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I'm not sure what to do

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stilleto

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i've been at my new job for slightly under 2 months and for the most part, i love it. i like the people I work with and I like what I do. I like the people that are under me and i've gotten a lot of compliments.

the problem is the owner/ceo.

first of all, he's 6'5, probably 250lbs, and 40 years old. he talks down to EVERYONE, cuts me off when i'm talking, and often walks away in the middle of a conversation and says, "i'm done with this conversation" when i'm trying to get clarification or discuss our marketing plans.

that's not the problem though. the problem is:
a. he curses constantly. he says "fuck" in every conversation, a few times. It doesn't offend me, obviously, but it's NOT appropriate for business. and certainly not when it's him talking down to me and telling me "this isn't what I fucking wanted."

b. monday I was in a conference call with the sales team. the CEO was demonstrating a sales call and gave out his fake email address during a fake phone call as "mrs smith@ I've got big breasts dot com."

He was sitting across from me when he said it.

c. during the meeting, he his laptop got a virus. he turned to our security expert in the room and said, "my computer has a trojan.... I guess I had cybersex and forgot to wear a rubber."



there are other instances that happen, but I can't remember. little things, but not appropriate. Should I just write them down with dates for future reference/use?
 
stilleto said:
i've been at my new job for slightly under 2 months and for the most part, i love it. i like the people I work with and I like what I do. I like the people that are under me and i've gotten a lot of compliments.

the problem is the owner/ceo.

first of all, he's 6'5, probably 250lbs, and 40 years old. he talks down to EVERYONE, cuts me off when i'm talking, and often walks away in the middle of a conversation and says, "i'm done with this conversation" when i'm trying to get clarification or discuss our marketing plans.

that's not the problem though. the problem is:
a. he curses constantly. he says "fuck" in every conversation, a few times. It doesn't offend me, obviously, but it's NOT appropriate for business. and certainly not when it's him talking down to me and telling me "this isn't what I fucking wanted."

b. monday I was in a conference call with the sales team. the CEO was demonstrating a sales call and gave out his fake email address during a fake phone call as "mrs smith@ I've got big breasts dot com."

He was sitting across from me when he said it.

c. during the meeting, he his laptop got a virus. he turned to our security expert in the room and said, "my computer has a trojan.... I guess I had cybersex and forgot to wear a rubber."



there are other instances that happen, but I can't remember. little things, but not appropriate. Should I just write them down with dates for future reference/use?
Click to expand...


Yes. An asshole like that will end up doing something that probably pits you against him in the future.

Documentation > Lack Thereof.
 
write them down? I probably wouldnt. But if i didnt like where it was going at this place, Id start making moves. Or, Id learn to deal with it I guess. Knowing me, Id start thinking it was funny and become just as innapropriate as he was, if not worse. Like ask him in a meeting with others when was the last time he jacked off.
 
thanks.

yesterday he was particularly condescending and it triggered something in me I guess. I went outside to get some fresh air and relax. the production manager came out to have a smoke and I couldn't even talk to him because I was afraid my voice would crack. like, he talked and I didn't say a word, then i just turned and went inside. I apologized to him today, but he said he knew perfectly well what was up with me.

Today he gave me a free wireless router. lol.
 
you should have sex with him. definitely let him give it to you anal style too.


there it is, glad i could help. karma points in return is good enough.
 
Smurfy said:
write them down? I probably wouldnt. But if i didnt like where it was going at this place, Id start making moves. Or, Id learn to deal with it I guess. Knowing me, Id start thinking it was funny and become just as innapropriate as he was, if not worse. Like ask him in a meeting with others when was the last time he jacked off.
Click to expand...

i MIGHT do that too, but

he only thinks he's funny. nobody else is funny to him.

and everyone thinks he's an ass... i don't want to be thought of the same way, since I manage others.

today I said, "dude!" during a conversation where he thought he was being funny and he was fucking obnoxious to me back.
 
