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I F'd up tonight

Whiskey

Whiskey

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So I had a long term lady "Friend" over tonight, and by friend I mean only friends, but with all the benefits... Anyways, last night I had a different friend over and she was just starting her period. Well that's not about to stop me from having some fun. To make a long story short, I left the condom and kleenex in the bathroom trashcan and the other lady friend for some odd reason looked in it...

I was watching t.v., next thing I know she casually walked into the living room, picked up her phone, "no big deal i'm thinking, needs to make a call" and then walked outside. 10 minutes later I go to the bathroom and there in my sink was the messy condom and tissue out of the trash can. Whoops.

Contemplating my next move. We aren't a couple, but were kinda exclusive when it came to humping the night away.

Opinions on how I handle this? On side note, no, it won't bother me if we never get it on again

Whiskey
 
let me rephrase. Friends with benefits, but she thought she was the only friend like that. And is all pissy now... we'll see. Would hate to lose her "friendship," wicked crazy when it comes to getting it on. The other doesn't care

Whiskey
 
Whiskey said:
let me rephrase. Friends with benefits, but she thought she was the only friend like that. And is all pissy now... we'll see. Would hate to lose her "friendship," wicked crazy when it comes to getting it on. The other doesn't care

Whiskey
Click to expand...

You've now experience why not all women can handle 'friends with benefits'. Most can't :)

Personally, I like the rinse, fuck, get out, repeat method.

r
 
give her time to cool down. when she gets horny again she will call you. she obviosuly thinks she had some unspoken claim on you. guys fuk with their dickm, gals fuk with their minds.

in your situation i would suggest following my father's advice when dealing with gals: "never complain, never explain." :artist:
 
rnch said:
give her time to cool down. when she gets horny again she will call you. she obviosuly thinks she had some unspoken claim on you. guys fuk with their dickm, gals fuk with their minds.

in your situation i would suggest following my father's advice when dealing with gals: "never complain, never explain." :artist:
Click to expand...

^^Best advice right there. And this is from a dewd who plays for the other team LOL. He is DEAD ON.

Leave her be. Don't say shit. If she wants you to scratch her itch again, she will call you. If not... so? Lotsta other bootycall fish in the sea.
 
Yep and she will call not in a day or two but a week or two she will. And if she starts asking tell her she can leave at any time, nicely.
 
goin on 4T said:
Yep and she will call not in a day or two but a week or two she will. And if she starts asking tell her she can leave at any time, nicely.
Click to expand...

Nice touch, that comment right there is golden.

Both parties involved in a booty-call arrangement need to be 100% FREE to do as they please - no obligations and no limitations and NO MISREPRESENTATIONS. If one party decides to change the rules some time down the road then they need to disclose that to the other (as she did when she IMPLIED that she was pissed that you fucked another woman even though you never had a SPOKEN COMMITMENT). So now you have been properly informed, the ball is in your court.

If you are prepared to be faithfull to her sexually then go right ahead and blow up her cell.

However, if you are satisfied to allow this to remain a true BOOTY-CALL situation then you need to "leave it be". Which gives your implied answer to her implied assumption and implied chastizing you for "violating" that assumption of exclusivity.

Dollars to donuts she gives you a drunk dial in less than 2 weeks. Please don't tell me that a woman who you began this story referring to has a pussy that is made of pure platinum. I mean, it's just sex, right?

Sucks to have missed your bus but you know for A FACT that there will be another one coming in 15 minutes. And if you wait long enough THE SAME ONE WILL PULL UP. But who knows, by that time you may have just decided to walk to the train station because you were already late for work, it was a nice day and truth-be-told you could use the exercise. :lmao:
 
The "Friends w/Bennies" or "BootyCall" scenario has a time and a place. As long as the female involved understands that regardless of what happens down the road she will ALWAYS BE remanded to "piece of ass" by the guy, it's cool. Heck, there is nothing wrong with the female remanding the guy to "piece of ass". Harder for women to "get that" but not impossible, especially once they hit their 30's it is generally preferential for the women until they are ready "to settle down" again. Why the whole cougar thing is a desirable SHORT-TERM situation. Again, only running into trouble when either party actually deludes themselves into thinking that such a situation can successfully morph into something longterm.

