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KB needs yo help - Operation Improve IM Game

KillahBee

KillahBee

New member
So, I was last to join the IM revolution. Deep down, I hate it. It's impersonable, cheesy, amateurish, and for people without personalities. Nonetheless, you can either join in the game or watch from the bench.

So, I got IM a few months ago (mostly cause one of my clients will only respond to IMs). I pretty much NEVER use it and certainly don't have a contact list built up.

But, I know it's a big part of the game. And a girl I met recently asked me for my "IM addy" (so fucking gay). Problem is, I suck at it. My whole schtick is all about delivery - and IM communciation takes delivery 99.99% out of the equation. Little secret bout KB - I don't really say anything interesting or funny, I just fucking deliver it like a performance god.

So, give me your tips, clues, pointers, approaches, routines, etc.

Also, I assume I should always try to be the one who ends the interaction?
 
I suck at email and IM. So, I never do it. Just tell them to call you when they want teh secks.
 
KillahBee said:
lol, best advice ever.
Click to expand...


glad i could help. just want to let you know even if i was a multi-billionaire, i would have the bitches running in the opposite direction. damn, i'm good. (ace ventura)
 
Also, if a girl has Video capabilities (it says that when I hover over her name), that pretty much means she is a raging InterWebWhore, right?
 
jack_schitt said:
You already got the wit, if you can type at a decent speed...then your golden.
Click to expand...

Killerbee, it sounds like you do have some computer game. It appears you could hit this schitt.
 
KillahBee said:
Also, if a girl has Video capabilities (it says that when I hover over her name), that pretty much means she is a raging InterWebWhore, right?
Click to expand...

Exactly.

Also, if your gonna use Yahoo, make sure the mic on your computer is turned off. Theres a story behind that one.
 
as always talk about them. make it positive and talk about how much fun you have planned for the both of you. then fuck her and chuck her. example, i always wanted to check out niagara falls but never had anybody to go with.
 
lol... oh man, this is gonna be hella good
 
get the stupid bitches juices going. find out what her interests are and make pretend you are into the same crap. talk about astrology and stars and all that other crap. they eat that shit up. point is have her do most of the chatting and get info you can use to bang her. no different than being in person or on the phone.


another example, frisky loves males horses, :whatever: therefore, find out if she likes horse back riding and talk about how you always wanted to try it. become the ultimate salesman.
 
fistfullofsteel said:
get the stupid bitches juices going. find out what her interests are and make pretend you are into the same crap. talk about astrology and stars and all that other crap. they eat that shit up. point is have her do most of the chatting and get info you can use to bang her. no different than being in person or on the phone.
Click to expand...

LOL

I thought he just had to have bank.

Sounds like too much effort to me just to get laid.
 
feisty11975 said:
hahaha

I'd love to see KB's myspace page. I think I'd pay to see it
Click to expand...

I should set one up as killahbee, add a bunch of rainbow and glittery stuff, then friend request everyone on EF.
 
fistfullofsteel said:
get the stupid bitches juices going. find out what her interests are and make pretend you are into the same crap. talk about astrology and stars and all that other crap. they eat that shit up. point is have her do most of the chatting and get info you can use to bang her. no different than being in person or on the phone.


another example, frisky loves males horses, :whatever: therefore, find out if she likes horse back riding and talk about how you always wanted to try it. become the ultimate salesman.
Click to expand...
^^^

Is that a typo? :lmao:
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Sounds like too much effort to me just to get laid.
Click to expand...

Sitting down, and typing is alot easier and cheaper than going to a bar, and requieres FAR less effort.

Not that I've done it...I'm just sayin...
 
fistfullofsteel said:
we established he isn't shitting gold bricks therefore plan Z
Click to expand...

gotcha.

But aren't chicks dumb with low standards nowadays? I mean, isn't his pointy hair enough to make him golden?
 
alien amp pharm said:
I should set one up as killahbee, add a bunch of rainbow and glittery stuff, then friend request everyone on EF.
Click to expand...

that would be priceless...then send him the username and password...
 
BIKINIMOM said:
gotcha.

But aren't chicks dumb with low standards nowadays? I mean, isn't his pointy hair enough to make him golden?
Click to expand...


having a full set of hair that is on point is definitely important. at this time i would like to say fuck you to whoever game me the bad hair gene. :finger:
 
fistfullofsteel said:
having a full set of hair that is on point is definitely important. at this time i would like to say fuck you to whoever game me the bad hair gene. :finger:
Click to expand...

LOL Have you seen my man's head? He is still deluding himself that he HAS hair.

