In a weird sticky spot/wwyd

[Cutiebolic]

no cutie..that was my first impulse
There's no way to pull it off though.

I'm sorry. That is a crappy sitch... There's no clear answer. She is probably too young to be down there by herself right now, though. That would be extremely traumatic for anyone but especially for a 13 year old.

I would definitely bring her home. But that's just me. You know her best -- what does she need?

 

[shirlene29]

Thats just it. She's a teenager and her needs change at the drop of a hat ya know?

she wasnt concerned about him yesterday but in fairness no one thought things were very bad and her vacation in the keys had been ruined
she was really looking forward to this vacation with her dad

I feel really bad for her and wont really have anyway to even make up the vacation to her let alone the obvious inadequacy of what to do for her if he dies.

Theres some bad blood there that will make this all incredibly worse for her.

 

[simply dave]

Thats just it. She's a teenager and her needs change at the drop of a hat ya know?

she wasnt concerned about him yesterday but in fairness no one thought things were very bad and her vacation in the keys had been ruined
she was really looking forward to this vacation with her dad

I feel really bad for her and wont really have anyway to even make up the vacation to her let alone the obvious inadequacy of what to do for her if he dies.

Theres some bad blood there that will make this all incredibly worse for her.

One thing I've learned over the years...

No matter how bad things are between one and one's loved ones. Don't let "bad blood" ever get in the way of telling a loved one that you..."love them". Why? Because if said individual should meet an untimely death...how would one feel if one ended the last conversation on a less than savory note...Get what I'm putting down?

All too often we let our pain/hurt/anger mask our true feelings toward others...and that can be bad.

That's all I'm gonna say.

 

[shirlene29]

but its not for me to put away...
I already let go of my bad blood with him years ago...its between them and hes so disoriented hes not recognizing people or putting together coherent sentences
shes angry at him and that I know shes not mature enough to realize she even wants to put it aside
she loves her Dad and thats about all I can hope for shining through

 

[simply dave]

but its not for me to put away...
I already let go of my bad blood with him years ago...its between them and hes so disoriented hes not recognizing people or putting together coherent sentences
shes angry at him and that I know shes not mature enough to realize she even wants to put it aside
she loves her Dad and thats about all I can hope for shining through

I understand. For years I went through therapy hating my parents for placing me in a violent environment. I wrote what I did because I picked up what you were putting down. She doesn't know this, but there will come a time (as it came to me) where she will need to come to terms with her love and pain toward her father. Now is not the time, but should he pass away...she'll NEVER have another opportunity to look him in the eyes and tell him how she feels...It will be gone. Don't deny her that, but let her know why.

 

[shirlene29]

I hear ya

 

[nimbus]

you really can't fly down, visit her dad with her, and bring her back?

that's like taking 1 day off work

 

[ceo]

tough one. I would think it best to go down there to be with her and her dad. If for whatever reason(s) that is impossible for you, then it's tough to call. Either way she needs to be made aware of the situation and the possible outcomes. From there I would let her make the decision. She may request that you come down to be with her too.

 

[Cutiebolic]

tough one. I would think it best to go down there to be with her and her dad. If for whatever reason(s) that is impossible for you, then it's tough to call. Either way she needs to be made aware of the situation and the possible outcomes. From there I would let her make the decision. She may request that you come down to be with her too.

She probably won't request it but it's probably what she needs... How else can she start to cope with some of this stuff? I know you wanna distance yourself, Shirls, but this totally involves you.

 

[smurf2]

you really can't fly down, visit her dad with her, and bring her back?

that's like taking 1 day off work

Agreed