That is why I always tell men to be TOTALLY UPFRONT from the getco - this is JUST booty-call sitch and NOT A REAL RELATIONSHIP. This way there will be less of a chance that they will come home to their pet rabbit boiling on the stove top. Some psycho broads just can't get a clue no matter how plain a guy makes it, but at least being upfront will mitigate the probability.

I also advise women that are into the whole cougar-thing for goodness sakes HE IS A KYOOT BOY. Enjoy the sex but don't delude yourself into thinking that said booty-call stud is actually serious long-term relationship material.
 
rnch said:
give her time to cool down. when she gets horny again she will call you. she obviosuly thinks she had some unspoken claim on you. guys fuk with their dickm, gals fuk with their minds.

in your situation i would suggest following my father's advice when dealing with gals: "never complain, never explain." :artist:
Click to expand...

rnch i s a wise man.

be patient!
 
hurricane said:
lol ..why would a friend go threw your garbage .. kinda stalkish.. imo
Click to expand...

Clearly, the lights are all on but no one is home. LOL

I am thinkin it was more a case of her looking down and having the things screaming up at her from the top of the little coverless trash receptacles that people usually keep in their restrooms.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Clearly, the lights are all on but no one is home. LOL

I am thinkin it was more a case of her looking down and having the things screaming up at her from the top of the little coverless trash receptacles that people usually keep in their restrooms.
Click to expand...

when he said oddly looked threw it .. it didnt come across that way babes :heart:
 
hurricane said:
when he said oddly looked threw it .. it didnt come across that way babes :heart:
Click to expand...

Oops, I do stand corrected.

Refer back to the statement that began my post which you quoted and ignore the rest. :D

She really IS fucked up in the head. I mean who THE HELL looks through another person's trash "just to see" if there has been another person up in their fuck-buddy's business? Hello - it is *just fucking* mean you purposely IGNORE tell-tale signs if your buddy was careless enough to leave shit out in the open for you to see which IMHO would = you gotta get a fuckbuddy that is *that much more* respectfull of the freedoms of such a situation.

To leave shit out carelessly is REALLY messed up.

If it is stumbled across accidently, you either IGNORE IT 100% or you sorta chuckle at it with your buddy and tell them to "be a bit more tactfull" ie clean your shit up before you ring me for sex. :lmao:
 
rnch said:
didn't lart have this problem a few months back?
Click to expand...


He went and broke the "seriously thinking that a one-night stand with a hot cougar could actually be a REAL RELATIONSHIP" rule.

Not the same thing.

Or did I miss another thread by him?

Very well could be as I have been known to take breaks from chat when it becomes too toxic. Some of those breaks have lasted a couple of YEARS. :whatever: Some people are just addicted to negative attention/interaction with whomever they can goad into it. I don't happen to be one of the *broken individuals* that falls into that category.
 
shrimp poboy said:
Damn she dug the bloody mouse out the trash can?
Click to expand...

Oh shit that's too funny... f'n can't stop laughing at that one...


Kinda my fault, the bloody mouse was the only thing in the trash can, and yes it does have a lid. Still can't figure out what she was going to throw away... there was nothing else in the room... I better go look under the sink.:worried:

And I am doing as many have stated and not saying a word, going to let her make the first move... BUT damn it was some good booty!! A crazy freak that would anywhere:p

Whiskey
 
Don't lie to her. Women don't mind cheating all that much. They don't mind other girls. They just want to know they're the "favored" one.
 
True story. Had a friend awhile ago that didn't mind if I had other girls. I always told her she is free to sleep with whoever she wanted. That she was free.

