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Is my ideal man real?

W

wlibbe

New member
Okay-seriously-I want to know if there are any men out there like this: Men who want to satify their women? Men who really and truly appreciate and respect their women? Men who put their women up on a pedestal? Men who treat their women like they would want their mother to be treated?

I seem to be believing less and less everyday that there are actually men like this.
 
wlibbe said:
Okay-seriously-I want to know if there are any men out there like this: Men who want to satify their women? Men who really and truly appreciate and respect their women? Men who put their women up on a pedestal? Men who treat their women like they would want their mother to be treated?

I seem to be believing less and less everyday that there are actually men like this.
Click to expand...
I am sure there are lots of men that like to be pussy whipped like you want your man to be. LOL

On a pedestal??????? Come on! I treat my wife in every way that you want except the pedestal thing. No one in my mind belongs on a pedestal.
 
Okay-you are right-maybe that pedestal thing came out the wrong way-I am not asking to be worshipped. I just want to know if there are men that really respect and want to take care of their women?
 
wlibbe said:
Okay-seriously-I want to know if there are any men out there like this: Men who want to satify their women? Men who really and truly appreciate and respect their women? Men who put their women up on a pedestal? Men who treat their women like they would want their mother to be treated?

I seem to be believing less and less everyday that there are actually men like this.
Click to expand...

Yes, this man exists.

Unfortunately for you, I'm taken and plan to remain so for quite some time. =)

-Warik
 
Yeah now find me a woman who will accept that and not run to someone who treats her like shit. Least I am not bitter.
 
Re: Re: Is my ideal man real?

actually yes that would be me

I have been dating this older woman for about 2 months

I say older, beacuse I am 23 and she is 30.

i have just been myself, and treated her like I would treat anywomen that deserves respect.

I am considerate, affectionate, publically, and esp. privatley,

and when we make love I reallly make love to her, and when I kiss I really kiss her...with all of me, and she senses that and really appreciates it. when she had 3 orgasm the other night on the second one she cried at the end..but it was tears of joy.

I said "why are you crying?"

and even though I subconsciusly new the answer...

she said "you've touched me"

I new I did bucuase I poured forth into her my essence my heart, and my feelings and she felt that and gave it back.

you know how good it feels!?!?!

damn good.....and because of it it makes me be a better person.

I think the down fall of most youth these days is that we all take............we take in the market place.....in business, in government and well everywhere........we have a consumer society...........well finally that behavior and mode of consuming has seeped into our relationships.....where we use people like a klinex then throw them away........when you go through this repeatedly you close up inside.....and if enough people experience this we all close up.......and hence we never develop who we are suppossed to be or how to treat others with any semblance of appreciation, because we have never been appreciated our selves..........

the way I am with the 30 year old is damn hard to replicate with a girl my age or younger...almost impossible I hate to say...but I will still try...and if they take then they will take....i refuse to close up, or give up because if I did I would feed the environment that I just condemned
 
I want to know if there are any men out there like this: Men who want to satify their women? Men who really and truly appreciate and respect their women? Men who put their women up on a pedestal? Men who treat their women like they would want their mother to be treated?

TRANSLATION:

I want to know if there are any men who will give me all the money, attention, accolades, narcissistic strokes, etc. that my daddy used to give me, with nothing in return, because I'm VERY special. Men who truly appreciate that I need to be in charge of the relationship without actually seeming like I'm in charge? Any men who can take financial care of me, but still put up with years of tortuous neurotic and emotionally pathological shit? Men who treat their woman like they have no lives, feelings, needs and wants of their own? Because as soon as I find the chump that seems to fit this profile, I'm gonna turn Queen Vampire on him, squeeze out a few puppies, and milk him for everything he's worth, or will ever be worth.

Grow up, sweetie.:)
 
wlibbe said:
Okay-seriously-I want to know if there are any men out there like this: Men who want to satify their women? Men who really and truly appreciate and respect their women? Men who put their women up on a pedestal? Men who treat their women like they would want their mother to be treated?

I seem to be believing less and less everyday that there are actually men like this.
Click to expand...

What are you bringing to the table???
 
so is she saying she's never found a man that treats her right? maybe she's been going after the wrong kind of guy then. Give me a break, there are tons of nice guys out there, sadly, women tend to go after dickheads until they get older and wise up.
 
