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rudedawg
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A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."
DOT worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but DOT indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, DOT came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, DOT?" she asked.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, DOT, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"My God, DOT, what happened?"
"I got fired.."
"No, DOT. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she got fired too."
For Wodin and his wife:
There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."
"Yeah," she replied, "just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said, "we were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered, "what do you say...should we get naked?"
Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,"My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!!
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."
DOT worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but DOT indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, DOT came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, DOT?" she asked.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, DOT, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"My God, DOT, what happened?"
"I got fired.."
"No, DOT. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she got fired too."
For Wodin and his wife:
There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."
"Yeah," she replied, "just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said, "we were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered, "what do you say...should we get naked?"
Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,"My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!!