I would also show her sex videos of other girls I was nailing. (used to love filming the girls). I told her the only reason I showed her the videos of other girls, and not show the other girls her video was because she was my favorite. She was the best in bed.

Is that true? Of course not. Some other girls were better at other things than her. But that's not what they want to hear. They want to know they're your favorite one. Kind of like in a harem situation. They don't want to limit your physical freedom, just your emotional freedom. They want to know you are theirs emoitonally 100% and that the other girls are just for physical sex.
 
bruce9241 said:
True story. Had a friend awhile ago that didn't mind if I had other girls. I always told her she is free to sleep with whoever she wanted. That she was free.

I would also show her sex videos of other girls I was nailing. (used to love filming the girls). I told her the only reason I showed her the videos of other girls, and not show the other girls her video was because she was my favorite. She was the best in bed.

Is that true? Of course not. Some other girls were better at other things than her. But that's not what they want to hear. They want to know they're your favorite one. Kind of like in a harem situation. They don't want to limit your physical freedom, just your emotional freedom. They want to know you are theirs emoitonally 100% and that the other girls are just for physical sex.
Click to expand...

Rnch, believe it or not there is A LOT of validity to what this guy is saying. There are GOBS of women that will allow themselves to be treated this way and I say if the man tells her this UPFRONT then why shouldn't he? Also the *rules* applied to her too. She got to fuck whomever else she wanted. So it's all good.

It's not like he wants to marry these women. I say let every adult be free to do whatever the hell they want as long as they aren't hurting anyone.

The whole "you are *the best in bed* baby" lie is still a lie but so? Does that REALLY MATTER when he has already disclosed (quite graphically) that he is nailing other broads?

BTW - my feelings would be THE SAME were the genders reversed - gay/straight doesn't matter. There are no victims in circumstances like this, but only volunteers.
 
bruce9241 said:
Don't lie to her. Women don't mind cheating all that much. They don't mind other girls. They just want to know they're the "favored" one.
Click to expand...

Having your man step out on you has been rammed down the throats of women since the Bible was written LOL. WTH do you think a concubine came from?

Meh... I say this arrangement sounds perfectly ok to me especially because she gets to fuck around too = true buttbuddy arrangement.

Whatever goes on between CONSENTING ADULTS is AOK in my book.
 
bruce9241 said:
Don't lie to her. Women don't mind cheating all that much. They don't mind other girls. They just want to know they're the "favored" one.
Click to expand...

haha, i'm gonna have to disagree. i'm selfish so if your mine, then your all mine. i'm sure i'm not the only woman who feels that way.....
 
*ebony* said:
haha, i'm gonna have to disagree. i'm selfish so if your mine, then your all mine. i'm sure i'm not the only woman who feels that way.....
Click to expand...

The difference between you and women like you and women like this woman and those like her is that you actually VALUE yourself and what you have to offer a man and you demand the equivalent in return.

IMHO there is a time and place for a fuckbuddy relationship in nearly everybody's life. I don't there is anything immoral about it as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult. Eventually people grow weary of the emptiness of them and opt to pass more often than not while waiting for something a bit more substantive to come along.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
The difference between you and women like you and women like this woman and those like her is that you actually VALUE yourself and what you have to offer a man and you demand the equivalent in return.

IMHO there is a time and place for a fuckbuddy relationship in nearly everybody's life. I don't there is anything immoral about it as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult. Eventually people grow weary of the emptiness of them and opt to pass more often than not while waiting for something a bit more substantive to come along.
Click to expand...

agreed:)
 
Whiskey said:
let me rephrase. Friends with benefits, but she thought she was the only friend like that. And is all pissy now... we'll see. Would hate to lose her "friendship," wicked crazy when it comes to getting it on. The other doesn't care

Whiskey
Click to expand...

so in other words you have a girlfriend (in her eyes) without the title (in your eyes) lame
 
mustang_00 said:
so in other words you have a girlfriend (in her eyes) without the title (in your eyes) lame
Click to expand...

