love at first sight or love in time?

[flexed1]

have been with someone a few months who makes me feel very complete and at ease. I ma able to be myself, relax in my home, and not walk on egg shells or think what my other half maybe doing. I have had 3 long term relationships all with folks I loved right away. I broke up recently with someone here in Austin as we where like oil and water. The funny thing was I have never loved someone more than this person and still miss and think about them. There was just no trust from my side and tons of drama. Guess my question is as this new found relationship goes forward is it possible to fall in love or is my history of love at first sight what's right for me? My recent ex and I clicked sexually, mentally, and physically we just could not get along and as I am very busy with work decided I did not want chaos in my life. this new person is always in my house, we eat out, watch movies just no sex as I don't feel the attraction yet. Will it come or is part of this getting over someone I loved very much and still have feelings for or are we destine do be friends?

sorry its long I am confused right now. ( that's a first)

 

[Kahn]

Be yourself first and if it comes, it wil come. If not, you got a cool friend. Enjoy which ever way it goes.

 

[smallmovesal]

i'm destined to be alone and unhappy.


what is the point of being here?

 

[HighIntensity]

could come with time...but the best love is love at first site

 

[dballer]

me too. there is no point. Just live and die.

 

[flexed1]

 

[Kahn]

Flexed. I obsess about the last one till i get sick of thinking of the person. Its normal to think of past loves. You'll put in your time and move on. Stay friends with this honey till it is obvious its more than that, if it ever is. Hell, the love of your life hasn't even walked in front of you yet, but she's coming.

 

[flexed1]

I though my 4 year was the " love of my life" but I was dumped because I competed. This one supports all I do I just don't see myself falling but I am comfortable. Maybe time will heal the past and accelerate this one?

 

[flexed1]

up before bed

 

[MasterMind]

i'm destined to be alone and unhappy.


what is the point of being here?

I hope your being sarcastic and if your not.....then all I have to say is that you have all the qualities in you that would attract a good guy so if guys were you live don't seem to want you then they are dumbasses

And getting back to the post..your in love when you think your in love......but it comes with risks cause sometimes the other person doesn't love you......if only life were perfect

 

[AAP]

flexed- are you my alter ego or something? I could have written this myself. I have asked myself in the past.... was it love or lust? Your story is so familiar it is scarey. When you figure it out please let me know.

 

[jeep310]

i'm destined to be alone and unhappy.


what is the point of being here?

Now why would you say that? I felt the same way till one day I went to the mall. There she was, the love on my life, with her ass stuck in a bike rack! I can't remember now if it was love at first sight or that I felt sorry for her stuck like that. I belive I was just so impressed that her ass fit that I helped her up and told her she owed me dinner. Six years later, I am still looking at that ass. I guess my point here is.......I found it when I wasn't even looking. So smallmovesal...relax, enjoy live and you will find your ass stuck somewhere.

JEEP

 

[Bikini Mod]

Flexed - I am starting to realize that the "love at first sight" may be nothing more than justification for hormones.....

Hear me out. (I am NOT saying that this NEVER works... there are exceptions to every rule.)

I beleive that this feeling that we label love comes and goes.... when that animal magnitism is at a point where it is waning, what is left? If you do not have that calm, comfortable, respect and friendship and trust then what is the point?

Me personally, I have always been the type to jump in feet first and think it through later.... Has devastated me in the past. Now I just want a friend. Someone who I can feel the way that you feel around this current hunny of yours. As you see and appreciate all the support and friendship you get, as he doesn't let you down, as he calls when he says he will, sometimes puts your needs above his own, genuinely CARES FOR YOU as a human being.... THE LOVE WILL COME.

If it does not, then I think that you are just chasing the wrong kinds of guys... (not being critical just being honest). I did the same thing for ALL of my life. If a guy did not treat me poorly then I didn't want them or the "not so nice guy" was always more appealing and I used the excuse of lack of sexual attraction.

Don't rush the sex. Obviously he can wait too..... Doesn't that tell you something? Doesn't that tell you that he is the one that you should be thinking of and not the ex?

I loved my exhusband for all of my adult life. The pain that I still feel as a result of the past can not be put into words.... but it is OK. For the first time in my life I am beginning to find and feel my selfworth! It is to my benefit and the benefit of my children.

