Nobledude? Are you still hanging in there bro? You can beat anything that is given to you as a negative. Ending things is only a permanent solution to a temporary problem...a temporary problem man. It may be a year from now, or ten years from now that you find pure happiness, but there are really no problems tossed at us that we can't find a way out of. Some people may find short routes out only to lead into more problems or not, and some may find long routes out and be great men of honor after the fact. I'm guessing that you are not an old man or you wouldn't be on this board. You have a very long life ahead of you. In my early thirties I thought my life was broken, I thought my life was over period. My credit was crap and my love life was even crappier. I spent alot of time thinking about my own demise, but I'm in my late thirties now and life is pretty damn good. Hypothetically...cough cough...I can make an offer on a house in a nice neighborhood for a half a million dollars and drive a Maseratti.
None of that means I'm gonna do it though. I went through hell emotionally and fiscally, but things worked out for me for now. Tomorrow I may be broke too....that is a part of life. Every day is an adventure, but every day can be a stepping stone to a new life worth living. Make as many friends as possible who can be contacts for jobs or careers in the future. Build your career and then build your life. Sadly, the foundation of a life these days means money. Perhaps looking out for number one is what you need to do for now.