If your wallet is full, a chick won't be looking at your hair.
 
KillahBee said:
Also, I assume I should always try to be the one who ends the interaction?
Click to expand...


Of course, you never want the "awkward silence" or "we've run out of thigns to say" thought bubble to pop into the other persons head. Although the first one is less of an issue in IMs:)
 
fistfullofsteel said:
all praise be upon the truth
Click to expand...

I have ALWAYS been straight up about this.

If a man was not successfull I had ZERO time for him. I told every dude straight up, "All the men I date are successfull so why exactly is it that I should give my time to YOU?"
 
NO fucking myspace page....at least until I have abs

My other issue is this - I don't mind using rape and/or abortio humor in person with a chick. I like to make things uncomfortable, throw her off balance a bit. It shows I don't give a fuck. Then I go in for the chloroform-kill maneuver.

But it's hard to do that via IM
 
KillahBee said:
NO fucking myspace page....at least until I have abs

My other issue is this - I don't mind using rape and/or abortio humor in person with a chick. I like to make things uncomfortable, throw her off balance a bit. It shows I don't give a fuck. Then I go in for the chloroform-kill maneuver.

But it's hard to do that via IM
Click to expand...
thats hot
 
KillahBee said:
NO fucking myspace page....at least until I have abs

My other issue is this - I don't mind using rape and/or abortio humor in person with a chick. I like to make things uncomfortable, throw her off balance a bit. It shows I don't give a fuck. Then I go in for the chloroform-kill maneuver.

But it's hard to do that via IM
Click to expand...
You try too hard KB. Just talk...Why throw all this game at them?
 
feisty11975 said:
You try too hard KB. Just talk...Why throw all this game at them?
Click to expand...

LOL A woman is looked-down upon because she keeps it real from the word jump, yet here is this young hot intelligent man who feels the need to run game in order to get poonani?

Doesn't make a lotta sense....
 
BIKINIMOM said:
I have ALWAYS been straight up about this.

If a man was not successfull I had ZERO time for him. I told every dude straight up, "All the men I date are successfull so why exactly is it that I should give my time to YOU?"
Click to expand...


I told you no more dating!
:santa:
 
never heard of somebody failing because they tried too hard or gave it their 100%. only fail when you don't give it your 100% and quit trying. go balls out with the bitch if she or her vagina is worth it.
 
lol at ANY woman on EF telling me I try too hard.

ANYTIME I communicate with ANY person via ANY medium it is planned and thought out. I'm not necessarily talking sit down for hours in a war room and break out plans. But there is ALWAYS thought behind anything we do - perhaps you fools are just not in tune with yourselves.

I also assume none of you operate in the business world.
 
KillahBee said:
lol at ANY woman on EF telling me I try too hard.

ANYTIME I communicate with ANY person via ANY medium it is planned and thought out. I'm not necessarily talking sit down for hours in a war room and break out plans. But there is ALWAYS thought behind anything we do - perhaps you fools are just not in tune with yourselves.

I also assume none of you operate in the business world.
Click to expand...

LOL. We are telling you that you are trying too hard for something that should be EASY for you to attain - dumbass pussy.

I didn't realize that you had to "scheme" in order to get laid. You seem bright, actually somewhat witty. So why the hard work? Chicks are way easy and altogether loose anymore.... so what gives? It isn't like you are wife-shopping or anything.

Seriously, you equate conquest over easy punani with a major achievement in business?
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Seriously, you equate conquest over easy punani with a major achievement in business?
Click to expand...


getting vagina is never easy for a guy unless he is incredibly good looking, super rich or famous. in high school and college it was alot easier but those are socially structured settings where it is like using a hydrogen bomb to kill a deer.
 
fistfullofsteel said:
another example, frisky loves males horses, :whatever: therefore, find out if she likes horse back riding and talk about how you always wanted to try it. become the ultimate salesman.
Click to expand...


lmao... kiss my tight plump tan ass.. lol
 
BIKINIMOM said:
LOL. We are telling you that you are trying too hard for something that should be EASY for you to attain - dumbass pussy.

I didn't realize that you had to "scheme" in order to get laid. You seem bright, actually somewhat witty. So why the hard work? Chicks are way easy and altogether loose anymore.... so what gives? It isn't like you are wife-shopping or anything.

Seriously, you equate conquest over easy punani with a major achievement in business?
Click to expand...


Cause it's fun dude. I'm totally awed by human social interaction. And you know what - quality pussy IS NOT eays to get. I've been there, done that. I'm hunting better game now.

