Just when you think people couldn't get any dumber

[Freak Show]

Idiot #1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called very upset because she caught her little two year old daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there was no need to bring her daughter in. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to say that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that now she should bring her daughter to the emergency room right away.
(this was not me-freak show)

Idiot #2
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed zone. It not only measured his speed using radar, it also photographed his car. He later received, in the mail, a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received another letter from the police dept. that contained a picture of handcuffs. He paid the $40.

Idiot#3
Arkansas. Seems this guy wanted beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he heaved the cinder block over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of plexi-glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
More to come later.

 

[ORGANON CANON]

 

[thefacelessballer]

keep em coming.. some people are really stoopid

 

[amaritto]

#2 is hilarious. That is something that someone here on the board would do.

 

[bgdaddysmooth]

Have any of you guys ever heard of the Darwin Awards. It goes to people who die in some of the most retarded ways. Thus, eliminating they're faulty genes from the gene pool and perpetuating Darwin's theory of evolution. Here's some I can remember off the top of my head.

1. An avid jogger said he always got into the "zone" whenever he ran. Well, he "zoned" out too much and proceeded to run his dumbass right off a cliff.

2. There was a cliff where a young boy had died early from falling off of it. To remember him, a large cross was placed there, right by the edge. One day, a little boy comes across the cross and decides to swing on the horizontal arms. He swung himself right off the cliff.

3. For fun, one man would dig 8' deep or so holes in the sand. Then he'd sit in them for hours. On his last time, the sand collapsed and he was buried alive.

 

[Bikini Mod]

You guys have OBVIOUSLY never met my bitchsters-in-law......unfortunately...THEY HAVE perpetuated their genes!

HAHAHAHAHHAHahahahh...now that is some funny shit. I really needed a laugh today, thank you.

 

[Freak Show]

Since some people wanted more:
True story out of San Fran. A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and would call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left Bank of America and crossed the street to Well's Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America withdraw slip and that he would either have to fill out a Well's Fargo withdraw slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "ok" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line at Bank of America.

A guy walks into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the register. After the cashier put the cash in the bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter. So he told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "I don't believe your'e 21." The robber said he was but the clerk refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave them the name and address of the robber he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

 

[mranderson]

thats great keep them coming.

 

[JUSTINCREDBOL]

hee hee what about that numbnuts who used a twenty-two bullet as a fuse in his pick up truck... rotf.... shot him in the nuts I believe.

 

[YellowD]

Idiot#3
Arkansas. Seems this guy wanted beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he heaved the cinder block over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of plexi-glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
More to come later.

This one's the best, I can see this shit happening in my head exactly how it happened.