IS there anything we can do?

[cindylou]

I have a neighbor in a downward spirial. I think he will end up dead soon if someone does not intervene but at the same time its none of my business:

His wife and child left him last year and since then he's drinking everday and he's lost so much weight he looks like an aids patient. This guy used to work out 24/7 and was huge. He looks almost dead already. He can barely walk. He has no family and as far as I can tell my husband is the only person who he even knows, even though they are not really "friends". But he will shuffle over and ask my husband to call his ex wife while crying that she never lets him see his daughter...but who would?? Ugh. its such a bad deal.

He used to have a great job as an Engineer at one of the best places to work in this city, and he's been fired for drinking. He's losing everything, and its happening so quickly its scary. I think he is going to kill himself Leaving Las Vegas style.

Its none of our business to get involved but I wish I could do something...like anonymous or something. I dont know.

 

[Sub-Zero]

getting him laid is the only thing you can do to help

 

[cindylou]

getting him laid is the only thing you can do to help

gross. Im disgusting. That would make him drink even more

 

[musclemom]

You have his ex-wife's number. Call her. Tell her what's going on (no doubt she probably knows) ask her to contact his family, if she won't do that, as her for information to contact his family yourself. You're not family and he's over 21. Maybe if people who love him are informed of what's going on they might intervene.

Otherwise, you could try to be his friend and get through to him, but honestly, that's some hard shit and you have enough on your plate with the baby coming. People consumed by an addiction get very selfish and don't care who they take down as they obey the commands of their demon.

 

[digimon7068]

i believe that there are ways to have a person committed if they are truly a danger to themselves and/or others. . .every state is different, though. . .do you have an attorney friend that can answer a question like that??

 

[Sub-Zero]

gross. Im disgusting. That would make him drink even more

pics?

i meant introduce him to a friend, wingman at a bar for him loL!

 

[musclemom]

i believe that there are ways to have a person committed if they are truly a danger to themselves and/or others. . .every state is different, though. . .do you have an attorney friend that can answer a question like that??

You're talking involuntary psychiatric committal. This paragraph (courtesy of Wikipedia) pretty much sums up the whys and wherefores of that:

... although different jurisdictions have different criteria. Some allow involuntary commitment only if the person both appears to be suffering from a mental illness and that the effects of this produce a risk to themselves or others. Other jurisdictions have criteria that are broader.

In essence, being a starving drunk, as long as you ain't messing with anyone else or threatening suicide, is not sufficient reason to have someone committed. It's not against the law to be drunk in the privacy of your own home.

 

[Strongbow]

I have a neighbor in a downward spirial. I think he will end up dead soon if someone does not intervene but at the same time its none of my business:

His wife and child left him last year and since then he's drinking everday and he's lost so much weight he looks like an aids patient. This guy used to work out 24/7 and was huge. He looks almost dead already. He can barely walk. He has no family and as far as I can tell my husband is the only person who he even knows, even though they are not really "friends". But he will shuffle over and ask my husband to call his ex wife while crying that she never lets him see his daughter...but who would?? Ugh. its such a bad deal.

He used to have a great job as an Engineer at one of the best places to work in this city, and he's been fired for drinking. He's losing everything, and its happening so quickly its scary. I think he is going to kill himself Leaving Las Vegas style.

Its none of our business to get involved but I wish I could do something...like anonymous or something. I dont know.

I didn't know you lived next to Pick3.

 

[jnevin]

You have to hit bottom before you know which way is up.

 

[redsamurai]

sad story. He was an engineer and built like a shithouse eh? How do you fall from that? I mean how do you not land on your feet almost immediately with that tool set?

 

[Melaina]

It is very difficult to get intervention for an adult.... if they were neglected and elderly that's one thing... a child another but a grown man who's drinking himself to death... really, the family needs to step in and attempt to bring him to the ER and hope for a mandatory 72 hour suicide watch, that's about it.

 

[Razorguns]

What can YOU do? Nothing.

Sad but if the person does NOT want to help themselves first, there's nothing you, therapists, family members, friends, etc. can do. Most people learn this the hard way through agonizing frustration and stress. In fact many times the person will turn on you for trying to offer them help, or if such help fails.

r

 

[cindylou]

sad story. He was an engineer and built like a shithouse eh? How do you fall from that? I mean how do you not land on your feet almost immediately with that tool set?

Thats whats even more disturbing about this whole thing? It makes no sense.

Thanks guys. His family lives half the country away but maybe I can get my husband to call his exwife and see if she can call family members or at least give him some contact information.

If we do something we will feel a little better if the ambulance and cops show up at his house one day.