NO - that DOESN'T exist.....relationships are what you make them....your behavior dictates how your mate treats you. Do you respect yourself? Do you put yourself up on a pedestal?

All relationships have up and down cycles, most people don't know that because they are too weak to stick it out though the rough times to get back to the good times.

We are human beings....FLAWED HUMAN BEINGS WITH NO HOPE OF ACHIEVING PERFECTION UNTIL WE ARE WITH GOD - so stop expecting it.
 
Last edited:
wlibbe said:
Okay-seriously-I want to know if there are any men out there like this: Men who want to satify their women? Men who really and truly appreciate and respect their women? Men who put their women up on a pedestal? Men who treat their women like they would want their mother to be treated?

I seem to be believing less and less everyday that there are actually men like this.
Click to expand...

yes...i am married to him and i treat him the same way...these guys are out there you just have to find them:D
 
well she does live in Atlanta.. it is hard enough to find guys here who even like chicks.
 
Okay...wow.

First of all...I posed this question because I am married and not exactly happily. I just wanted to know if I was expecting too much or if my ideal of a man is realistic.

fkight2000-your translation is SO off. I don't want that at all. I just want someone who treats me the right way. I definitely think it has to be a mutual thing but why would I continue to give all of this respect to someone who has none for me?

Omega-you pretty much answered my question. YES-they do exist! Guess I just have to find one. :) Thanks for sharing all of that.
 
It is hard to meet people here in Atlanta. Very Hard. You might meet someone at a club or bar... but not the kind of person to settle down with.. that is rare.
 
dballer-I totally agree. It is difficult. Who the hell knows...I was just trying to put my current situation into perspective...wondering if there is more out there for me. That is all. :)
 
wlibbe said:
dballer-I totally agree. It is difficult. Who the hell knows...I was just trying to put my current situation into perspective...wondering if there is more out there for me. That is all. :)
Click to expand...

Sure there is... just get ready for a search. Stay away from the in-town party scene. I think you can meet better people outside the perimiter. I like Marietta.
 
dballer-

Wow...I live in Marietta. You know...the whole East Cobb Snob thing! Just kidding! But you are so right. Maybe someday...
 
wlibbe said:
dballer-

Wow...I live in Marietta. You know...the whole East Cobb Snob thing! Just kidding! But you are so right. Maybe someday...
Click to expand...

Yeah.. not a bad place. If you hit O'shaunessey's on the right night.

I grew up there. I went to Pope and Sprayberry.
 
You most likley know my younger brother.. I was out of there in 1992.,.. but I am sure you have heard of me.. I am well known there. Do you ever hang out at Oshaunesseys?

do you know Neil DeBary?
 
Yes-I know Neil. Don't you have another brother or are you Will? This is really weird. Check your PM's. I have only been there a couple of times.
 
wlibbe said:
Men who put their women up on a pedestal?

Men who treat their women like they would want their mother to be treated?

I seem to be believing less and less everyday that there are actually men like this.
Click to expand...


You don't want to be on a pedestal - believe me - the ride down when you fall off is a real trip. You perhaps could want to find your equal.


There's some freakish truth about how a man treats his mother but it's not fool-proof by any means. I know a few men that have no real relationship with their mothers but are quiet respectable to women.

There are men out there like what you seem to be looking for - but sometimes the wolf is really not a wolf sometimes it's just a defense mechanism as not to be treated as the lamb.

:D

There are quite a few very wonderful men right here on this very board - you just have to take the time to listen to what they have to say.
 
Re: Re: Is my ideal man real?

velvett said:



There are quite a few very wonderful men right here on this very board - you just have to take the time to listen to what they have to say.
Click to expand...

Stop talking about me, you are making me blush ;)
 
wlibbe said:
Okay...wow.

First of all...I posed this question because I am married and not exactly happily. I just wanted to know if I was expecting too much or if my ideal of a man is realistic.
Click to expand...


Hmmm....I am probably the only one that has a little problem with this....

When you got married, wasn't this man the man of your dreams? The one you chose to spend your life with? I realize, that the are some other unfortunate reasons that people get married.....