KG1977 said:
Workplaces always have ONE drawback
How much is it affecting your mood at home? Are you stressed?
Click to expand...

my mood at home is good, because i have good support and a family that just wants me to be happy.
but yeah, i've been a little stressed. It's hard starting a new job, but harder when the owner of the company is a dick.

my boss, btw, is the president and he's awesome, but he's in Ohio and I'm not.
 
stilleto said:
my mood at home is good, because i have good support and a family that just wants me to be happy.
but yeah, i've been a little stressed. It's hard starting a new job, but harder when the owner of the company is a dick.

my boss, btw, is the president and he's awesome, but he's in Ohio and I'm not.
Click to expand...


Hopefully you don't have to deal with the owner often.
Is he a control freak? Always there?
 
btw, i wouldn't have sex with him if I was single, and dirt poor and he was single and shot 100 dollar bills. it's not that he's not good looking, it's that he's THAT much of a jerk.
 
KG1977 said:
Hopefully you don't have to deal with the owner often.
Is he a control freak? Always there?
Click to expand...

yes, control freak, always there.

he wants to see EVERYTHING anyone does before it goes out, me included. but, he keeps his door closed at all times and makes you knock. when you go in, if he's on the phone (he uses bluetooth, so it's hard to tell), he waves you away furiously. if he's not on the phone, he looks, sounds, and acts annoyed at whatever you show him.

so i'm always afraid to go in. always. everyone is.
 
gotmilk said:
ahhhh haaa...you're missing the nerds and the fat bastard who stole your food.
Click to expand...

okay, i am.
and I admit that I had dinner with one nerd and the fat bastard on monday night. it was NICE.

but I make so much more money now, and this is so much better experience. plus, it's like gold on my resume.

i will also admit that i started crying on my way home today because I was feeling so frustrated and because I'm a wuss.

also, cause fistfullofsteel is so ugly.
 
If I were you, I would suck it up for a little while.
In the meantime, put him in his place.
Don't be afraid of him, obviously he is a classles jerk.
Have a big smile on your face and look at him straight in the eye. Show him that he doesn't intimidate you.
When he walks away, ask him if you need to make an appointment. You need his undivided attention.
Remember he is testing you too. Wants to see how far you can take it.

stilleto said:
i've been at my new job for slightly under 2 months and for the most part, i love it. i like the people I work with and I like what I do. I like the people that are under me and i've gotten a lot of compliments.

the problem is the owner/ceo.

first of all, he's 6'5, probably 250lbs, and 40 years old. he talks down to EVERYONE, cuts me off when i'm talking, and often walks away in the middle of a conversation and says, "i'm done with this conversation" when i'm trying to get clarification or discuss our marketing plans.

that's not the problem though. the problem is:
a. he curses constantly. he says "fuck" in every conversation, a few times. It doesn't offend me, obviously, but it's NOT appropriate for business. and certainly not when it's him talking down to me and telling me "this isn't what I fucking wanted."

b. monday I was in a conference call with the sales team. the CEO was demonstrating a sales call and gave out his fake email address during a fake phone call as "mrs smith@ I've got big breasts dot com."

He was sitting across from me when he said it.

c. during the meeting, he his laptop got a virus. he turned to our security expert in the room and said, "my computer has a trojan.... I guess I had cybersex and forgot to wear a rubber."



there are other instances that happen, but I can't remember. little things, but not appropriate. Should I just write them down with dates for future reference/use?
Click to expand...
 
princesa said:
If I were you, I would suck it up for a little while.
In the meantime, put him in his place.
Don't be afraid of him, obviously he is a classles jerk.
Click to expand...
Considering he's CEO his place is more or less wherever he wants it to be. That advice would get her fired.
 
Dial_tone said:
Considering he's CEO his place is more or less wherever he wants it to be. That advice would get her fired.
Click to expand...

