Is there a real use to undergoing sadness?

[Hiatussin]

I will use the example of music, but it could also be activities, books, places you go-

When people feel down they will tend to play sad music and dwell on it.
This only makes you feel worse. Does it even really help you get up again?
Isn´t it better to do things that make you feel good?

Could it not be better not to give in to sadness?

I´ve asked this question to friends before, perhaps in some better words(im not sure if I´m coming across), they told me I´m a despisable flat hedonist pig.

 

[BUBBLES]

I try to stay away from anything that makes me feel sad, anything like music, places, food, smells etc. Dwelling in sad moments is not my thing.

 

[KillahBee]

I personally think a lot of people enjoy sadness, deep down. It can be an extreme emotion and for most of our lives we do not feel such extremes. Also, it gives people a purpose, something to do, something to occupy their time, instead of reality TV and talking about useless bullshit to fill their empty moments of their useless lives.

 

[PICK3]

Sadness is relative. If you felt happy all the time you wouldn't know it because you wouldn't have anything to compare it to.

Unfortunately for me I feel sad about 99% of the time.

 

[Gymgurl]

i agree with Bee

 

[Hiatussin]

Sadness is relative. If you felt happy all the time you wouldn't know it because you wouldn't have anything to compare it to.

Unfortunately for me I feel sad about 99% of the time.

so how do YOU know how others feel, and that you feel sad all the time?

I assume you have never been anyone else.

I think you´re being histrionic and pitying yourself

 

[velvett]

I think most people exist on a daily basis in some sort of sadness or comfort and only when they experience joy or elation do they realize their sadness or gross comfort.

Then there are those who thrive on the negative...

 

[PBR]

"the force of mind is only as great as its expression;
its depth only as deep as its power to
expand and lose itself..."

Killah, Velvett- i agree...it is also a way of "Dealing" with a matter at hand, and not filing it away for it to surface all at once or compound....tho we often bring forth the same sorrow because of memories-it allows reflection in which we gain wisdom from...

 

[PICK3]

so how do YOU know how others feel, and that you feel sad all the time?

I assume you have never been anyone else.

I think you´re being histrionic and pitying yourself

no ... I'm pretty sure my life sucks.

 

[velvett]

"the force of mind is only as great as its expression;
its depth only as deep as its power to
expand and lose itself..."

Killah, Velvett- i agree...it is also a way of "Dealing" with a matter at hand, and not filing it away for it to surface all at once or compound....tho we often bring forth the same sorrow because of memories-it allows reflection in which we gain wisdom from...

well put





I never knew ther burden of sadness or the constraint of comfort until a moment of innocent and very basic happiness hit me.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

this isnt an easy thing to describe, but listening to ultra depressing greek music after having had far too much red wine and dancing a tsiftedeli alone lets me revisit sad times in my life that, despite bringing me very low, have enriched my life experience and made me the person i am, experiences that, for their terrible revelations, i would not do without. you probably wouldnt understand until youve danced in a dim room, alone yet in the midst of scores, with tears a shade from the surface, lost in thought, in rhythm, in memory, others feeling the same yet allowing you your privacy, having a shot and smashing the glass against the floor, dancing in misery on the pieces of glass as on the shards of your own broken dreams and heart, in defiance of the travesty of what should have been but is not.

foreigngirl would understand

i know i have some wine around here someplace.

 

[PBR]

well put





I never knew burden sadness or the constraint of comfort until a moment of innocent and very basic happiness hit me.

yes....comparisons are pictures we paint, sometimes we paint in black and white- other times with color.

 

[EnderJE]

It gives people a belief about purpose.

 

[Island Son]

I will use the example of music, but it could also be activities, books, places you go-

When people feel down they will tend to play sad music and dwell on it.
This only makes you feel worse. Does it even really help you get up again?
Isn´t it better to do things that make you feel good?

Could it not be better not to give in to sadness?

I´ve asked this question to friends before, perhaps in some better words(im not sure if I´m coming across), they told me I´m a despisable flat hedonist pig.

I think it's best not to give in. Keep giving yourself positive reinforcement and you'll rarely be sad.
but the last time i felt really down (maybe 8 years ago) i listened to melancholy blues and country for a few days until it was so ridiculous I couldn't take it anymore. Then I was happy again. But burning it out like that isn't for everyone.

 

[Island Son]

Some modern therapists believe there are ways to accept unhappy thoughts so they lose their power

"Happiness isn't normal" reprinted from Time magazine (feb 13 issue)
http://www.healthyplace.com/news_2006/therapy.asp

 

[JayC9]

imo, sadness or the darker side of things is like a cliff top view, sometimes its good to walk right up there and take a look from that perspective but its dangerous to stand around for too long.

The whole 'I hate the world and the world hates me' thing is a dead ender.

 

[Lao Tzu]

Its a good question, and I really don't know. I've been reading alot of evolutionary psychology lately (its a damn interesting subject and answers alot of questions) and I would guess it could be one of many things.

