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Look at how sorry nordstrom's dating life is

Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu

New member
25 years old. Not only am i a virgin, i've never kissed a girl. i 'think' i've been on a date with a woman before, i'm not sure. She asked me out a couple times and we didn't talk any after that.

clostest thing to a girlfriend was a woman i met online who i have talked to on & off for the last 6 years.

Problems with meeting women - i think i have a bad relationship with them. I think i view them as haughty. Plus when i was a kid i was brainwashed by all that fabio shit that women are an oppressed species who want unconditional love. I think these things screwed me mentally with women.

I'm kinda shy, but i have friends. I can approach a woman, i just find it demeaning to ask a woman out. Most will say no and many may/will laugh at me behind my back for having the 'nerve' to ask them out. This is unforgivably degrading to me, and i find it disgusting to ask out women who laugh at me for thinking i'm worth their time. So i stay in my particular zone.

That should top all you bitches.
 
unless you are wretchedly unnattractive, the probability of you asking any given woman out is high that she will accept. The probability of you getting laid from women is also high if you use a decent size pool of women to choose from (i.e. more than one).
 
Well after several attempts have failed. I would say change your approach, and be more outgoing.


RADAR
 
RADAR said:
Well after several attempts have failed. I would say change your approach, and be more outgoing.


RADAR
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Well i dont ask women out, i just talk to them. So that is a factor too :dodgy:
 
I'm older then you and I've never had any female friends (on or off line), girlfriends, dates, kisses, holding hands, sex, petting, pilow talk, hookers, AIM chats, NADA!!!!
I'm a walking piece of limestone. You and fxygel got nothing on me. :nerd:
 
well bro, look at it this way, you really have nothing to lose.....so, you might as well put yourself out there and give it a shot. you might get rejected a few times, but it's all part of it.
 
Ulcasterdropout said:
I'm older then you and I've never had any female friends (on or off line), girlfriends, dates, kisses, holding hands, sex, petting, pilow talk, hookers, AIM chats, NADA!!!!
I'm a walking piece of limestone. You and fxygel got nothing on me. :nerd:
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youre kidding, right
 
Ulcasterdropout said:
I'm older then you and I've never had any female friends (on or off line), girlfriends, dates, kisses, holding hands, sex, petting, pilow talk, hookers, AIM chats, NADA!!!!
I'm a walking piece of limestone. You and fxygel got nothing on me. :nerd:
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I thought my romantic life was barren, yours is even moreso.

If you don't want to tell why that's fine.
 
superdave said:
unless you are wretchedly unnattractive, the probability of you asking any given woman out is high that she will accept.
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what makes you say that? I figure when you factor out the women with boyfriends and those who aren't attracted to me only 10% will accept.
 
nordstrom said:
25 years old. Not only am i a virgin, i've never kissed a girl. i 'think' i've been on a date with a woman before, i'm not sure. She asked me out a couple times and we didn't talk any after that.

clostest thing to a girlfriend was a woman i met online who i have talked to on & off for the last 6 years.

Problems with meeting women - i think i have a bad relationship with them. I think i view them as haughty. Plus when i was a kid i was brainwashed by all that fabio shit that women are an oppressed species who want unconditional love. I think these things screwed me mentally with women.

I'm kinda shy, but i have friends. I can approach a woman, i just find it demeaning to ask a woman out. Most will say no and many may/will laugh at me behind my back for having the 'nerve' to ask them out. This is unforgivably degrading to me, and i find it disgusting to ask out women who laugh at me for thinking i'm worth their time. So i stay in my particular zone.

That should top all you bitches.
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Prostitutes
 
perkele said:
Prostitutes
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You guys assume i need to get laid. I honestly don't care that much and i know i can visit a prostitite. I want women to like me and want me around more than i want cheap sex with prostitutes or 250 lb women. There is more to women than fucking them. I'd prefer to have women want me to talk to them and approach them.
 
nordstrom said:
You guys assume i need to get laid. I honestly don't care that much and i know i can visit a prostitite. I want women to like me and want me around more than i want cheap sex with prostitutes or 250 lb women. There is more to women than fucking them. I'd prefer to have women want me to talk to them and approach them.
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What if I serious would try the tranny thing? No? I would have helped.....
 