Whoa, put the brakes on, where did the whole girlfriend thing come from? Nononononononno. Neither is wanting a relationship, but apparently she wants a fuck buddy that is hers only.

She got divorced a little over a year ago and doesn't want any kind of a relationship now, just to spend time with her kids and get plowed when needed. She said she doesn't feel like a whore this way, "banging only one person," and wants to be the only one the guy is banging just to keep it clean. Makes some sense... in a woman kind of way

Whiskey
 
Whiskey said:
...but apparently she wants a fuck buddy that is hers only.
Click to expand...
so, she wants all the benefits of a comitted to her only, monogamus sexual relationship but none of the baggage of having a bf? sounds great! where do i sign up??
 
Whiskey said:
She said she doesn't feel like a whore this way, "banging only one person," and wants to be the only one the guy is banging just to [/b]keep it clean.[/b] Makes some sense... in a woman kind of way

Whiskey
Click to expand...

She found a condom, didn't she...which means you were in fact 'keeping it clean'. So if she calls to bitch about this, point this out and tell her to zip it.
 
rnch said:
i can understand why she is "recently divorced". :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

This might help, she left him for cheating on her. She was blind enough to not see he was screwing around on her for at least a couple of years. Travels for work.

Her ex is already married, but not with the chick he was having the affair with, but some random woman he met in a southern state. wtf... And these are the days of our lives. Keeps me entertained I guess

Whiskey
 
Dewd - the fact that she feels the need to "stay faithfull to a fuckbuddy so she feels like less of a whore" = she is NOT sexually liberated enough to engage in such sexually liberated behavior which = nutjob with issues that are better left untapped.

I am sure she is a nice lady but if she feels badly about herself for engaging in an adult fuckbuddy relationship then she needs to STOP.

She's an adult.

She's got kids that are her first priority.

She wants a little adult time when she can.

She needs to grow a set of balls if she wants to fuck around with men. Otherwise tell her to play with herself when she has a free minute, you know... to take the edge off. Unless masterbation is going to make her a whore too. :rolleyes:

Geeze...
 
Don't call her. Wait for her to call you.

If she never calls back and you still want to fuck her from time to time, then you need to mail a dildo over to her house as a joke. Attach a note that says, "this will never cheat on you".

This might get her to call you back without making you seem desparate.
 
bruce9241 said:
Don't call her. Wait for her to call you.

If she never calls back and you still want to fuck her from time to time, then you need to mail a dildo over to her house as a joke. Attach a note that says, "this will never cheat on you".

This might get her to call you back without making you seem desparate.
Click to expand...

LOL

Way too much effort but *golf claps* for originality.
 
If she's upset that she's not your only friend with benefits then maybe she wants more of you then just the benefits.
 
Melaina said:
If she's upset that she's not your only friend with benefits then maybe she wants more of you then just the benefits.
Click to expand...

See now, for us mature women that would make sense. She just doesn't want to "feel like a whore because the guy she only wants sex from is fucking other women."

(the digging through the bathroom trash is a clear indicator of how tore up this woman is)
 
you need to text her out of the blue.. "when you going to let me tap that??"

did she clean the toilet with your tooth brush?? makes ya think huh..
 
Yeah you're definitely not friends with benefits. Give her a little bit of slack here, but not too much since you were never exclusive. Take this as a chance to tell her how it is. If she gets dramatic at all, peace the bitch out.
 
Sorry but no pussy (or dick) is worth it for me to *forget* that my fuck-buddy just dug through the trash in my bathroom "just to see".

Goodness knows I've dated (and married) more than my fair share of controlling psychos to know what I am talking about. LOL
 
If ALL that was in the trash was a condom and a red tissue.... then she didn't NEED to actually take it out, EWWWW.... she could have moved the garbage to the middle of the room or something. Like "I see this" but "I am not dirty enough to touch your leftovers".
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Sorry but no pussy (or dick) is worth it for me to *forget* that my fuck-buddy just dug through the trash in my bathroom "just to see".