A relationship is what you make of it...and every relationship is going to have it's grey times...these, in my book, are meant to be there to test your love and committment to one another. And when you overcome them, you will find a deeper connection to one another. Everyday, will not be golden. And as far as happiness goes, you are the only person that can make yourself happy. Don't depend on others to do this for you....no matter who it is. You are the only one who is in control of your destiny.

~toga
:angel:
 
velvett said:



Howdy Db....

:D
Click to expand...

Who is your day going? The office is dead today. We have the people from Cicsco here updating software.. so I get to mess around again today.
 
toga22 said:



Hmmm....I am probably the only one that has a little problem with this....

When you got married, wasn't this man the man of your dreams? The one you chose to spend your life with? I realize, that the are some other unfortunate reasons that people get married.....

A relationship is what you make of it...and every relationship is going to have it's grey times...these, in my book, are meant to be there to test your love and committment to one another. And when you overcome them, you will find a deeper connection to one another. Everyday, will not be golden. And as far as happiness goes, you are the only person that can make yourself happy. Don't depend on others to do this for you....no matter who it is. You are the only one who is in control of your destiny.

~toga
:angel:
Click to expand...

toga-

I agree with you...we have been together for 7 years but things change after you get married and he has changed and not for the better. I don't know if what we are going through is technically a grey time or just the way it is going to be forever. There are so many things that need to change--it seems impossible. I agree-only you can make yourself happy but it is okay to want someone else to make you happy too.
 
Re: Re: Re: Is my ideal man real?

OMEGA said:
the way I am with the 30 year old is damn hard to replicate with a girl my age or younger...almost impossible I hate to say...but I will still try...and if they take then they will take....i refuse to close up, or give up because if I did I would feed the environment that I just condemned
Click to expand...


Are you saying youre getting rid of the 30 year old for a younger girl? It sounds to me like you got something special. I just started dating an older man (by almost 10 years) and I've never been treated so well==not that other guys have treated me bad, just that, well I guess he just really makes me feel special.
 
wlibbe said:


toga-

I agree with you...we have been together for 7 years but things change after you get married and he has changed and not for the better. I don't know if what we are going through is technically a grey time or just the way it is going to be forever. There are so many things that need to change--it seems impossible. I agree-only you can make yourself happy but it is okay to want someone else to make you happy too.
Click to expand...

Is he the one who has changed or is it you? I don't know how bad your relationship has gotten, but have you tried counseling? Do you have any desire to work things out? Do you have any idea what's causing all these changes in your relationship? Maybe you ought to try to work things out before either one of you does something that will scar the other one emotionally for life.

IMO, the 'ideal man' does not exist. Just like the 'ideal woman' does not exist. No one is perfect, I know I'm not, so I would not expect whoever I'm involved with to be either. You just have to pick a few ideal traits that are really important to you, and overlook the rest and love unconditionally. I also think that you have to work harder to keep things fresh and new when you are married. I think alot of couples just take their spouses for granted once they get married and they don't show their love or appreciation for the other person as much anymore.

Good luck, I hope things work out for both of you.
 
I have plenty to offer a man....and I know that...which is why it's hard to find a guy, I won't date a cocky asshole and NY seems to be full of them...I don't trust very many men, I am at the complete opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to being naive...so I can relate to some of what you're saying....just work on yourself and concentrate on what's important to you, I'm sure one day a good man will be right under your nose....hopefully that will be the case for me as well
 
VicTusDeuS said:
I'd rather eat a sweet pussy than have my dick sucked...I'd also do anything for the girl if she was the right one.
Click to expand...

You are all hooked up bro...
Now go get'em!!!!
 
polarpixie said:


Is he the one who has changed or is it you? I don't know how bad your relationship has gotten, but have you tried counseling? Do you have any desire to work things out? Do you have any idea what's causing all these changes in your relationship? Maybe you ought to try to work things out before either one of you does something that will scar the other one emotionally for life.

IMO, the 'ideal man' does not exist. Just like the 'ideal woman' does not exist. No one is perfect, I know I'm not, so I would not expect whoever I'm involved with to be either. You just have to pick a few ideal traits that are really important to you, and overlook the rest and love unconditionally. I also think that you have to work harder to keep things fresh and new when you are married. I think alot of couples just take their spouses for granted once they get married and they don't show their love or appreciation for the other person as much anymore.

