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i need help asap im too jacked
- Thread starter Sub-Zero
- Start date
Subz = good kid.
KillahBee
New member
This is a bit premature, but it's also the perfect opportunity to announce something I have been working on for a while. It's personal training consulting. I'm calling it
The Omicron Project
Broly, I'd be honored to have you as my first true client. We at the Omicron Team will help you to improve upon your debilitating current physical "situation" in several key areas, such as:
Nutrition: Did you know that Ben&Jerry's Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch is not only full of desireable empty calories, but also has large amounts of meth?! Perfect for rapid weight/muscle loss and inducing energy crippling comas!
Fashion Consulting: Let's face the facts - muscles are uncool, man. Who wants to carry around all that extra weight in the summer heat? And we all know how terrible it is to shop for pants when you're rockin Coleman-sized quads. Once we deplete all your body's natural test levels, we will take you on a personalized field trip to Baby Gap where you will be outfitted in the newest cargo pants, mock turtlenecks nondescript button down shirts!!!!
anabolic androgenic steroids Development Lab: You remember how fun it was when you first starting shooting Anavar - oxandrolone - and slamming Dianabol - methandrostenolone - pills?! Well that was straight nerdy compared to what our professional 'scientists' have been working on over the last two months! Here's a hint: injectable clambutteroil laced with estrogen-filled laxatives. The latest experiments point towards weight loss that only high school wrestlers and Nazi prison camp participants have experienced!!
Weight Training Routine Development: And by "weight training" we mean "running 4 miles a day" and "beach volleyball w/ Lestat" programs that will recruit fast twitch muscle fibers to eat away all that annoying muscle.
Come be part of our team, subs.
And remember our Omicron Team saying: "If you have muscles, the government is going to put you in jail".
The Omicron Project
Broly, I'd be honored to have you as my first true client. We at the Omicron Team will help you to improve upon your debilitating current physical "situation" in several key areas, such as:
Nutrition: Did you know that Ben&Jerry's Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch is not only full of desireable empty calories, but also has large amounts of meth?! Perfect for rapid weight/muscle loss and inducing energy crippling comas!
Fashion Consulting: Let's face the facts - muscles are uncool, man. Who wants to carry around all that extra weight in the summer heat? And we all know how terrible it is to shop for pants when you're rockin Coleman-sized quads. Once we deplete all your body's natural test levels, we will take you on a personalized field trip to Baby Gap where you will be outfitted in the newest cargo pants, mock turtlenecks nondescript button down shirts!!!!
anabolic androgenic steroids Development Lab: You remember how fun it was when you first starting shooting Anavar - oxandrolone - and slamming Dianabol - methandrostenolone - pills?! Well that was straight nerdy compared to what our professional 'scientists' have been working on over the last two months! Here's a hint: injectable clambutteroil laced with estrogen-filled laxatives. The latest experiments point towards weight loss that only high school wrestlers and Nazi prison camp participants have experienced!!
Weight Training Routine Development: And by "weight training" we mean "running 4 miles a day" and "beach volleyball w/ Lestat" programs that will recruit fast twitch muscle fibers to eat away all that annoying muscle.
Come be part of our team, subs.
And remember our Omicron Team saying: "If you have muscles, the government is going to put you in jail".
The Omicron Project - creating a nation of Brad Pitts in Fight Club
KillahBee
New member
SublimeZM said:
We can probably strike a deal here, friend.
Oh, and big news. I was going to wait for our PR dept. to cut the press release but what the hell!!
We have just decided to open a new arm of The Omicron Project in downtown LA. We will now be adding a "EXTREME Super Duper Fast OMFG My Internal Organs Hurt Weight Rape Division" to our roster!!!!!!
Led by a malnutritioned former 12yo male Somalian prostitute, this team is mostly made up of Beverly Hills 10th graders - the foremost experts on "Post-Consumption Regurgetation", the building block to any successful weight loss regime!
De-modding KB was the worst move EF ever made 
KillahBee
New member
ceo said:
We approach everyone on a case-by-case basis. We also accept non-monetary forms of payment including but not limited to:
- Candy bars
- Magic the Gathering cards (particularly Wizard to the 17th power)
- Tiger Beat issues 17-24 (the very rare Family Ties swimsuit issue included)
- Hugs
- Fleshlights
We currently have a private forum that will be revealed in due time. However, we are working on a public chat forum right now! It will be a microsite off of www.Forever21.com
all the whey
New member
needtogetaas
New member
lmao!!!!!SublimeZM said:
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