Since I have split with the ex I have had one major brian fart, two relationships, and one date (which was a DEFINITE reminder of why I do NOT date hehehe) .... The second I am treated with disrespect regardless of how strong the attraction/affection that I feel to/for the guy is - I have ZERO DIFFICULTY WRITING THEM OFF. Everyone gets a major warning before I close my heart.... if they choose to ignore it then, oh well it is THEIR LOSS. There is NO WAY I am going to invest another 13 years of my life hoping that a guy will "get it". I am too good for that and I would much rather be alone! Does it hurt? HELL YES, I just spent hours on the phone crying to my sister AGAIN..... but that is ok. That is why she is there and now I feel much better.

Today is another day....

Think about it Flexed.

 

[musclebrains]

I tend to mistrust any relationship started on the rebound. On the other hand:

I learned about 10 years ago that if I walked into a room and had that experience of "love at first sight" the best thing to do was to turn and run...run as far and as fast as my legs would carry me. Instant attraction like that is, for many people (including me), a sign that you've met someone who is at once hot as hell and capable of bringing out the worst in you. It's, as you say, "oil and water" and, of course, oil will burn on water like passion erupts after an argument.

After a series of such insane romances, I settled down 8 years ago with someone stable and compatible. There has never been a big sexual attraction on my part and our relationship is open, which I know is not for many people, but sex is an ineffective way to try to sustain any relationship more than a few years.

 

[flexed1]

Some great points here. Bikinimom you seem to have hit it perfect. Its so not about sex right now as I am not into it with this person though we hold nad kiss. Nobody is getting sex from me and my partner I think is the same. We spend much time together when I am home being happy and content and he has my full trust which my ex never did. My ex drove me crazy and we fought and had conflict much of the time out of his desire to have something come up that would effect me. My new one like I said is always here its very comfortable and feels very good. I will just take it day by day to see where it leads. As afr as rebounding we talk about my ex and how I want things to go very slow for that very reason. The new one agrees.

 

[MoneyBags]

she sounds like a great girl. im sure you and her will have a great relationship. its important that you are comfortable with her more than you just want her for her vagina and her tits.

 

[kitKat]

Well Flexed I was married to me best friend for many years. Funny thing is I knew I was trading attraction for someone stable and it worked out well as far as keeping things low key and doing well monitarily. There comes a day that your heart cries out for passion....I guess it gets bottles up inside you...and finally has to come out. In my situation it came out in him( affair) before me....but, I might have been the one having the affair . There has to be a happy medium I believe cause I have seen it and I know of people that have it. I think you can have passion but yet still get along just have to find the right person.

Don't live a life without passion.....it will slowly eat at you....and one day you will see that all your youthful years.

 

[HappyScrappy]

she sounds like a great girl. im sure you and her will have a great relationship. its important that you are comfortable with her more than you just want her for her vagina and her tits.

or penis and ass as the case may be.

 

[AAP]

or penis and ass as the case may be.

Whatever rocks your boat HappyScrappy.

 

[HappyScrappy]

Whatever rocks your boat HappyScrappy.

lol - good point.
I was just trying to note that moneybags was referring to flexed's woman - but if I recall correctly, he is gay - although I didn't read all of this post, so perhaps something has changed and I missed it - which I find unlikely

 

[MoneyBags]

lol - good point.
I was just trying to note that moneybags was referring to flexed's woman - but if I recall correctly, he is gay - although I didn't read all of this post, so perhaps something has changed and I missed it - which I find unlikely

what the hell do you mean flexed is gay!!!!?

 

[dballer]

old news Money....

 

[MoneyBags]

i was just kidding. i bet flexed knew i what i was doing. how i kept saying her and she during that post to intentionally poke at him because he likes dick!!!!!

 

[METHYL MIKE]

i'm destined to be alone and unhappy.


what is the point of being here?

.


Its a shame, but youre not the only one smals....

 

[PinK233]

Kit and Bikini both make good points. It sounds like this person is very special Flexed....I've noticed that my best relationships were the ones that started out as friendships...usually when you first meet someone and you're EXTREMELY attracted to them that somewhat blinds you as far as noticing their mental/emotional flaws...but that doesn't mean that there should be no attraction there, that's important! It sounds like you are at least somewhat attracted, otherwise you wouldn't kiss/hug as you say you do. Cherish this friendship b/c it could blossom into something beautiful...take your time, not every good relationship starts out with lust and passion.

 

[flexed1]

thanks all. Moneybags I know you want me but I seem to be taken. There is much good advise in here. Sometimes one needs to get outside advise to see the real answer. Thanks again. I am off to Houston in the morning.