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I did something phenomenally stupid last night.

RottenWillow

Plat Hero
Platinum
Last night was a very unusual evening for me, no school, and no boyfriend. One class was cancelled and the other is real easy so instead of driving all the way there for that I went over to my bf's house, but he had gotten called into work. His parents are very cool with me hanging out so I got on their basement computer to pass the time on EF until Josh finally rolled in.

So I'm in Chat at night, which never happens, and I'm chuckling to myself over my amazingly witty posts that I'm delighting the nighttime crowd with. "Heehee, oh that was good! Oh I showed that butthole. Hey that was a masterpiece, wow!" Around 9:30 I'm wondering why Josh's parents would have possibly turned the heat on upstairs....I'm not feeling the heat, but I can smell the heat running up there. "Ok, whatever, back to my inimitable cleverness". About 9:45 I start up the stairs to get myself a snack and now I'm really smelling something burning. In a mad panic I accelerate through the family room and run into the kitchen.

On the stove is the smoking 8 quart boiler I put on to boil water for Josh's tea at seven fucking thirty!!! Wanna know what happens to the black teflon finish after you cook it over high heat about about an hour?? It turns off white and kind of bubbles up like the skin under a bandage you've worn for days and you've gotten it wet in the shower 2 or 3 times. So I turn off the gas burner and delicately pick up the pot and run onto the sun deck off the kitchen cause I'm afraid if I put water in the pot to cool it off the pot might crack. I put the pot down on the deck and leave the door open to air out the skinky burny smell before Josh's parent wake up. After 10 minutes the kitchen is OK and I dont hear the pot making that "tink, tink, tink" sound anymore so I pick it up to take it to the sink and guess what? I've burned a nice, big black circle on his parent's sundeck. Oh yeah.....that's right. It's a fucking beaut! Low flying aircraft are going to be able to spot that bastard right in the middle of their redwood stained deck.

So I run water in the pot and of course all the finish comes off, the bottom of the pot is completely silver, no more black teflon coating at all. And of course it stinks too.

I try to scrub the deck with a scowering pad (yeah, scrub off a burn, that'll do it) but only suceeded in scrubbing away some of the dirt below and around the burn thereby making the burn all the more noticeable. Good job. Thumbs up smart girl.

I ended up deodorizing the pot successfully and did make his tea but they're definitely gonna notice it's somehow magically become a nonstick pot. My tentative plan for the deck is to find a very fine grit sandpaper and try to sand off the burn, and if that doesnt work......surprise his parents with a nice big potted plant of at least 15" circumference and cover up the evidence.

And the moral of this story is NEVER get too cocky cause that'll be exactly the time you do something collossally stupid.
 
anya said:
And the moral of this story is NEVER get too cocky cause that'll be exactly the time you do something collossally stupid.

Word this is always when you end up falling flat on your face!
 
:lmao: Hey at least you didn't catch the whole damn house on fire.. nothing a fine sand and new pot can't fix. :)
 
Could`nt find the funny/witty posts you were making that distracted you...



















lol jk karma for your troubles.
 
Next time you outwit me on a post i'll take solace in knowing I didn't burn the house down to do it.
 
Wow. Burning a non-stick pan will kill any pet birds in the house, by the way. If you need another "could have been worse!" to make yourself feel better, thank your lucky stars you didn't find a $600 African Gray claws up.
 
Blame the stain ont he deck on crop circles. Only this will be a deck circle. For obvious reasons.

You sound like you could use some Neurogenix
 
Shit....my god I just remembered, they're barbequeing tomorrow. The fricking gas grill is right beside the damn burn! I just this second remembered that. Oh and guess who's idea it was to barbeque tomorrow?? Yeah.....me.



And you know I really wish I was making all this up to be entertaining but unfortunately it's not even mildly exagerrated.
 
Ouch, that was smooth: neandrathal smooth.

Prepare for having to suck up to BF's parents whims for... well... for EVER!!

:lmao:
 
Dial_tone said:
Next time you outwit me on a post i'll take solace in knowing I didn't burn the house down to do it.


WERD :FRlol:


(not laughing at you... but that was really really funny!)

thanx for the smile. :)
 
anya said:
Shit....my god I just remembered, they're barbequeing tomorrow. The fricking gas grill is right beside the damn burn! I just this second remembered that. Oh and guess who's idea it was to barbeque tomorrow?? Yeah.....me.



And you know I really wish I was making all this up to be entertaining but unfortunately it's not even mildly exagerrated.

Stop worrying. Simply tell them the truth about what happened. You won't be hanged.
 
From Zero said:
Stop worrying. Simply tell them the truth about what happened. You won't be hanged.