Hellz Yeah!!! Bitches don't be messin with us! :D
 
princesa said:
If I were you, I would suck it up for a little while.
In the meantime, put him in his place.
Don't be afraid of him, obviously he is a classles jerk.
Have a big smile on your face and look at him straight in the eye. Show him that he doesn't intimidate you.
When he walks away, ask him if you need to make an appointment. You need his undivided attention.
Remember he is testing you too. Wants to see how far you can take it.
Click to expand...

as Dial Tone said, he's the OWNER/CEO with a huge ego.
putting him in his place is the LAST thing I should do.

there is also no time for his attention. he doesn't want to give it. and frankly, the less I have to talk to him, the better.
 
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All that would drive me nuts Stilleto! I know someone who went through some similar crap and they would say Document EVERYTHING! Keep a journal with the dates, times, crude, sexist comments keep it in hard copy not just electronically. Just to CYA for future purposes.

Crazy guy!
 
Dial_tone said:
Considering he's CEO his place is more or less wherever he wants it to be. That advice would get her fired.
Click to expand...


So are you suggesting that she should get down on her knees :confused:


C'mon he is testing the waters.
I've encountered the same situation in the past, quiet a few times actually. I sure as hell wasn't fired, I was respected.
 
stilleto said:
i think i'd feel better if ceo just gave me all his k.
Click to expand...

Only if you only hold on to it for one year max , then give it all back with 5% (compound) interest. :)
 
stilleto said:
as Dial Tone said, he's the OWNER/CEO with a huge ego.
putting him in his place is the LAST thing I should do.

I didn't say embarrass him in front of everyone. If you feel that he is being inapropriate, you could address the issue in private.

there is also no time for his attention. he doesn't want to give it. and frankly, the less I have to talk to him, the better.
Click to expand...

I guess you could avoid him as much as you can.


Good luck!
 
Tell him to read the following book and let him know his skills are not in line with productive ceo's..

Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don't is a management book by James C. Collins that aims to describe how companies transition from being average companies to great companies and how companies can fail to make the transition. "Greatness" is defined as financial performance several multiples better than the market average over a sustained period of time. Collins finds the main factor for achieving the transition to be a narrow focusing of the company’s resources on their field of competence.
 
drsketch said:
Tell him to read the following book and let him know his skills are not in line with productive ceo's..

Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don't is a management book by James C. Collins that aims to describe how companies transition from being average companies to great companies and how companies can fail to make the transition. "Greatness" is defined as financial performance several multiples better than the market average over a sustained period of time. Collins finds the main factor for achieving the transition to be a narrow focusing of the company’s resources on their field of competence.
Click to expand...

hmmm. maybe it's a good christmas gift.
thanks.


princessa, i would not get on my knees (figuratively or literally), but i have decided that if he says anything that I don't like, i'm going to say "that makes me uncomfortable" or "P, that's not appropriate."


OH, the other day he and I, and the President were on a conference call. we were looking at a spreadsheet and i said, "hide that column."
the president said, "P, just let Stilleto do it."
and the CEO said, "that's okay, i'm used to taking orders from Jewish women."

except, i'm not jewish.

that alone is not a big deal at all- i think he IS jewish or maybe just his wife is, so i don't think it's an insult, but i'm watching out for it so much I felt like telling him that my religious preference is not a factor in my work. then i realized that would sound hyper sensitive so i didn't say anything.
 