Good luck, I hope things work out for both of you.
Click to expand...

Well-I guess both of us have changed and just gone in different directions. I am not sure about counseling-everything needs to be fixed-not just one thing-I don't know if it would be worth it or not. I am kind of lost as to what to do next. I am just working on it one day at a time and trying to figure everything out.

I guess my biggest issue is that I want to be appreciated. I don't get that at all. It is a big mess but I know that whatever is supposed to happen will happen.

This is just my Aquarius idealistic tendencies taking over.
 
wlibbe said:


This is just my Aquarius idealistic tendencies taking over.
Click to expand...

My brother is Aquarius.. I am Capircorn... we were both born in January.. kinda weird huh?
 
A friend of mine asked me the same question the other day. It got me thinking. Omega's post made me think some more....

I'm basically a nice guy. I can act like a dick sometimes just for kicks, but deep down I have a good heart. :) I genuinely like females and really enjoy their company, and I think my attitude is reflected in the way I treat women.

The only problem is I don't really care about any of the girls I date.

It's true, and realizing this disturbed me greatly. I can go out with a girl, act romantic, and even sleep with her, but at no point to I allow myself to develop any deeper feelings.

I think for many men, and me, it's a defense mechanism. I can get dumped or told to fuck off, and if doesn't phase me a bit --- I just laugh it off. It's a really shitty situation to be in though. I'm not friends with any of the girls I've gone out with. And the few women I actually consider friends basically think I'm a freak since I can't manage to settle down with a girl for any length of time.

Wlibbe, to answer your question, I think the vast majority of men are warm and generous people. The only problem being they don't allow themselves to be vulnerable...God knows that's my problem. Guys like me are hit and run. We want to make a girl feel special, and sometimes we do...but for the most part we have to maintain a certain emotional detachment. To make someone feel truly special you have to open yourself up to them completely -- emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, etc. That's not something I (or most guys) know how to do yet.

Yeah, it's fucked up. lol I'm working on changing my attitude and I hope other guys are doing the same.
 
I had no idea we were so much alike!! And to think we lived next door to eachother for 20 years!!! weird huh?

we will go to lunch soon!!
 
VicTusDeuS said:
I'd rather eat a sweet pussy than have my dick sucked...I'd also do anything for the girl if she was the right one.
Click to expand...

My God man!! What is wrong with you??
 
dballer~

I know it is very strange...but hey at least we are going to hang out now :)

Thanks to everyone else for your comments-I still don't know what the hell I am going to do. I just want someone who does not yell at me all the fucking time and make me feel worthless...maybe someday. Thanks again.
 
wlibbe said:
dballer~

I know it is very strange...but hey at least we are going to hang out now :)

Thanks to everyone else for your comments-I still don't know what the hell I am going to do. I just want someone who does not yell at me all the fucking time and make me feel worthless...maybe someday. Thanks again.
Click to expand...

That is easier to find than it is to deal with some asshole treating you like crap!!!

right?
 
Finding a compatible and worthy partner is a difficult task. As many have already stated, finding a suitable partner begins within your own mind and heart. Self respect, confidence and understanding of one's self leads to a better love life.

You must be willing to equally offer all that you are seacrching for in a potential partner. Using a relationship as a means to validate and substantiate your life will only blind you from the fundamentals of love and relationships. Concentrating on particulars will only cause misunderstandings and stress.

As some have stated before, finding happiness with your own life will lead to happiness throughout your life as a whole.
 
There is no such thing as an ideal man or woman. Having idealist thoughts and aspirations only leads to disappointment for the future and the present situation around you.
No one is perfect and no one can look, act, etc, etc the way that we want them to all of the time.
I have pondered the question many many a times and have come to the conclusion that as an idealist myself, I must put my ideals aside and be happy with what has been put in front of me.


bunny
 
wlibbe said:
Okay-seriously-I want to know if there are any men out there like this: Men who want to satify their women? Men who really and truly appreciate and respect their women? Men who put their women up on a pedestal? Men who treat their women like they would want their mother to be treated?

I seem to be believing less and less everyday that there are actually men like this.
Click to expand...

My folks raised me to be old-fashioned and I believe in what you have said here. I also know several other friends of mine that believed this as well. Keep the faith---your man does exist, and I pray that the lord with lead him to you.
 
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