I'll tell them the truth, no doubt, but first I'm going to do some damage control before they see it. I'm going to get some sandpaper and a little quart sized can of redwood deck stain and get out there tonight when they're in bed.
 
anya said:
I'll tell them the truth, no doubt, but first I'm going to do some damage control before they see it. I'm going to get some sandpaper and a little quart sized can of redwood deck stain and get out there tonight when they're in bed.

Pretty good idea, stain the deck IN THE DARK.

:rolleyes:

Tell them now.
 
My sister has a couple of kids. She was always anal about who she left them with, heck she never left them with a paid sitter until the oldest was 5.

Anyways - she went to the beach with her older kids and her hubby and left the baby at home with their first sitter. When they came home, the sitter said all was cool and the hubby drove her home. After my sis put the kids to bed she came into the kitchen and noticed a broken ceramic mug in a plastic ziplock bag in the center of the table. Apparently the sitter (whose only repsonsibility was to watch the baby - not to tidy up the house) had cleaned up the kitchen and accidentally broken the mug. Didn't seem like such a big deal only it was one of those "I love you mommy" photo mugs that was several years old - pics of the kids as little babies on it. So this poor girl was trying to do something nice for my sister by cleaning up as well as she knew my sister was overworked and had no help. And what does she get for her trying to be nice? She breaks an irreplaceable item of great sentimental value.

She could have very easily just thrown it out and no one would have been the wiser.

This happened over 7 years ago and my sister still tells the story to people. The sitter is now a grown woman, one that my sister holds in high regard (as do I) because of her character.

She still tells her children about Leia's honesty as an example as to what kind of people she wants them to become....

Just a little something for you to think about. :)
 
Wow, that sounds like something I would do. I feel alot better now. Anywho, why does he still live with his parents?
 
anya said:
I'll tell them the truth, no doubt, but first I'm going to do some damage control before they see it. I'm going to get some sandpaper and a little quart sized can of redwood deck stain and get out there tonight when they're in bed.
make sure you finish it too...
 
Werd said:
My sister has a couple of kids. She was always anal about who she left them with, heck she never left them with a paid sitter until the oldest was 5.

... ... ...

Just a little something for you to think about. :)
i accidentally broke a person's window with a lacrosse ball...

i was shooting against my friends wall, and he didnt catch it (the non shooter was spotting), and it shot back and crashed into the window of the neighbors who were not home at the time... my friend reached in and got the ball through the window and no one would have ever known, but i felt so bad that i wrote a note and left it for them, and then called my mom to tell her about it. my mom said she would pay for it and said i did the right thing by leaving them the note...

as soon as they found out the damages, they drove across town to our house to pick up the check (instead of making us drive to them) and gave me a fucking 50 dollar gift certificate to borders...(the total for the damages was like 110 dollars).

turns out they were moving the next day to start a job on monday and had were giving the duplex back to the landlord, and they were moving out of state and would have been deep fucked if they had to deal with it on their own and figure out with insurance and stuff.


they were indian too, so i was rewarded with some nice green Karma
just something to think about..
 
Yeah tell them what happened, knowing your luck the night air & moisture ratio might not let the stain cure and thats all you need tomorrow night is stain footprints going all thruout the house!


RADAR
 
RADAR said:
Yeah tell them what happened, knowing your luck the night air & moisture ratio might not let the stain cure and thats all you need tomorrow night is stain footprints going all thruout the house!


RADAR

oy, tell them already!
 
anya said:
I've burned a nice, big black circle on his parent's sundeck. Oh yeah.....that's right. It's a fucking beaut! Low flying aircraft are going to be able to spot that bastard right in the middle of their redwood stained deck.

LMFAO :lmao: That story was just the tonic i needed. And the way you told it was sheer class, had me in raptures.

Thanks
 
anya said:
Ceebs has dibs on me honey. She proposed to me a week ago and she lives in Cali too so she can make good on her offer.


the ladies love anya. :D


I am not jealous... will share willingly!

Ceebs is one cute tamale herself. I would be honored to be another "wifey". That is what I need... A WIFE!
 
anya said:
I burned the house down to cover the evidence. All in all I'd say it worked out nicely.

Great, I can now see Mel Gibson making a movie about this called...

Passion of the Talking Heads. David Byrne will play a dyslexic, love sick arsonist who stalk's Anya (ala Brooke Sheilds character from Endless Love) in hopes to woo her away with a new Weber grill.

Tailgaters who use the convienent throw away grills will show up in large aprons with the image of Dom DeLuise on the front to protest the opening of the movie making claims that Byrne and Gibson are in it only for money and extra chafing dishes.
 
anya said:
Ceebs has dibs on me honey. She proposed to me a week ago and she lives in Cali too so she can make good on her offer.


the ladies love anya. :D

Goin' back to Cali, Cali, Cali
Goin' back to Cali...I don't think so.
 
beastboy said:
I'd read this thread if it was about 30 sentences shorter.....and posted by a different member.