Talking down bad..... TOTALLY agree
You taking those jokes the wrong way... ehhh, you would make me feel uncomfortable to work with honestly.
All that stuff he said is harmless, who gives a shit?
 
lartinos said:
Talking down bad..... TOTALLY agree
You taking those jokes the wrong way... ehhh, you would make me feel uncomfortable to work with honestly.
All that stuff he said is harmless, who gives a shit?
Click to expand...

it is harmless, yes.
i talk way worse with my friends.

but if you add to it, his totally condescending attitude, it makes the inappropriate comments magnified.

but you're right... they are harmless, and i should not be bothered by that, only be the condescending attitude and dismissiveness. it's hard to get work done effectively if i can't talk to my boss.
 
stilleto said:
i've been at my new job for slightly under 2 months and for the most part, i love it. i like the people I work with and I like what I do. I like the people that are under me and i've gotten a lot of compliments.

the problem is the owner/ceo.

first of all, he's 6'5, probably 250lbs, and 40 years old. he talks down to EVERYONE, cuts me off when i'm talking, and often walks away in the middle of a conversation and says, "i'm done with this conversation" when i'm trying to get clarification or discuss our marketing plans.

that's not the problem though. the problem is:
a. he curses constantly. he says "fuck" in every conversation, a few times. It doesn't offend me, obviously, but it's NOT appropriate for business. and certainly not when it's him talking down to me and telling me "this isn't what I fucking wanted."

b. monday I was in a conference call with the sales team. the CEO was demonstrating a sales call and gave out his fake email address during a fake phone call as "mrs smith@ I've got big breasts dot com."

He was sitting across from me when he said it.

c. during the meeting, he his laptop got a virus. he turned to our security expert in the room and said, "my computer has a trojan.... I guess I had cybersex and forgot to wear a rubber."



there are other instances that happen, but I can't remember. little things, but not appropriate. Should I just write them down with dates for future reference/use?
Click to expand...

bench press him
 
stilleto said:
it is harmless, yes.
i talk way worse with my friends.

but if you add to it, his totally condescending attitude, it makes the inappropriate comments magnified.

but you're right... they are harmless, and i should not be bothered by that, only be the condescending attitude and dismissiveness. it's hard to get work done effectively if i can't talk to my boss.
Click to expand...

I see your point... People actually think I'm funny and likable so I get away with saying off-color comments at work, even to my boss. Depends who's saying it for sure. If it's effecting your work he should be smart enough to see that. Some people are just overly sensitive, usually people who are emotionally incompetent and shouldn't be working for your company. So I take back what I said, I see now why you feel this way.
 
lartinos said:
I see your point... People actually think I'm funny and likable so I get away with saying off-color comments at work, even to my boss. Depends who's saying it for sure. If it's effecting your work he should be smart enough to see that. Some people are just overly sensitive, usually people who are emotionally incompetent and shouldn't be working for your company. So I take back what I said, I see now why you feel this way.
Click to expand...

thanks.
i know for sure i'm not overly sensitive.
it's really not his off color comments that are bothering me at all. if they came from anyone else, i'd laugh.
 
oh, and I got a k message asking if the other employees find him innapropriate.

the president recently said to him, "you're an HR person's nightmare".

the HR woman said she does whatever she can to keep him out of her meetings with employees because he always says the exact wrong thing.

the new sales guy told me that during his interview, the CEO said that he's had sales women with voices that could make a guy whip out his dick and cum on his keyboard.

the other sales woman, who is philipino... he calls her "the Hawaiian"
 
stilleto said:
the new sales guy told me that during his interview, the CEO said that he's had sales women with voices that could make a guy whip out his dick and cum on his keyboard.

the other sales woman, who is philipino... he calls her "the Hawaiian"
Click to expand...

lol, sounds like a law suit waiting to happen.
 
stilleto said:
i've been at my new job for slightly under 2 months and for the most part, i love it. i like the people I work with and I like what I do. I like the people that are under me and i've gotten a lot of compliments.

the problem is the owner/ceo.

first of all, he's 6'5, probably 250lbs, and 40 years old. he talks down to EVERYONE, cuts me off when i'm talking, and often walks away in the middle of a conversation and says, "i'm done with this conversation" when i'm trying to get clarification or discuss our marketing plans.

that's not the problem though. the problem is:
a. he curses constantly. he says "fuck" in every conversation, a few times. It doesn't offend me, obviously, but it's NOT appropriate for business. and certainly not when it's him talking down to me and telling me "this isn't what I fucking wanted."

b. monday I was in a conference call with the sales team. the CEO was demonstrating a sales call and gave out his fake email address during a fake phone call as "mrs smith@ I've got big breasts dot com."