And it's not scheming. Every move that ALL of you make has motives, desired reactions and intention behind it. It's not my fault you are not honest enough to admit it or even realize it. You think all you wimins picked picture avi's "randomly"? No, you aren't stupid. You did it for a REASON. We all do things for reasons.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Seriously, you equate conquest over easy punani with a major achievement in business?
Click to expand...


:lmao:

He hangs with girls who would drop their panties just to see if they hit the ground and yet he comes up with these elaborate schemes to try to get some.

If he handles his "major achievements in business" the way he handles getting some pussy, he is probably in the break room 7 hours out of the day begging the Mr. Coffee for a cup of coffee. Just hit the "brew" button KB.
 
fistfullofsteel said:
getting vagina is never easy for a guy unless he is incredibly good looking, super rich or famous. in high school and college it was alot easier but those are socially structured settings where it is like using a hydrogen bomb to kill a deer.
Click to expand...

Not true at all. A guy need only be *this* charming and have *this little* consciense. From what the young men on these boards say girls will fuck nearly anything that walks anymore. A dood doesn't even have to pay for a date or have any sort of career because women are "too busy being independent" and shit to have the higher standards that women of the past have had.

Because of birth control and condoms she doesnt have to worry all *that much* about getting pregnant or an STD.

So what gives?

But hey, it's all good. I could care less what goes on between consenting adults. :)
 
fistfullofsteel said:
no, she said she likes male horses. your guess is good as mine as to why.
Click to expand...

hahahaha... now you go show me where I said that. I love cowboys, and prefer to save a horse and ride my cowboy anyday :evil:
 
heatherrae said:
:lmao:

He hangs with girls who would drop their panties just to see if them hit the ground and yet he comes up with these elaborate schemes to try to get some.

If he handles his "major achievements in business" the way he handles getting some pussy, he is probably in the break room 7 hours out of the day begging the Mr. Coffee for a cup of coffee. Just hit the "brew" button KB.
Click to expand...

:spit:
 
Anybody that is not a self hater want to keep the fun going here? aap - I know you mine the interwebs for chicks, hook me up with your IM smiley campaign use
 
KillahBee said:
lol at ANY woman on EF telling me I try too hard.

ANYTIME I communicate with ANY person via ANY medium it is planned and thought out. I'm not necessarily talking sit down for hours in a war room and break out plans. But there is ALWAYS thought behind anything we do - perhaps you fools are just not in tune with yourselves.

I also assume none of you operate in the business world.
Click to expand...


master.jpg
 
I've never had game unless I actually like the girl. According to my friends, I'm near perfect when that's the case. I never know what the hell I do though. It could be the roofies.
 
KillahBee said:
Cause it's fun dude. I'm totally awed by human social interaction. And you know what - quality pussy IS NOT eays to get. I've been there, done that. I'm hunting better game now.

And it's not scheming. Every move that ALL of you make has motives, desired reactions and intention behind it. It's not my fault you are not honest enough to admit it or even realize it. You think all you wimins picked picture avi's "randomly"? No, you aren't stupid. You did it for a REASON. We all do things for reasons.
Click to expand...

Oh come on now. You cant mean that. You think that I am not fully cognizant of what makes me tick?

The fact that you are setting your standards a bit higher explains why you feel the need to step up your game. That's all you would have had to say to begin with. THAT changes everything.

So now you are still all about the chase (it is in every man's blood) just interested in more elusive game? Cool.

IMing is actually quite easy. It is a prefered method of communication for me. My husband and I are sitting, as we type, at opposite ends of the office on purpose so we can IM. LOL
 
KillahBee said:
Anybody that is not a self hater want to keep the fun going here? aap - I know you mine the interwebs for chicks, hook me up with your IM smiley campaign use
Click to expand...


omg... now you want aap's geigh web sight thingy? be carefull... very very careful.

no dude... serioulsy, I've spoken with you, talked to you on the web and all that shizzle. I don't see you having a problem at all scoring with the chicks. Just pull that same line on them like you did me... 'yo why don't you show me your boobs'... hee hee...

seriously, your personality should do the trick by itself.

don't DON'T use the 'how to' book by aap... really
 
fistfullofsteel said:
killah, my wigga, bitches always hate when it comes to get other bitches. use the force, block it out.
Click to expand...

Me hate?

Hello.... this is ME we are talking bout here.

I think it is actually entertaining the great lengths that a man will go to just to get his dick wet.

Carry on my good men.... CARRY ON!!! :heart:
 
BIKINIMOM said:
My husband and I are sitting, as we type, at opposite ends of the office on purpose so we can IM.
Click to expand...

