I CANNOT do low carbs!!!!!

[mini_mouse]

When i diet and fail, I can become really depressed over the next few days and eat more food because of the depression. I have become suicidally depressed over eating mistakes before. Sounds strange maybe, but thats how much i care about all of it.

So i was wondering if I should just persevere to get lean or if I should weight until the eating disorder is under control and then try it. Persevering now, I thought might take my mind off it once I reach my goal. It would also make me the happiest person in the world. It would make my life to be at 7% body fat. I would be so happy and confident that I people wouldnt know what hit me.

p60, you know, nothing is worth getting this depressed over ... not even achieving 7% bodyfat . The thing is, until you lay your eating disorder to rest, your cutting achievements will always ring hollow for you: they'll never be "good enough". And that's because your eating disorder isn't simply about wanting to be a certain weight or achieving a certain amount of lean mass, it's also about how (un)worthy you feel as a person and how out of control you're feeling in the grand scheme of things. I think you need to re-frame your focus before you channel your energies into cutting. Instead of cramming all your hopes into your weight/bf goals, take some time out to boost your self-esteem in other areas of your life. Because, unless you do, your eating disorder and associated 'all-or-nothing' thinking will continue to be the fire that fuels your cutting schedule and it will undermine all the positives that could ever come from achieving your goals.

 

[hookdup]

p60,
I think it's time for you to celebrate instead of beat yourself up.
So what, your diet isn't perfect!
You are overcoming a deadly disease ... You are WINNING!
Do you know how much willpower that takes???

Focus on the positive. One day at a time, and all that. Just keep reminding yourself, 'I'm in a better place than I was yesterday.' And then, as you're ready, you can clean your diet more.

Baby steps!!! A lot of us have been there!

CONGRATS on having an AMAZING amount of Willpower ... (even if you don't always see it)