved me as well. It was all good except for the last one who's love for me wasn't as strong as my love for her.

One thing I don't do is tell a woman I love her before she tells me she loves me. I might know it but I don't say it. I have seen to many friends relationships go down the tubes when they said they loved their woman first. Maybe its crazy but it is just the way it is for me.

You know what it's not crazy it's true. What I do find funny in my own life with a few eceptions is that the chicks who want me I dont want. And the ones I want don't want me.

The other funny thing that has happened on and off over the years is that when I made that mistake of expressing my feelings first for some reason it fucks up. And they go with some cocksmoker who treats em like shit. Then a few weeks later I get the call saying how they should have been with me and they made a mistake and I am the nice one blah blah blah. And then I say "well you had your chance and you blew it. If you had of said this weeks ago yep it would be ok, but now I am over you and am not interested anymore"(I do this even if I am interested, not a doormat, even if it hurts like shit)

 

[Milhouse]

Forgot to add that presently I have been in love with someone but it aint gonna happen. She is a good friend anyways and I have other stuff to deal with so am strong enough to put my feelings aside now and take care of myself.

 

[Frackal]

Frackal Wisdom:

Love is fuckin' crazy. You may quote me on that.

 

[Mighty P]

Look at it this way. If she doesn't want you, then she's not worth your time. Fuck her! Just blow her off. It's hard as hell but you're better than that. Especially if she won't even have a conversation with you. Go find someone who will appriciate you. They're out there, but they don't just fall into your lap. You gotta put yourself in situations to meet people. Just try to make more female friends, the love thing will come when it comes.

 

[freshr1]

I've said it a thousand times ... dont get attached to a girl unless she's the one you wanna marry & have kids with.

Why go "steady" with a girl and have a quasi-marriage, when all you really want is to lay some pipe? I like my freedom thankyouvermuch, and I meet a lot of girls whom I have fun with. Cause that's all I want. I've been in "serious" relationships of course, but why go through that crap and then in the end suffer for months while your training goes to hell, your school/work get fucked over and you ignore all your REAL friends? When I was younger I thought I needed to be loved, but that's bullshit. When I'm ready to settle down I'll meet someone who I think will make a good mother.

In the mean time, I'll just screw around

 

[Longhorn85]

i will leave you with a quote from the song 'love' by the smashing pumpkins


love, love, it's who you know. [/B]

How about a better song that you started in the thread title? Love Hurts by Nazareth from the Hair of the Dog Album circa 1974?

"Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and mars..."

I had the 45 as a kid.

 

[MaGilicuti]

Love sux if it exists. But what you say is true, I've seen a lot more guys hurt then girls. In the movies girls are the supposed romantic types but I think guys are much more romantic. I don't know what women are looking for really...

 

[daised]

i love puc. that doesn't suck

 

[PHATchik]

I'll totally disagree with you. I have fallen for guys before and they didn't return the feelings. So don't say that women are the ones that don't return the feelings. I've had my heart broken before because the guy didn't feel the same when I actually worked up the nerve to tell him. It goes both ways Nordstrom.

 

[Austin316]

This is addressed to the title of this post

NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!

 

[Lao Tzu]

I'll totally disagree with you. I have fallen for guys before and they didn't return the feelings. So don't say that women are the ones that don't return the feelings. I've had my heart broken before because the guy didn't feel the same when I actually worked up the nerve to tell him. It goes both ways Nordstrom.

i know. like i said, i have been loved 2x but not felt it back and felt love 2x and not had it returned. in one of the instances where i felt it the other person was still in love with an ex who didn't love her back.

its just stupid, if you ask me. to make such strong emotions so aribtrary & inefficient.