1. A self destruct method. Most sad people end up encouraging their own sadness by thinking negative thoughts (depressed people think about 500 negative thoughts a day, non depressed feel about 50) and they push away friends and family when they need them most. It is a way to save the group by destroying yourself.

2. An accident. Evolution isn't perfect, maybe it is an unwanted side effect. The brain chemistry may just have a self perpetuating effect that serves no real purpose.

It is dangerous to constantly ruminate though. Research has shown that the brain area gets stronger and stronger as you obsess over your sadness and after a while it becomes really easy to activate it. I can't find the article right now but I remember reading that ruminating and feeling sad just makes the brain pathways that cause sadness and rumination stronger and easier to activate in the future. You feel bad because something bad happens, then you remember something else bad that happened, and it keeps going like that. In the future the pathways are even stronger. Here is a good article though.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-2680.html

FTR, I know Tony Robbins, the self help guru, recommends obsessing over soultions to your problems instead of the problem itself. It is hard to do but it is more productive.

 

[biteme]

I will use the example of music, but it could also be activities, books, places you go-

When people feel down they will tend to play sad music and dwell on it.
This only makes you feel worse. Does it even really help you get up again?
Isn´t it better to do things that make you feel good?

Could it not be better not to give in to sadness?

I´ve asked this question to friends before, perhaps in some better words(im not sure if I´m coming across), they told me I´m a despisable flat hedonist pig.

Sometimes a good cry is good for you. It cleanses your spirit. I just do it alone.

 

[musclemom]

I will use the example of music, but it could also be activities, books, places you go-

When people feel down they will tend to play sad music and dwell on it.
This only makes you feel worse. Does it even really help you get up again?
Isn´t it better to do things that make you feel good?

Could it not be better not to give in to sadness?

I´ve asked this question to friends before, perhaps in some better words(im not sure if I´m coming across), they told me I´m a despisable flat hedonist pig.

I don't like purposely revisiting sorrow or grief or wallowing in it purposely, but sometimes it's unavoidable. Today was a good example. Today is the second anniversary of my mother's death. A beautiful day, husband and I were running an errand and commenting on spring and everything coming to life. And I thought of her and I wanted to cry. My mother loved to see plants grow, and spring growth.... her first sight of a flock of robins would make her entire day just typing this is getting me a pinch choked up, okay?

Those who suffer from true depression can't necessarily NOT be sad. The meds don't make you happy, per se, sometimes they just alleviate the grief, leaving NOT SORROW ...

It's been my observation that if you've never been depressed, you don't understand what it's like to feel bleak. No, Hiat, you can't just go, "well, enough of this shit, I'm going dancing." Normally people can't switch their emotions off like a lightswitch.

 

[biteme]

I don't like purposely revisiting sorrow or grief or wallowing in it purposely, but sometimes it's unavoidable. Today was a good example. Today is the second anniversary of my mother's death. A beautiful day, husband and I were running an errand and commenting on spring and everything coming to life. And I thought of her and I wanted to cry. My mother loved to see plants grow, and spring growth.... her first sight of a flock of robins would make her entire day just typing this is getting me a pinch choked up, okay?

Those who suffer from true depression can't necessarily NOT be sad. The meds don't make you happy, per se, sometimes they just alleviate the grief, leaving NOT SORROW ...

It's been my observation that if you've never been depressed, you don't understand what it's like to feel bleak. No, Hiat, you can't just go, "well, enough of this shit, I'm going dancing." Normally people can't switch their emotions off like a lightswitch.

Reading this made me cry. Almost.

 

[PICK3]

I'm sad thinking about returning to work tomorrow.

 

[biteme]

I'm sad thinking about returning to work tomorrow.

LOL. That makes 2 of us. Let's just laugh about it. Life is work, work, work. I want to go on a permanent vacation.

 

[foreigngirl]

this isnt an easy thing to describe, but listening to ultra depressing greek music after having had far too much red wine and dancing a tsiftedeli alone lets me revisit sad times in my life that, despite bringing me very low, have enriched my life experience and made me the person i am, experiences that, for their terrible revelations, i would not do without. you probably wouldnt understand until youve danced in a dim room, alone yet in the midst of scores, with tears a shade from the surface, lost in thought, in rhythm, in memory, others feeling the same yet allowing you your privacy, having a shot and smashing the glass against the floor, dancing in misery on the pieces of glass as on the shards of your own broken dreams and heart, in defiance of the travesty of what should have been but is not.

foreigngirl would understand

i know i have some wine around here someplace.

ah, yes.....I've been there....but that sadness is bitter-sweet....those tears that come with listening to those songs are just liberating and addictive some times. When one is over, you want more and more, so you can drench your sadness in the wine and music..


damn you, greek boy

 

[wootoom]

music is a big key to sadness.