Actually it's cause if you were in my office on this side of the building you would be taking care of that job. Plus I need to keep all the people in the drive-up window supersized it is lunchtime ya know.
:santa2:
 
Grumpy Old Man said:
Actually it's cause if you were in my office on this side of the building you would be taking care of that job. Plus I need to keep all the people in the drive-up window supersized at is lunchtime ya know.
:santa2:
Click to expand...
make my shake extra thick, you bastid. ;-)
 
Grumpy Old Man said:
Actually it's cause if you were in my office on this side of the building you would be taking care of that job. Plus I need to keep all the people in the drive-up window supersized at is lunchtime ya know.
:santa2:
Click to expand...

Yup. You dropped the ball yesterday when you forgot to Supersize Gotmilk's french fries. Shit he whined like a bitch all damned day about it!!!

Good God! I wanted to have my brains removed through my nose with a rusty coat hanger just so that I couldn't hear the bastard any longer.


Do try not to let it happen again.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Me hate?

Hello.... this is ME we are talking bout here.

I think it is actually entertaining the great lengths that a man will go to just to get his dick wet.

Carry on my good men.... CARRY ON!!! :heart:
Click to expand...

Actually, I gotta correct myself here.

I think it is far better what some men will do in order to make sure that no one else will get their dick wet in "their" pussy.

:chomp:
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Yup. You dropped the ball yesterday when you forgot to Supersize Gotmilk's french fries. Shit he whined like a bitch all damned day about it!!!

Good God! I wanted to have my brains removed through my nose with a rusty coat hanger just so that I couldn't hear the bastard any longer.


Do try not to let it happen again.
Click to expand...

I gave him 3 orders of secret sauce, that's why I forgot the supersized fries.... took a little while to whip that up.
:santa:
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Actually, I gotta correct myself here.

I think it is far better what some men will do in order to make sure that no one else will get their dick wet in "their" pussy.

:chomp:
Click to expand...



eewwww you said the p word

hehe
 
KillahBee said:
Anybody that is not a self hater want to keep the fun going here? aap - I know you mine the interwebs for chicks, hook me up with your IM smiley campaign use
Click to expand...

IMing can be quite the tool if used correctly.

Unlike in person, on IM you actually have a few seconds to think out your next move. Thus you rarely have the "WTF did I just say?" or "Oh man, I should have said this instead". Those few seconds coupled with a witty and funny sense of humor are PRICELESS.

Always use smileys to show you are always playing around in case you say something that offends her. Remember that sarcasm and tone is hard to comprehend over IM. This will make all the difference between her laughing or calling the police once you use your Rape humor.

If you run out of things to talk about or in case she never runs out of things to talk about you can simply say "Gotta go TTYL BYE <heartsmiley>" and log off without some long drawn out goodbye session. Plus if you simply log off real fast there is rarely any backlash unlike just hanging up the phone during a conversation.

I will be back with more pointers later on...Gotta go TTYL BYE :heart:
 
BIKINIMOM said:
OMG I just literally busted out laughing at you two!














And for the record... I prefer the word coochie.
Click to expand...
I still call mine "tinkerbell" My mommy taught me that...lol.
 
heatherrae said:
I still call mine "tinkerbell" My mommy taught me that...lol.
Click to expand...

Me and my girls call ours "nuna". Also what I call them - my little punanunaz. LOL

I actually dont think I even know the proper term for female sex organs in my language.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Me and my girls call ours "nuna". Also what I call them - my little punanunaz. LOL

I actually dont think I even know the proper term for female sex organs in my language.
Click to expand...
lol that is cute.


I dated a man for a while who had a 7 year old and 4 year old little girl. His ex wife was a nurse and thought the girls, even at 7 and 4, should know all the correct anatomical names for everything. So we got to hear them chatter about their uteruses and such at the play pen at McDonalds..lol.

One day, we were going over a bumpy brindge that was vibrating the SUV. It was my bf, his parents, me and the girls in the SUV, when the 7 year old said "oh, that bridge makes me tickle in my vagina."

You have NEVER heard a car go that QUIET before. No one could utter a word for about 3 minutes....lol.
 
alien amp pharm said:
IMing can be quite the tool if used correctly.

Unlike in person, on IM you actually have a few seconds to think out your next move. Thus you rarely have the "WTF did I just say?" or "Oh man, I should have said this instead". Those few seconds coupled with a witty and funny sense of humor are PRICELESS.

Always use smileys to show you are always playing around in case you say something that offends her. Remember that sarcasm and tone is hard to comprehend over IM. This will make all the difference between her laughing or calling the police once you use your Rape humor.

