Looking for some Input from the "Younger Crowd"

[musclemom]

Besides i thought feminism took care of all that crap about women not being long term material if they put out on the first date? Especially for todays younger people. Which is it?

Ah, you do bring up a good point there and again, all I have is my own personal experience which is, apparently, woefully out of date.

Feminism or no let me put it this way, while I would have expected a guy to test the boundaries a little, if he can't respect my comfort zone then I have no respect for him. I had rules because what we're really talking about is a comfort zone and any guy who thought we should go faster than I was comfortable with never went out with me on another date

Honestly, I needed to know something about a person's character before I let them stick their tongue in my mouth, never mind anything else!

 

[WoodyO]

What does one's character have to do with getting laid? Sometimes sex is just sex.

 

[Faizakafez]

What does one's character have to do with getting laid? Sometimes sex is just sex.

agreed

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=vo8ltc&s=8#.U8_Y9J3D-M8

 

[musclemom]

What does one's character have to do with getting laid? Sometimes sex is just sex.

I never managed to pull off the "it's just sex" thing, I freely admit it, I don't care how horny I am. I simply cannot be intimate with someone that I don't really know. I tried once, it was truly awful. I felt creepy, almost like I had asked him to rape me.

I need trust, a rapport, a degree of friendship to enjoy sex.

 

[AFeedz]

 

[dabuffguy]

I should have qualified that I'm not thinking in terms of three date limit, one week limit, etc., it's more just the question of "does a first date fuck still equal slut"?

That being said, I actually had rules back when I dated and the funny thing was whenever I broke those rules I truly regretted it. I stuck to every rule with my current husband and it was the best decision for both of us. The stakes were so high we really had to be sure, we were and still are ... but that's me and I'm old

Obviously, my overall opinion on sex and dating is going to differ from most, but IMO anyone who has sex with someone on a first date made a really bad decision at that point in time.

I can't imagine having sex with anyone you just met. That seems really wrong to me. Even more so now that I am married. I am extremely glad that I waited.

I don't mean anything personal by that, as SD said he did it with his wife the first date. I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm glad for him that it worked out and he's happily married.

I would never advocate intimacy between strangers, religious convictions aside. That's really poor decision making on both parts. Way too many very negative consequences become a potential outcome and is not worth the momentary pleasure.

Sex should always be something more than "it's just sex". That's a pretty shallow and selfish attitude IMO.

 

[AFeedz]

Why can't sex sometimes just be for pleasure only? I don't think that's selfish. That's nature.

 

[WoodyO]

I just pleasured myself in the bathroom at work.

 

[dabuffguy]

Why can't sex sometimes just be for pleasure only? I don't think that's selfish. That's nature.

I didn't mean specifically that.

Sex feels great, and that's why people like it so much that it consumes a very large portion of people's daily thought and desire. But, I also feel that it shouldn't be something done between people who don't have any level of commitment to each other. Having a standard and following that is a good idea for everyone.

Sex has the physical component of pleasure for oneself, but should also the consideration of that for the other person. Just looking to get off is selfish. It's about yourself, not someone else, and looking for that from someone you just met can almost never have a selfless approach to that type of activity.

Having a legitimate positive emotional attachment and connection should be present so that sex brings you closer in that regard to each other in commitment and love to one another. You don't have that with a stranger, I don't think it's possible.


I'm not an expert, but my perspective has been enhanced since last week.

The closeness and love on an emotional level I have for my wife has increased dramatically. She feels the same way. That is much more important to me than an orgasm. That's why I believe that "it's just sex" with a stranger completely lacks any real meaning or significance other than getting off and feeling good for a short period of time. That, to me, is almost inherently selfish.

 

[sexyMFer]

This guy