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jack_schitts Halloween....

jack sparrow

jack sparrow

Think like Jack
Platinum
Check this out:

The fry machine at KFC broke, so I got off work early and came home...well, I was bored stiff and didn't have a party or anything to go to, so I decided to go to the titty bar. I haven't been to a bar since July, so it was a no brainer. I washed my balls and hit the road.

The place was kinda dead when I walked in...bunch of old lonely fucks. There was a HAWT looking blonde dancing on the main stage, right near where I sat down..she was wearing a cute little white thong and working it like it was free (it was) ...she had some jerky moves, but whatever. So there I sat, smoking a cig, sipping a Bud Light, watching the magnificence of her cameltoe just thousands of an inch below the lace...calling out to me. She got down on all fours and stretched out her arm to introduce herself "Hi, I'm Becky" (we'll call her Becky), and I shook the clammiest hand I've ever held. "Nice to meet you Becky" I said (what a fucking drug-o). She continued dancing...glaring at me with "fuck me" eyes all throughout. A 'Billy Jean" remix was playing, and I could tell she wanted some JS schlong.


FF:

She talks me into a lap dance (well, four actually), and says she hasn't had it in 11 months. Her boyfriend beat her and she was a lesbian for a few weeks, blah blah blah. Next thing I know she's all over me like a cheap suit...groping, feeling, sticking her tongue down my throat etc. Well, I jam a finger in a strategic location, only to find that there's room for another three...sweet.

Now "Jesse's Girl" comes on the PA, and all bets are off...she reaches down my pants and starts pleasuring little Jack....damn....so now it's on like Donkey Kong...she tells me she wants to hook up later, and she'll pay for the hotel. I'm like "Seriously?" lol....I'm kind of a tool when it comes to things like that so I say "Ok...I gotta leave for awhile (it's still pretty early and I don't wanna drink and drive) but I'll be back." She grabs a pen when we get back to the bar and scribbles her number down and practically won't let me leave. Fuck sakes.

So I have this smiley face wrist band on right now, and my fingers smell like a combination of mixed berries and cheap brass pole ho...

Nuggas gonna at LEAST dial her up at 2:30a...
 
the moral of the story, always wash your hands before eating
 
LOL... I didn't read anything but about calling her.


You got a strippers number?

Some stripper in San Diego gave me her number in January when I was there, wanted to hook me up with blow and come party all night at the hotel.

I called her, quite tempted... but I resisted - I was 6 months clean and didn't give in to hot whores and coke.
 
jh1 said:
LOL... I didn't read anything but about calling her.


You got a strippers number?

Some stripper in San Diego gave me her number in January when I was there, wanted to hook me up with blow and come party all night at the hotel.

I called her, quite tempted... but I resisted - I was 6 months clean and didn't give in to hot whores and coke.
Click to expand...

She's more of a pot smoking ho from what I gather...maybe some pills, I dunno, but if she picks up, ol' jack-o is gonna play in that shit like he was in the fun house at McDonalds :).
 
its funny because when i worked in the strip club i would have strippers out of nowhere ask if i wanted to get laid. i guess after all night of rubbing on cocks they really need one for real.
 
SCHWEET!!

c00per gave me some karmas :) Plus, puddy tat on the horizon (we'll see)....life is good.

Ok, I'm off like a prom dress...
 
***UPDATE***

Brought her back to my house...what a fuckin druggie. OMG. I didn't even get any, but I let her sleep here in fear that she may leave and kill someone.

Why do I do stupid shit like this?
 
jack_schitt said:
Check this out:

The fry machine at KFC broke, so I got off work early and came home...well, I was bored stiff and didn't have a party or anything to go to, so I decided to go to the titty bar. I haven't been to a bar since July, so it was a no brainer. I washed my balls and hit the road.

The place was kinda dead when I walked in...bunch of old lonely fucks. There was a HAWT looking blonde dancing on the main stage, right near where I sat down..she was wearing a cute little white thong and working it like it was free (it was) ...she had some jerky moves, but whatever. So there I sat, smoking a cig, sipping a Bud Light, watching the magnificence of her cameltoe just thousands of an inch below the lace...calling out to me. She got down on all fours and stretched out her arm to introduce herself "Hi, I'm Becky" (we'll call her Becky), and I shook the clammiest hand I've ever held. "Nice to meet you Becky" I said (what a fucking drug-o). She continued dancing...glaring at me with "fuck me" eyes all throughout. A 'Billy Jean" remix was playing, and I could tell she wanted some JS schlong.


FF:

She talks me into a lap dance (well, four actually), and says she hasn't had it in 11 months. Her boyfriend beat her and she was a lesbian for a few weeks, blah blah blah. Next thing I know she's all over me like a cheap suit...groping, feeling, sticking her tongue down my throat etc. Well, I jam a finger in a strategic location, only to find that there's room for another three...sweet.

Now "Jesse's Girl" comes on the PA, and all bets are off...she reaches down my pants and starts pleasuring little Jack....damn....so now it's on like Donkey Kong...she tells me she wants to hook up later, and she'll pay for the hotel. I'm like "Seriously?" lol....I'm kind of a tool when it comes to things like that so I say "Ok...I gotta leave for awhile (it's still pretty early and I don't wanna drink and drive) but I'll be back." She grabs a pen when we get back to the bar and scribbles her number down and practically won't let me leave. Fuck sakes.

So I have this smiley face wrist band on right now, and my fingers smell like a combination of mixed berries and cheap brass pole ho...

Nuggas gonna at LEAST dial her up at 2:30a...
Click to expand...