nordstrom said:
You guys assume i need to get laid. I honestly don't care that much and i know i can visit a prostitite. I want women to like me and want me around more than i want cheap sex with prostitutes or 250 lb women. There is more to women than fucking them. I'd prefer to have women want me to talk to them and approach them.
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how do you expect women to want you to approach them if they have no idea what you're about?

it's like sellling a product with little to no advertising
 
calveless wonder said:
how do you expect women to want you to approach them if they have no idea what you're about?

it's like sellling a product with little to no advertising
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Explain what you mean
 
nordstrom said:
Explain what you mean
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What i mean that is if you see a girl anywhere, and they see you...all they have to go is based on looks. Unless you're drop dead attractive (which is about .0001% of the population) , they won;t visibly show signs they want to be approached. They have no idea about who you are or what you're about, so why would they want to date you?. That's the whole purpose of the approach or "pick up".

it's like marketing a product, but instead of a product it's marketing yourself.

it's the same thing in sales...you're gonna get turned down when making cold pitches but you'll hit a home run eventually and people will want your product.
it's just about how effectively you market all your qualities etc


i'll use myself as an example. I'm a smart, funny,genuine, laid back guy for the majority. However the way i dress and look and the fact i have money (for my age) tends to give off the perception that i'm vain or superficial. Most girls (even if they think i'm attractive) will dismiss this. That's until they get to know me...and they realize it's completely different.
I always get that "I thought you'd be an asshole" line all the time. I just wished i realized it sooner, i could have had alot more girls.
 
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I would say that if you want to date women, you will have to change your attitude. Easier said than done, since I have that attitude to a degree also. I hate the dating game. Maybe one day you will just get lucky and this will no longer be an issue for you. If you put yourself out there, your chances will be greater. My current relationship started with a pm, I just took a chance, knew that I might get shot down, but really didn't care at that time and now my world has been completely turned upside down because I was bold and took a chance. This is biteme, forgot to sign in again.
 
starfish said:
I would say that if you want to date women, you will have to change your attitude. Easier said than done, since I have that attitude to a degree also. I hate the dating game. Maybe one day you will just get lucky and this will no longer be an issue for you. If you put yourself out there, your chances will be greater. My current relationship started with a pm, I just took a chance, knew that I might get shot down, but really didn't care at that time and now my world has been completely turned upside down because I was bold and took a chance.
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are you biteme or starfish?

I know my outlook is holding me back alot. I should just complete my conversations with women by saying 'do you want to meet some other time' but i don't. Maybe not asking them out shields me from the rejection. I don't know if its the rejection that bothers me per se, just the fear that women will think low of me for asking them out.
 
nordstrom said:
are you biteme or starfish?

I know my outlook is holding me back alot. I should just complete my conversations with women by saying 'do you want to meet some other time' but i don't. Maybe not asking them out shields me from the rejection. I don't know if its the rejection that bothers me per se, just the fear that women will think low of me for asking them out.
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It's biteme. Yeah, you will definitely have to get over that hump. Don't worry it gets easier the older you get and more desperate you become. lol
 
starfish said:
It's biteme. Yeah, you will definitely have to get over that hump. Don't worry it gets easier the older you get and more desperate you become. lol
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Yeah. i remember just a few months ago i couldn't approach a woman and talk to her. After i did it a couple times it was easy. I still get butterflies sometimes but its usually easy. Asking them out is probably the same thing, it'll be scary the first couple times but after that it'll be painless.
 
hey nordstrom, I vaguely remember a thread a while ago about a MILF in one of your classes that wanted you? What happened with that, if I'm recalling this accurately....
 
chaos mage said:
hey nordstrom, I vaguely remember a thread a while ago about a MILF in one of your classes that wanted you? What happened with that, if I'm recalling this accurately....
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I never asked her out. This was about a year ago.
 
nordstrom said:
Yeah. i remember just a few months ago i couldn't approach a woman and talk to her. After i did it a couple times it was easy. I still get butterflies sometimes but its usually easy. Asking them out is probably the same thing, it'll be scary the first couple times but after that it'll be painless.
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oh wait? you can approach girls but can't ask them out???

my bad, i was high and misread what you wrote.


that's the easy part! approaching them takes alot more effort. If you can get over that, with a little concious effort you can easily overcome it. Ask yourself why are you gonna be doing 90% of the work not to close the last 10% o the deal?

if they're already talking to you there's at least a bit of interest
 
calveless wonder said:
oh wait? you can approach girls but can't ask them out???

my bad, i was high and misread what you wrote.