He was sitting across from me when he said it.

c. during the meeting, he his laptop got a virus. he turned to our security expert in the room and said, "my computer has a trojan.... I guess I had cybersex and forgot to wear a rubber."



there are other instances that happen, but I can't remember. little things, but not appropriate. Should I just write them down with dates for future reference/use?
Click to expand...

WOAH missy! Let me give you a big old chunk of advice here. When it comes to bumping heads with someone above you, choose your battles WISELY. Especially if there is nowhere to go above him. Even if there were, if you complain about your higher ups, you are often the one who get reassigned. I know you just from here, but I know that you are no shrinking violet. The guy is a dick, but now you know his weak spots. If you truly feel like you are in a hostile work environment, get out of the company. Nice girls don't get a corner office.
 
stilleto said:
the new sales guy told me that during his interview, the CEO said that he's had sales women with voices that could make a guy whip out his dick and cum on his keyboard.

the other sales woman, who is philipino... he calls her "the Hawaiian"
Click to expand...

All of that info just makes me ill. Sounds like he should just start posting here on in C&C so he could have an outlet. But the CEO of a company? Wow.
 
heatherrae said:
WOAH missy! Let me give you a big old chunk of advice here. When it comes to bumping heads with someone above you, choose your battles WISELY.
Click to expand...

I agree with this. He might be the biggest dick in the world, but when you're the CEO/owner, you can get away with a lot of stuff other people can't.

My recommendation is to be 100% professional around him at all times. Don't joke with him, don't shoot the shit with him, etc... Keep everything business related.
 
Man - I did not have to read all 6 pages to get to a conclusion here. Get the fuck out of there. Quit - it will never get better. Assholes just become bigger assholes.

Walk away and never look back.
 
heatherrae said:
WOAH missy! Let me give you a big old chunk of advice here. When it comes to bumping heads with someone above you, choose your battles WISELY. Especially if there is nowhere to go above him. Even if there were, if you complain about your higher ups, you are often the one who get reassigned. I know you just from here, but I know that you are no shrinking violet. The guy is a dick, but now you know his weak spots. If you truly feel like you are in a hostile work environment, get out of the company. Nice girls don't get a corner office.
Click to expand...

^^^Best advise yet!!^^^
 
princesa said:
If I were you, I would suck it up for a little while.
In the meantime, put him in his place.
Don't be afraid of him, obviously he is a classles jerk.
Have a big smile on your face and look at him straight in the eye. Show him that he doesn't intimidate you.
When he walks away, ask him if you need to make an appointment. You need his undivided attention.
Remember he is testing you too. Wants to see how far you can take it.
Click to expand...

I am going against the grain here and agreeing with Pricesa on this one. He is going to walk all over you until you tell him to bite it. He will either respect you for standing up to him or fire you - in the second case, you did not want to stay there anyway.
 
billfred said:
I am going against the grain here and agreeing with Pricesa on this one. He is going to walk all over you until you tell him to bite it. He will either respect you for standing up to him or fire you - in the second case, you did not want to stay there anyway.
Click to expand...

Second best. You beat me to it!!
 
update:

I THINK either the head of HR spoke to him, OR his CFO did, or he just realized he's been innapropriate a LOT lately. Today he's been nice and cordial and normal. i doubt it will stay that way, but we'll see.
 
stilleto said:
update:

I THINK either the head of HR spoke to him, OR his CFO did, or he just realized he's been innapropriate a LOT lately. Today he's been nice and cordial and normal. i doubt it will stay that way, but we'll see.
Click to expand...

Wow, don't look the gift horse in the mouth and enjoy while it lasts I guess.

Between that and a non-heart breaking firing are you having a better day?
 
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