Goodness knows I've dated (and married) more than my fair share of controlling psychos to know what I am talking about. LOL
Click to expand...

I'd bet you any amount that every single woman here (and at least 50% of the men) have done something very similar (not that I'd expect any of you to be honest about it). I have.
 
KillahBee said:
I'd bet you any amount that every single woman here (and at least 50% of the men) have done something very similar (not that I'd expect any of you to be honest about it). I have.
Click to expand...

If a dewd was my fuckbuddy then why should I care? They are my fuckbuddy and I have as much claim to his cock as he does to my pussy. All I ever ask is everyone use protection. The fact that there was a bloody condom in my fuckbuddy's trash (were it to be sitting right there on top) would be oddly comforting to me - NEVER would I dig through ANYONE'S trash, let alone the trash of someone who I had NO CLAIM TO.

Here is an example of just how DUMB I CHOSE to be to such situations (meaning not only do I not snoop, I turn a blind eye). A guy who had been my fuckbuddy for years decided that he was "in love with me and that he wanted me to love him back." His words, not mine. Dude swore up and down FOR MONTHS that he wanted our relationship to be a real dating relationship, that he wanted me and only me along with all the baggage that comes from being with me (custody battle w/crazy x, poverty and a gaggle of kids).... so after MONTHS he wore me down. My thoughts? He's really old school in many regards and his family is VERY important to him and HE KNOWS how important my kids are to me so there is NO WAY he could be messing with my head. I mean, why would he? We were already doing all sortsa adult fun stuff without limits. (I don't feel the need to define that here. Just accept the statement fill in the blank with your imagination.)

So now we have the BIG COMMITMENT TALK - HE IS TALKING MARRIAGE. Almost forgot I also put a *swinger clause* in the commitment talk. I knew that he liked to swing and I told him that it was ok but I would have the final say as to who she would be, whenever it would happen and when I was done with her - she needed to be paid and sent on her merry way - gone for good, unless I liked her enough (personally) to have a return engagement. I may have been naive to a great extent but I'd known this man long enough to know that he'd NEVER been faithfull to a woman in his life. But he also claimed that those women didn't accept swinging. So I figured this way it would work. DUMMIE ME.

He courts not only me but my kids too. My kids meet his grown kids, our families socialize on a regular basis all summer long, etc, etc, etc...

One time I am over there (without my kids) and he volunteers some RIDICULOUS lie that his buttcheeks had gotten pinched by a wooden toilet seat (that he had since replaced *wink* *wink*) becuase it hurt him so badly that he had bled on his crisp white comforter and sheets. I was only over there a few times per week, my kids every other weekend. I hadn't menstruated in goodness FOREVER so I remember there is NO WAY that the blood could have come from me. So I don't even ask to see his pasty white ass to check his story, I just ASSUME he is telling the truth... why would he lie right? I mean if I can't be with someone I can trust then I am oughtta there.

So LIKE A FUCKKING DUMBASS I proceed to ask him if he has any hydrogen peroxide. He has two house-keepers that do all the cleaning but apparently they didn't know this: that hydrogen peroxide gets out blood stains no matter how old they are without harming the material. And then I proceed to CLEAN SOME OTHER BITCH'S BLOOD OUT OF HIS FUCKING SHEETS AND COMFORTER!!!

BTW - I didn't even see them. He brought them to my attention I guess to make it look like he wasn't trying to hide anything. The dude was a master when it came to manipulation.

It didn't even occur to me that that is exactly what the scoop was until MONTHS down the road when things got really, REALLY wierd and I finally realized that we were "back to being fuckbuddy" he just *conveniently forgot* to tell me that the rules changed - WE ARE TALKING MONTHS.

All my fault for accepting his lies.