I got aroused reading this... even though I came less than an hour ago.
 
jack_schitt said:
I dread what she looks like when she wakes up...her mascara is already running lol. I'm in the living room on my laptop with my earphones on.
Click to expand...

beat off on her
 
haha speaking of mascara running. i was getting a bagel yesterday morn to have sex with, and some emo dude behind the counter had guyliner running all down his face. He must've been new and not used to teh steam; he had his gambino-piece (visor) pulled down way low on his face
 
nimbus said:
haha speaking of mascara running. i was getting a bagel yesterday morn to have sex with, and some emo dude behind the counter had guyliner running all down his face. He must've been new and not used to teh steam; he had his gambino-piece (visor) pulled down way low on his face
Click to expand...

LLOLOLOLOL

Also:

I already cranked one off haha. How else could I be sitting here on the tube with a nekkid woman in my bed? I got the job done...it was my duty.
 
so she was doing drugs at your house?

you should have beat her like her ex
 
what kind of drugs was she into?
and you got zero action? wtf? you def dropped that ball.
stripper, late night at your house and nothing happene?
 
jack_schitt said:
Check this out:

The fry machine at KFC broke, so I got off work early and came home...well, I was bored stiff and didn't have a party or anything to go to, so I decided to go to the titty bar. I haven't been to a bar since July, so it was a no brainer. I washed my balls and hit the road.

The place was kinda dead when I walked in...bunch of old lonely fucks. There was a HAWT looking blonde dancing on the main stage, right near where I sat down..she was wearing a cute little white thong and working it like it was free (it was) ...she had some jerky moves, but whatever. So there I sat, smoking a cig, sipping a Bud Light, watching the magnificence of her cameltoe just thousands of an inch below the lace...calling out to me. She got down on all fours and stretched out her arm to introduce herself "Hi, I'm Becky" (we'll call her Becky), and I shook the clammiest hand I've ever held. "Nice to meet you Becky" I said (what a fucking drug-o). She continued dancing...glaring at me with "fuck me" eyes all throughout. A 'Billy Jean" remix was playing, and I could tell she wanted some JS schlong.


FF:

She talks me into a lap dance (well, four actually), and says she hasn't had it in 11 months. Her boyfriend beat her and she was a lesbian for a few weeks, blah blah blah. Next thing I know she's all over me like a cheap suit...groping, feeling, sticking her tongue down my throat etc. Well, I jam a finger in a strategic location, only to find that there's room for another three...sweet.

Now "Jesse's Girl" comes on the PA, and all bets are off...she reaches down my pants and starts pleasuring little Jack....damn....so now it's on like Donkey Kong...she tells me she wants to hook up later, and she'll pay for the hotel. I'm like "Seriously?" lol....I'm kind of a tool when it comes to things like that so I say "Ok...I gotta leave for awhile (it's still pretty early and I don't wanna drink and drive) but I'll be back." She grabs a pen when we get back to the bar and scribbles her number down and practically won't let me leave. Fuck sakes.

So I have this smiley face wrist band on right now, and my fingers smell like a combination of mixed berries and cheap brass pole ho...

Nuggas gonna at LEAST dial her up at 2:30a...
Click to expand...

repost
 
I'm bad with that ladies, but jezus dude, WTF? You have a stripper come over to your house and don't do anything...wowzers.
 
jestro said:
I'm bad with that ladies, but jezus dude, WTF? You have a stripper come over to your house and don't do anything...wowzers.
Click to expand...


I have had some strippers that are too wacked out you don't want to do it.

Or, she might have just needed a place to sleep. So, she picked the biggest n00b in the club.
 
all the whey said:
I have had some strippers that are too wacked out you don't want to do it.

Or, she might have just needed a place to sleep. So, she picked the biggest n00b in the club.
Click to expand...
Bingo.

It's my guess she was on pillz or something. When we got back to my house, she was even clammier than she was at the club. Also, I wasn't gonna post this, but I noticed skid marks on my bluejeans from where she was grinding against me :worried:.

Lets just say it was an instant turn off.
 
So she was on your dick at the club but not at your house?

what kind of drugs was she doing?
did you join in?
did she shut you down or was she just to unattractive to hit it?
 
borris said:
So she was on your dick at the club but not at your house?

what kind of drugs was she doing?
did you join in?
did she shut you down or was she just to unattractive to hit it?
Click to expand...

Not sure what kind of drugs, but she seemed like some kind of pill head. She told me she smoked pot but thats about it. I'm lucky if I drink a beer every now and then, so I didn't join in any drug-o games.

I played it off like I wasn't feeling good and then whacked it in the bathroom after she went to sleep. If she woke up and caught me, she'd have known I was lying. I'm kind of regretting it today...I'm thinking about calling her up again.
 
jack_schitt said:
Bingo.

It's my guess she was on pillz or something. When we got back to my house, she was even clammier than she was at the club. Also, I wasn't gonna post this, but I noticed skid marks on my bluejeans from where she was grinding against me :worried:.

Lets just say it was an instant turn off.
Click to expand...

skid marks or snail tracks? I need to know....
 
LOL @ all this. Wow, those 4 lap dances certainly lost value in a few hours.

It's sad when a "hottest stripper", passed out, in your house, can't get you into having sex.

You still did good. You're not a pathetic 'fuck'. At least not tonight.



pics
 
gonelifting said:
LOL @ all this. Wow, those 4 lap dances certainly lost value in a few hours.

It's sad when a "hottest stripper", passed out, in your house, can't get you into having sex.

You still did good. You're not a pathetic 'fuck'. At least not tonight.



pics
Click to expand...
I should have got pics, but I wasn't thinking. I could prolly still take pics of the skid marks.
 
jack_schitt said:
Skid marks bro. Unmistakable.
Click to expand...

WOW! Imagine how bad she would have felt if she saw them on your pants as well.
 
jack_schitt said:
Skid marks bro. Unmistakable.
Click to expand...

I think I just throughup a little....
 
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