that's the easy part! approaching them takes alot more effort. If you can get over that, with a little concious effort you can easily overcome it. Ask yourself why are you gonna be doing 90% of the work not to close the last 10% o the deal?
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Well i 'think' my reason is just fear women will laugh at me and talk about me behind my back. I think that is why i don't ask them out, i dont want to come to class some day and see a handful of girls I asked out the week before pointing at me and laughing.
 
nordstrom said:
Well i 'think' my reason is just fear women will laugh at me and talk about me behind my back. I think that is why i don't ask them out, i dont want to come to class some day and see a handful of girls I asked out the week before pointing at me and laughing.
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i see...you're placing weighted emphasis on the outcome. Yep, you just need to change your perception and justify it.

Fact is, no group of people will ever laugh at you for asking a girl out. Girls get asked out all the time and MOST girls are usually very corteous about it. ocassionally you run into bitches, but that's the gamble you take sometimes.

you need to get these irrational thoughts out of your head and look at the reality of things.

You ask a girl out, she either says yes or no. She can either be polite or corteous or be a bitch about saying no. The latter is less likely if she's already in conversation with you. If she is a bitch, then you probably wouldnt want to date her anyways. that's a risk you assume


BTW i had the same problem sort of. I never wanted to put myself in a position where i'm open to criticism or whatever it my be (obviously by being rejected, this fits in that category). I never liked putting myself in any vulnerable position, so i never asked girls out. i always talked to them but never took that extra step.

Eventually i realized that my effort was going nowhere and i accepted the fact that i have to be at least somewhat vulnerable in order to get the girl and that rejection is natural.
 
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perkele said:
Prostitutes
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I would say that if someone is an old virgin, they probably had some sort of childhood trauma/brainwashing/ or have been mindfucked through their critical teen years. At that point, getting laid is the least of their worries, and getting a hooker just to lose their virginity would fuck their head up even more.
Sounds like a problem of just being misunderstood, and needing to be understood by the opposite sex before anything can ever happen.
Therein lies the problem; no one wants to hear other people's problems, so you have to fake being happy and hide all of your past-whatever the hell-you-went-through and in the process can never feel better about it.

Am I close or is that stretching it?
 
If it makes you feel any better Nordstrom, I got some girl's number on friday night. But I could give it to you and you could pretend you were me and call her. I am already kinda seeing someone else.
 
UA_Iron said:
If it makes you feel any better Nordstrom, I got some girl's number on friday night. But I could give it to you and you could pretend you were me and call her. I am already kinda seeing someone else.
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hahahahha, nice assist orb.
 
superdave said:
hahahahha, nice assist orb.
Click to expand...


I swear she's really cute too, brunette about 130lbs 5'7-5'8"

edit: forgot the most important part, big boobies and nice ass.
 
nordstrom said:
I should just complete my conversations with women by saying 'do you want to meet some other time' but i don't. Maybe not asking them out shields me from the rejection. I don't know if its the rejection that bothers me per se, just the fear that women will think low of me for asking them out.
Click to expand...

alcohol helps alot

I was in a slump when about your age (27 or 28?) and I ran ran a simple ad in the classifieds, it worked great, got my phone ringing and helped me get my game back on

I had some great times because I realized it was just about having fun
 
are you still big but running bf%'s of 25% etc....i felt the same as you, so i cut up, became more outgoing (i was fucking shyu before) and crucially didnt activly fixate on one woman but tried to do the bigger picture....and i ended up finding someone when i thought i never would or could and am happy with her...all fairly recently

if you feel your personality iisnt outgoing enough to reel em in, try cutting a bit, and then build up enough rappor with one to ask out, shit even try a friend

if not then just ask randoms out...shit i know its harsh to get knocked back but eventually one will agree, the rest are probably too superficial and bitch like to actually take a chance.

most women are cowards and genetically spineless when it comes to dating etc...thats why a lot (not all) will run for their boyfriend rather than try and argue themselves or expect the man to make all the moves...so fuck them if they say no



if not try the internet....worked for lots of people. dont go via this site though or you;ll have to let every person know and then when you break up there will be fall out which everyone will get to see. shit i wouldnt tell anyone about this site, let alone allow my SO to post on it :D
 
you just gotta get out there and ask girls out.. be prepared to be rejected by more then accept you.. its just the way it is.. use small wins to build confidence, go after some easy chicks, pick the low hanging fruit first... you'll do better and better over time. But don't be discouraged and NOT date at all.
 
if I get up to 13-15% my confidence nosedives. Most guys look like shit but I KNOW I do when I'm fat, and it shows. women pick up on that.

try approaching girls outside your normal preferences. All flavors are good but that way you'll learn which types are more likely to react favorably to you. Maybe you'll find black chicks dig you more than the blondes you've tried hitting on in the past, or Latinas like your style. Never know until you try.
 
