I'm going to open my own gym

[ace6921]

I guess I am going to have to open my own gym. I won't get many customers but I'll need to have these rules. I just can't take it anymore at the mainstream outfits.

Gym Rules:

1) Anyone with I.L.S. (imaginary lat syndrome) will not be allowed. This includes the people with the shirts ripped down the sides.

2) Unless you can curl more than I can squat than quit curling on the squat rack while people are waiting to squat. We have dedicated equipment for curling.

3) If you think you are bad ass and grunt and drop the weights after EVERY SINGLE excercise you will be removed from the gym.

4) Fat people will not be allowed to wear size small dri-fit shirts.

5) ANYONE that pours water from their water bottle on the coals in the sauna will be beaten.

6) ANYONE that is creepy enough to turn the light off while they sit in the sauna will be removed.

7) If you think you can "save" your machine by laying your towel on it while you socialize with someone near by you are very confused.

8) And I really don't know what to say about the skinny guys that wear lifting gloves. What the fuck ever. Get some callouses and some wrist straps.

9) If you don't put your plates back you will be beaten in plain view of the rest of the members. Neither myself or the other members are your Mommy. Maybe you don't have to clean up where you live in Mommy's basement but you do in my gym.

OK, that's it, and sorry I'm just having an angry moment.

Anyone got anything to add?

 

[ortiz34]

3) If you think you are bad ass and grunt and drop the weights after EVERY SINGLE excercise you will be removed from the gym.

Grunting a little is okay, really loud is another story. However dropping the weights, (esp. like the lat pull down machine weights) really make me wanna go over and smash them. It just makes them SO much tougher











9) If you don't put your plates back you will be beaten in plain view of the rest of the members. Neither myself or the other members are your Mommy. Maybe you don't have to clean up where you live in Mommy's basement but you do in my gym.


LMFAO!

 

[redguru]

MOP UP YOUR SWEAT, Our primary reason for using this equipment is not to catch a staph infection no matter what you may believe.

Hey, You guys, yes you with the bandanna

enough with the standing around the flat bench for hours two repping a pair of quarters with a spotter and then high fiving each other like you just set an olympic record.

Dude, if you're going to do yoga on the stretching mats, either wear tighter fitting shorts or some underwear, please

 

[KIAN]

• 10 - People who use the pec dec will be beaten.
• 11 - People who get into the pec dec backwards will be forcibly ejected.
• 12 - People who think they are Fred Flintstone and role a weighted bar half way across the gym will be yabba dabby dooed out the front door.

______________________________

KP -- Fitness Basics

 

[AEKDB]

MOP UP YOUR SWEAT, Our primary reason for using this equipment is not to catch a staph infection no matter what you may believe.

Interesting. When I have time, maybe tonight, I will try and do some research on infections from the gym. I would think that the infection risk is no greater than riding on public transit.

 

[cwc73]

• 11 - People who get into the pec dec backwards will be forcibly ejected.

What's up with this one? We have a machine that adjusts so that you can hit your rear delts. It's a combo peckdeck/reardelt machine. You dogging on that one?

 

[NorgePrecision]

• 11 - People who get into the pec dec backwards will be forcibly ejected.
  

______________________________

KP -- Fitness Basics

I have some rear delts that will attest to that comment.

 

[KIAN]

We have a machine that adjusts so that you can hit your rear delts. It's a combo peckdeck/reardelt machine.

Key word there being adjusts.
Every seen someone use a pec deck for their rear delts which didn't adjust.
It's like watching a turtle on its back trying to right itself.

PS: I ain't doggin' you homey, word!
*worst ghetto talk evah

________________________

KP -- Fitness Basics

 

[dutchman063]

Gym Rules:

3) If you think you are bad ass and grunt and drop the weights after EVERY SINGLE excercise you will be removed from the gym.

I just got back from the gym today and experienced this exact Neaderthal A-hole doing this exact thing EVERY FREAKIN SET!!! annoying as F*CK!!!

4) Fat people will not be allowed to wear size small dri-fit shirts.

OR stand butt naked in the lockerrom in front of the mirror and shave or brush your teeth! cover you saggy ass!! or do that shit BEFORE you come to the gym...


nice list by the way.. i agree with most of it

 

[scorpi141]

"8) And I really don't know what to say about the skinny guys that wear lifting gloves. What the fuck ever. Get some callouses and some wrist straps. "

Thats just messed up, since when skinny guys can't wear lifting gloves?