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I was "defriended" after 21 years - email included

Rachel...lol

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Okay - so here is the email I received:

ok i have made a choice. after i asked you twice about what you wrote on sara's page you had nothing to say to me. but u ask me about the girls... kinda fucked up. i am tired of always trying to figure out what i did wrong that you aren't atlking to me or want to hang out. you say u are busy but u always have time for everyone else. but that's ok. as long as ur happy. i do appreciate everything you have done for me and blake but i don't wanna do this anymore. i put so much into trying to figure out why u don't talk to me and its not fair. and it bothers the hell out of me that what i told you in confidence you went and told mike. that isn't what a real friend does, especially one who says i will always be there for you. all the time i put thinking of and trying to figure it all out i can use for other things in my life. i am sorry if that hurts you or if you say im being a drama queen but im not. i have thought a lot about this. i am sorry that after 21
yrs i am ending our friendship and im sorry. just not something i want to do anymore. i hope ur birthday and everything else goes well for you. i wish nothing but the best for you
Love, Joanna


And here is my response. I am not a very nice person am I.

You ARE being a drama queen - and I did intend on writing you back, and yes I did forget. Here is the thing: I have no idea why you get upset and weird about random things that you shouldn't be bothered about. Facebook comments are facebook comments, one thing that I have learned, and a lot of it comes from experience in the business world, is that you cannot glean a person's tone or intentions from reading emails, texts, or other messages as such, and making assumptions or interpretations about a person's intentions from messages is not a smart thing to do. There is a big difference between asking me to explain a facebook comment, and me wanting to know about the health of your sister's baby. All things cannot be created equal.

Go to http://.safetextlife.com - the message of this site isReal Friends Practice Safe Text!

Safe what?

Safe texting! That means reading and sending text messages at appropriate times and being socially responsible so we don't hurt friendships. This website is devoted to helping raise awareness of Textual Safety practices, in the hopes that everyone can enjoy a safe and fun Text Life.

I did some consulting work for this website and some of her marketing, so this isn't just a random website I pulled up. I believe in the message.

Other resources talking about making the mistake of misinterpreting email communications:



Misinterpreting email
What Can be Misunderstood Will be Misunderstood - About Email

You do not act mature, the way you present yourself online is that of a small child. Stop talking about frogs and unicorns and shit - how old are you? None of your time is spent doing anything productive. You need to grow up, you need to stop obsessing about trivial things. There are more important things in life than constantly crying out on facebook about who is your friend this day and who is your friend that day, and emailing me messages like this.

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things." DO THIS

Focus on bettering yourself and improving your life for yourself and for blake. Stop drawing other people into your personal relationship with Mike. Stop lying about things.

I've copied both your parents on this email; this way, when they want to know why I'm not around - they'll be able to see that it was your fault and not mine. As far as I'm concerned I'm still a part of the family - if you don't want to be my "sister" so to speak anymore, fine. But it doesn't mean I won't care about everybody else.
 
If my friend told me I was a drama queen, I wouldnt be friends with her anymore. You can do lots of things to convey tone in text and email and people need to learn how to do that so they dont lose friends. You are quoting the bible to her, do you realize that? Is this your real sister?
 
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she and I have been over this over and over again. She's really emotionally needy and has some serious problems. It's not like this is out of the blue...
It's hard to explain everything - but she's a total whackjob. Everybody knows it, her parents, my parents...
 
If my friend told me I was a drama queen, I wouldnt be friends with her anymore. You can do lots of things to convey tone in text and email and people need to learn how to do that so they dont lose friends. You are quoting the bible to her, do you realize that? Is this your real sister?

Yes, I know this - if you'll notice included in the email response was commentary about how she overreacts about emails and facebook communication, and that you can't rely on the tone or think you understand what they mean. So - yes I do know this, and she's the one that sent me the kiss off email... I was replying to her.

And she is the one that first said... "I know you think I'm being a drama queen"... and I said, well yes you are. When I say drama queen... she is a sever ehypochondriac and will put herself in the hospital for weeks at a time, doesn't admit she's a hypochondriac... She's been married twice already, she doesn't work, she is always crying out for attention, which ... after so many "wolf cries" ... it's deadening, nothing I have ever tried to do has helped her in any manner. She wanted me to sign for custody of her son last year - just give him to me. I've helped her get inpatient and outpatient psychotherapy help.


No, we are not sisters - rather "friends" since 1st grade or so, and in the past 10 yrs I have viewed the relationship more like family, as in - helping her and doing things for her and being there not because I like her or we have anything in common, but because it's like we're family.
 
It takes effort and time to maintain relationships.. people come and go in your life, take what you like from each experience..

only family are there for you and they'll screw u over everytime..

CC her parents?? dude, move on, life is too short..
 
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