Where to start

hanselthecaretaker - yeah, you are right within reason. And thanks for offering an opinion other than just visiting a prostitute. I know if i wanted sex i could just rent it, that is not an issue. I think that when i was young i had serious self esteem issues and women seemed unattainable, and that mind fucked me throughout the development years, the years when people learn how to interact and socialize. At this point in my life my self confidence is pretty stable, but that is due to years of fear and shame and figuring myself out and becoming comfortable with myself. Most people who have seen me post on EF can tell a personality change between when i posted in 2001/2002 and today. And yeah i have some pretty severe trauma from my 17-21 years, but i've mostly come to grips with that and put it behind me.

danielson - yeah i'm (down to :D) about 24% bodyfat. But i carry it pretty well. I have 60" shoulders, a 53" chest and 39" waist, so its not like i look like chris farley. Besides i've read that women are attracted to V shaped torsos, and i have that, just one with chub on top of it. I see women with hourglass figures, some are skinny and some have chub, but as long as they have the hourglass that is what is mostly important. I assume/hope its the same with V shaped torsos in men, as long as I have one hopefully i'll be ok with women and having a bit of chub isn't as important as the V shape. Its not like i have no self confidence when i have a 53" chest and a 39" waist but i'll have tons of it when i have a 52" chest and a 34-35" waist (my cutting goal).

UA_Iron - how many women did you have to go through to get that number?

Lestat - yeah, i figure i have maybe a 12.5% success rate with asking women out. Out of 10 women maybe 2.5 will be attracted to me and 5 will be available, that is 1.25 out of 10 women. Of those 1.25 women I assume maybe one out of five will have good personalities I can get along with well. I know logically all i have to do is hit on 40 women to find one that is would make a relatively good girlfriend and friend, but something keeps me back. Maybe its fear of rejection, maybe its fear of losing my dignity. I don't know for sure.
 
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nordstrom said:
Where to start

hanselthecaretaker - yeah, you are right within reason. And thanks for offering an opinion other than just visiting a prostitute. I know if i wanted sex i could just rent it, that is not an issue. I think that when i was young i had serious self esteem issues and women seemed unattainable, and that mind fucked me throughout the development years, the years when people learn how to interact and socialize. At this point in my life my self confidence is pretty stable, but that is due to years of fear and shame and figuring myself out and becoming comfortable with myself. Most people who have seen me post on EF can tell a personality change between when i posted in 2001/2002 and today.

danielson - yeah i'm (down to :D) about 24% bodyfat. But i carry it pretty well. I have 60" shoulders, a 53" chest and 39" waist, so its not like i look like chris farley. Besides i've read that women are attracted to V shaped torsos, and i have that, just one with chub on top of it. I see women with hourglass figures, some are skinny and some have chub, but as long as they have the hourglass that is what is mostly important. I assume/hope its the same with V shaped torsos in men, as long as I have one hopefully i'll be ok with women and having a bit of chub isn't as important as the V shape. Its not like i have no self confidence when i have a 53" chest and a 39" waist but i'll have tons of it when i have a 52" chest and a 34-35" waist (my cutting goal).

UA_Iron - how many women did you have to go through to get that number?

Lestat - yeah, i figure i have maybe a 12.5% success rate with asking women out. Out of 10 women maybe 2.5 will be attracted to me and 5 will be available, that is 1.25 out of 10 women. Of those 1.25 women I assume maybe one out of five will have good personalities I can get along with well. I know logically all i have to do is hit on 40 women to find one that is would make a relatively good girlfriend and friend, but something keeps me back. Maybe its fear of rejection, maybe its fear of losing my dignity. I don't know for sure.
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Those are actually pretty good numbers man!

I am the same as you tough, I don't like the rejection, it sucks, its a blow to the ego, can be depressing, etc.

So what I do is just try to be friendly with all my friends, family, etc and women tend to come out of the woodwork. its slow, but it works.

