I want some serious help

[Robert Jan]

I think a friend of mine is anorexic.
shes got all the symptoms. she halfway dozes off at times, is extremely thin, has a skewed self body image (she told a girl who is heavier than her she wishes she was slim like her), some low self esteem... pale too. the weightscale is the first thing you see when you walk into her house. She recently bought these pants that are cool but rather wide... like they say anorexics try to hide their weightloss...

Shes a very good friend of mine. I really care. What do i do?

A mutual friend was worried and went to see her today and she would not talk in company of her mother and would not take the elevator but took the stairs instead... This girl now told the school year councellor about her worries and theyll try to do something...

She is an extremely intelligent and hardworking girl and gets like the highest grades in the school.

I dont want people to know I know and worry about this, i think too much confrontation will make it worse
I`m worried if i say anything about worries she would stop listening to me entirely.

 

[gettinlarger]

That sucks broly. I'm sorry to hear it. My ex gf was anorexic. All the symptoms you listed were there. Get her to go to some kind of counselor. I tried talking ... ending up being bitched at for 'lecturing.' It was fucked up.

 

[Robert Jan]

I`m not going to "lecture" I can see thats not gonna work.

I think low self esteem is at the root of anorexia... she should know people care about her and she is cool

 

[circusgirl]

Hmmm this is a difficult one.

It is very, very difficult to persuade an anorexic to seek help. It may seem to be because they fear gaining weight but it's subconsciously because they don't feel they deserve help and should be left to die, I think.

There are lots of reasons why people get anorexic, an emphasis on slimness in the environment (trainers, actors etc suffer a lot), plus low self-esteem, I'm talking crushingly low self esteem, self-hatred that would keep you awake at night, constant tears for being what one sees as a piece o'shit etc. Not feeling just a bit down.

Unfortunately the whole thing has progressed to quite a degree if the lack of eating is now that visible. It starts with the whole self esteem thing, then losing weight leads to people admiring, saying nice things, then they get fixated on weight as the only thing that matters. It takes quite a while usually for someone to get to the point of eating very very little, and getting extremely skinny, although there are exceptions. It isn't really about weight loss, it's about getting your worth as a person confused with your weight, and feeling that your personal worth is zero, hence, the need to constantly get skinnier.

Ultimately, you can't force her into therapy and it could take years before she decides she needs, deserves and could benefit from help.

Things you can do - don't bother asking her if she has an eating disorder, as the answer will be "no". Ask her if she is ok, say she looks depressed and does she want to see a coulsellor. Don't say anything about weight or looks - actually don't comment on her looks positively or negatively for any reason, on her clothing etc. I spent some time lurking over at the thin board and these girls took ANY comment on looks to mean "youre fat". Don't force her to eat, don't pressure her about what she eats. BTW, many anorexics hate eating when there is anyone else around, so may want to have their meals alone.

Lastly, if it becomes too much for you, it's ok to draw back a bit. No point in both of you ending up in the shit.

 

[argent]

Definately go have her talk to someone. My cousin had AN and she is still struggling with it. The turning point is when she fell down and shattered her hip like a 90 year-old woman. She had to talk to a counselor and it seemed to help. But its a tough situation though. I don't think she would've talked to the counselor if she wasn't in a body cast in a hospital bed with nowhere to go. Good luck bro.

 

[Robert Jan]

circusgirl you think it bad to give compliments on clothing? I had figured that would be good for self esteem, and she is actually stylish

 

[Robert Jan]

www.something-fishy.org

CG it seems your opinion is a popular one amongst ex patients. you must be right

 

[HULKSTER]

Hey, I know the feeling.....when I first started using AAS, I was so obsessed with obtaining low bf that I started abusing Xenical. It's a step below sticking your finger down your throat.

 

[bunnymt]

Anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and eating disorders in general are very serious diseases.

Be there for your friend. Let her know that you are there for her.

Her fate is not in your hands, however.

Is she over 18?

 

[Robert Jan]

shes 18.

now on the same day i found out about this i got a call that my grandma is in the intensive care with a stable kidney function of 0 and she is not expected to last long or get out of there. shes on morfine.

Ive hardly been able to sleep this night and i have a chemistry test in a few hours.

 

[Zander1983]

shes 18.

now on the same day i found out about this i got a call that my grandma is in the intensive care with a stable kidney function of 0 and she is not expected to last long or get out of there. shes on morfine.

Ive hardly been able to sleep this night and i have a chemistry test in a few hours.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Make sure your girl knows how important she is to you and how you feel about her, every single day.

 

[Zander1983]

Make sure your girl knows how important she is to you and how you feel about her, every single day.

Ok, misread the original post. Even if she isn't your girlfriend, make sure you tell her how special she is...

 

[RADAR]

man she needs to stop that.its serious stuff- stomach bile will eventually destroy her throat!