Its like he is trying to kill himself slowly, I've never seen anything like it in my life.

I know MM, we dont really want to take on the responsiblity of trying to help him out of this ; and we really are not that close to him to do it anyway...but I really think he as noone. No one. They were kind of an introverted couple in teh first place, only friends with people at the gym and work, and not one car has stopped by his house in months Im not sure any of the relationships he developed at the gym or at work really were anything substantial enough anyway......

after he lost his job he wrecked his car all while getting a DUI and now has no license so he cant even rent a car. This has all happened in the past couple of months. He cashed out his 401k and is living off his retirement and drinking away.....Ive never seen anything like it.

I've never seen anyone with so much going for them go down so quickly - I think his appearance was the most shocking of it all

 

[cindylou]

What can YOU do? Nothing.

Sad but if the person does NOT want to help themselves first, there's nothing you, therapists, family members, friends, etc. can do. Most people learn this the hard way through agonizing frustration and stress. In fact many times the person will turn on you for trying to offer them help, or if such help fails.

r

Yeah, I guess this is pretty much it. I guess I'll just try my best to contact his closest family if his ex wife wont and I guess I'll have to let it go.

 

[EnderJE]

Sometimes, people can't be saved. Sometimes, the gene pool must be thinned.

 

[Smurfy]

Ive seen this kind of thing happen before

 

[puddlemonkey]

women are trouble

 

[chris302001]

i bet he's hyponatremic...

 

[Smurfy]

women are trouble

lmao

 

[Razorguns]

Sometimes, people can't be saved. Sometimes, the gene pool must be thinned.

No different then your average homeless guy begging for money on the street. 1000's of people try to help, give money, etc. none of them succeed. Even if you try to help some of them with say getting a job or get new clothes, they''ll tell you to go fuck yourself.

r

 

[shrimp poboy]

You guys are fuckin idiots with some of your posts jnevin is right you do have to hit bottom and sometimes far below that to realize that you are powerless over your addiction and sometimes it takes losing everything.There was a time in my life when i had a net worth of close to a million but my drug use brought that number to about -100,000.Ive been clean from drugs for almost 2 yrs and not a day goes by that im not tempted to go on a bender but a modest home and loving family always makes me reconsider sticking that needle in my arm or swallowing a handful of pills the guy has hope he just needs a little help.

 

[puddlemonkey]

You guys are fuckin idiots with some of your posts jnevin is right you do have to hit bottom and sometimes far below that to realize that you are powerless over your addiction and sometimes it takes losing everything.There was a time in my life when i had a net worth of close to a million but my drug use brought that number to about -100,000.Ive been clean from drugs for almost 2 yrs and not a day goes by that im not tempted to go on a bender but a modest home and loving family always makes me reconsider sticking that needle in my arm or swallowing a handful of pills the guy has hope he just needs a little help.

Nice run on sentences e-tard.

 

[digimon7068]

You're talking involuntary psychiatric committal. This paragraph (courtesy of Wikipedia) pretty much sums up the whys and wherefores of that:

... although different jurisdictions have different criteria. Some allow involuntary commitment only if the person both appears to be suffering from a mental illness and that the effects of this produce a risk to themselves or others. Other jurisdictions have criteria that are broader.

In essence, being a starving drunk, as long as you ain't messing with anyone else or threatening suicide, is not sufficient reason to have someone committed. It's not against the law to be drunk in the privacy of your own home.

yup. . .that's exactly what i said. . .i've actually been privy to couple of such incidents. . .that's why i said what i said. . .plus, i'm pretty sure that drinking yourself to death is the sign of a mental illness. . .

 

[billfred]

You have to hit bottom before you know which way is up.

No better way to put this. I have seen this too many times in my own family and they either hit bottom and seek help or they die. There is nothing you can do other than tell him he needs help but only he can decide to go get it.

 

[jnevin]

I'm clearly the smartest person here.

 

[billfred]

I'm clearly the smartest person here.

or formerly the drunkest

 

[jnevin]

or formerly the drunkest

Yeah, I never got as bas as quite a few people I've known or seen at meetings, but your mindset is the same even if the execution is differeent. I was lucky enough to have somewhat of a moment of clarity as things got their worst for me. When Hannibal died I wanted to drink until I was numb but I loved that stinky fuck so much I didn't want to have his memory tarnished in any way. Then I just applied that to everything else. I've slipped a few times but the fear of becoming what I was is so much greater than my desire to just not feel what I don't want to feel. I hope this guy can get out of his hole instead of doing what my friend in the same situation did. When you're on a depressant 100% of the time and not thinking clearly sometimes ending it all seems like the only option.