When I need a bunch of women, what i did this time around was try the online dating thing. It keeps you busy, gives you a lot of access to all kinds of women... I can't speak to how good it is for finding a real quality woman you can connect with, but I'll let you know if that happens. My head isn't in the right place yet to really even attempt that, but I will say I've met some VERY nice and QUALITY women on match.com
 
Lestat said:
When I need a bunch of women, what i did this time around was try the online dating thing. It keeps you busy, gives you a lot of access to all kinds of women... I can't speak to how good it is for finding a real quality woman you can connect with, but I'll let you know if that happens. My head isn't in the right place yet to really even attempt that, but I will say I've met some VERY nice and QUALITY women on match.com
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I dont think your experiences with match.com are universal. My understanding of places like match.com is men get no response from 90% of the women they write to and even the below average women get hit on 10+ times a week.

I'm trying some free internet personals though. no success so far but ah well.
 
It's also not as though you've spent your entire adult life just trying to date. I think it's hard to just put yourself out there sometimes. But after a while I just went for it. And I've been shot down lots of times, but I just thought "well that wasn't meant to be then" and moved on.

Will you have more chances to meet new women this fall at school? Are you going to make more of an effort to pursue them?
 
Raina said:
It's also not as though you've spent your entire adult life just trying to date. I think it's hard to just put yourself out there sometimes. But after a while I just went for it. And I've been shot down lots of times, but I just thought "well that wasn't meant to be then" and moved on.

Will you have more chances to meet new women this fall at school? Are you going to make more of an effort to pursue them?
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I'm in school in summer. Funny story, i asked a woman out in my class (did i not tell you im in class for summer?) Apparently she didn't know I was asking her out on a date and thought it was just a friendly get together but we are friendly aquantinces now.
 
Friendly aquaintances can lead to more....hell, I think that's the best way to start things. You get to know someone a bit without the pressure of dating and if there's chemistry you can pursue things from there.
 
nordstrom said:
UA_Iron - how many women did you have to go through to get that number?
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I filtered through some fatties that were kind of all over me the whole night. Then I struck up conversation with this girl, the cute one, she offered me a ride home because my drunk ass was going to walk home. Then I got her number because she seemed interested....now you'll just have to pretend you're me and you're golden :)
 
Raina said:
Friendly aquaintances can lead to more....hell, I think that's the best way to start things. You get to know someone a bit without the pressure of dating and if there's chemistry you can pursue things from there.
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Yeah, i'd rather talk to a woman 2-3 times before I ask her out just so i can see if she is worth asking out (ie the type i'd want to date more than once. You cant tell alot by one conversation, because alot of what you can tell isn't what a person says, its how they say it). Plus if I waited that long hopefully the bond we built is strong enough so that we can still be friendly and she won't be cruel either to my face or behind my back.
 
juicedpigtails said:
its all because chicks dont dig socialized medicine!@
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Yo mamma do. WHen i was fucking her in the ass she wouldn't shut up about the bureaucratic overhead benefits of a single payer system. I finally had to punch her in the back of the neck to knock her out.
 
juicedpigtails said:
youre lucky she had private insurance or else she may not have gotten care in time to survive.

:evil:
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She could've opted out of the single payer system and gotten better care if she needed to.
 
do you konw where tripleblonde went? i miss her. I developed a small crush on her when we started talking via IM a month ago, our conversations went really well. Now shes gone. This sucks.
 
Ok i have a situation. I spent about 2 hours IMing a woman in my town, and i saw a few face pics. Our personalities seem to get along and i want to see if she is date material. However i fear she may be really really fat. Im not deeply superficial mind you, i can handle chubby or 170 lb fat and my physical standards are pretty low. But i think she may be 250 lb fat, and i would not be physically attracted to someone like that.

So how do i get to see her in person w/o it sounding like a date? if im attracted to her then i can ask her out in person, if not then we can just be friends. What should my approach be. What should I say to her via IM so we can meet in person w/o there being pressure for it to be a date? should i say 'want to go to the library book sale' or would that sound like a date?
 
