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I ate a pound of almonds and now my stomach feels icky 
I Think I'm Dying
- Thread starter puddlemonkey
- Start date
wtf was that? Not making my tummy ache go away. This shit hurts, what are in almonds that would do this?
lolol sorry I don't know what that was I found it looking at one of yarg's videos.
eat some tums bro.
eat some tums bro.
patsfan1379
New member
PuddleMonkey said:
OMG LOL I cant wait until you shit.
why? is it gonna hurt when I poop or sometrhing? omg this is painful
patsfan1379
New member
PuddleMonkey said:
dude almonds are like one of the most calorie dense foods on the planet... let me do some quick math here...
170 cals in one ounce.
16 ounces in a pound.
yup.
You just killed 2720 calories.
Good luck with all that.
patsfan1379 said:
LOLOL pooor puddle.
patsfan1379 said:
it hurts so bad I'm sweating. Its not a full, I ate too much stomach ache, it feels like my stomach is trying to digest my testicles.
insert finger... throat..
go!
go!
patsfan1379
New member
OMG this is great.
Hope you didnt have any plans tonight.
Hope you didnt have any plans tonight.
fistfullofsteel
Well-known member
please give me all your karma before you die, thanks in advance
patsfan1379
New member
Lololololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
patsfan1379 said:
I did, but I don;t know if I'm going to make it through the nigth. I ate a banana to see if that would help but I think it made it worse.
patsfan1379
New member
PuddleMonkey said:
You are going to take the biggest dump you've ever had. Take a pic.
feisty11975
New member
PuddleMonkey said:
STEP AWAY FROM THE FOOD
PuddleMonkey said:
you just ate 2800 calories stop eating for the love of god!
this is like that family guys episode where peter ate a years worth of dehydrated food, then he drank water, lololol.
"Best Before Dec/28/06"
Would this have any effect on them? They aren't very past date, 5 months, and I never opened them until today.
Would this have any effect on them? They aren't very past date, 5 months, and I never opened them until today.
I actually googled this problem for you because I'm bored.. and it said that if you ate a lb of almonds at it made you feel really sick, that you should eat like another LB and that should make you feel better, according to the medical experts that is.
jackangel said:
But now where are you going to live?
FriendlyCanadian said:
This sucks colossal amounts of ass. I tried googling answers but couldn't find any. This sucks more than when I ate 7 bananas for 1 meal because they were goinh bad and I couldn;t poop for three and a half days.
H
heatherrae
Guest
Just take some TUMS, sweetie. It is gas, most likely.
You may have diarrhea tomorrow. Get some immodium AD or eat a green banana if you get diarrhea.
You may have diarrhea tomorrow. Get some immodium AD or eat a green banana if you get diarrhea.
heatherrae said:
why a green banana?
I'm never eating another almond the rest of my life.
I said that about bananas a couople years ago though
PuddleMonkey said:
Holy god I don't think I've ever laughed so hard.. (on the internet)
actually in your current condition eating seven bananas might not be a bad idea it could ward off a horrible day tomorrow! lololol.
Turd Ferguson
New member
did you eat any pot brownies?
Turd Ferguson said:
I love brownies!
I'll probably have some in my boxers when I wake up tomorrow morning
FriendlyCanadian said:
It was horrible!!! On the third day I had to poop SOOOO bad but couldn't get anything to come out, I missed work that day because of it.
H
heatherrae
Guest
Green bananas cure diarrhea like you wouldn't believe. If you eat them when you are not having diarrhea, you will get constipated.PuddleMonkey said:why a green banana?
I'm never eating another almond the rest of my life.
I said that about bananas a couople years ago though
samoth said:Dude, you eat like a true powerlifter. Keep up the good work!
Yours in sport,
Its only been an hour and a half and my stomach is growling. If those damn almonds pack so many calories why is my stomach growling? I don't feel hungry, which is odd. I have 4 more hours of work and I'm down to 1 protein bar left in my food bag
PuddleMonkey said:Its only been an hour and a half and my stomach is growling. If those damn almonds pack so many calories why is my stomach growling? I don't feel hungry, which is odd. I have 4 more hours of work and I'm down to 1 protein bar left in my food bag
Eat more and max out on CSGM's when you get home.
H
heatherrae
Guest
In a DE-Lux apartment in sky-ay.jackangel said:
Nearly 3 hours later and I'm feeling much better. Time for more food 
PuddleMonkey said:Nearly 3 hours later and I'm feeling much better. Time for more food
I dare you to eat another lb of almonds.
FriendlyCanadian said:
I will never touch another almond the rest of my life! That sucked!
PuddleMonkey said:
at least don't eat the ones five months expired
hehehe.
ghettostudmuffin
New member
Ya, nuts are extremely calorie dense.
But, that's not what's doing it. Nuts can cause your stomach to cramp up and have a laxative type effect if you injest alot of them.
OMFG you are gonna blow up your toilet. I'm talking on the seat, all over the sides of your ass.
Get a towel ready cuz you're gonna have to take shower after that mess.
But, that's not what's doing it. Nuts can cause your stomach to cramp up and have a laxative type effect if you injest alot of them.
OMFG you are gonna blow up your toilet. I'm talking on the seat, all over the sides of your ass.
Get a towel ready cuz you're gonna have to take shower after that mess.
FriendlyCanadian said:at least don't eat the ones five months expired
hehehe.
I knew they had been sitting awhile but I didn't think they'd gone past the expiration date. I guess I should have looked first. I only bought them like a year ago, wtf?
I checked my fridge, found some Margarine I don't even recall buying (cause I don't eat it) that expired 11/14/05. Guess I'll throw that out. Does soy sauce go bad? Cause I can't find a date on this bottle.
Powerbuilder333
Timeout? No, timeouts are for Plats
IMO I think you'll have a bigger problem with shitting a brick, rather than squirting it out. At least wait untill you see what happens before you hit the Imodium AD. You could end up needing a colon flush. I'm trying to be serious, but I keep laughing. Sorry Bro.
Puddlemonkey will be missed, he was very entertaining funny.. witty.. at times even charming..
he died this morning around 8:30 unfortunately on his toilet trying to shit out a brick.
RIP good buddy.. sniff..
curse you almonds!
he died this morning around 8:30 unfortunately on his toilet trying to shit out a brick.
RIP good buddy.. sniff..
curse you almonds!
FriendlyCanadian said:
I'm going to miss me
stilleto said:
I'm going to win you millions in the bookie forum when the NFL season starts back up
H
heatherrae
Guest
How's your backside today?
This gives a whole new meaning to "puddlemonkey."
This gives a whole new meaning to "puddlemonkey."
Illks_sister said:hope you feel better so you can see me tonight
I don't care if I have to wear a diaper, we're on for tonight!
stilleto said:cause you're SMAHT.
and hot.
feel better!
I feel so much better today! Yesterday was
Almonds are on my shit list
In more ways than one
In more ways than one
heatherrae said:How's your backside today?
This gives a whole new meaning to "puddlemonkey."
Its only 10am here, but already I'm eyeballin' the bathroom. I'm holding out right now cause I'd like to get it over with in one trip.