However, by taking the time to even respond you betray your true feelings for me.
 
beastboy said:
oh....you posted this thread? I thought it was somone else.

"I'd read this thread if it was about 30 sentences shorter.....and posted by a different member. "

Italics add by me to point out the weakness of your retort.
 
anya said:
"I'd read this thread if it was about 30 sentences shorter.....and posted by a different member. "

Italics add by me to point out the weakness of your retort.

BOLD ADDED BY ME TO INDICATE A JOKE.

Some gals up in here are all uptight and loose at the same time.
 
beastboy said:
BOLD ADDED BY ME TO INDICATE A JOKE.

Some gals up in here are all uptight and loose at the same time.

Ok that was better. I just got zinged.

And I know it was a joke goofass but way below par for you. Geez do I need smiles with you? Mini-slam
 
Update time.


This weekend me and Josh (and by that I mean him) pressure washed the deck of infamy. My scorch mark is still mostly there but it's old news and nobody cares. While I was in the kitchen he adjusted the spray to a real fine point and drew
"Josh :heart: Fluffy" in big loopy letters on 1/2 of the deck, suprised me with it, I was like "awwww".

So he eventually completely finishes the deck, which means his love note gets obliterated. The deck totally dries after an hour or so and guess what? The super fine point he used for the spray actually carved the message into the pine. Giant, looping letters covering a big part of the deck's floor.

We are so meant for one another.
 
Last edited:
LOL

Too funny.

His parents must be like "You know, if she marries Josh, there is a good chance the children will be imbeciles":)
 
JerseyArt said:
LOL

Too funny.

His parents must be like "You know, if she marries Josh, there is a good chance the children will be imbeciles":)

Do you think that using the word 'chance' gets you any closer to getting Frankenchocha pics? It doesn't.
 
ChefWide said:
Do you think that using the word 'chance' gets you any closer to getting Frankenchocha pics? It doesn't.

You know, none of people know me, yet you all assume the worse of me.

It's obvious someone who does know me has been talking.
 
Last night was a very unusual evening for me, no school, and no boyfriend. One class was cancelled and the other is real easy so instead of driving all the way there for that I went over to my bf's house, but he had gotten called into work. His parents are very cool with me hanging out so I got on their basement computer to pass the time on EF until Josh finally rolled in.

So I'm in Chat at night, which never happens, and I'm chuckling to myself over my amazingly witty posts that I'm delighting the nighttime crowd with. "Heehee, oh that was good! Oh I showed that butthole. Hey that was a masterpiece, wow!" Around 9:30 I'm wondering why Josh's parents would have possibly turned the heat on upstairs....I'm not feeling the heat, but I can smell the heat running up there. "Ok, whatever, back to my inimitable cleverness". About 9:45 I start up the stairs to get myself a snack and now I'm really smelling something burning. In a mad panic I accelerate through the family room and run into the kitchen.

On the stove is the smoking 8 quart boiler I put on to boil water for Josh's tea at seven fucking thirty!!! Wanna know what happens to the black teflon finish after you cook it over high heat about about an hour?? It turns off white and kind of bubbles up like the skin under a bandage you've worn for days and you've gotten it wet in the shower 2 or 3 times. So I turn off the gas burner and delicately pick up the pot and run onto the sun deck off the kitchen cause I'm afraid if I put water in the pot to cool it off the pot might crack. I put the pot down on the deck and leave the door open to air out the skinky burny smell before Josh's parent wake up. After 10 minutes the kitchen is OK and I dont hear the pot making that "tink, tink, tink" sound anymore so I pick it up to take it to the sink and guess what? I've burned a nice, big black circle on his parent's sundeck. Oh yeah.....that's right. It's a fucking beaut! Low flying aircraft are going to be able to spot that bastard right in the middle of their redwood stained deck.

So I run water in the pot and of course all the finish comes off, the bottom of the pot is completely silver, no more black teflon coating at all. And of course it stinks too.

I try to scrub the deck with a scowering pad (yeah, scrub off a burn, that'll do it) but only suceeded in scrubbing away some of the dirt below and around the burn thereby making the burn all the more noticeable. Good job. Thumbs up smart girl.

I ended up deodorizing the pot successfully and did make his tea but they're definitely gonna notice it's somehow magically become a nonstick pot. My tentative plan for the deck is to find a very fine grit sandpaper and try to sand off the burn, and if that doesnt work......surprise his parents with a nice big potted plant of at least 15" circumference and cover up the evidence.

And the moral of this story is NEVER get too cocky cause that'll be exactly the time you do something collossally stupid.

My most entertaining non-lesbian story evah.
 
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