Hey man, everyone's a little weird in some ways. I've had periods of 2 years with no sex and little to no dating,, and didn't even beat off through grades 10 and 11 pretty much since my sex drive disappeared due to depression. I always thought that was kind of weird. And it's not like it ends. I still get weird as fuck sometimes and can't even be around people without weirding everyone out. I think you need to stop putting pressure on yourself. I think it sucks that society has placed it in people's heads that they need to be interacting socially and especially sexually to be acceptable. Who the fuck cares? You either like meeting new people and spending your time trying to get laid or you don't. Nothing wrong with going either way. I do think, however, that you should at least give both a try and then gauge how you like each. Maybe there's a balance you can find, but it sounds like it's something you are at least interested in otherwise you probably wouldn't be mentioning it in Internet Land. Wait, you aren't fucking with me are you?
Another trick I have found works well with overcoming shyness is drugs and lots of them.
 
Lao Tzu said:
Ok i have a situation. I spent about 2 hours IMing a woman in my town, and i saw a few face pics. Our personalities seem to get along and i want to see if she is date material. However i fear she may be really really fat. Im not deeply superficial mind you, i can handle chubby or 170 lb fat and my physical standards are pretty low. But i think she may be 250 lb fat, and i would not be physically attracted to someone like that.

So how do i get to see her in person w/o it sounding like a date? if im attracted to her then i can ask her out in person, if not then we can just be friends. What should my approach be. What should I say to her via IM so we can meet in person w/o there being pressure for it to be a date? should i say 'want to go to the library book sale' or would that sound like a date?
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Ask to get together for coffee or dessert..

meet her at the place, don't pick her up.

And dress casual and act casual.

When you see her for the first time, if she's too fat, shake her hand, don't hug her.

If she's ok initially based on physical inspection, go for a quick hug to set the tone.
 
Lestat said:
When you see her for the first time, if she's too fat, shake her hand, don't hug her.

If she's ok initially based on physical inspection, go for a quick hug to set the tone.
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Great advice here.
 
Nathan said:
Hey man, everyone's a little weird in some ways. I've had periods of 2 years with no sex and little to no dating,, and didn't even beat off through grades 10 and 11 pretty much since my sex drive disappeared due to depression. I always thought that was kind of weird. And it's not like it ends. I still get weird as fuck sometimes and can't even be around people without weirding everyone out. I think you need to stop putting pressure on yourself. I think it sucks that society has placed it in people's heads that they need to be interacting socially and especially sexually to be acceptable. Who the fuck cares? You either like meeting new people and spending your time trying to get laid or you don't. Nothing wrong with going either way. I do think, however, that you should at least give both a try and then gauge how you like each. Maybe there's a balance you can find, but it sounds like it's something you are at least interested in otherwise you probably wouldn't be mentioning it in Internet Land. Wait, you aren't fucking with me are you?
Another trick I have found works well with overcoming shyness is drugs and lots of them.
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That is very relatable and moving, you should post serious things more often on EF. I dont think i'm really shy right now at this point in my life. A few years ago when i had a serious inferiority complex and a pretty troubled past i was afraid people would find out about I was shy, but at this point in my life those things aren't really problems for me anymore.

For the record, i actually enjoy talking to women. Its nice to see a stranger, go up to her and after a few minutes know a moderate amount about her. About her goals, her major, her background, her name, etc.

I have no real pressing desire to get laid. getting laid isn't my goal with this. My goal is to interact more, to be able to pick up strange women and to find women who like me in return. If all i wanted was sex i could go the prostitute route.

Anyway, i talked to a new woman today. On the way out of class i approached her and we talked for about 40 seconds before we had to go in seperate directions. I wanted to ask her out but

1. i chickened out (which is understandable)
2. I dont really want to talk to a woman for 30 seconds then ask her out. Its my belief you should have 2-3 mini conversations before you ask for a date just to see if you're somewhat compatible and so you know she is not a bitch or a brat. Plus by this point she will still be a friendly aquaintance and less likely to look down on you or talk about you behind your back. At least that's my view. Plus she will probably respect a guy who gets to know her a bit before asking her out than a guy who just asks her name then asks for a date.

So i 'may' try to ask this particular girl out sometime this week, but don't get your hopes up people. I have a 12.5% success rate here.
 
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Nordstrom.

You need not ask a woman you just met out right away. You may be better off simply asking for a phone number, or even less threatening is an e-mail addy. Most girls will give you one if they're somewhat interested. Your a clever lad, and funny. You could prolly do well going in that direction, and it may help to calm some of your fears in one on one encounters
 
JerseyArt said:
Nordstrom.