If you run out of things to talk about or in case she never runs out of things to talk about you can simply say "Gotta go TTYL BYE <heartsmiley>" and log off without some long drawn out goodbye session. Plus if you simply log off real fast there is rarely any backlash unlike just hanging up the phone during a conversation.

I will be back with more pointers later on...Gotta go TTYL BYE :heart:
Click to expand...

I knew you'd be the source. PLAY ON PLAYA!!!

Also, could all the women who are having father-less children NOT make judgments on other people?!

okthxdie
 
KillahBee said:
I knew you'd be the source. PLAY ON PLAYA!!!

Also, could all the women who are having father-less children NOT make judgments on other people?!

okthxdie
Click to expand...

At least us single moms didn't have to beg for some dick, obviously. I think I would seriously give up if I were you.

Maybe you could show her some blurry pic of a support pole and some lights and tell her it was a $15,000/night suite at a hotel that you were comped...lol. That may work on the gals you pursue.
 
KillahBee said:
I knew you'd be the source. PLAY ON PLAYA!!!

Also, could all the women who are having father-less children NOT make judgments on other people?!

okthxdie
Click to expand...

Sadly my valuable information on IMing is getting lost in all these posts of sluts rambling on about what to call their worn-out, over-stretched cunts.
 
I try not to IM that much.
If I do I wind up getting all horned up over some girl and wind up having sex with her.
I can't control it so I rarely sign on.
 
alien amp pharm said:
Sadly my valuable information on IMing is getting lost in all these posts of sluts rambling on about what to call their worn-out, over-stretched cunts.
Click to expand...
Your information on how to talk to a girl on IM. Yeah, the world can't live without that. you are just so damned fascinating.
 
AAP got's IM style. The only thing I don't like about IM'ing is whatever you say that sounds good in your head never types the same way. Brush up on your adjectives and from a girl prespective smiley's are fun and cute; fixing almost any botched situation. :)

Welcome to the world of IM...
 
Keep the IM shorthand to a minimum. It might just be a personal preference, but in the rare occasions that I do IM someone, that's an immediate turnoff. Smily faces are ok when making sure your "tone" is understood, but in general, keep those to a minimum too. Unless, of course, the girl is under the age of 20, in which case my advice is null and void. :)
 
heatherrae said:
Your information on how to talk to a girl on IM. Yeah, the world can't live without that. you are just so damned fascinating.
Click to expand...

At least I am on topic with the thread starter and not off typing about some stank-ass cum collector between your legs
 
alien amp pharm said:
At least I am on topic with the thread starter and not off typing about some stank-ass cum collector between your legs
Click to expand...

Hey - we weren't talking about your mother OR your sister.... so please refrain from name-calling. Kthanxbye :)
 
bran987 said:
holy shit
Click to expand...

I know right? The dood has issues.

Heatherrae and I were having a little fun with KB's thread and wooooooaaa some other silly fool had to go and rear his ugly head with some seething hatred.... TOTALLY unwarranted.

But hey... he has shown his true colors on more than one occasion so we are sorta used to him. I think that his now infamous "I didnt get my girl shit for Valentine's day and she dropped to her knees and sucked my cock to thank me" said it all. :)
 
BIKINIMOM said:
I know right? The dood has issues.

Heatherrae and I were having a little fun with KB's thread and wooooooaaa some other silly fool had to go and rear his ugly head with some seething hatred.... TOTALLY unwarranted.

But hey... he has shown his true colors on more than one occasion so we are sorta used to him. I think that his now infamous "I didnt get my girl shit for Valentine's day and she dropped to her knees and sucked my cock to thank me" said it all. :)
Click to expand...


He is a poor little kid with no self esteem. At least I brought you a burger, fries and HR's extra thick shake for VTines day!
:santa:
 
I'm deluding myself that this isn't going to get lost in the off topic stuff, but one other point that's kind of a repeat of what AAP said...if conversation stalls...make excuses and BAIL. There's nothing worse than the "er...lets pretend we still have interesting stuff to say" conversations. Make an excuse like you have a phone call, or need to make dinner/go somewhere. Short IMs are better than long dull ones that kill chemistry.
 
Grumpy Old Man said:
He is a poor little kid with no self esteem. At least I brought you a burger, fries and HR's extra thick shake for VTines day!
:santa:
Click to expand...


Hey watch it there Mr! Steak and BJ day ain't over yet so I may just decide not to get all commercial on you and shit and fold to the pressure and comply with celebrating!!!

And then I will make you eat me out and put up a thread on elite bragging about it tomorrow!

That'll show YOU. :lmao:
 
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