I"m drunk

[satanic goatslayer]

SO fucking Toothless brings ober some Gin for us to enjoy. Fucking A right?..
Nah, he 's got some shit planned for the heathens.

"Hey man, have some gin, it's free"

ALright, I'll have twentty five ounces!!!!

THen things get blurry.\

Toothlees runs at me with a spiked bbta.

I deek him out and stb him in the gut eith a crescent wrench (sharpened of couse)\
and spit on him and sing Cotton Eyed Joe.

Fuckign immigrant tries to kill me,

I stand over him and chant at him, in my singing tone;

"I'M A RETARD!!!!! AND SOON YOU'LL BE DEAAAAEEEEAAAADDD!!!"

Then /I stab hin wiht a fucking bottle and shitr, ya kniow, trying to keep my cool.

He retailtetes.

"Satanic, you cock biter. to,e to dfie!!!!!"

SO I grab the fuckign paki ass turban biter by the head and slit his throat vertically twice.
He gurlges then falls to his knees and dies.

I hate frirndsdsad.

Fuckers,

And I stopped. for Toothelss us me friend, and I dn't want to kill him.

Then I shohved a ,large kitchen knife throough his melon.

He dies slowly.

LOL@ his dead body.

Fuck me.. I need therapy..

Sorry for the poor spelling.


When the blood leaked on me, I shouted HOORAY and danced rthe JIG OF SAINTS.

 

[Austin316]

I was drunk 2 hous ago, now Im sobering up

 

[dballer]

This is thhe most messed up thing you have ever posted!! Congrats!!!

 

[Taps]

SG, you got me so hot with that post.

I want you.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

MSHASDAS:

I'm yusing Toothless's fuckign 56k modem and shir,'

"YO, GOATSLAYER!!!! PLEASE DONT WASTE MY HOOURS!!!!"

Dead fucking paki.

He should atop whiningin and bring me more shine.!!@!!!

What a cocksucker!!

Bon soir.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

And hten I sunt a somg for him:

FUCKING ARAB CUNT!!!!
I STOLE YOU SHIT AND NOW I,"M DRUNK!@!!
YOU SMELL LIKE CURRY AND SHIT!!!!
OFF WITH YOUR HEAD, YOU FUUCKING SIKH!!!

It don't rhyme, but hey, what dies??

Word to the Tevin.

 

[conosco la vostra voce]

I love Satanic Goatslayer already

What gives with the Middle Eastern dislike?

 

[Taps]

I love Satanic Goatslayer already

What gives with the Middle Eastern dislike?

Shut up! He's mine!

I'll fight you for him.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Con wants my sex.

Understandable, really.

I am a man of all trades, though I specialize in clitiopleasureactumy.

Women want my phallus.

 

[conosco la vostra voce]

Tell me more!

 

[dballer]

this is an awesome one!!!!

 

[MasterMind]

I'm not sure I am seeing what I'm seeing LOL...SG you've outdone yourself

 

[68GT350]

Seems like you're very drunk typing this out. I can't believe you killed toothless!!! Who will you hang with now? Bring him back you bastard, he was my brother.

 

[Bodhidogma]

haha
the goatslayer is fucking wasted.
i love it.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Wow. That was fun.

So Toothless comes back to life today, talking about how I shouldn't have plunged that chef's knife into his dome and all. I'm not really listening to him, for Hair was playing, but I had to choke him into unconsciousness before I could attempt to have my morning mug of shine. An inconvenience really.

I apologize for my atrocious spelling and punctuation. I've never logged onto Elite whilst inebriated, but the fucking waste told me he had a T3. Bullshit. Fucking 56k garbage modem.

On the positive side, I hooked up with Toothless' sister last night. All was going well 'til I found out she had her labia sewed shut. I had to take out the stitches before I could violate her. It was a pain in the jugular. Tight goods though, I must admit.

I'm getting loaded again tonight, because of the meteor shower. Any excuse is a good excuse, I always say.

 

[Taps]

I'd offer you a beer but I'm all out man

 

[satanic goatslayer]

I'd offer you a beer but I'm all out man

That and the several hundred miles/kilometers between us.

Thanks for the offer though. I trust it was a good beer you were offering.

 

[HamsterHider]

IF YOU EVER COME TO VEGAS SG I WILL DRINK THE BLACK BABIES BLOOD WITH YOU. WE CAN THEN DO THE RITUAL OF THE BLACK BABY AND YOU WILL THEN KNOW THE POWER THE BLACK BABY POSSESES.

 

[flickenu]

I apologize for my atrocious spelling and punctuation. I've never logged onto Elite whilst inebriated, but the fucking waste told me he had a T3. Bullshit. Fucking 56k garbage modem.

hahahaha...should have strangled him with the phone cord for lying about such a thing.

 

[Taps]

That and the several hundred miles/kilometers between us.

Thanks for the offer though. I trust it was a good beer you were offering.

Only the best. Calgary beer.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Only the best. Calgary beer.

That doesn't tell me anything though.

They sell Extra Old Stock and Lucky in Calgary, but you won't see me drinking them.

I like strong ales and stouts.

Send me some via horseback.

 

[conosco la vostra voce]

I've got some crack if you're interested?

 

[HighIntensity]

now im fuckin drunk

 

[Virtual Acid]

Damn

Shit ... you write some fucked up stuff... But thats okay i liked this one the best .. can i be your therapist?

 

[Train Harder]

I'm drunk enough to believe it