You need not ask a woman you just met out right away. You may be better off simply asking for a phone number, or even less threatening is an e-mail addy. Most girls will give you one if they're somewhat interested. Your a clever lad, and funny. You could prolly do well going in that direction, and it may help to calm some of your fears in one on one encounters
Click to expand...

Yeah, this is my philosophy. My concerns with women are

1. They will not like me
2. i will not like them
3. They will be cruel and inconsiderate either to my face or behind my back

I figure if i wait until a few conversations are out of the way then each of these things will be benefited dramatically. By the 3rd conversation i know a reasonable amount about a person, i know a reasonable amount about whether she likes me or is taken, and she will consider me someone she is on friendly terms with and be less likely to act like a bitch either to my face or behind my back. And if she is a brat or supercilious (which a reasonable percentage of young white western women can be) i will have picked up on this and got the fuck out of dodge by then.

When 'asking a woman out' doesn't there need to be a mutual interest or are you just dating to date? ie, don't you need to establish some mutual interest you both have or do you just ask them out to do anything? I would figure the mutual interest approach would have a much higher success rate. Like if you both hate bush you ask them to see fahrenheit 9/11. If you both like reading you ask them to go to a used bookstore. etc.
 
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You should realise you don't "have to" do this and date.

maybe you know this, but i dont think you realise it.
once you do it will become easier to do it, ironically.
 
Robert Jan said:
You should realise you don't "have to" do this and date.

maybe you know this, but i dont think you realise it.
once you do it will become easier to do it, ironically.
Click to expand...

I think i do realize that. When i am about to approach a woman i ask myself 'do i really want to talk to her or am i just trying to force myself'. I am trying this because i've never tried it before and want to see what its like. This is the first time in my life i've tried talking to strange women and i enjoy it so far. im 25 and havent dated, what difference will it make if i get to 28 or 32 and haven't dated? It wont. But i want to see what its like before i decide if i want to invest any real time/effort into this.

Also as i realize women are just people who can be bratty, or hard to talk to, or uneventful, or irrelevant helps to make it easier too. Them not liking me or rejecting me isn't that important because most people are not going to have any major impact on me anyway, unless its a destructive impact. And thats not likely to happen.
 
nordstrom said:
I'm in school in summer. Funny story, i asked a woman out in my class (did i not tell you im in class for summer?) Apparently she didn't know I was asking her out on a date and thought it was just a friendly get together but we are friendly aquantinces now.
Click to expand...



Ahh, the friend trap. It's not a total loss, though; you can use it to your advantage. Hang out with her now and then, and make sure to talk to other girls when you are with her, and even get some #'s. When girls see you with other girls it makes them think that you must have something attractive qualities if that girl wants to be around you, even if you aren't dating/boning/etc.

You'll get the hang of using the subtle art of body language to let chicks know you are interested in being more than friends.

You have one thing down to a tee, though, and that is that you don't appear needy/desperate to women. Keep this up, because no woman likes a man who's desperate.
Be casual, and don't take the whole "picking up chicks" thing too seriously.

Life shouldn't be taken too seriously, because we all die in the end anyway.

Relax, smile, and don't put any unnecessary pressure on yourself.
 
After reading this, my question is, how do you manage to get through anything in life? Everything has risk to it. Relationships with people are highly dymanic things. People meet, find love, go through some amount of life and then change one way or another then feel like they have to destroy one another to move on in their life. Others will hang around miserably with each other, and then some are just completely happy until their dying days with each other.

Do you not eat different foods because they might not taste right. Or that they'll stop tasting good after a while? Do you not get on a bicycle or in a car or on a motorcycle because something bad may happen?

LIVE! ;)
 
Lao Tzu said:
I think i do realize that. When i am about to approach a woman i ask myself 'do i really want to talk to her or am i just trying to force myself'. I am trying this because i've never tried it before and want to see what its like. This is the first time in my life i've tried talking to strange women and i enjoy it so far. im 25 and havent dated, what difference will it make if i get to 28 or 32 and haven't dated? It wont. But i want to see what its like before i decide if i want to invest any real time/effort into this.
Click to expand...

I don't think this is entirely true. I think this is something you should get over sooner rather than later since you are still young and provided you are shooting for women your age or a bit younger even, then you should hopefully find some of them aren't terribly experienced with dating either. I guess what I mean is that if you get into dating when you're 30 most other people (who are still single) will already have been doing it for a few years and your inexperience might be much more of an obstacle at that time.
 
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