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i have a new office mate

stilleto

ELITE MENTOR
EF VIP
well i have a new job too.
we are in a facility that's too small, so i'm sharing an office with the manager of client services. I don't know what that job entails, but.

a. my office mate is OLD. like... oh...70? he's covered in liver spots.

b. he makes noises all day. he talks to himself, he grunts at the computer, he mutters under his breath.

c. he gave me wrong info twice today. I just started and he was telling me that we signed up for a tradeshow and need to send 700 promotional items. and it had to be printed literature. I knew that didn't make sense, so i called and he was wrong about the amount and the type of item. Then he grunted and said, "oh, you know, they're never happy with what you send."

5. at 4pm, he got up and shut off the air conditioner. JUST as the sun settled right into a spot that was burning a hole in my scalp. I got up and shut the blinds and he said, "you don't like light?"
I said, "i do, but it's shining into my face".
His suggestion was that I turn my back to the window, which means that I can't see my monitor. I said it wouldn't work, and that we'd have to shut the blinds at 4. He scowled at me.

on a nice note, i got a cute email from my boss, who said it must be nice to start my first day with my boss being out of town.
I also had my lunch bought for me and was told they barbeque every wednesday.
I also wrote a promotional "blurb" that came out perfect. :)
 
He's cheating on you.
 
Good stuff. how's the commute?


good luck
 
those are not liver spots, that's redness from him whacking it under the desk

Prol'y out of breath which leads to the grunting
 
gonelifting said:
Good stuff. how's the commute?


good luck

Oh, the commute was good- 30 minutes there. it took me longer to get home, but I turned the wrong way on route... you know what, then had to turn around.
plus, the fair is going on (state fair) 3 miles from my house. since there's pretty much just one road into town, it slowed me down. still, it was 40 minutes home with both of those things.
 
Sneak up behind him and yell 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH'
Watch him grab his chest a fall over.
Step over old man.
Close blinds.
Turn on A/C.
Problem solved.
 
Army Vet said:
Give him a hug. That is probably all he needs.

Then watch him turn into a dirty old man and go for a handful of boob and a slap on the ass.
 
Bang him on the side for extra cash.

Just do it, don't be like that.
 
you've all given me lovely suggestions, thank you.

the only redeeming thing the old man did today was that i was looking at some promotional items online and one of them were notebooks made out of hemp. I mentioned it to someone who was sitting with me and the old man said, "that's only good if you can smoke it."

huh.
maybe I will hug him.
 
Mr. dB said:
How long before you get your own office?

they're looking for a new property to move to. probably a few months. my/our office is big, but it was all his until i got there. there's plenty of room, but i gotta move some of his shit out.

and i will. :)
 
I would gladly be your office mate for free as long as it came with BENIFITS ...ehehehehehehehe :p :p :p I will awaiting a start date
 
Hope the new job goes great Stils. Get a mirror and deflect the light onto him until he bursts into flames then send me pics of you soaked by the sprinklers. Oh and turn the A/C back on.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
Scotsman said:
Hope the new job goes great Stils. Get a mirror and deflect the light onto him until he bursts into flames then send me pics of you soaked by the sprinklers. Oh and turn the A/C back on.

Cheers,
Scotsman
Damn Scots ,, you should probably cut back this week to 650 eod Im getting concerned about your roid rage.,...lolololol whats up pal
 
Arabian said:
Damn Scots ,, you should probably cut back this week to 650 eod Im getting concerned about your roid rage.,...lolololol whats up pal


LOL, I don't joose but thanks for the concern. I am just naturally this aggressive. Just most weeks I keep it in check a little better.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
Do you get to surf EF at all during the day?
If not, you'll need to put in your notice
 
It's been 24 hours. Have you banged him yet?


pics.
 
a. i have not banged him. the guy friggin' talks to himself ALL day. my boss is out of town, but i wonder if he's going to come back and sit with me and realize how annoying the guy is. god i hope so.

b. i haven't surfed ef from work yet, although i do see that nothing is monitored. i haven't had time to do much of anything yet though.
 
stilleto said:
i haven't surfed ef from work yet, although i do see that nothing is monitored. i haven't had time to do much of anything yet though.




de-modded
you suck at life
but I like you
somehow, someway
we will make it


fuck I feel like Spartacus at 2pm on a Wed afternoon
 
stilleto said:
a. i have not banged him. the guy friggin' talks to himself ALL day. my boss is out of town, but i wonder if he's going to come back and sit with me and realize how annoying the guy is. god i hope so.

b. i haven't surfed ef from work yet, although i do see that nothing is monitored. i haven't had time to do much of anything yet though.
The important question is, "Would you hit it?"
 
stilleto said:
why, are you drunk, trying to get a date with a black chick about to graduate high school and smelling like formaldehyde?

no drinking
just being stupid
sober stupid
oh well, except the puff puff
 
javaguru said:
Does he have some moneyz?

i have no idear.
he doesn't dress like it.

he better get some of his crap away from my desk though. every time he goes to go through it, he hands me some and says I might be interested in it. yeah, no. i'm not.
 
stilleto said:
i have no idear.
he doesn't dress like it.

he better get some of his crap away from my desk though. every time he goes to go through it, he hands me some and says I might be interested in it. yeah, no. i'm not.
I was just thinking...if he's old and has moneyz then you might want to forward his contact info to HR....she likes old dudes...
 
javaguru said:
I was just thinking...if he's old and has moneyz then you might want to forward his contact info to HR....she likes old dudes...

i don't think he makes enough.

why the hell am i still awake? i gotta go back to the old guy early in the morning.
 
stilleto said:
i don't think he makes enough.

why the hell am i still awake? i gotta go back to the old guy early in the morning.
Try to be more annoying than him..can you request a site transfer? If you start farting you just might break him....men can't deal with wiminz farting.
 
javaguru said:
Try to be more annoying than him..can you request a site transfer? If you start farting you just might break him....men can't deal with wiminz farting.

i'm just ignoring him, which seems to be driving him nuts.
I was in a meeting yesterday and when i got back to my desk he said, "oh, i thought you left us." I told him as long as my purse is still here, so am I.
but fuck, don't watch what I do.
 
today, he farted. and throughout the whole day he said:

"god dammit!"
"what the fuck?"
"oh geez. look at this!"
and various other noises that I ignored.
all day.
 
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