Having owned the M5 for over a year now, and just driving the 335 around yesterday and this morning I can say I was still impressed with the 335i's performance. I was not expecting it to be as quick as it is.
No, it doesn't have the brute acceleration or the crisp tight handling the M has (which the M5 still doesn't have immacculate handling it's too heavy), but it is still a damn good car. I like the 335i a lot.
Only thing is, this one is an automatic with paddle shifters, and my M5 has the 6 speed manual. I hate automatics.
Having driven a turbo 300hp STI, and the 300HP turbo BMW, the STI is about equal to the 335i in acceleration and top end power.
Lol @ you calling the 335i grandma's shopping car. This bitch can move pretty damn good. Go drive one at your dealership there. I'm sure bmw's are abundant in your area, you may be impressed yourself.