See - THAT is how opposite of *digging through the trash* I am. :whatever:

So why would a man go to such great lengths to ruin a perfectly good fuck buddy relationship? Because he started to develop a genuine affection for me (or maybe he was just getting jealous in his old age LOL) and couldn't stand the thought of me fucking other men (not that I was EVER rude and obvious by doing things like going to the same places out in public that we would have gone, etc)... NOT THAT HE WANTED TO STOP FUCKING OTHER WOMEN. He knew that I was totally sexually liberated but once I gave my word that I committed then I was as faithfull and loyal as a goddamn dog and NOTHING could cause me to stray. For him it was all about power and control as it is for many people who CLAIM to love the other person.

Oh yea... it is because of the above referenced man that I know myself well enough now to NEVER EVER engage in a committed relationship where swinging is accepted. It may work for some but NOT ME. :)
 
Last edited:
KillahBee said:
The chances of me reading all that are pretty slim, broseph. Cliffs Notes?
Click to expand...

I DONT DIG THROUGH ANYONE'S TRASH EVER. I AM THE ANTITHESIS OF DIGGING THROUGH TRASH FOR ANY REASON - PERIOD.

Too bad you didn't read through. You missed the part about how I actually allowed swinging in a committed relationship because I knew the guy who CLAIMED TO WANT TO BE COMMITTED TO ME (we had an awesome fuckbuddy relationship that I did NOT want to change)was also never able to be faithfull to any of his previous wives. = dummbbie FAIL on my part. :)
 
BIKINIMOM said:
I DONT DIG THROUGH ANYONE'S TRASH EVER. I AM THE ANTITHESIS OF DIGGING THROUGH TRASH FOR ANY REASON - PERIOD.

Too bad you didn't read through. You missed the part about how I actually allowed swinging in a committed relationship because I knew the guy who CLAIMED TO WANT TO BE COMMITTED TO ME (we had an awesome fuckbuddy relationship that I did NOT want to change)was also never able to be faithfull to any of his previous wives. = dummbbie FAIL on my part. :)
Click to expand...
heck, you don't even TAKE out the trash, much less dig thru it...or make up a bed..... :FRlol:
 
rnch said:
heck, you don't even TAKE out the trash, much less dig thru it...or make up a bed..... :FRlol:
Click to expand...

Ahhhhhhhhhh a man that knows me TOO well! :verygood:

I totally forgot about *the ick* factor involved in such. Aside from that I have NEVER gone through a man's wallet, his emails, his briefcase, his files, his gymbag, his drawers, medicine cabinet - NEVER. Way too much effort.

As I said, if I have the *inkling* that I needa go through his shit, then we dont NEED to be together. My life has way more drama that I CANT avoid so I don't feel the need to invite *extra*.

Jealousy and possessiveness, the need to control are sicknesses. I got issues but those ain't hardly none of 'em. These repel me like six day old tuna that has been left out rotting in the sun.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
I DONT DIG THROUGH ANYONE'S TRASH EVER. I AM THE ANTITHESIS OF DIGGING THROUGH TRASH FOR ANY REASON - PERIOD.

Too bad you didn't read through. You missed the part about how I actually allowed swinging in a committed relationship because I knew the guy who CLAIMED TO WANT TO BE COMMITTED TO ME (we had an awesome fuckbuddy relationship that I did NOT want to change)was also never able to be faithfull to any of his previous wives. = dummbbie FAIL on my part. :)
Click to expand...

i didn't even read that...
 
The reason she probably is a pcycho and would dig through the trash is because she has been cheated on in the past and so on. However she cannot expect a fuck buddy to be faithful unless you two made the agreement to be fuck buddys and to only sleep with each other. Sounds weird of course however I once had a fuck buddy that would only do it if we only slept with each other. At first it sounded hard but she was very attractive so i thought wtf. She ended up wanting sex soo much I never had the urge to even try to find another piece of ass.
 
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